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Anonymous #1
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My struggle.
#12061102 - 02/19/10 05:08 PM (13 years, 11 months ago) |
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I have always been intelligent. Always. I learned to read way before my peers. I was reading at a third grade level before I even started kindergarten. My teachers always told me I was destined for great things...and I believed I was. Up through elementary school, I was the most intelligent student in the school. I scored perfect on a state test (one of only 2 people that year), and was always in the accelerated programs.
Starting in about 5th grade...I started thinking for myself. I saw things nobody else saw. I knew all about the political system...I saw the things it was doing to my friends around me who were a bit more slow. I started to withdraw from school...I never understood why I had to do homework, when that was all just preparation for tests that I could get perfect scores on without even cracking the book. I paid attention in school for the most part, but I never had to take notes. I knew that, but the teachers could never understand that I didn't NEED to do those things.
Middle school started, and I really rebelled. It seemed like everyone around me was just following the herd. Obeying the rules. Fitting in. I was too smart for all of this...I didn't even want to finish school, because I knew I could go out and get a job at any point with nothing but my mind. I was in trouble constantly, always getting thrown out of school. I had to lower myself to the level of the people around me...nobody could keep up with me, and in order to relate and make friends, I had to play dumb.
This lasted throughout high school. I spent more time out of school than in school. I started hanging out with other people who were like me - rebels. Free thinkers. I wasn't about to let ANYONE tell me what to do. I am my own man, and don't need anyones help with anything. I struggled my way through, summer school every year. I finally graduated.
Now, I sit here...almost 20 years old. I have become so used to lowering myself to everyone elses level, it is almost what I have become. I can't stand the thought of having a normal job. Paying taxes that will go to things that I couldn't care less about. Paying into a system that couldn't give a fuck less about me. I could go to college...I could do the work. But I won't. I'll sit here, and waste away my hours working a job that I hate that pays minimum wage.
I'll never be like them. I can tell. I can't let myself do that. I have to be this way...I don't know who I am proving a point to anymore. Maybe just myself.
I just don't know.
Is anyone else in a similar situation?
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Anonymous #2
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Yea, but I'm not a whiney bitch so i can't sympathise with ya.
Sorry cry-baby.
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
Anonymous #2 said: Yea, but I'm not a whiney bitch so i can't sympathise with ya.
Sorry cry-baby.
I'm hardly whining about my situation.
Just looking for someone to relate :/
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Anonymous #3
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Yeah. That sounds like being 20. Man up. Do whatever it is your going to do.
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Anonymous #2
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Sorry I didn't read it. I saw the title and assumer you were bitching.
That's the problem with smart people; most seem to think they are higher above everyone else.
I used to be like this. I'd look at something, realize things I thought other people didn't, then I'd look down on them. Then I realized that most people are not that stupid, and people are just who they are, regardless of their intelligence. I respect everyone I meet, and hold a high prejudice for every new stranger I encounter; that they are as smart as me. Nothing's worse then making yourself look like a douche bag by trying to act smart in front of an actual smart person.
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Anonymous #4
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Being smart is not an excuse for laziness.
If you are truly as smart as you say you are, then you will find a way to beat the system....not find a way to let it beat you. Stop being so concerned with the way other people run their lives, and figure out what you want to do with yours. You only got one chance to shine in this life, don't throw it away.
If you are smart....you should go to college man. Get a degree in something that will make you some money. I was like you. In fact, my high school class voted me "Most Likely To Be the Next Einstein". I've struggled in college because I had terrible study habits in high school. Like you said, I never took notes, barely put any effort into homework...and I passed high school with flying colors. I'm 23 now and finally about to graduate college, but i'm graduating with 2.7 GPA....but I'm a smart motha fucka, and I got a degree in engineering.
I know what you mean about the system, the government, etc. Fuck the system. Do what you want. You know what I am going to do? I am going to use my degree in engineering to make some fat money for a few years, live frugally, and then I'm going to take off. I'm going to find myself a hot girlfriend and travel around the world, doing whatever the fuck I want.
If you're smart, you'll find a way to live your dreams.
Otherwise, you're just wasting away waiting to die.
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Anonymous #5
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said: I have always been intelligent. Always. I learned to read way before my peers. I was reading at a third grade level before I even started kindergarten. My teachers always told me I was destined for great things...and I believed I was. Up through elementary school, I was the most intelligent student in the school. I scored perfect on a state test (one of only 2 people that year), and was always in the accelerated programs.
Starting in about 5th grade...I started thinking for myself. I saw things nobody else saw. I knew all about the political system...I saw the things it was doing to my friends around me who were a bit more slow. I started to withdraw from school...I never understood why I had to do homework, when that was all just preparation for tests that I could get perfect scores on without even cracking the book. I paid attention in school for the most part, but I never had to take notes. I knew that, but the teachers could never understand that I didn't NEED to do those things.
