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Invisibleykk
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Registered: 04/06/00
Posts: 104
Re: I'm gonna be test-subject in psilocybin-research! [Re: valour]
    #1213902 - 01/13/03 07:17 AM (21 years, 6 months ago)

dear folks of the shroomery,
here goes:
my first date was set last thursday, at 8.30 in the morn. wednesday evening i didn't feel good. i'm sure it had something to do with the nervousness that definitely was there, plus a common cold. i was about to blow the date off and reschedule, but opted for drinking a cold remedy and going to bed.
6.30am i got up, quite early for me. i still had a runny nose and whatnot, but felt better. i packed my backpack with cds, headphones, 2 books and my "trip-stone" (personal trip-guide-thingy).
the experiment is being conducted by the psychology-department and is set in a building at the psychiatric university-clinic. i arrived a little early and ate a LITTLE bit at the cafeteria, which was almost empty at that time.
from 8.30 till 10 i had to fill out surveys on how i felt. on nervous i put a 4 out of 5. it wasn't fear mind you, but respect for what was about to come. i was actually pretty sure i would get the placebo the first time, cause a girl i talked to who had just done the tests told me she got the placebo/middle/hard order. i also had to do the 1. round of tests once.
i can now elaborate on the tests:

1. these lcd-goggles were flickering at a very fast rate, while the computer flashed horizontal and vertical white lines in a circle one after the other real fast. this had the effect that i would see the horizontal lines with my right eye and the vertical ones with my left, but so fast that i would actually see both. however the brain "decides" what it wants to concentrate on, so i would see more horizontal lines and suddenly the vertical ones were dominant. they want to figure out if the brain does this randomly or if it has a pattern it follows. and if that rhythm changes with psilocybin.

2. a computer-animation of a ball made out of floating pixels, so you can actually see thru the rotating ball. the brain switched every 5 seconds or so and would make it look as if the ball started rotating in the other direction.

3. bunch of black squares on the screen and i had to remember the order of their blinking. up to nine.

4. i got to push a button as fast as i could, then once every guessed second, then once every 4. measured the accuracy. oh, and also tapping my "personal rhythm".

5. the last test was by some german scientists. damn it sucked, you just knew that these guys have never tripped before. i put on headphones and it would go *beeeeeeeeeeeeep*, like for 5 seks, then another beep would start which i could stop and had to make the same length of the one i just heard. this monotonous sound is funny only for so long. more of that later.

my "trip-guide", so to speak, was a nice girl from australia, who worked on the study. i really felt comfortable around her. it was her who, at 10am, gave my a little envelope with 8 tiny capsules in it.

TO BE CONTINUED...real soon actually. might smoke a little something then i'm back. oh, and please do tell: do you appreciate the details of am i going way overboard here?



ykk
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OfflineLearyfanS
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Re: I'm gonna be test-subject in psilocybin-research! [Re: ykk]
    #1213930 - 01/13/03 07:27 AM (21 years, 6 months ago)

We like the details.

Send us there.



--------------------
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OfflineAnnom
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Re: I'm gonna be test-subject in psilocybin-research! [Re: Learyfan]
    #1213939 - 01/13/03 07:30 AM (21 years, 6 months ago)

Yes, we like the details..... come back!!!!!  :smirk:

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Offlinemix_up
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Re: I'm gonna be test-subject in psilocybin-research! [Re: ykk]
    #1213951 - 01/13/03 07:36 AM (21 years, 6 months ago)

Theres no way you would not know whether you had a placebo or psilocybin.  Its not like a small undefinable feeling - but I guess you'll find out. :wink: 

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Invisibleykk
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Re: I'm gonna be test-subject in psilocybin-research! [Re: mix_up]
    #1214540 - 01/13/03 11:33 AM (21 years, 6 months ago)

so, where was i?

