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Epilson Lyrae
Armed with hammers
Registered: 04/07/09
Posts: 5,561
Loc: Woody Creek
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Re: My craigslist causal encounters new years disaster [Re: GoshAllMighty]
#11755288 - 01/02/10 07:14 PM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
GoshAllMighty said:
EAT A GOOD MEAL BEFORE A HEART RACING, VOYEURISTIC WANK ATTEMPT IN FRONT OF STRANGERS IN THE PRE-DAWN HOURS!
-------------------- "Freedom is something that dies unless it's used." H.T. I've come to believe that the heart is the filter of the enlightened mind. Epilson Lyrae
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OMniversal
A Blaze in the Northern Sky
Registered: 12/08/05
Posts: 218
Loc: The Synaptic Cleft
Last seen: 8 years, 2 months
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Re: My craigslist causal encounters new years disaster [Re: Epilson Lyrae]
#11755428 - 01/02/10 07:35 PM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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Lol, epic thread indeed. I do feel for ya though as a similar incident happened with me before with a hot friend of mine a few NYE's ago where she stayed over and the next day one thing lead to another...but for whatever reason, could not deploy into attack phase. Really sucked, but in my case, it may have been for the best, as we are still friends to this day and it would've perhaps made things trickier.
Still sucks though having a hot friend that used to be on your radar for more, but alas that stage has passed and teh peN0r epic f@iled when it had the chance.
-------------------- "We contemplate the same stars, the Heavens are common to us all, and the same world surrounds us. What matters the path of wisdom by which each person seeks the truth? One cannot reach such a great mystery by a single path." - Symmachus, challenging the violent persecution of pagans by Catholic Roman emperor Theodosius I "When you look at yourself from a universal standpoint, something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about." -Einstein
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Amber_Glow
Sat Chit Anand
Registered: 09/02/02
Posts: 1,543
Last seen: 11 years, 30 days
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Re: My craigslist causal encounters new years disaster [Re: GoshAllMighty]
#11755799 - 01/02/10 08:33 PM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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I got excited when I saw the thread title. Knew it was going to be good.
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p4kSouL
Animals Are Cool
Registered: 01/13/05
Posts: 3,666
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Re: My craigslist causal encounters new years disaster [Re: Amber_Glow]
#11755930 - 01/02/10 09:04 PM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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Jogging, stretching, and proper circulation will remedy sexual inadequacy.
Its important to get equal blood flow to the the penis area.
Yoga poses that stretch the gluts, back of the leg muscles, caffs will do a good job. With gentle kegals. Doing kegals too hard can just stiff the muscles and be counter productive. http://www.antiochyoga.com/yahoo_site_admin/assets/images/Pada_Hastasana_1.197222942_std.jpg
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GoshAllMighty
Oh My Gosh!
Registered: 05/02/09
Posts: 837
Loc: °360
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
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Re: My craigslist causal encounters new years disaster [Re: p4kSouL]
#11756923 - 01/03/10 01:25 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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I know, when they left I had the bright idea to do jumping jacks and taking a hot shower, but nothing was letting my mind overflow my penis with blood, what it came down to was I had gone to long without eating and made myself kind shaking and cold, regressing my thoughts of sexiness and instincts for procreation to fuck im hungry lol.
When we were in the bedroom and I still was at a fail, I tried to be relavent to something we were talking about early, comedians in this case, and I was like "Haha this is kinda like Stanhope talking about snorting coke and punching his dick awake." I dont think they knew what I was speaking of, they must have been thinking I wasnt really "there", which I guess I wasn't.
heres what im talking about if anyones wants to know: Doug Stanhope - Ramid Child Pornography(3:04) [hes talks about it from 0:27-0:54]
-------------------- Perception is delicious.
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches
Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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Re: My craigslist causal encounters new years disaster [Re: GoshAllMighty]
#11756968 - 01/03/10 01:43 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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That was like one of the funniest stories I've ever heard. Bravo
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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Gastronomicus
3-0-G
Registered: 03/31/05
Posts: 9,744
Last seen: 5 hours, 9 minutes
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Re: My craigslist causal encounters new years disaster [Re: GoshAllMighty]
#11756969 - 01/03/10 01:44 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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-------------------- Make my Funk the P Funk, I wants to get Funked up LAGM2024
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gzuf
٩(̾๏̮̮̃̾๏̃̾)۶
Registered: 07/13/09
Posts: 6,535
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Re: My craigslist causal encounters new years disaster [Re: GoshAllMighty]
#11756977 - 01/03/10 01:49 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
GoshAllMighty said: I was so high I kinda yelled "NO ITS THIS FUCKING SPEED!" and I said im going to go get it hard on the laptop in living room with porn I like, and told them to go ahead and go at it, which he really wanted to see her gets loads on her by anther dude so they didnt really. Im in the living room doing absolutely nothing for my libido watching porn, its just a cold shriveled peace of flesh in my hands and they come back and start fucking on the living room floor and im watching them, watching the porn, they are staring at me like come on dude, and im looking back like fuck i know. This goes on for a few more minutes and then the dude starts putting his clothes back, and then she does the same, while Im still beating off to porn repeating "sorry I think its the speed".
