hello
this is kind of strange asking complete strangers for advice, but i don't really know what to do. there might be someone out there who can help me. i am 18 and i don't know what i want to do with my life.. i don't know who i am, or what i should be, or what i should do.. i am very directionless at the moment, i have just finished my first year of university doing humanities (philosophy etc) and i thought it was okay, but am going to take this year off and go overseas with some friends of mine.. my parents are making it really difficult for me because they want me to continue my course.. so many little seperate problems..
i am in a band with these friends, and they are very serious about their music, but i am not as confident about being a musician as they are (it is why they are going overseas, whereas i just want to go to experience other cultures).. they know that thats what they want to do, but i am worried that i will try it and not like it (or not get anywhere) and not be able to return to university.. the problem is that i have no fixed idea on what career i want to do, eventually i want to have enough money to live comforably and support a family.. but i don't want to be working a 9-5 job that i hate for the rest of my life just to earn money, and those are the only kind of jobs that university helps you get.. right?
another dillema is that i met a girl (my first girlfriend i guess) who i am together with and who i care about alot, and she is going overseas too at the same time, but to different areas than me.. she cares about me too, and i don't know what to do, because i know that it will be a very long time before i see her again once we leave, and i don't want to lose her... i have never met anybody like her before and she thought we should break up before we leave, because if either of us met someone else, it would be harder when we could not talk to each other about it.. i kind of agree, but what if we don't meet other people? i don't want to be with anyone else.. maybe i am just naive because i don't know what its like to have loved more than one person..
weird.. i just told you all my whole story right now.. i am too undecided on decisions to be made in life, and it scares me because i don't know if its something that i will ever get over..
thanks for reading this.. please help me make some sense of what is going on.. peace
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thank you all for your responses.. they have been pretty helpful.. i thought this would fit into the spirituality and philosophy section because i am not sure what else S&P is but finding yourself... i am not totally torn up about it , i just feel directionless and kind of confused..
Nomad, i have been thinking a little about buddhism recently, having studied it at university last year, but still don't really understand it.. how can we -not- get attached to some things? how can i not let myself get attached to my friends, or family.. they will die, as you said, but isn't it natural to want them to be alive? i don't have a fear of death, i just don't want to waste my life because i know it will go one day...
thank you all very much for sharing your experiences, some really hit a chord with me... i think the army would not really be my thing, and although i briefly considered it, i don't think i would like the dicipline, and especially with a war about to break out.. the thing i find frustrating is that i -try- to 'live for the moment', but what that actually means is difficult to say, you have to make decisions now that will affect your future, but how can you live in the moment when you have to keep thinking ahead to where you want to be?
i think a big part is that i want to make the right decisions and not regret anything, but the problem is that you often don't know they were right until after you make them..
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