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 learningtofly
Ancient Aliens
Registered: 05/21/07
Posts: 15,105
Loc: Out of this world
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
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 Re: awkward sex stories  [Re: memes]
#12076300 - 02/22/10 10:48 AM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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ooooooo ok. see, i had no idea what the hell i was doin' in that shower.
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Maurer
Registered: 11/21/09
Posts: 5,203
Last seen: 12 years, 3 months
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I farted during sex once, really loud 
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 thedudenj
Man of the Woods
Registered: 08/18/04
Posts: 14,684
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Re: awkward sex stories [Re: Maurer]
#12078267 - 02/22/10 03:49 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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i got raped by a red head. im not gona go into to much detail but under age drinking, plus parents home, and her punching me in balls ripping my shirt off and biting and scratching me so hard that i bleed alot and had scars for more then a year.
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"You all are just puppets... You have no heart...and cannot feel any pain...""
you may think thats pain you feel but you must have a heart to feel true pain and that pain wont be yours
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memes
Blessed
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: awkward sex stories [Re: thedudenj]
#12078279 - 02/22/10 03:51 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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jersey bitches...
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andrewss
precariously aggrandized
Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 8,725
Loc: ohio
Last seen: 3 months, 30 days
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Re: awkward sex stories [Re: thedudenj]
#12078345 - 02/22/10 04:04 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
thedudenj said:
i got raped by a red head. im not gona go into to much detail but under age drinking, plus parents home, and her punching me in balls ripping my shirt off and biting and scratching me so hard that i bleed alot and had scars for more then a year.
HA! 
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Jesus loves you.
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memes
Blessed
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: awkward sex stories [Re: Maurer]
#12078420 - 02/22/10 04:15 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Maurer said:
I farted during sex once, really loud
Hahahahah I've been there. Luckily it was with a long-term GF at the time. It was right in the beginning, still missionary, and i'm pretty sure we had just eaten a little while before - hahaah
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thedudenj
Man of the Woods
Registered: 08/18/04
Posts: 14,684
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Re: awkward sex stories [Re: memes]
#12078463 - 02/22/10 04:20 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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oh man it wasnt funny it was my pink floyd tye dye shirt and my nuts hurt alot not to mention all the places i had scares which hurt for a while
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"You all are just puppets... You have no heart...and cannot feel any pain...""
you may think thats pain you feel but you must have a heart to feel true pain and that pain wont be yours
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AJ4U
Cloud N9ne
Registered: 09/06/06
Posts: 5,609
Loc: Dirty Jersey
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months
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Re: awkward sex stories [Re: memes]
#12078520 - 02/22/10 04:29 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
meams said:
jersey bitches...
Werd to tha homie.
Hah and im pretty sure iv been to that bar thousands of times
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fatboi07
Registered: 02/19/10
Posts: 59
Loc: Space
Last seen: 11 years, 11 months
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Re: awkward sex stories [Re: AJ4U]
#12078774 - 02/22/10 05:09 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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Ilovesmeajerseyhoe.
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Deekay
Registered: 09/07/08
Posts: 3,220
Loc: 
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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Re: awkward sex stories [Re: AJ4U]
#12078835 - 02/22/10 05:20 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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Me and my ex never used a condom, she was on birth control and I always pulled out. Well we were banging in her dorm one afternoon and her legs were wrapped around while I did her in missionary. I had to bust a nut so I told her, to which she responded 'I don't care' so I nutted all up in her. BOY YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE LOOK ON HER FACE . She apparently meant 'I don't care pull out' but her legs were wrapped around me tight so I couldn't have escaped anyway. That was priceless.
Also maybe busting a nut on her face, but instead having all of it end up shooting into her nostril and subsequently down her throat. 
