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MisterMuscaria
Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc:
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Thirst for simplicity
#12200236 - 03/14/10 12:55 PM (14 years, 18 days ago) |
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I find as I get older Im developing a profound thirst for simplicity. Simplicity that a few years ago I would've found boring far too boring and mundane. Back then I required constant stimulation and I know people who require constant stimulation and Im tired of constant stimulation. I dont want to be stimulated anymore, I want to stimulate.
Im no longer too interested in universal truth, conspiracies, complex ego games, lies and material entrapment.
All I want is to admire beauty for what it is without the old ulterior motives; yet I feel so many people around me are playing so many ego games that I cant distinguish what from what and I just want it all to stop.
I want simplicity.
I want to be able to just meditate for 6 hours without people always telling me I need to think or doubt myself or do anything.
Im content just to be when folks always tend to either A) try to figure out what I am and what my motives are or B)Try to turn me into something I am not that I never will be
The former I can respect, because I used to always be trying to figure people out, their motives, etc but right now I dont even care anymore. Im removed from it. If they have pure intent Ill see it right away. If they have mal intent Ill see it right away too. So long as Im honest and dont give into their games or start playing the games again myself.
I want to be with people who want me around for no other reason than just to be around me. People who will take care of me AND let me take care of them just because they feel the one universal love and can jive with it.
Im so tired of the games all these people play, it gets me so spun out trying to follow them as they move in circles while I am merely content to just sit on my hill, meditate and smile at the world.
This is not directed towards any one or any group or anything in particular, and a good portion of you know whats up and arent psychic vampires who play constant games, and still others here know whats up and still play the games just cuz they enjoy the stimulation.
No longer really care about definitions, labels, etc; cant be bothered by it. No longer give a shit about making people see things from my point of view. If they cant see what I can than that is their issue and I respect that. Ill still show them a few kind words if I feel them tumbling around in my gut waiting to be let free.
We'll only ever have the now and Im feeling happy in this moment. No one can rob us of that if we dont let them.
I feel a deep love for the universe deep in my core. There might be a little hate in that love but I like a little love in my hate and a little hate in my love.
Words can be poison; but the same way they can be poison they can be medication or meditation. I cant try to hold onto them too long, I gotta let them go otherwise theyll die inside me or become twisted and twist me up in the process.
Too many robots out there with their contorted faces cant even feel their own bodies amd are tryin to tell us how we should live.
A girl said something to me a few weeks ago that really helped me out, something funny, something I never thought of that really put a positive change in my life.
She said "I think youd be alot happier if you were more selfish".
Being more selfish has actually allowed me to become more selfless.
If we want to be truely happy we need to lay down the ultimatum on the psychic vampires rather than fold to their whims. We need to say "look, here's whats up, take it or leave it, if you dont agree Ill walk". It took me a long while to learn that...I used to kind of a pushover.
A healthy dose of hedonism can transform a muckshovel into a happy man...hard for me to grasp at first but totally true.
Im done fighting, done struggling, ready to give into the all and leave it up to the big man(jury is still out on whether or not he exists but Ill still talk to him, he makes for good conversation and I enjoy my schizophrenia) so to say.
There aint no shame in taking care of your head, aint no one else gonna take care of it for you if you cant do it properly yourself.
A Pink Floyd quote I like that sums up my feelings about detachment and overcoming what was once crippling anxiety is "I dont care if the sun never shines, I dont care if nothing is mine; I dont care if Im nervous with you, Ill do my loving from the window"
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laserpig
Weedmaster_P
Registered: 04/28/09
Posts: 7,468
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
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an admirable post
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MisterMuscaria
Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc:
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Mods you can move this to my journal, I kinda wanted to post it there to begin with. Thanks.
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bardleyrichard
My Keyboard Got Damaged
Registered: 02/12/09
Posts: 1,904
Loc: Ohio
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
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Nice post, and I can agree with a lot of what you're talking about.
Quote:
MisterMuscaria said:"I dont care if the sun never shines, I dont care if nothing is mine; I dont care if Im nervous with you, Ill do my loving from the window"
That's a great quote
-------------------- I find myself yearning for clouds returning, all that the rain promises, and more...
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Epilson Lyrae
Armed with hammers
Registered: 04/07/09
Posts: 5,561
Loc: Woody Creek
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My first thought is that you got ahold of some good psychedelics. lol
but whatever the reason for this post, you'll make it bro. You may find that as you get older, a lot of the old, negative thought patterns will give way to a more compassionate outlook. This is a good thing.
