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Grav


Registered: 02/06/02
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A couple social fears?
#1224949 - 01/16/03 09:45 PM (21 years, 15 days ago) |
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I've coped with both of these for years... I'll try and explain them.. They probably have even deeper roots that you guys know about.
Fear of sincerity: You feel goofy when ever you act serious about something. Not just in a stern way, but in a pleasant way. It almost feels like some sort of homophobia to express appreciation, and acknowledge how good you feel about things.
Fear of going against 'the design': You believe that there is some 'natural' path in life to take, and that changing yourself in the name of happiness is somehow violating some ultimate plan. Like when you question everything about yourself, and work on changing your behavior, drastically overcoming social anxiety for example (i dont mean following some step program, I mean looking it right in the face and dispelling it), it's like your stepping out of bounds of what a human ought to be allowed to do. And I wonder where this message came from. Another example is how 'perverse' you can feel sometimes, being so content with nothing. Just sitting there. You almost feel wrong for not chasing after all the gimmicks around you. Oh yea, this also has to do with how you recieve people. You have these judgements about everyone and everything and you hold onto them for sanity it seems like. Again, cuz judgement has become part of your 'design', and if you just let it go then you feel like you're losing a part of yourself.
I think the hardest part about getting over negative aspects of yourself is because it feels like your committing some crime, like murdering a part of yourself, but when you finally do it, you realize how silly that is, and how liberated you feel. I guess that is the powerful disguise negativity holds over you.
it tears you up inside.
Well these are kinda shabby explanations, hope some of you can relate.
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SnuffelzFurever
Psychonaut

Registered: 09/17/02
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Re: A couple social fears? [Re: Grav]
#1225006 - 01/16/03 10:52 PM (21 years, 15 days ago) |
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natural insecurities that are the result of the ego :-)
-------------------- "I think it's time we stop Children, What's the sound, Everybody look what's going down"
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Grav


Registered: 02/06/02
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Yes I wanted to recognize some noticeable results of those insecurities...
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sirreal
devoid
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Re: A couple social fears? [Re: Grav]
#1225084 - 01/17/03 12:26 AM (21 years, 15 days ago) |
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I know what you mean.I have always felt a little displaced and out of order for not feeling like I thought society wanted or somehow needed me to.Then I decided that it does not matter and dropped the entire issue from my mind!It will drive you
-------------------- I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest ----------- I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!
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sirreal
devoid
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Re: A couple social fears? [Re: Grav]
#1225090 - 01/17/03 12:38 AM (21 years, 15 days ago) |
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Quote:
You believe that there is some 'natural' path in life to take, and that changing yourself in the name of happiness is somehow violating some ultimate plan. up inside.
I don't feel like my actions are significant enough that they will have much of an impact on any possible "scheme of things".That is kind of self-important.Besides that, I don't feel that society is up to anything that important anyway.Actually, now that I think about it,Maybe that "ultimate plan" should be violated.OK, I will go to the political forum before I start ranting about society,which would inevitably lead to politics.
-------------------- I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest ----------- I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!
Edited by sirreal (01/17/03 12:40 AM)
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Anonymous
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Re: A couple social fears? [Re: Grav]
#1226863 - 01/17/03 12:39 PM (21 years, 15 days ago) |
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I can relate perfectly. Its an internal struggle to release yourself from the outside and then its the outside which keeps picking at you and eats at your core. There was a time when I was content with who I was and with what I thought...
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Glowing_Eleven
Stranger


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Re: A couple social fears? [Re: Grav]
#1227242 - 01/17/03 04:20 PM (21 years, 15 days ago) |
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I can relate
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Murex
Reality Hacker

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Re: A couple social fears? [Re: Grav]
#1227254 - 01/17/03 04:29 PM (21 years, 15 days ago) |
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I sometimes feel I look like a fool when I'm not serious, which is why most people can't tell when I'm serious and when I'm not. When I open myself to someone, they usually tend to hit me in the gut- that's why I act the way I do sometimes. I hope I can find that happy median where I can trust my friends enough to not be turned on (and not be). I also get embarised easily it seems, but sometimes I just don't know how others precieve me. I really shouldn't care so much, but as soon as I give in to one extreme, I hit a brick wall and I end up where I started.
-------------------- What if everything around you Isn't quite as it seems? What if all the world you think you know, Is an elaborate dream? And if you look at your reflection, Is it all you want it to be?
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trendal
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Re: A couple social fears? [Re: Murex]
#1227260 - 01/17/03 04:32 PM (21 years, 15 days ago) |
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I get embarrased way too easily too
--------------------
Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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Strumpling
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Re: A couple social fears? [Re: Grav]
#1227263 - 01/17/03 04:34 PM (21 years, 15 days ago) |
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"I think the hardest part about getting over negative aspects of yourself is because it feels like your committing some crime, like murdering a part of yourself, but when you finally do it, you realize how silly that is, and how liberated you feel. I guess that is the powerful disguise negativity holds over you."
Brilliant
-------------------- Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me. In addition: SHPONGLE
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Larrythescaryrex
teardrop on the fire


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Re: A couple social fears? [Re: Grav]
#1227265 - 01/17/03 04:34 PM (21 years, 15 days ago) |
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I've found that I hold such a level of apathy that I don't care about that sort of stuff. I use to feel like you until I came to terms with the fact my fears stem from not understanding my lack of caring. 
it kinda suxx
-------------------- RIP Acidic_Sloth Sunset_Mission said: "larry the scary rex verily scary when thoroughly vexed invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex mercifully massacring memories masterfully relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs" April 24th 2011
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Murex
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Re: A couple social fears? [Re: Grav]
#1227270 - 01/17/03 04:38 PM (21 years, 15 days ago) |
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Just try to be yourself I guess, and try not top care so much about what others think of you.
-------------------- What if everything around you Isn't quite as it seems? What if all the world you think you know, Is an elaborate dream? And if you look at your reflection, Is it all you want it to be?
Edited by Murex (01/17/03 04:40 PM)
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Grav


Registered: 02/06/02
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Re: A couple social fears? [Re: Murex]
#1227994 - 01/18/03 01:55 AM (21 years, 14 days ago) |
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Oh dont worry, I stopped really caring what others think awhile ago. I am a nice person because I choose to be that way, not cuz people like nice people. it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. i just wanted to reveal some things that gave me trouble in the past.
the primary thing im concerned about now is doing something productive with my life which seems like it will have my hands full, and trying to shake procrastination. that and staying what i think is open minded. very challenging to me.
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