-------------------- +1 Post ٩(̾๏̮̮̃̾๏̃̾)۶
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mtichael
500 channels
Registered: 03/15/09
Posts: 838
Loc: sun
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Re: My craigslist causal encounters new years disaster [Re: gzuf]
#11757049 - 01/03/10 02:17 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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fail im sorry 4 u man
ill make it better
"whoooooooooossshhhhh"
-------------------- The stars relly suck tonight Hate is so usefull i make sandwichs out of it
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hpi
Tsar Bomba
Registered: 01/17/07
Posts: 11,922
Loc: Montreal, Canada
Last seen: 10 months, 22 days
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Re: My craigslist causal encounters new years disaster [Re: mtichael]
#11757318 - 01/03/10 04:37 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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awesome story!
Before you say FUCK speed, give it another chance man! Speed is the BEST ffucking drug out there!
Some people can't get it up on speed where as I can't get it down and when I cum, I cum like a firehose!
How did you like the actual speed high though aside from what you mentioned already?
I stayed home alone and went to bed at 10:30pm that night so I had no sex but I woke up early to my girlfriend calling me and she came over and from then on
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GetTheFuckOut
Long Gone.
Registered: 10/11/01
Posts: 60,898
Loc:
Last seen: 13 years, 4 months
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Re: My craigslist causal encounters new years disaster [Re: GoshAllMighty]
#11757334 - 01/03/10 04:46 AM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
GoshAllMighty said: So its New Years eve and Im just chillin out and I had been smokin chronic and playin COD:MWF on Wii and while im wating for the next game I decide to go up against the on craigslist causal encounters and responded to a shit load of different listings. I got 3-4 fake "sign up" offers, and a pretty hot prostitute offering an hour of french for $100 and 30min of greek for 150$, it was temping but I got bills to pay. So anyways I get this response from people looking for MMF or MMFF and its says that they are all chillin out and still trying to talk the second girl into partying in the new year, I send my response, also I stated in my original reply that I am into entheogens, so then they reply back asking if I have shrooms or anything because this chick with a titty rings wants some. I didnt have any but told them Id have some later on in the month if they wanted to "make a connection tonight". So after a few more replys and responses of just them hanging out over at the other chicks house, they say they are leaving from the chick that is a duds house and coming over. Its a few hours into the 1st by now and I really didnt think anything was going to go down since my faith in craigslist is low. SO IM LIKE FUCK. The house is in lazy pothead mode, I haven't showered, I need to wash my balls. So I quickly toss shit everywhere, scrub up, jump out, get dressed, bout 4-5min before they show up.
So the dude is parking and Im busting out Jack and Vodka introducing myself to this tiny sexy little 26yr old Spanish thing thats about 5'4", 140lbs, nice face, with a tat that says firecracker. She was fucking sexy as beast. The guy comes in(young looking[but 42], 6'5", and idk tall looking) bearing gifts of beer and hard liquor, and we all go in the living room and start chatting a bit and turn on some tunes. We talk about Joe Rogan, Bill Hicks, drugs, and previous experiences, and this dude drove a 09 Bentley and payed people to rebuild old cars (which really made me think this girl was a prostitute, but w/e), talking about drugs they mention they have speed, I have never done speed 'til this point, but I say hell yea and we start doing lines. Were talking some more and I feel this speed kick in and I swear I must of just been ranting for awhile because what got us in going towards sex was Im pretty sure I started talking about evolving into sexless aliens and then just forwardly said "So we could have sex as the same thing." to the girl.
So this chick bust out here titties so I could see her nipple rings, and at this point and the dude plus out his willy, then I do the same, and im like here we go. Before I describe the disaster, let it be said that it was 6am, this was my first time doing speed, and in the past few years have had to deal with wearing full dentures which I find myself not eating for long periods of time, and the only thing I had eatin New Years Eve was a Krispy Kream donut. So shes blowing him and Im flaccid as a 2yr old, kinda cold and hungry, thinking that if I can just focus really hard and Ill get it hard. She then comes over and starts to blow my flaccid man-child cock and I feel absolutely nothing, he gets behind her and hits it, while Im trying to see how hot her sexy ass mouth is and top of her head are sliding on my cock, buts it like Im so fucking hungry and on speed that I couldn't get the right mind state. I tell her to go fuck him and I'll watch and it will get me hard, so she does and I start to beat off a cold dead eraser, every once in awhile feeling like it was almost there but always failing cause it kind hurt when it did start getting hard, which I also thought I could focus through the pain. I blame it on the speed and ask if they want to go to the bedroom and put on some porn, we go to the bedroom and I start to eat her clit level(god i hope she wasnt a prostitute) while he puts on porn, furiously jerking my gherkin trying to get it up. Fail. They ask if I have ever been in a threesome like they thought I was scared, I was so high I kinda yelled "NO ITS THIS FUCKING SPEED!" and I said im going to go get it hard on the laptop in living room with porn I like, and told them to go ahead and go at it, which he really wanted to see her gets loads on her by anther dude so they didnt really. Im in the living room doing absolutely nothing for my libido watching porn, its just a cold shriveled peace of flesh in my hands and they come back and start fucking on the living room floor and im watching them, watching the porn, they are staring at me like come on dude, and im looking back like fuck i know. This goes on for a few more minutes and then the dude starts putting his clothes back, and then she does the same, while Im still beating off to porn repeating "sorry I think its the speed". They were really cool about it, they understood it was 7am already, drugs were involved, and then they left.
