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OfflineTrippyHippie74
Lover
Female

Registered: 11/21/09
Posts: 764
Loc: Ohio is for Lovers
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
My plans for
    #11864564 - 01/20/10 11:10 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

The next few months to a year, or whenever I feel like it.

My boyfriend and I recently broke up after almost 3 years. At first I was heart broken and I didn't want to face the fact that I don't have that security any more, so I lied to myself about it. Telling myself that I did not care. This was very, very unhealthy and all caught up to me last night. Followed by a major break down. The only thing I could think of was to talk to him. So we talked we talked for over an hour on the phone.

This is what I realized. He wanted to take time apart because he wasn't living his dream. He wasn't happy with himself, and felt like he couldn't treat me the way I needed to be because he wasn't happy. Now most people would be like yea whatever, you are lying to me or freak out about it just accusing him of something else. I took what he said and I finally understood what was wrong. I have respect for what he wants to do now. Everyone needs to fulfill their own dream.

On my end I am doing exactly what I want to be doing. I have my dream. I'm in the exact school for the exact thing I want. Which makes me happy and thankful at the same time. I will succeed. The only thing to stop me would be myself. 

So instead of taking this time to find a new boyfriend, that I don't even want at the time. I am going to take it and learn about myself. I want to explore myself. I know this may sound selfish, but I have ALWAYS had someone else to worry about which in turn led me to forget about me. I want to grow from this. I want to get a gym membership and work out. I want to be healthy. Whatever gym I join there must be yoga there. I absolutely want to take up yoga. I have heard so many good things about it. I don't know what else I want to do, but I am going to figure it out.

While I am doing this he is going to be doing what he wants to do to make his dream work. Neither one of us wants to even start another relationship with another person. I don't know what is going to happen in the time with us, but I can say that I am not afraid. Our love was the strongest I have ever felt. I dare myself and him to find better. I don't think there is for us.

So what do you guys think? Is this a good idea or am I totally insane? I think this could be life changing for me.


--------------------
:peace:Go see the sounds of the universe:peace:


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Invisibleidiotek
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Registered: 02/06/04
Posts: 40,666
Re: My plans for [Re: TrippyHippie74]
    #11864580 - 01/20/10 11:15 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

What you're doing is natural and healthy.  Be thankful you were with someone with enough presence of mind to tell you the way he feels - and if he's lying, so be it, you are better off regardless.  No relationship should be the foundation on which you build your own self worth or esteem.  You should love yourself and be OK with being alone with yourself before you try to build a lasting relationship with another person - at least in my experience. 

Good luck.  You seem like the sort of person with a very level head.  I would suggest not having any high hopes about rekindling your relationship in the future, though.. you might end up missing out on great things for yourself.  It's unfair to both of you to expect that sort of storybook and frankly unrealistic outcome.  I hope the best for you though.


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Invisibletiny_rabid_birds
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Registered: 11/08/05
Posts: 15,653
Loc: estados unidos Flag
Re: My plans for [Re: TrippyHippie74]
    #11864583 - 01/20/10 11:16 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

wait.  is what a good idea?  to take the time to yourself and develop who you are?  that's always a good idea.  i would absolutely support your decision to join a gym and get into yoga. 

after a 3 year relationship, i think it's definitely a good idea for you to want to remain single.  i don't think you should be doing so in the hopes of eventually getting back together with him though.  i think you should put that out of your mind.  basically like you said though.  focus on you, don't think about him.


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OfflineBrugman
antisobrietarian
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Registered: 05/17/01
Posts: 15,887
Loc: the land up over Flag
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
Re: My plans for [Re: TrippyHippie74]
    #11864588 - 01/20/10 11:16 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Man, I know so many girls just like you. They always have a boyfriend to worry/care about, and they forget about themselves. I say go for it! Give yourself some time with you.


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OfflineTrippyHippie74
Lover
Female

Registered: 11/21/09
Posts: 764
Loc: Ohio is for Lovers
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
Re: My plans for [Re: Brugman]
    #11864610 - 01/20/10 11:21 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

I honestly don't think he is lying. I know him very well. I am afraid of making the wrong choice though. I don't know if there is going to be someone to come along for me or him. I'm almost not worried about that right now, but I know it will eventually come up.


--------------------
:peace:Go see the sounds of the universe:peace:


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OfflineTrippyHippie74
Lover
Female

Registered: 11/21/09
Posts: 764
Loc: Ohio is for Lovers
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
Re: My plans for [Re: Brugman]
    #11864616 - 01/20/10 11:23 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Brugman said:
Man, I know so many girls just like you. They always have a boyfriend to worry/care about, and they forget about themselves. I say go for it! Give yourself some time with you.




Yea it happens quite often. You just forget about everything else. It's actually sad. I lost a lot of my friends over 3 years due to distance.


--------------------
:peace:Go see the sounds of the universe:peace:


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Invisibleidiotek
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Registered: 02/06/04
Posts: 40,666
Re: My plans for [Re: TrippyHippie74]
    #11864617 - 01/20/10 11:23 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Don't try to plan ahead, and obviously you fear a wrong decision.  I think that's normal for most people.  You should learn from mistakes so don't fear them to the point that you second guess your own judgment of things.  Go with the flow, you'll find life a lot more enjoyable that way.


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Invisibletiny_rabid_birds
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Re: My plans for [Re: TrippyHippie74]
    #11864623 - 01/20/10 11:25 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

i don't understand.  how can you be making the wrong choice?  he broke up with you, no?  being that you're newly single out of a long-term relationship, it really seems the only logical decision would be to take the time for yourself.  i couldn't imagine actively searching for a new meaningful relationship while the wound from the last is still fresh.


