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Drise
Regnarts
Registered: 02/25/07
Posts: 443
Loc: Underwater
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Psychedelic Depression
#6761618 - 04/08/07 03:12 PM (16 years, 11 months ago) |
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So I am a pretty avid tripper, at least once a month on either LSD or mushrooms, whichever I can get my hands on.
But over the past three or four trips I always return to the same place in my trip, I will be exploring the world, considering the universe and incohorently talking to people but my mind always falls back on that there is an end.
There's an end to everything, there is an end to this day, there is an end to my life, there is an end to time. There is an end to my current relationship with the opposite sex. And I get stuck there, in that sad place where it feels like theres no hope.
My friend said a quote i really enjoyed and it felt like it hit home, he said "Thats all there really is you know, to exist in nothingness, or to not exist."
I dont know really what to do about the whole situation, it has really pulled me off the urge to trip, and I am the most well-known proponent of psychedelic use in my circle of people I know. I feel almost betrayed, I always hoped it would help me in my quest for enlightenment and now life feels hopeless in a sense.
Just interested to hear peoples thoughts. And similar experiences? I hope not.
-------------------- "It is only once we've lost everything, we are free to do anything." Everything I think, say, or do is fictional
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DeathCompany
Oneironaut
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Re: Psychedelic Depression [Re: Drise]
#6761641 - 04/08/07 03:16 PM (16 years, 11 months ago) |
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the problem is your seeing the end as something bad. With every ending theres a new beginning.
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Pmeth
Bring it on.Beby!
Registered: 04/08/07
Posts: 36
Loc: Canada
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Re: Psychedelic Depression [Re: Drise]
#6761643 - 04/08/07 03:16 PM (16 years, 11 months ago) |
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Alright well , i never did shrooms or lsd yet.. but i do smoke weed every day or almost every day and smoke salvia quiet often, when ever i smoke marijuana i always have once in a while a depressive trip but its always educational in my oppinion, shows me what i might be doing wrong gives me another perspective on my problems or life.
What i would recomend is when shrooming have a possitive mind clear your mind. Im planning on doing shrooms this summer and i read and did alot of research, i read that depending on your mood depends how you trip on shrooms.
hope this helps somehow... happy tripping.
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zshroomer
Stranger
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Re: Psychedelic Depression [Re: Pmeth]
#6761658 - 04/08/07 03:22 PM (16 years, 11 months ago) |
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It seems to me that the people who are satisfied with George Bush, Carl Sagan, MTV, and CNN explaining reality and how life is.. are stuck in a certain gear, it seems like they have never left the broad, swift stream of mundane thinking.
People need to be taught how to learn from experience and how to learn from our own consciousness. We need to all explore our minds and imagination, and open the doorways to higher planes of existence.
Every time a culture gets in trouble, it casts itself into the past - looking for the last sane moment we ever knew.. the last sane moment we ever knew was in the plains of Africa thousands of years ago. This was before armies, warfare, and history. Before slavery, property, and ownership. Before alphabets, and monotheism. But this is almost where the future seems to be taking us.. The new 'secret' faith of the new age, is a nostalgia for the archaic, and the paleolithic.. The new age mind, is nostalgic for the paradise that once existed.
I believe that the plant-human symbiosis is what brought our human minds out of our animal bodies, and into the tool-using, culture making, and imagination exploring creatures that we are.
If we all were able to expand our awareness, our consciousness, and our power of our senses together as one bodiment of humanity. Community would become such a unified bond of creativity.. the world would become a utopia of magic and ritual. A peaceful cycle would lay itself in front of us.
shrooms has brought me to this state of mind.
-------------------- I pledge Mother Earth as my one country I pledge Humanity as my one people I pledge Life as my religion I pledge Love as my prayer I pledge Peace and Freedom as my birthright And the birthright of all humanity My heart beats one with all my Relations
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Drise
Regnarts
Registered: 02/25/07
Posts: 443
Loc: Underwater
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Re: Psychedelic Depression [Re: zshroomer]
#6761801 - 04/08/07 03:58 PM (16 years, 11 months ago) |
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I too have been there, I was before this.