Middle school started, and I really rebelled. It seemed like everyone around me was just following the herd. Obeying the rules. Fitting in. I was too smart for all of this...I didn't even want to finish school, because I knew I could go out and get a job at any point with nothing but my mind. I was in trouble constantly, always getting thrown out of school. I had to lower myself to the level of the people around me...nobody could keep up with me, and in order to relate and make friends, I had to play dumb.
This lasted throughout high school. I spent more time out of school than in school. I started hanging out with other people who were like me - rebels. Free thinkers. I wasn't about to let ANYONE tell me what to do. I am my own man, and don't need anyones help with anything. I struggled my way through, summer school every year. I finally graduated.
Now, I sit here...almost 20 years old. I have become so used to lowering myself to everyone elses level, it is almost what I have become. I can't stand the thought of having a normal job. Paying taxes that will go to things that I couldn't care less about. Paying into a system that couldn't give a fuck less about me. I could go to college...I could do the work. But I won't. I'll sit here, and waste away my hours working a job that I hate that pays minimum wage.
I'll never be like them. I can tell. I can't let myself do that. I have to be this way...I don't know who I am proving a point to anymore. Maybe just myself.
I just don't know.
Is anyone else in a similar situation?
This is avery common thing IMO, i was in an accelerated class for most of my secondary school life. Most of us were in the same class all through high school. And most of us slacked off to a massive degree towards the end of our secondary school education. Our last two years of high school were a waste, we could've done apprenticeships over that time, or university preperation - and developed 'real' skills, but instead did the same crap we did previous years that was just a bit harder...
And from that class only a couple i can confidently say have achieved some high level standard at university or tertiary study or in their workplace. The rest of us, most with at least an undergraduate degree, are working shithouse jobs that do not utilize any of our skills or intelligence. We had no direction, no idea what the fuck we wanted to do, and a high deal of apathy. Some of us, me included, are only now giving things ago no matter the outcome to find our purpose. Oh to be poor graduates job hopping... not good for the CV, but we're an indecisive bunch.
However some of the underachievers at high school, did exceptionally well post school, successful tradesmen and engineering grads etc, and have great careers ahead of them.
Now i feel academic intelligence is such a small part of being successful, and early high levels of achievement do not necessarily translate to the same later in life. Intelligence has more areas than academic, and besides you don't have to be academically intelligent to work out what will make you happy.
I reccommend taking some risks (it is wise to save money from whatever your doing to cover yourself for a few months if you do need a change) to find what it is you want, i'm still searching, but i have a fairly good idea what i want to do which requires me to work something shitty, save, so i can then invest in my future, and make the most important investment any man should make... that is to invest in myself, make my life about me, instead of being a dupe for someone else.
I'm 24, and have given so many things a go, you're almost 20, you have plenty of time.
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Anonymous #1
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Good point! 
I know 20 is always a tough age for everyone...its make it or break it, you know?
I guess I could give college a shot. I want to do something I enjoy...but unfortunately, most of what I'm good at is fucking illegal. Street art, growing things, mycology, brewing.
Someday, I'd like to own my own bar I guess. Maybe a brewery. I guess I could work at some bullshit job for a little while until I could make enough paper to do that.
Thanks, that gave me something to think on for sure. I just can't toil away for the rest of my life. I want to do what I fucking want to do.
Thank you too, number five!
I just knew I could find someone who would understand here.
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Anonymous #6
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Keep in mind that you cannot experience other's minds. Feeling "special and different" is a consequence: "I realized this, I think that", always forgetting that many people around you are thinking at the same time.
If we look very closely, we are all the same. And if we look from a faraway place, we are also all the same. We only look different from one another from our human perspective, in a human-sized world.
In the end, if you see life as a struggle or a competition, we could say that you had a good start. But now you're way behind... and still didn't realize you are completely part of the herd, clinging to the past.
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Anonymous #7
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Dude every word you wrote could of been from my own life. I dunno what to tell you.. I just turned 25 and I work at fucking Walmart.
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Anonymous #5
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said: Good point! 
I know 20 is always a tough age for everyone...its make it or break it, you know?
I guess I could give college a shot. I want to do something I enjoy...but unfortunately, most of what I'm good at is fucking illegal. Street art, growing things, mycology, brewing.
Someday, I'd like to own my own bar I guess. Maybe a brewery. I guess I could work at some bullshit job for a little while until I could make enough paper to do that.
Thanks, that gave me something to think on for sure. I just can't toil away for the rest of my life. I want to do what I fucking want to do.
Thank you too, number five!