So my first day of the New Years was a few hours of jerking of a stupid penis in front of a hot chick and a older guy. Not until like 4-5pm that day could I get hard and off, it seriously hurt finally getting it up. FUCK SPEED.
And I have had great experiences in threesomes before where we were all the same age, and its when fine, we were all drunk from partying on 6th street and it was awesome. So this didnt really effect me, other than I didnt get to blow a load on her. oh well, great reason to do more kegels haha.
How well did other Shroomites do sexy wise this new years?
-------------------- < I have logged in this once so that I can set the "last seen" feature up. let the faggots flow forth into OTD and have it. Its funny how they all grew nuts after I left. I'm not here, I'm not reading, but I urge you all to keep melting down over me. I know, I hurt alot of people, and they deserved it. epic win for me, epic fail for you. ythan, you rock dude. i feel that my time at the shroomery was very positive and enjoyable, but this site is no longer for me. im not mad or upset or disappointed, i just want no part in a pg rated faggot festival. <
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GoshAllMighty
Oh My Gosh!
Registered: 05/02/09
Posts: 837
Loc: °360
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
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Re: My craigslist causal encounters new years disaster [Re: hpi]
#11761107 - 01/03/10 08:20 PM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
hpi said:
How did you like the actual speed high though aside from what you mentioned already?
It pretty nice high, I see why meth heads like it. Other than I hadn't been on amphetamines for awhile, so when it hit me I just didnt care about anything and just started ranting, all sped up.
No one had any condoms either, so I couldn't fuck her twat, she could only blow me, and we questioned DSHSB. We were going for DP, but my stupid useless cock didnt want to play.
-------------------- Perception is delicious.
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mtichael
500 channels
Registered: 03/15/09
Posts: 838
Loc: sun
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Re: My craigslist causal encounters new years disaster [Re: GoshAllMighty]
#11761129 - 01/03/10 08:24 PM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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get checked you can get penis rot from bj's
-------------------- The stars relly suck tonight Hate is so usefull i make sandwichs out of it
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DrMambo
hamburger time
Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 6,197
Loc: 53rd & 3rd
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: My craigslist causal encounters new years disaster [Re: GoshAllMighty] 1
#11761242 - 01/03/10 08:43 PM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
GoshAllMighty said: its just a cold shriveled peace of flesh in my hands and they come back and start fucking on the living room floor and im watching them, watching the porn, they are staring at me like come on dude, and im looking back like fuck i know.
Man, if I had a nickel for every time that happened...
-------------------- "Yeah, he's a professor...... OF BEING A DOG!"
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Phish_Dude
steppin' into yesterday
Registered: 10/16/06
Posts: 5,745
Loc: secret tweeker pad
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Re: My craigslist causal encounters new years disaster [Re: DrMambo]
#11761297 - 01/03/10 08:50 PM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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Shit man that sucks, great read though. That happened to me once with this chick I had been wanting to hook up with for years. We got stoned/ wasted and hit the hot tub. I had it up, and was trying to keep it down before we got down to business. But right before I made the plunge it would go soft. I tried a few more times but her friend picked her up at that point.
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hpi
Tsar Bomba
Registered: 01/17/07
Posts: 11,922
Loc: Montreal, Canada
Last seen: 10 months, 22 days
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Re: My craigslist causal encounters new years disaster [Re: GoshAllMighty]
#11762406 - 01/03/10 11:56 PM (14 years, 2 months ago) |
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Dude you should have smoked the Meth. It's such a fucking amazing RUSH oh my fucking god!
I need to get sped but it's been 7 months almost that I quit and it's not worth getting addicted to again
-------------------- Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam! Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam! There exists one lie that is the absolute worst. A lie that has successfully infiltrated many of the Western governments. This lie is Christianity, and it must be fought in every way, shape and form. Burn the churches and kill the priests. The abomination that is Christianity must be wiped from this Earth. 4-Methyl-Aminorex
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