I feel as if I have to be famous for something, to be able to get my name out there and people to listen to try and correct the world. Though I also think we have eternally fucked it up, and it's going to take a massive world war or something to let us start over. I want the world before all this development, why was there ever any reason to change it?
Quote:
I believe that the plant-human symbiosis is what brought our human minds out of our animal bodies, and into the tool-using, culture making, and imagination exploring creatures that we are.
Though that sounds like a good thing, is it? Isn't that what created all of what we have today? I call for a new caveman era!!
-------------------- "It is only once we've lost everything, we are free to do anything." Everything I think, say, or do is fictional
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TurricaN
Grasshopper
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Re: Psychedelic Depression [Re: zshroomer]
#6761875 - 04/08/07 04:16 PM (16 years, 11 months ago) |
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zshroomer; your post sounds a lot like Terrence McKenna.
Anyways, I personally don't believe in an ultimate end; it just makes no sense to me. I believe things just go on and on and on... I've been in the situation you describe before; for me, the trick is in looking forward to finding out what is beyond the end - the brand new possibilities that open up to you beyond the end.
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Drise
Regnarts
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Re: Psychedelic Depression [Re: TurricaN]
#6761897 - 04/08/07 04:21 PM (16 years, 11 months ago) |
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Yes, I've considered that a possible higher dose and a sort of "Death and re-birth" maybe be what I am in need of.
-------------------- "It is only once we've lost everything, we are free to do anything." Everything I think, say, or do is fictional
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kaniz
That one, overthere.
Registered: 07/23/04
Posts: 4,166
Loc: Ontario
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Re: Psychedelic Depression [Re: TurricaN]
#6761915 - 04/08/07 04:25 PM (16 years, 11 months ago) |
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You know, one day I was tripping on LSD, having a fantastic day - got thinking about my past, my child hood, then my grandfather.
Then, it hit me - he's dead, he's gone - he's no longer here. It was pure emptiness. It was like the raw nerve of that emotion was hit with a sledge hammer and I was told he was dead for the very first time and the gravity of what that meant to me.
It hurt, it hurt SO much - I cried, and cried, and cried - but it felt good to cry, because within that hurt, that emptiness - there was hope, and a connection and an energy, in that emptiness I was able to feel his presence again.
The end is just the beginning, another stage that you enter - its a constantly flowing energy. It never really ends, it just changes states / energy / form - but its still a part of you, and forever will be a part of you.
Either it be a relationship - even if it 'ends', its impacts are left upon you, its not so much ending but changing a state. Death is just the beginning, the end is not the 'end', and isnt something to dispare or fear. While its not something you want to go charging head-forward into (life is too good to give away), its something to look forward to as just another cycle and another way of bringing you back to the source which is what connects us all.
Edited by kaniz (04/08/07 06:46 PM)
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cpw1971
Mr
Registered: 10/07/06
Posts: 5,615
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Re: Psychedelic Depression [Re: kaniz]
#6761977 - 04/08/07 04:39 PM (16 years, 11 months ago) |
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you are a soul that is eternal this physical reality is but a hologram instead try and connect to the eternity
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Drise
Regnarts
Registered: 02/25/07
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Re: Psychedelic Depression [Re: cpw1971]
#6762333 - 04/08/07 06:27 PM (16 years, 11 months ago) |
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I enjoyed that post kaniz, thank you.
-------------------- "It is only once we've lost everything, we are free to do anything." Everything I think, say, or do is fictional
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Hippie Chemist
Freeing Minds
Registered: 04/05/07
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Re: Psychedelic Depression [Re: Drise]
#6762382 - 04/08/07 06:45 PM (16 years, 11 months ago) |
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I'd say you should up the dose. Sometimes it doesn't hurt to stretch the limits in order to see further. Also, try a new environment. I've seen the end in that same way, but at the same time, you realize that all things happen in cycles. It's hard to let go of reality to fully experience a psychedelic at lower doses, but when you go far enough, every-day situations like relationships lose their meaning. When you can let go, you'll be able to focus on what's really important. Basically, try to at least double your normal dose, and keep the setting very quiet and relaxing. I don't think I have to say it, but since this is a shroomery forum...keep the T.V. off. All seasoned psychonauts know that electronics are evil when you trip.