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OfflineTrippyHippie74
Lover
Female

Registered: 11/21/09
Posts: 764
Loc: Ohio is for Lovers
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
Re: My plans for [Re: idiotek]
    #11864626 - 01/20/10 11:26 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

That's what I am going to do. Take it day by day. Focusing on school and whatever the hell else I want to do. I'm going dancing with my friends this weekend!


--------------------
:peace:Go see the sounds of the universe:peace:


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OfflineTrippyHippie74
Lover
Female

Registered: 11/21/09
Posts: 764
Loc: Ohio is for Lovers
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
Re: My plans for [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
    #11864631 - 01/20/10 11:27 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

tiny_rabid_birds said:
i don't understand.  how can you be making the wrong choice?  he broke up with you, no?  being that you're newly single out of a long-term relationship, it really seems the only logical decision would be to take the time for yourself.  i couldn't imagine actively searching for a new meaningful relationship while the wound from the last is still fresh.





Honestly it was an agreement. It was more for him than me so I say yes he did break up with me.


--------------------
:peace:Go see the sounds of the universe:peace:


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OfflineRyan07
TurnItUpnMakeTheSpeakersBleed

Registered: 07/15/08
Posts: 1,197
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
Re: My plans for [Re: TrippyHippie74]
    #11864632 - 01/20/10 11:28 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

There is no wrong choice...

Do what it takes to soothe YOUR soul, and hopefully your boyfriend (and al of us for that matter) do what it takes to soothe our soul...

And if it is meant to be, you WILL find each again...

If not, you wont. You may try to force it to work, but you'll only being fooling your selves, wasting time, trying to relive a dream that is no longer. For better or for worse, tho it  almost always for the better.

So don't have any reservations, don't bank on any certain scenario or rekindling

BE FREE!

What needs to happen will happen....

Ryan~


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Invisibleidiotek
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Registered: 02/06/04
Posts: 40,666
Re: My plans for [Re: TrippyHippie74]
    #11864640 - 01/20/10 11:30 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

TrippyHippie74 said:
That's what I am going to do. Take it day by day. Focusing on school and whatever the hell else I want to do. I'm going dancing with my friends this weekend!




:highfive:

The worst thing you can do is over think something like this.  It is what it is.  You'll be fine.


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OfflineTrippyHippie74
Lover
Female

Registered: 11/21/09
Posts: 764
Loc: Ohio is for Lovers
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
Re: My plans for [Re: idiotek]
    #11864658 - 01/20/10 11:34 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Over thinking is not good! This is where the yoga comes it for relaxation.


--------------------
:peace:Go see the sounds of the universe:peace:


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Invisiblevisions

Registered: 11/08/08
Posts: 2,253
Loc: utopia
Re: My plans for [Re: Ryan07]
    #11864671 - 01/20/10 11:36 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Ryan07 said:

BE FREE!







I wouldn't hold onto his words,
these kind of things prolong the process of moving on

just live for yourself and learn to be independent


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Offlineurbanwolf
Male


Registered: 12/03/09
Posts: 951
Loc: Universe; TX
Last seen: 4 years, 4 months
Re: My plans for [Re: visions]
    #11864693 - 01/20/10 11:42 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Your post almost made me cry, seriously. I felt a very deep connection to the emotions you're expressing.

Any positive change in self is a good thing. You seem like a good girl, especially if you're being so understanding of the situation.

Take care, may Jah guide and protect you in your new future. :smile:


--------------------
"One has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws. I would agree with St. Augustine that, an unjust law is no law at all.” -- Martin Luther King Jr.

"Seek not abroad, turn back into thyself, for in the inner man dwells the truth." -- St. Augustine


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OfflineRyan07
TurnItUpnMakeTheSpeakersBleed

Registered: 07/15/08
Posts: 1,197
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
Re: My plans for [Re: visions]
    #11864711 - 01/20/10 11:47 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

visions said:
Quote:

Ryan07 said:

BE FREE!







I wouldn't hold onto his words,
these kind of things prolong the process of moving on

just live for yourself and learn to be independent





You say: just live for yourself and be independent...

WELL THATS EXACTLY WHAT BEING FREE IS.

Theres alot of foolish,  childish,  bickery on here. gets old. THanks for the correction visi0ns.quite useful!


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Invisiblepwnasaurus
Stranger
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 07/16/08
Posts: 12,317
Loc: Canada Flag
Re: My plans for [Re: TrippyHippie74]
    #11864715 - 01/20/10 11:48 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

TrippyHippie74 said:
Over thinking is not good! This is where the yoga comes it for relaxation.



I'm starting yoga on Monday!  Pretty excited, should be sweet.


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Invisibletiny_rabid_birds
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Registered: 11/08/05
Posts: 15,653
Loc: estados unidos Flag
Re: My plans for [Re: Ryan07]
    #11864725 - 01/20/10 11:51 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

ryan, i think you misunderstood vision's intentions.  he was quoting you in agreement.  when he said "i wouldn't hold onto his words", he was referring to the boyfriend, not you.


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OfflineTrippyHippie74
Lover
Female

Registered: 11/21/09
Posts: 764
Loc: Ohio is for Lovers
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
Re: My plans for [Re: urbanwolf]
    #11864728 - 01/20/10 11:51 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Man I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing that you almost cried. I know I made his best friend cry because of all this. He felt so bad about it.


--------------------
:peace:Go see the sounds of the universe:peace:


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OfflineTrippyHippie74
Lover
Female

Registered: 11/21/09
Posts: 764
Loc: Ohio is for Lovers
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
Re: My plans for [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11864737 - 01/20/10 11:53 AM (11 years, 3 months ago)

Ahh Let me know how it goes! I am really excited to look into it. There is this huge lady's super gym not too far from my house. I am going to go there and see if they have what I want.


--------------------
:peace:Go see the sounds of the universe:peace:


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