Edited by Deekay (02/22/10 05:21 PM)
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tweak tdr
nomad
Registered: 01/25/10
Posts: 20
Last seen: 13 years, 10 months
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Re: awkward sex stories [Re: Deekay]
#12078917 - 02/22/10 05:34 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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so this one time i went to a rave with my friend and this girl that i really like. in the middle of the party my friend said that he was going to pick up his ex gf (cuz we were really close to her distance wise) and left me and my friend at the party. during the party this girl gave me an adderall to keep me awake cuz i wasnt taking anything that night. the party got broken up at like 2 or 3 in the morning so i called my other friend who went to pick up his ex and told him to come get us at the party. we went to a hotel to hang out with a few more ravers and get into some trouble and eventually we left that hotel to go to my friends ex gf's grandparents house to "shower" and catch up on some "sleep" so my friend and his ex took a shower together and went into the other room to "sleep" leaving me with this girl that i really like, needless to say she gave me more adderall. eventually after a little while of talking we decided to take a shower together and get a little freaky. so we jumped in the shower and started hooking up and touching each other, and she started jerking me off and making me feel all good, but for some reason i couldnt get hard. turns out you cant get hard on adderall. at least when this girl and i got back to her house i redeemed myself and fucked the shit out of her 
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You can travel the world
But you can't run away
From the person you are in your heart If you're searchin for truth
You must look in the mirror
And make sense of what you can see
Just be
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens
Registered: 05/21/07
Posts: 15,105
Loc: Out of this world
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
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Re: awkward sex stories [Re: tweak tdr]
#12079170 - 02/22/10 06:21 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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i burped in her mouth while kissing
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Angel_Above
Nobody
Registered: 09/25/08
Posts: 5,348
Last seen: 8 months, 7 days
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My awkward sex story was just found out... TODAY actually.
The incident happened on Friday. I went over to this girl's place and we drank with one of her girl friends. Her friend got shit faced very quickly and ended up leaving early.
I've had sex with this girl before, and I wasn't too worried about it.
While we're getting frisky, we suggested that the blinds should be closed. Her attempt was an utter failure because they were still half open (the vertical blinds, not the horizontal ones) and in my drunken state I said "oh it's fine, it'll just add to the excitement!" sarcastically. We kept at it.
In my defense, it was three in the morning and there no lights on in the room.
So we had sex in a few different positions, for about 3 hours.
After it was all over, I laughed pretty obnoxiously and said "in about 3 hours, this'll be the most watched video YouTube since you didn't shut the blinds." It was a pretty dumb idea because the window is facing the wall to another building with about 100+ windows.
So back to today, the girl I had sex with came up to me today and was like "So... yeah F______ saw us"
F is my RA.
And I guess F had a guy friend over at the time and they were WATCHING IT. Not just looking and saying "ew, ok let's turn away" but they actually watched it. I'm not sure how long she watched, but she told one of my friend's on my floor about it, who ended up telling the girl I had sex with. That's how I know.
F told about 3 people so far.
I saw F yesterday and she gave me a very weak "hi" and walked away. Usually she's a non-stop talker.
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Avid
Registered: 10/14/09
Posts: 1,408
Loc:
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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Re: awkward sex stories [Re: tweak tdr]
#12079613 - 02/22/10 07:43 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
tweak tdr said:
so this one time i went to a rave with my friend and this girl that i really like. in the middle of the party my friend said that he was going to pick up his ex gf (cuz we were really close to her distance wise) and left me and my friend at the party. during the party this girl gave me an adderall to keep me awake cuz i wasnt taking anything that night. the party got broken up at like 2 or 3 in the morning so i called my other friend who went to pick up his ex and told him to come get us at the party. we went to a hotel to hang out with a few more ravers and get into some trouble and eventually we left that hotel to go to my friends ex gf's grandparents house to "shower" and catch up on some "sleep" so my friend and his ex took a shower together and went into the other room to "sleep" leaving me with this girl that i really like, needless to say she gave me more adderall. eventually after a little while of talking we decided to take a shower together and get a little freaky. so we jumped in the shower and started hooking up and touching each other, and she started jerking me off and making me feel all good, but for some reason i couldnt get hard. turns out you cant get hard on adderall. at least when this girl and i got back to her house i redeemed myself and fucked the shit out of her
i actually ate about 60mg of adderall and ended up having the most insane sex of my life... nothing really embarrassing i guess- but we did have to pretty much towel off from the sweat before i took her back to her parents' house (she was still in high school, my freshman year of college).
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i get hard when i paint.
-waka flocka flame
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p4kSouL
Animals Are Cool
Registered: 01/13/05
Posts: 3,666
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Heres a story. I mean ive always been able to get it up. But my problem is prematurely ejaculating.
Anyway thats not the story.
My story is, so I was about 19 years old having sex with 17 year old. I would sneak into her house at night, yeah and sleep there for like 4 hours. Alls we did is like have sex, and drama, and or I dunno. just chill. But I sex A lot, and i dont think her parrents had any idea what was going on. So anyway I usually would just go there, have sex, set a alarm like 4 am so I could drive back home. (15 minutes drive back home). But out of the 8-9 months Ive been rdoing this, It happend to be me and my GF both slept through the alarm clock. The only reason we woke up was because of the sun, and I woke up to my GF going "OH SHIT FUCK". Yeah I couldnt get out of the house, cause my GF room was on the top floor and the only way out of the house, was either the window, or walking through the kitchen where her parrents were making breakfest. Her parrents were up. and I was screwed.