I just knew I could find someone who would understand here.
zactly, a small brewery is not hard to set up ( you can do a decent one in your own garage), save up some money from a bullshit job, get a loan and study the skills you need in your own time, get some equipment and licenses etc with that loan (make a decent deposit though, interest fucks a lot of people over, do your math first), keep working that bullshit job pay off as much as you can, get brewing on weekends or whatever days off you have. It will be hard work doing both and will take a while, but eventually you'll aquire the skills and develop the recipes/tastes you want to market. be bold, be aggressive and market the shit out of your limited product when you can. Sell, grow, and you could have a nice boutique brewery within a year or two that could grow to be massive in 20 years time.
Just a suggestion anywho. Keep in mind, we have a lot more opportunity to be who we really are than our forefathers did.
edit: Business is risky, but dreams are allowed, and its horrible to be left wondering 'what if.'
Edited by Anonymous (02/19/10 06:32 PM)
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Anonymous #4
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Quote:
I want to do something I enjoy...but unfortunately, most of what I'm good at is fucking illegal. Street art, growing things, mycology, brewing.
Someday, I'd like to own my own bar I guess. Maybe a brewery. I guess I could work at some bullshit job for a little while until I could make enough paper to do that.
Dude there are some brew trade schools that exist. I know my friend is planning on going to one in Oregon. You should seriously look into that, beer is fucking delicious and you know people will always want to drink it.
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Anonymous #8
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Smartest kid in Grade 5
Congrats, LoL
If you move out from the safety net that is your parents maybe it'll force you to apply yourself - or you could just keep telling people you were the smartest kid in your grade 5 class and see how far that gets you
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Anonymous #9
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We've all been through the " I'm smarter than everyone" phase. Best thing you can do is get over it. You are not special or unique. You over value yourself and the end result is an inflated ego.
It's fun to sit around and think of the reasons that you are better than everyone. But eventually you'll realize it's gotten you nowhere. Somewhere in your mid 20s you'll start to learn a little humility. If you are truly as smart as you seem to think you are you will stop looking for validation and opportunities to tell people how smart you are and get over yourself.
hope this helps with your "problem"
Douchebag...
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Anonymous #4
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Intelligence does not equal wisdom.
It takes a long long time for some people to realize this. People have always said I'm intelligent...but I think thats a crock of shit. I know so many more intelligent people then me.
But wisdom, I've got that in abundance.
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Anonymous #1
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Lol, you guys who are calling me arrogant and ego filled are full of shit.
I might have come off like that in this thread...but I'm really not. I'd never say any of this, in real life. I'm humble as fuck.
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Anonymous #5
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Quote:
Anonymous #9 said: We've all been through the " I'm smarter than everyone" phase. Best thing you can do is get over it. You are not special or unique. You over value yourself and the end result is an inflated ego.
It's fun to sit around and think of the reasons that you are better than everyone. But eventually you'll realize it's gotten you nowhere. Somewhere in your mid 20s you'll start to learn a little humility. If you are truly as smart as you seem to think you are you will stop looking for validation and opportunities to tell people how smart you are and get over yourself.
hope this helps with your "problem"
Douchebag...
This is all fairly well true, humility is an important lesson as well and you'll be reminded of this lots at this stage of your life if you actually go out there and do something. Heck i've served alcohol to succesful people i knew at school, even knocked on doors of their houses as a salesman. I also knocked on doors of people who have amounted to even less than i have. Sucked, but hell its all the experience and character building.
You are no better than anyone else IMO, but you may be excellent at, have a passion for, or enjoy something that few others do, and i'm guessing you're not sure what that could be, could be many things that might even fit into that category.
There are many way to operate your life. Many hate their high-paying jobs, but the pay is worth it because they can do what they want to with the money outside of work. Others would rather be happy at work, earn less and sacrifice otherwise meaningless extravagance. I think life is short and you might as well do what fits you best, even if you have to be pissed off for a while to make it reality. For some, having kids and being able to support them whichever way is balancing enough (as boring or as sucky as work may be)
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Anonymous #4
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Meh...I honestly don't care how arrogant or egotistical someone is. What I care about is: are you thoughtful and respectful?
Theres nothing wrong with a bit of arrogance or egoism. If you have healthy self-esteem, and know what your strengths are, then you are bound to be a little arrogant about it. I think thats ok.
Of course a healthy amount of humility is a good thing too. Gotta find the BALANCE ya know.
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Anonymous #7
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I just don't understand why I'm so apathetic. As #5 wrote: "We had no direction, no idea what the fuck we wanted to do, and a high deal of apathy." That was and is me to a tee.
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Anonymous #10
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in real life. I'm humble as fuck.
If you actually believe half of the shit you write there is no way you can be that humble. Man up and do something. Passing tests in school is nothing and nobody cares about that shit. It has never made people smart it only means you are good at taking tests.
People who do things in smart ways are smart. People who pass tests and think that makes them smart are children. Its understandable, it really is, but the sooner you realize your self-serving pretension the sooner you might actually do something and forget the need to prove to yourself or others that you have a grain of intelligence.
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