oh yes, i just got my envelope. well, at this point i was still convinced i would get my placebo and was ready for a pretty unspectacular day. how wrong i was i would soon find out. i looked at those 8 small capsules laying in front of me (it's always 8 for some reason i couldn't understand. even at the high dosage only about 5 contain the psilocybin). i noticed that some contained really white powder, while others where slightly off. "uh-oh," i thought, "there is no real reason they'd have different colored placebos, is there?" it was just about then when i realized i had to discard the placebo-mentality.

down the hatch they went. now THAT decision was finally over with. i put on some tibetan-buddhist music, really calming, and layed on the bed. lotsa pillows. real comfy. i started reading a book with assorted buddhist wisdom and waited for things to happen.

which turned out to not take long at all. within about 20 mins i had to lay down the book, cause things started to become fast. i was coming up. a really cool guy there had a good analogy for that phase. he said it was like getting thru customs to fly to your holiday-destination. before you can enjoy you have to go thru all this hassle.
i got a little disoriented. kinda like being drunk but wide awake. i couldn't focus on one thing for too long. oh, and i i yawned. i do that alot when coming up, it's like i wake up from the deep slumber i've been in for so long. anyway, this time it was an insane amount of yawning. my eyes got all watery and tears actually rolled down my cheek. that's alot of yawning folks.
also, every muscle in my body stretched. it wasn't unpleasant, really.

i still layed on the bed and stared at the white wall in front of me. i saw geometric patterns, but at the same time, i did not. it was as if they were painted in white on white. yet slightly glowing. i turned around and starred at the wall directly in front of me. same slightly pinkish patterns and there seemed to be some alien symbols in between "lines", which i couldn't really focus on.

my trip-guide gave me another one of those "howdoyoudo"-surveys. she was australian and couldn't really read it to me so i tried and managed at the beginning, but on page 2 things really seemed to start rolling, it was hard to make out which word corresponds with which boxes. my checkmarks started getting huge and i still couldn't hit the right box. i somehow manage to stumble thru that task.

i was then asked whether i would be able to do the first series of tests. and i was actually quite happy that i got something to do. i was, well, rolling, just floating along with the trip, and being so caught up in what's happening that i never got the time to ask myself questions like "what am i doing here?" and "is that right?", and i knew that this was good. so i was happy to get myself all tangled up with them funny experiments.

i put on the goggles and looked around me, it's all flashy because of the frequency, kinda disorienting. so i looked at the circle with the white lines. it's as if i stared into a hole in the screen. and way way back in the monitor somewhere are those lines. with a nice aura around them might i add. i had a hard time deciding when to push which button, but then again, i had every right to be confused, eh? just when that got boring i was done and got to put down the goggles. i became quite talkative, asked her all about their work and believes and whatnot.

oh, the ball animation treated me right. first of all it's confusing in a good way to have the ball change rotating-directions in front of you, while the animation itself doesn't change at all. trying to follow each pixel on its own didn't help either. eh. but thanks to psilocybin, this ball animation started to  "breath", it kept getting smaller and bigger as if it was alive. i was stoked about this and had to ask my trip-guide twice if she was sure that she didn't see this.

i was so easily distracted by everything. they had nature-posters on the walls, which suddenly became really full contrast and looked really alive. really intense colors. a good example of my attention-span would be when i got quite thirsty in between tests and grabbed my cup, noticed that it was empty, got up, somehow floated to the other end of the room (the body-effects had ceased by then, i felt really light, relieved), picked up the bottle, poured me a cup, got lost in the sparkling, put the cup down and close the bottle, all proud that i stopped pouring in time, get back on my seat and completely forget about the cup without having taken a sip  :grin:

*okay, gonna take a little break here. will get back to writing in a couple'o'mins.*

still coming up:
the memory test!
the german sound test!
ykk takes a trip outside and meets people and forces! :wink: 

Edited by ykk (01/13/03 11:34 AM)