-------------------- "Freedom is something that dies unless it's used." H.T. I've come to believe that the heart is the filter of the enlightened mind. Epilson Lyrae
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DR. PRIME
Mental M.D.
Registered: 12/14/06
Posts: 2,293
Loc: Chicago
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Quote:
Too many robots out there with their contorted faces cant even feel their own bodies and are tryin to tell us how we should live.
Cyborg Ninjas unite!
--------------------
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niteowl
GrandPaw
Registered: 07/01/03
Posts: 16,291
Loc:
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That was well said
When you start living your life for you and stop trying to make everyone around you happy
only then will you find true happiness in life
-------------------- Live for the moment you are in nowDon't be bogged down by your pastDon't be afraid of what lies in your future
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norml840
sex toy guru
Registered: 10/19/07
Posts: 3,170
Loc: lost
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Man I really dig that post. I couldn't agree more. Give me simplicity. I've been screaming this to my family for about a year now. I want out of this rat race.
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MisterMuscaria
Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc:
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Re: Thirst for simplicity [Re: niteowl]
#12200739 - 03/14/10 02:35 PM (14 years, 18 days ago) |
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People pleasing lead me to the end of my rope and I feel like by finally dropping the act and being dead honest about what I want and how I want it my quality of life has increased 100 fold.
The kid gloves are off, Im no longer living as a self professed "nice guy" who gets walked all over.
Ill be compassionate about it but Im no longer constantly living in fear of confrontation or looking for folks to follow.
If folks want to follow me they can but Im done following anyone but myself.
Im gonna be me and Im not changing myself for anyone. No girl, employer, "friend" whatever. No longer do I feel like being ashamed at who I am or apologizing for anything that I still in my heart stand by as truth.
To those who havent yet gotten the wakeup call, or maybe have already had it and then went back to sleep...make sure that when you get it you dont go back to sleep.
Edited by MisterMuscaria (03/14/10 02:48 PM)
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niteowl
GrandPaw
Registered: 07/01/03
Posts: 16,291
Loc:
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Quote:
MisterMuscaria said: Im gonna be me and Im not changing myself for anyone. No girl, employer, "friend" whatever. No longer do I feel like being ashamed at who I am or apologizing for anything that I still in my heart stand by as truth.
Truth is very subjective.
The only truth you need worry about is your own
If you know in your heart that you are doing the right thing then that is what you must do regardless what other people believe
-------------------- Live for the moment you are in nowDon't be bogged down by your pastDon't be afraid of what lies in your future
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skatealex2
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Registered: 07/04/08
Posts: 18,699
Last seen: 5 months, 23 days
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Re: Thirst for simplicity [Re: niteowl]
#12200823 - 03/14/10 02:55 PM (14 years, 18 days ago) |
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simplicity would be easier iif you didnt have to make a living
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MisterMuscaria
Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc:
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Re: Thirst for simplicity [Re: skatealex2]
#12200830 - 03/14/10 02:56 PM (14 years, 18 days ago) |
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But you could make a living in a simple way as opposed to a complex way.
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skatealex2
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truuu
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Poid
Shroomery's #1 Spellir
Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 40,372
Loc: SF Bay Area
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Quote:
MisterMuscaria said: But you could make a living in a simple way as opposed to a complex way.
Simple ways are usually much more laborious, and pay much less.
-------------------- Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. -- Bob Dylanfireworks_god said:It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.
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MisterMuscaria
Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc:
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Re: Thirst for simplicity [Re: Poid]
#12201007 - 03/14/10 03:26 PM (14 years, 18 days ago) |
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It is what you make it. I dont need a ton of money to do what I want in life. Some people like to be surrounded by many creature comforts but I just want to spend my money on traveling.
I can travel on 50 bucks or 5000 bucks, the only difference will be a suite vs squat and meals at fancy restaurants vs gas station food.
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Poid
Shroomery's #1 Spellir
Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 40,372
Loc: SF Bay Area
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I'm just saying that if you're gonna be working your ass off anyways, it's smarter to work for the highest paying job you can get.
= freedom in this world.
-------------------- Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. -- Bob Dylanfireworks_god said:It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.
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danlennon3
LivingIsEasyWithEyesClosed.....
Registered: 10/29/02
Posts: 19,246
Loc: usa
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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This post hits very close to home. You pretty much summed up how I feel about life. I spent much time striving to learn everything I could. It got overwhelming and I had to "take a break". At this point in my life, I am more content with less. This view will NEVER tarnish the connection I feel to the world... I will always have that sense of wonder and love. But I do not feel so connected with most people I encounter.