-------------------- Long you live and high you fly And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry And all you touch and all you see Is all your life will ever be. -Pink Floyd-
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Syle
Kenai Sigh
Registered: 10/16/05
Posts: 6,678
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Re: Psychedelic Depression [Re: kaniz]
#6762511 - 04/08/07 07:31 PM (16 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
kaniz said: You know, one day I was tripping on LSD, having a fantastic day - got thinking about my past, my child hood, then my grandfather.
Then, it hit me - he's dead, he's gone - he's no longer here. It was pure emptiness. It was like the raw nerve of that emotion was hit with a sledge hammer and I was told he was dead for the very first time and the gravity of what that meant to me.
It hurt, it hurt SO much - I cried, and cried, and cried - but it felt good to cry, because within that hurt, that emptiness - there was hope, and a connection and an energy, in that emptiness I was able to feel his presence again.
The end is just the beginning, another stage that you enter - its a constantly flowing energy. It never really ends, it just changes states / energy / form - but its still a part of you, and forever will be a part of you.
Either it be a relationship - even if it 'ends', its impacts are left upon you, its not so much ending but changing a state. Death is just the beginning, the end is not the 'end', and isnt something to dispare or fear. While its not something you want to go charging head-forward into (life is too good to give away), its something to look forward to as just another cycle and another way of bringing you back to the source which is what connects us all.
thanks for htat post Kaniz. it really touched me
gonna go ponder what you said for a little while
-------------------- https://kenaisigh.bandcamp.com/ <- Just completed the 2021 RPM challenge for February - An EP in one month (5 songs or 20 minutes). Check it out!
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PhanTomCat
Teh Cat....
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Re: Psychedelic Depression [Re: Drise]
#6762527 - 04/08/07 07:35 PM (16 years, 11 months ago) |
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Learn to look forward to every next end, as the "ends" never really end....
>^;;^<
-------------------- I'll be your midnight French Fry.... "The most important things in life that are often ignored, are the things that one cannot see...." >^;;^<
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seeperplexed
Stranger
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Re: Psychedelic Depression [Re: Drise]
#12245821 - 03/21/10 11:09 PM (14 years, 11 days ago) |
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I will say before anything, to achieve this enlightenment you so desire, you must abandon use of mind-altering substances for social benefit. Just because you're the person with the drugs, you don't have to keep taking them if trips become sour.
I am a 16 year old male, and I too was an avid tripper (LSD, but my first trip ever was an excellent mushroom trip) until about a week ago. I have had chronic depression and anxiety since I was a child, but it did not stop me from experimenting with the drug when I was 15. Since then, I have taken it about 40 times, all extremely potent hits (helps to know people) Just very recently, about the last month of my tripping, things started to go downhill a little bit after trips. I was beginning to lose my eyesight as I originally knew it. Things were starting to just look acidic, often two-dimensional. This extremely significant change was haunting for me. I knew I would never get that back...
Thoughtlessly, I kept taking it. I felt like there were countless things to be discovered each and every experience, and that even though I was having these problems, taking more of the LSD would eventually help me discover my problems. Really, it did quite the opposite. My thoughts and anxieties have become even more irrational, often absurd beyond comprehension. Sexual desire has decreased greatly, and often the idea of sex puzzles me, as does the look of the human race. I look in the mirror, and often times I'm just puzzled. I can look at myself for an hour, and not feel like I'm looking at myself. I feel like the mind manifesting effects of LSD are just beginning to dominate my life.
I just wanted to share my story in hope someone can relate and explain to me some of the things they experience, because I feel very helpless, and often suicidal.
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PrimalSoup
hyperspatial illuminations
Registered: 11/17/09
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Talking to the past here - you wanna start a current thread of your own on this topic...
Peace -PS
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