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Offlineroygbiv
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Re: I'm gonna be test-subject in psilocybin-research! [Re: ykk]
    #1214599 - 01/13/03 12:01 PM (21 years, 6 months ago)

do you think/know if the capsules were synthesized or not? just curious... i too get the yawns, about halfway thru them tho i start to wonder if im done yawning or not... its a weird sensation happens every time i trip along with the musclestretching... and i for one (as im sure everyone else does) really admire and appreciate the detail and thoroughness that yr showing in transcribing this experience... THANKS!

roy

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Invisibleykk
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Registered: 04/06/00
Posts: 104
Re: I'm gonna be test-subject in psilocybin-research! [Re: roygbiv]
    #1214737 - 01/13/03 12:50 PM (21 years, 6 months ago)

yes, i was told that this was in fact synthesized psilocybin. i'll still have to get the exact dosage they were giving me per kg bodyweight.

>and i for one (as im sure everyone else does) really admire and appreciate the >detail and thoroughness that yr showing in transcribing this experience... >THANKS!

you bet. and here we go again:

the memory test was really hard. i kept forgetting that i was supposed to remember the order in which these squares were blinking and just watched in utter amazement how them black squares kept changing size. whenever i remembered my task i wasn't too bad though. i could "connect" the blinking squares with a glowing line, which would stay for a while and i could just follow that line again. eh, i kept asking my self if that was considered cheating :grin:
as soon as my attention was drawn upon things like the plant in the room it was gone just like that.

when i had to do the rhythms i did quite well up to 2 seconds, after that i kept missing. my trip-guide told me that this was some kind of phenomenon, the brain has like a 2 second time-span of the perception of now, and then another 2 seconds now and so on and this is why it's alot harder to guess time anything over 2 secs. it was interesting though how i know was completely able to multitask. i was totally concentrated on the experiment and did my very best, while at the same time i was thinking various things real fast in some idle part  of my brain. my "personal rhythm" (i can choose the pace myself) got faster.

i was tripping quite strong. i was there, doing the experiments, but my mind floated around everywhere. till it was time for the german sound test. musta been straight from the lab. i already described the test, but you gotta know that this beep was this really annoying computer beep, that kept ringing real loud. i must admit it grabbed my attention, but not in a good way. every beep i had to duplicate was 2-9 seconds. 9 seconds people! that's a long-ass beep when time doesn't pass as fast as it used to. the first 10 or so i did good. after the 20th i was ready to put down those headphones. well, to make a LONG story short, there were 50 beeps. i was to nice to put the headphones down. but instead of being annoyed and bummed, i was annoyed and UTTERLY BEMUSED. you see, this test seemed so absolutely absurd that i just had to giggle at every beep and was like "you kidding me? another one? what the? okay, done? this is unbelie...another one?!" it was so funny while i was actually annoyed, weird mix-up of emotions. i just kept imagining these german scientists that got the chance to get data from an altered subject and so completely fucked up because they didn't KNOW what it meant to be ALTERED. anyway, i told my trip-guide and it turns out that everybody who took the test said the same thing and that she'll have a talk with certain people. brought a smile to my face, imagining how my trip-guide will give those white coats shit for fucking with me :grin:

my blood-pressure was taken several times during the experiment. blood pressure went up during the influence, which happens to everyone. anyway, you know how they bump up this thing around your arm real tight. it's quite an interesting sensation, especially if you don't really identify this arm with something that belongs to you. eh.

the bathroom was down the hall. when i went there some people from indonesia(?) were fixing the light in the hallway and talking. i listened thru the door to their talking and it sounded as if they would sing me a song. beautiful language!

i watched out the window and like a little child got curios about what's out there, yet a little unsure whether i should go among people or stay in the save haven. after some pondering i proudly announced "i wanna go outside."
and the tale about what happened when the alien left the motherhip, tomorrow you will hear.

watcha think so far?

ykk 

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InvisibleYoung_but_cool
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Re: I'm gonna be test-subject in psilocybin-research! [Re: ykk]
    #1214746 - 01/13/03 12:53 PM (21 years, 6 months ago)

