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Rono
DSYSB since '01
Registered: 01/25/01
Posts: 16,259
Loc: Calgary, Alberta
Last seen: 1 year, 29 days
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What the world might be like in 2035...
#1144665 - 12/16/02 04:55 AM (21 years, 3 months ago) |
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Newspaper Headlines In The Year 2035....
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.
California's Government owned and controlled electrical generating and distribution system failed for the 14th time this year blacking out most of the Western United States for over 13 hours. Duke Energy, the only remaining nongovernmental power generator, renewed cries to place operation and maintenance of the Countries electrical power generation facilities and distribution grid into private hands.
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped.
Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but Pres Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.
35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.
Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
Congress sets lowest tax rate at 75% and authorizes IRS Death Squads to collect "on the spot".
-------------------- "Life has never been weird enough for my liking"
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KillerClown
From Outer Space
Registered: 10/31/02
Posts: 388
Loc: in a dark corner
Last seen: 21 years, 21 days
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Re: What the world might be like in 2035... [Re: Rono]
#1144679 - 12/16/02 05:01 AM (21 years, 3 months ago) |
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Wow....Surprisingly prophetic.....
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Innvertigo
Vote Libertarian!!
Registered: 02/08/01
Posts: 16,296
Loc: Crackerville, Michigan U...
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Re: What the world might be like in 2035... [Re: Rono]
#1144878 - 12/16/02 06:10 AM (21 years, 3 months ago) |
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scary...funny, but scary nonetheless...
I'll be 65 and retired you could always add that the retirement age is now at an all time high of 97 1/2 years old.
-------------------- America....FUCK YEAH!!! Words of Wisdom: Individual Rights BEFORE Collective Rights "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." -- Thomas Jefferson
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luvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?
Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 34,247
Loc: Lost In Space
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Re: What the world might be like in 2035... [Re: Rono]
#1145398 - 12/16/02 08:49 AM (21 years, 3 months ago) |
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In reply to:
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
That's why we MUST start eating them now!
In reply to:
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Do you really think it will take that long?
In reply to:
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Seems that way already.
In reply to:
Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.
It does that now.
-------------------- You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers
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pattern
multiplayer
Registered: 07/19/02
Posts: 2,185
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 4 years, 16 days
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Re: What the world might be like in 2035... [Re: Rono]
#1145692 - 12/16/02 10:52 AM (21 years, 3 months ago) |
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There are still 128 known Shroomery fugutives at large in various countries. They are considered armed and extremely dangerous. Report to your local UN-DEA official with any tips on their whereabouts. Submit a successful tip and recieve a lifetime luxury retirement cruise!
-------------------- man = monkey + mushroom
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