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GoshAllMighty
Oh My Gosh!
Registered: 05/02/09
Posts: 837
Loc: °360
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
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-------------------- Perception is delicious.
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens
Registered: 05/21/07
Posts: 15,105
Loc: Out of this world
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
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omg.
nah im good. if blood spurt out my dick i wouldn't expect her to do anything.
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Edited by learningtofly (02/21/10 11:13 AM)
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Aleph1
Dasein
Registered: 09/14/09
Posts: 457
Last seen: 13 years, 10 months
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Eating grapes out of girl's ass for first time, she farted in my face...
-------------------- Who you jivin' with that cosmic debris?
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens
Registered: 05/21/07
Posts: 15,105
Loc: Out of this world
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
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Re: awkward sex stories [Re: Aleph1]
#12070478 - 02/21/10 11:21 AM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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LOL
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NortonStPhallus
Registered: 08/25/09
Posts: 760
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
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Re: awkward sex stories [Re: kanglow]
#12070640 - 02/21/10 12:04 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
kanglow said: performance anxiety?
Some friends and I had taken some molly and were having a great time. My buddy's girlfriend hit the whippit as he left the room to get some water. As he was in the kitchen she grabbed my arm and started saying "Fuck me, fuck me. pleeeeeeeeease fuck me." She was peaking really hard. He came back into the room while all this was going on. He wasn't happy. I just kind of blew it off until a few days later when she invited me over. She said that he wanted to talk to me about something. I figured he just wanted to talk to me about what had happened. When I showed up, he wasn't there... She told me she meant what she had said.... so I fucked her.
Never miss a chance to increase the size of your e-penis.
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The Boat
Stoner with a boner
Registered: 02/20/10
Posts: 1,173
Last seen: 11 years, 1 month
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Quote:
NortonStPhallus said:
Quote:
kanglow said: performance anxiety?
Some friends and I had taken some molly and were having a great time. My buddy's girlfriend hit the whippit as he left the room to get some water. As he was in the kitchen she grabbed my arm and started saying "Fuck me, fuck me. pleeeeeeeeease fuck me." She was peaking really hard. He came back into the room while all this was going on. He wasn't happy. I just kind of blew it off until a few days later when she invited me over. She said that he wanted to talk to me about something. I figured he just wanted to talk to me about what had happened. When I showed up, he wasn't there... She told me she meant what she had said.... so I fucked her.
Never miss a chance to increase the size of your e-penis.
-------------------- 01:21:35 ‹Enlil› I know how to handle the cock
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens
Registered: 05/21/07
Posts: 15,105
Loc: Out of this world
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
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Re: awkward sex stories [Re: The Boat]
#12070730 - 02/21/10 12:23 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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kanglow you got herpes, congrats. any person that just tells people to fuck them randomly prolly has the herpes.
so if its true: u have herpes if its false: u have herpes on principle.
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Aleph1
Dasein
Registered: 09/14/09
Posts: 457
Last seen: 13 years, 10 months
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Re: awkward sex stories [Re: The Boat]
#12070752 - 02/21/10 12:27 PM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
The Boat said:
Quote:
NortonStPhallus said:
Quote:
kanglow said: performance anxiety?
Some friends and I had taken some molly and were having a great time. My buddy's girlfriend hit the whippit as he left the room to get some water. As he was in the kitchen she grabbed my arm and started saying "Fuck me, fuck me. pleeeeeeeeease fuck me." She was peaking really hard. He came back into the room while all this was going on. He wasn't happy. I just kind of blew it off until a few days later when she invited me over. She said that he wanted to talk to me about something. I figured he just wanted to talk to me about what had happened. When I showed up, he wasn't there... She told me she meant what she had said.... so I fucked her.
Never miss a chance to increase the size of your e-penis.
-------------------- Who you jivin' with that cosmic debris?
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starfire_xes
I Am 'They'
Registered: 10/24/09
Posts: 21,590
Loc: Dallas with all the assho...
Last seen: 8 months, 30 days
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The best one I have is about a guy I worked with in the Navy. In Singapore we were sitiing at this cafe drinking beers and this black guy we worked with picked up this 'girl' we told him to was a tranny he said na, its a fine bitch. So he left with 'her' about 15 minutes later he comes back mumbling, 'Someone give me a fucking beer. Mother fucker had a dick bigger than mine...' Apparantley he was getting a BJ and when he lsooked down the 'girl' was beating off.
-------------------- [/url][/url] IF THE NEIGHBORS COMPLAIN BECAUSE THE MUSIC'S TOO LOUD, TURN IT UP SO YOU CAN'T HEAR THEM BITCH
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Aleph1
Dasein
Registered: 09/14/09
Posts: 457
Last seen: 13 years, 10 months
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Quote:
starfire_xes said: The best one I have is about a guy I worked with in the Navy. In Singapore we were sitiing at this cafe drinking beers and this black guy we worked with picked up this 'girl' we told him to was a tranny he said na, its a fine bitch. So he left with 'her' about 15 minutes later he comes back mumbling, 'Someone give me a fucking beer. Mother fucker had a dick bigger than mine...' Apparantley he was getting a BJ and when he lsooked down the 'girl' was beating off.
hot as shit. I think its a big turn off for the girls when they pretend they got tricked.