I?ll just have to take a closer look at those black boards then :grin: 

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Offlinenoth1ng
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Re: I'm gonna be test-subject in psilocybin-research! [Re: ykk]
    #1214788 - 01/13/03 01:12 PM (21 years, 6 months ago)

lucky bastard...i dunno if i could handle something like that though..scientists..ew
-

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OfflineISH
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Re: I'm gonna be test-subject in psilocybin-research! [Re: noth1ng]
    #1215042 - 01/13/03 02:40 PM (21 years, 6 months ago)

Way to go, That's something I always wanted to do.

How much did you get paid for doing this?


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Join The Shroomery Folding @ Home Team!



I think of going to the grave without having a psychedelic experience, like going to the grave without having sex. It means that you never figured out what it was all about. The mystery is in the body, and the way the body works itself into nature.
- Terence McKenna, Archaic Revival

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OfflineTekNut
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Re: I'm gonna be test-subject in psilocybin-research! [Re: ISH]
    #1215896 - 01/13/03 07:17 PM (21 years, 6 months ago)

Wow, incredible thread!  Very interesting subject.  Sounds like fun to me!

Can't wait for the next episode!  :laugh:

Peace,
-MKP- 

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OfflinedoCtR_diSCreeT
DoctR g0nEMaAd...

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Re: I'm gonna be test-subject in psilocybin-research! [Re: ykk]
    #1216305 - 01/14/03 01:52 AM (21 years, 6 months ago)

You have so completely drawn my attention to this thread!  I'll 2nd that great thread comment above.  I will wait eagerly for tomarrow's outside extravaganza...!  :grin: :smile: :cool: :laugh: :wink: 


--------------------


Peace!

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Offlineroygbiv
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Re: I'm gonna be test-subject in psilocybin-research! [Re: ykk]
    #1217021 - 01/14/03 06:44 AM (21 years, 6 months ago)

....well done... cant wait for the finale!...

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OfflineAnnom
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Re: I'm gonna be test-subject in psilocybin-research! [Re: roygbiv]
    #1217312 - 01/14/03 08:44 AM (21 years, 6 months ago)

:smile: :smile: :smile: :smile: :smile:

Can't wait for the next episode........! :cool: 

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Anonymous

Post deleted by Anno [Re: ykk]
    #1219814 - 01/15/03 02:58 AM (21 years, 6 months ago)


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Invisibleykk
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Re: I'm gonna be test-subject in psilocybin-research! [Re: ]
    #1223832 - 01/16/03 12:05 PM (21 years, 6 months ago)

ahoi.
took me some time to get back on el machine, you know how it goes. but alas, i'm here and shall commence with typing up what i remember about the great outdoors:

i grabbed my jacket, scarf and cap, for it was cold outside. i had a great little time putting on each of that article. on our way down the hall we passed by several people who were obviously not part of the experiment. i felt save, yet tried to avoid eye contact as much as possible, cause my pupils were basically taking up all the space, making me look as alienated as i was. when i arrived in the morning it was damn cold. now it was the same temperature (my trip-guide was freezing), but my perception changed in a way that made my reality a brisk and refreshing one. i enjoyed taking deep breaths of that delicious air. as outkast would say: so fresh, so clean. we quickly left the "campus" and walked towards the nearby forest. there was a field on the right side of the path with a couple of trees. i admired the scenery when i suddenly realized that to my amazement there were people on the trees, cutting down branches. as we walked right past a worker up in the tree i pondered why they were doing that, and before i knew it i had turned around and asked up the tree: "excuse me, i was wondering if these trees are sick or if what you are doing is normal winter-procedure". at first the guy was kinda confused to be confronted with this question, but after a few seconds his face lit up and he was more than happy to tell me about how this would actually help the trees get thru the winter. i was happy, he was happy and my australian trip-guide didn't know what to make of it all since she couldn't understand a word we were saying. must have been an awkward position to be in, knowing i'm tripping hard and not knowing if i was just getting myself into some trouble. eh, had me smile.