So I decided to go out the window is about 20 foot drop, and would hurt like fuck to jump, plus if I did jump the kitchen window was right under her window, so most likely her parrents would see somethign weird fall from the window. I dunno her dad is a interesting man, dont want to take that choice. But to my luck there was the GUTTER, which was right around the side of the outside of the window. I basically had to hold on the gutter, for a split second, so from there I could hop on the garage roof and from there run and jump a smaller jump on some grass then run to my car and take off. But its just a question if the gutter would go or not. and if I wouldnt slip off the garage.
So I grab the gutter, both of the gutter screwed pop off Im about to fall, jump on the garage. I got to my car, driving away its one of those times where you are terrified but releived at the same time.
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Avid
Registered: 10/14/09
Posts: 1,408
Loc:
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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Re: awkward sex stories [Re: p4kSouL]
#12079790 - 02/22/10 08:07 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
p4kSouL said:
Heres a story. I mean ive always been able to get it up. But my problem is prematurely ejaculating.
Anyway thats not the story.
My story is, so I was about 19 years old having sex with 17 year old. I would sneak into her house at night, yeah and sleep there for like 4 hours. Alls we did is like have sex, and drama, and or I dunno. just chill. But I sex A lot, and i dont think her parrents had any idea what was going on. So anyway I usually would just go there, have sex, set a alarm like 4 am so I could drive back home. (15 minutes drive back home). But out of the 8-9 months Ive been rdoing this, It happend to be me and my GF both slept through the alarm clock. The only reason we woke up was because of the sun, and I woke up to my GF going "OH SHIT FUCK". Yeah I couldnt get out of the house, cause my GF room was on the top floor and the only way out of the house, was either the window, or walking through the kitchen where her parrents were making breakfest. Her parrents were up. and I was screwed.
So I decided to go out the window is about 20 foot drop, and would hurt like fuck to jump, plus if I did jump the kitchen window was right under her window, so most likely her parrents would see somethign weird fall from the window. I dunno her dad is a interesting man, dont want to take that choice. But to my luck there was the GUTTER, which was right around the side of the outside of the window. I basically had to hold on the gutter, for a split second, so from there I could hop on the garage roof and from there run and jump a smaller jump on some grass then run to my car and take off. But its just a question if the gutter would go or not. and if I wouldnt slip off the garage.
So I grab the gutter, both of the gutter screwed pop off Im about to fall, jump on the garage. I got to my car, driving away its one of those times where you are terrified but releived at the same time.
damn son. that's pretty 1337.
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i get hard when i paint.
-waka flocka flame
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Booster
Registered: 06/21/09
Posts: 335
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
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Re: awkward sex stories [Re: Avid]
#12080192 - 02/22/10 08:58 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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Edited by Booster (02/22/10 09:02 PM)
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memes
Blessed
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: awkward sex stories [Re: Booster]
#12080239 - 02/22/10 09:04 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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Ooooh, I forgot I had a funny story.
My first blowjob ever, was also her first blowjob ever. It was absolutely hilarious - she had no idea how much ejaculate to expect. A while in (she was terrible, of course, and unarousing, as a result) a miniscule amount of precum came out and she was like "omg was that it?" After that comment, I decided there was no way in hell I was going to let her know in advance when I was going to bust.
Sure enough, I nutted, she snorted/sneezed/reacted weird, and that shit shot out her nose.
Yep- the Angry Dragon
 
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volcomstoner
I'll have just one more xanax
Registered: 07/20/09
Posts: 11,231
Loc: Minnesnowta
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Re: awkward sex stories [Re: memes]
#12080352 - 02/22/10 09:24 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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The angry dragon on your fist blowjob, Thats fucking awesome
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 HAIL SATAN Vas donc jouer dans le traffic
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Neuron
Tek Savant
Registered: 12/28/08
Posts: 5,778
Loc: @meriKa
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
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Quote:
AcidDropper420 said:
so shroomery. lets hear 'em.
i believe everyone has an awkward sex story, so i'll start.
i was 17 and it was like my 3rd time having sex, i just got a new girlfriend and it was our first time together, i haven't gotten laid in about 8 months and it was a little tough getting it up for some reason. maybe i was just nervous.
but anyways i pretty much wasted the one condom we had, and she put her clothes back on. by now i was mad at myself and wanted to try again. after a about 15 minutes of finger fucking her i slipped my semi-hard, bare cock in her, and fucked for all of 2 minutes
truly fucking uncomfortable. but i can laugh about it now
lets hear yours.
Did this constitute one of your pregnancies?
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/11887928/fpart/1/vc/1
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