-------------------- "Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"
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MisterMuscaria
Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc:
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Re: Thirst for simplicity [Re: Poid]
#12201034 - 03/14/10 03:32 PM (14 years, 18 days ago) |
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I make much more money working for myself than I do at conventional jobs and find it to be a much simpler existence. It doesnt work for everyone though and I starve some nights but hey, I enjoy it. Thenagain other nights I get really lucky and make a good amount all at once.
There is ALWAYS another buck to be made if you know where to look. It doesnt have to be direct deposited into your account by a fat slave driving foreign dude. Buy low, sell high, stick to legal commodities and you are golden.
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Poid
Shroomery's #1 Spellir
Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 40,372
Loc: SF Bay Area
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Yeah, I have almost no idea how to make money, other than working for shitty ass entry-level jobs--I'm screwed until I get a college degree...
-------------------- Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. -- Bob Dylanfireworks_god said:It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.
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skatealex2
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Registered: 07/04/08
Posts: 18,699
Last seen: 5 months, 23 days
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Re: Thirst for simplicity [Re: Poid]
#12201111 - 03/14/10 03:44 PM (14 years, 18 days ago) |
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my only good ideas for money are to play some shows and give guitar lessons ... even my college degree is open ended
i could have gotten cashier jobs last year but that would pay less than giving lessons so theres no point.. all other jobs would take mad long to apply for and hope to get a call back in addition to working for other people and possibly getting drug tested,etc...
Edited by skatealex2 (03/14/10 03:48 PM)
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MisterMuscaria
Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc:
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Re: Thirst for simplicity [Re: Poid]
#12201165 - 03/14/10 03:51 PM (14 years, 18 days ago) |
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You could always be a casino janitor. Do you now how many cash out tickets and wads of hundies those people find? How many envelopes get dropped on the ground? How many diamond rings left in a table? How many wallets left by a slot machine?
I remember about reading some guy who became a millionaire at a horse track because he picked up discarded tickets that were winners.
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niteowl
GrandPaw
Registered: 07/01/03
Posts: 16,291
Loc:
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Re: Thirst for simplicity [Re: Poid]
#12201178 - 03/14/10 03:52 PM (14 years, 18 days ago) |
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Quote:
Poid said: I'm just saying that if you're gonna be working your ass off anyways, it's smarter to work for the highest paying job you can get.
= freedom in this world.
To a point yes.
I need enough money to pay my rent, utilities and feed myself
everything else is just gravy
Im not a slave to money by any means.
-------------------- Live for the moment you are in nowDon't be bogged down by your pastDon't be afraid of what lies in your future
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MisterMuscaria
Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc:
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Re: Thirst for simplicity [Re: niteowl]
#12201188 - 03/14/10 03:53 PM (14 years, 18 days ago) |
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Freedom is a state of mind, it's not about your bankroll.
I can have a penny in my pocket and be a millionaire in my head.
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Poid
Shroomery's #1 Spellir
Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 40,372
Loc: SF Bay Area
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Re: Thirst for simplicity [Re: skatealex2]
#12201194 - 03/14/10 03:54 PM (14 years, 18 days ago) |
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I wanna make good money playing music--I've made a few bucks here & there doing it in public, but I wanna play in a band, that would be awesome.
-------------------- Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. -- Bob Dylanfireworks_god said:It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.
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Poid
Shroomery's #1 Spellir
Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 40,372
Loc: SF Bay Area
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Quote:
MisterMuscaria said: You could always be a casino janitor. Do you now how many cash out tickets and wads of hundies those people find? How many envelopes get dropped on the ground? How many diamond rings left in a table? How many wallets left by a slot machine?
I remember about reading some guy who became a millionaire at a horse track because he picked up discarded tickets that were winners.
Shit, man--see, I'm not not creative like you when it comes to money. Thanks for the ideas.
Quote:
MisterMuscaria said: Freedom is a state of mind, it's not about your bankroll.
I can have a penny in my pocket and be a millionaire in my head.
I don't feel free living in another person's house.
-------------------- Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. -- Bob Dylanfireworks_god said:It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.
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Tedwilto
Veni, vidi, vici
Registered: 12/08/08
Posts: 5,158
Loc: Sunny Afternoon in
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
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Rich man crying because money is time Poor man smiling cause he knows he ain't blind
-------------------- Song of the week, click Huey: Song of the week list in journal.
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