i admired the snow for quite some time. all the while my trip-guide was just waiting patiently next to me, like a guardian angel. i thought that was pretty cool of her. anyway, most of you probably have seen snow with enhanced vision. all these various crystalline structures, breathtaking. they say that there has never been a same-lookin snowflake twice in all of history. is that true?

anyway, colors were really intense. when i saw a brown leaf on some white snow with some green spots every now and again, i wouldn't go "oh, a brown leaf. on some half-assed snow." nope, i would melt away the borders between that leaf and its surroundings and saw the composition of it all together, making it a work of art.

right next to the forest there was a huge compost-pile with about 20 black crows just sitting on it. i could actually see a blue shimmer in their black feathers. when i approached, all of them flew away in one swoop, all except for a brown bird i didn't see before. this was one of the most beautiful moments in this trip: there were orange peels on the compost, which really stood out (i thought you weren't supposed to put orange peels in the compost, but eh). but i was blown away when i realized that these peels were composing a perfect half circle and in the middle of it -you guessed it- the brown bird, eyeing me curiously just as i was the bird. i remembered again why i honor that state of mind so much: getting flooded with abundant beauty, letting it break down the barriers between me and the world and bringing a tear of joy to me ole eye, all by watching an ordinary compost-pile. beauty really IS in everything if you look hard enough. this is why i believe that state of mind is truly sacred. or the shizznidelbingbang, for that matter.

as we walked up a little hill there was this huge tree that fell, like with roots and a good part of the hill itself now being more vertical than horizontal. i looked at the majestic roots and the stones they were still holding and contemplated. suddenly i giggled, turned to my trip-guide and said: "you know, i'm really trying hard to find some kind of big hidden meaning in this, but for however long i contemplate, at the end i always think "damn, big tree!"". in retrospect, i guess this was the big hidden meaning.

my trip-guide reminded me that it would be a good idea to slowly move back to do another round of experiments and i was cool with that. we strolled back, chatting about pyramids, brain rhythms and enlightenment.

STILL COMING UP:
ykk ventures outside once more, by himself.

i hope you all enjoyed this here episode. i'm  really getting a kick out of your comments, i admit. and from some of you i've read so much while lurking, that you are part of my own personal shroomery-celebs, without you knowing i even existed. being able to have a direct impact on your brainwaves by sharing this experience really soothes me. eh, which probably means i should post more often.  oh, and sorry for giving this post the cheesy ending it deserved :tongue:

live well,
ykk 

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OfflinedoCtR_diSCreeT
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Re: I'm gonna be test-subject in psilocybin-research! [Re: ykk]
    #1224510 - 01/16/03 05:06 PM (21 years, 6 months ago)

No cheesy ending there...I liked it.  Keep us updated...!!  :grin: :grin: 


--------------------


Peace!

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InvisibleHermes_br
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Re: I'm gonna be test-subject in psilocybin-research! [Re: doCtR_diSCreeT]
    #1224528 - 01/16/03 05:13 PM (21 years, 6 months ago)

Yeah, Ykk !!

I'm loving it :laugh: 

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Offlinepattern
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Re: I'm gonna be test-subject in psilocybin-research! [Re: ykk]
    #1225319 - 01/17/03 03:12 AM (21 years, 6 months ago)

:smile:  Awesome thread ykk!!!


--------------------
man = monkey + mushroom

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Offlineroygbiv
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Re: I'm gonna be test-subject in psilocybin-research! [Re: ykk]
    #1227133 - 01/17/03 03:17 PM (21 years, 6 months ago)

...its great man, just great... do you know if yr tripguide has ever experimented with psychedelics, or if not, now being so closely involved in it has changed her mind about trying it? just curious... and lo! with this post, he gained the ability to rate yon thread, and thus, he gives it a five...

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