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Invisibletiny_rabid_birds
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Registered: 11/08/05
Posts: 15,653
Loc: estados unidos Flag
i have a tendency to talk to inanimate objects.
    #11673263 - 12/18/09 03:48 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

like when no one's around i'll coax them into working, or talk shit to them, or insult their mothers'.  for example, whilst chainsawing in the orchards, there are many, many brier bushes and spiky trees that have a tendency to jab into my flesh, which usually warrants an "argh, you fucking prick!" from me.

just now, i was outside splitting wood and i was working on one particularly stubborn bastard.  hard as a fucking rock, but i was talking shit to it.

"you may think you're tough you gnarled old bastard, but imma split that shit.  it may take some time.  a few extra strokes.  but you'll split like all the rest."

"slowly," i raise my axe.

"but," i tighten my grip.

"surely."  i swing down full force, striking exactly where i was aiming, only to watch the axe head break feebly off.

and that stump is left there laughing his silent, wheezing laugh [if it weren't for the silence, the laugh would have a wheeze i assure you].  cracked and chipped and twisted and gnarled.  but he stands.  my broken axe fallen to the wayside, that bastard stands.


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InvisibleWorld Spirit
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Registered: 07/27/01
Posts: 9,817
Re: i have a tendency to talk to inanimate objects. [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
    #11673270 - 12/18/09 03:51 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

No ballz

You won't make one tree bend.
:chew:

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OfflineTri High
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Registered: 05/02/08
Posts: 11,769
Loc: Monaghan, Ireland
Last seen: 12 years, 20 days
Re: i have a tendency to talk to inanimate objects. [Re: World Spirit]
    #11673282 - 12/18/09 04:09 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

Trees aren't inanimate :confused:


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Invisibletiny_rabid_birds
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Registered: 11/08/05
Posts: 15,653
Loc: estados unidos Flag
Re: i have a tendency to talk to inanimate objects. [Re: Tri High]
    #11673284 - 12/18/09 04:12 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

first off, it was a tree stump.

second of all, when the fuck have you ever seen a tree move on its own volition?  because i would like to meet an ent.  i think it'd be interesting.


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InvisibleWorld Spirit
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Re: i have a tendency to talk to inanimate objects. [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
    #11673291 - 12/18/09 04:21 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

How could know such a thing???  Trees are in fact intelligent in terms of knowing to grow towards (MOVE towards) light, water, and into soil. But yeah, you gotta point.  :tongue:

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OfflineChubba
Vape hungry

Registered: 07/05/07
Posts: 6,785
Last seen: 9 years, 6 months
Re: i have a tendency to talk to inanimate objects. [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
    #11673303 - 12/18/09 04:33 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

While it's a bit strange to talk to tree's, I definitely place them in a different category to something like an office chair or a tennis ball etc... one is living, the other is not.

1.Humans
2.Animals
3.Tree's/plants/fungi/whatever
4.Inanimate objects

I lump 1 and 2 together, I treat animals very close to how I treat humans... people find that very strange.

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Invisiblejewunit
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Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 34,264
Loc: Ohio Flag
Re: i have a tendency to talk to inanimate objects. [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
    #11673309 - 12/18/09 04:37 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

tiny_rabid_birds said:
"you may think you're tough you gnarled old bastard, but imma split that shit.  it may take some time.  a few extra strokes.  but you'll split like all the rest."




This happened to be the first and only part of your post I read. It made me fucking laugh so I figured I'd be best off leaving it out of context.


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OfflineLucas89
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Registered: 07/03/08
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Re: i have a tendency to talk to inanimate objects. [Re: Chubba]
    #11673312 - 12/18/09 04:38 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

i often curse at inanimate objects when they piss me off. such  as computers, pens, general shit that doesnt work etc. i dont think its really that weird.

infact, it generally seems to be pens. when i pick one up and it doesnt work. nothing pisses me off more than that.


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InvisibleMisterMuscaria
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Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
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Re: i have a tendency to talk to inanimate objects. [Re: Chubba]
    #11673319 - 12/18/09 04:45 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Chubba said:
While it's a bit strange to talk to tree's, I definitely place them in a different category to something like an office chair or a tennis ball etc... one is living, the other is not.

1. humans, animals
2. fungi, mushrooms
3. plants, trees, etc
4.Inanimate objects
5.
6. profit

I lump 1 and 2 together, I treat animals very close to how I treat humans... people find that very strange.