-------------------- Who you jivin' with that cosmic debris?
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Penguarky Tunguin
f n o r d
Registered: 08/08/04
Posts: 17,192
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Quote:
starfire_xes said: The best one I have is about a guy I worked with in the Navy. In Singapore we were sitiing at this cafe drinking beers and this black guy we worked with picked up this 'girl' we told him to was a tranny he said na, its a fine bitch. So he left with 'her' about 15 minutes later he comes back mumbling, 'Someone give me a fucking beer. Mother fucker had a dick bigger than mine...' Apparantley he was getting a BJ and when he lsooked down the 'girl' was beating off.
-------------------- Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.
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citricacidx
FunGuy
Registered: 07/23/07
Posts: 9,027
Loc: GA
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
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First time havin sex with my ex-gf, we were in here parents basement (this was back in high school). Her little brother was in the next room on the computer. We had the tv on the make some noise. We were goin at it for a little bit, I was sitting on the couch and she was sitting on me facing me. All of a sudden she looks up, jumps off me, and throw a couch pillow in my lap. I looked over, and her little brother was standing there eyes glued to the tv.
Thank god for tv.
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chamberlaindavidd
Registered: 07/26/09
Posts: 1,272
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
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Quote:
ModularMind said:
Quote:
chamberlaindavidd said: Having sex with girlfriend for first time after months of build while on a road trip in a little hotel we finish are first bout of earth shattering sex only relies at some point the condom had fallen off. Well the search began and instead of the missing rubber we found a blood(PMS style) stain on the sheet's. We both pretended we didn't know where that condom was and kept looking for it long after we both reliesd it was lost inside her. Finally she excused herself to go PEE and came back beat red with the most embarrassed look on her face. We both BUSTED up with out saying a word.
That is a tight story!
Lol. Would've been better if she hadn't gotten pregnant.
-------------------- Thank you but im well aware that my spelling and grammar sucks! I apologize for that fact now please GET THE FUCK OVER IT! Thank you. ~David~
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Infirno112
Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 603
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
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lmfao. touche sir. ^
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igwna
The Cap'n
Registered: 06/19/07
Posts: 8,016
Loc: New England, USA
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
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Quote:
learningtofly said: kanglow you got herpes, congrats. any person that just tells people to fuck them randomly prolly has the herpes.
so if its true: u have herpes if its false: u have herpes on principle.
i love your reasoning
-------------------- I don't believe in cops, bosses, or politicians. Some call that anarchism. I call it having a fucking heart that beats.
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AcidDropper420
I'm from Canada,eh?
Registered: 07/02/09
Posts: 3,356
Loc: British Columbia
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Quote:
GoshAllMighty said: On New Years day around 6am I was trying to join in a MMF threesome but I was too high on meth(their meth) and couldn't get my dick hard. After an hour of jerking a cold shrivled erasure in front of strangers I had met on a few hours ago off craigslist they decided to leave. I couldn't get it hard for the whole day. Don't do meth.
I made a thread about if you want the full story.
that thread was LOL in the purest form
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NetDiver
Wandering Mindfuck
Registered: 08/24/09
Posts: 6,024
Loc: Everywhere and Nowhere
Last seen: 1 year, 8 months
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My worst one:
I was having sex with my girlfriend at my parents house, and she was dressed in a Japanese schoolgirl uniform. My dad walks in without knocking. All he says is "ah, shit!" then walks away. He never brought it up again.
Edited by NetDiver (02/22/10 09:00 AM)
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TTT
Cultivate the inside
Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 4,340
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I was giving my bf head in the bathroom after we snorted some oxy. I thought we locked the door but I guess we didn't.....cause right towards the very end his friend opens the door saying something about needing the counter looks at him, then me and says "Ya'll really need to lock the door" in a super hick accent (his natural one) and closes the door.
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens
Registered: 05/21/07
Posts: 15,105
Loc: Out of this world
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
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Re: awkward sex stories [Re: TTT]
#12076046 - 02/22/10 09:43 AM (14 years, 1 month ago) |
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We were taking a shower together in the dorms last night and since the stalls are somewhat small we couldn't find the right angle 2 bone properly so we were struggling for like 5min to get it in.
Gave up.
Regular shower =/
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memes
Blessed
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Quote:
learningtofly said: We were taking a shower together in the dorms last night and since the stalls are somewhat small we couldn't find the right angle 2 bone properly so we were struggling for like 5min to get it in.
Gave up.
Regular shower =/
You need some upper body strength. Lock her knees into yer elbows (facing each other, obviously) and use your legs to spring up/down for the necessary motion.
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