You've got yer kingdoms all out order brah.
Fixed

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InvisibleSimisu
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Registered: 08/08/03
Posts: 5,435
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Re: i have a tendency to talk to inanimate objects. [Re: MisterMuscaria]
    #11673708 - 12/18/09 08:09 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

:lol:

great post TRB!

we are all one, inanimate objects included, it makes sense to communicate with all of it... but yeah, you shouldn't have tighten your grip. all the contrary actually :smirk:


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InvisibleApollyphelion
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Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 16,757
Loc: Festival of Deaths
Re: i have a tendency to talk to inanimate objects. [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
    #11673724 - 12/18/09 08:14 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

tiny_rabid_birds said:
first off, it was a tree stump.

second of all, when the fuck have you ever seen a tree move on its own volition?  because i would like to meet an ent.  i think it'd be interesting.




It would be Ent-eresting!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
kill me now


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InvisibleTODAY
Battletoad
Male

Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
Re: i have a tendency to talk to inanimate objects. [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
    #11673908 - 12/18/09 09:06 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

its pretty hilarious that you talk shit to inanimate objects' mothers.  :lol:

weirdest I get on that tip is putting together a chain of swears that don't belong together if something as no big deal happens as me brushing something off a table when i walk by.

"holy son of a bitch tits ass cock jesus fuck nigger loving shit"


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ca'rouse (k-rouz)
intr.v.
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.

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OfflineCaffeinatedKat
Stranger


Registered: 12/17/09
Posts: 21
Last seen: 14 years, 3 months
Re: i have a tendency to talk to inanimate objects. [Re: TODAY]
    #11674135 - 12/18/09 09:58 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

I love lamp

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InvisibleyogabunnyM
fancy cat
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Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
Re: i have a tendency to talk to inanimate objects. [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
    #11674283 - 12/18/09 10:30 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

tiny_rabid_birds said:
like when no one's around i'll coax them into working, or talk shit to them, or insult their mothers'.  for example, whilst chainsawing in the orchards, there are many, many brier bushes and spiky trees that have a tendency to jab into my flesh, which usually warrants an "argh, you fucking prick!" from me.

just now, i was outside splitting wood and i was working on one particularly stubborn bastard.  hard as a fucking rock, but i was talking shit to it.

"you may think you're tough you gnarled old bastard, but imma split that shit.  it may take some time.  a few extra strokes.  but you'll split like all the rest."

"slowly," i raise my axe.

"but," i tighten my grip.

"surely."  i swing down full force, striking exactly where i was aiming, only to watch the axe head break feebly off.

and that stump is left there laughing his silent, wheezing laugh [if it weren't for the silence, the laugh would have a wheeze i assure you].  cracked and chipped and twisted and gnarled.  but he stands.  my broken axe fallen to the wayside, that bastard stands.




:thumbup:

i do this all the time too!!!

"motherfucking bitch" is an all time fav!


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OfflineThe24HourMC
Master Of Ceremonies
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Registered: 10/16/09
Posts: 7,704
Loc: Gone
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
Re: i have a tendency to talk to inanimate objects. [Re: yogabunny]
    #11674297 - 12/18/09 10:34 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

:lmafo:


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My Baby In MCLA


Fuckin Shit

Fuck that stay high

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Invisiblelegallyhomeless
mooch
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Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 4,051
Loc: EZRA for the Refuge
Re: i have a tendency to talk to inanimate objects. [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
    #11674626 - 12/18/09 11:48 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

tiny_rabid_birds said:
it may take some time.  a few extra strokes.  but you'll split like all the rest."




are you coming on to me?


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InvisibleRazzl3Frazzl3
Female

Registered: 07/31/09
Posts: 4,630
Re: i have a tendency to talk to inanimate objects. [Re: TODAY]
    #11674643 - 12/18/09 11:53 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

TODAY said:
its pretty hilarious that you talk shit to inanimate objects' mothers.  :lol:

weirdest I get on that tip is putting together a chain of swears that don't belong together if something as no big deal happens as me brushing something off a table when i walk by.

"holy son of a bitch tits ass cock jesus fuck nigger loving shit"



Kinda unrelated, but my favorite chain of swears when somethign random goes wrong is
shitniggerdamn! All as one word

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OfflineWasteland
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Registered: 07/26/06
Posts: 4,776
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Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: i have a tendency to talk to inanimate objects. [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
    #11674646 - 12/18/09 11:53 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

I did the very same thing to several eggs, a spatula and a frying pan this morning.

Trying to make a decent over-easy is a process of aggravation and frustration for me...


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People are always promising the apocalypse. They never deliver. :frown:

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Offlinedruqs
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Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 8,862
Last seen: 6 months, 3 days
Re: i have a tendency to talk to inanimate objects. [Re: Wasteland]
    #11674660 - 12/18/09 11:55 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

as long as the objects don't talk back you're doing fine.

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Invisiblejewunit
Brutal!
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Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 34,264
Loc: Ohio Flag
Re: i have a tendency to talk to inanimate objects. [Re: Wasteland]
    #11674662 - 12/18/09 11:55 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

I'm convinced making eggs over easy is impossible.


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