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Offlineseeker28
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Registered: 07/03/08
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Importation Lamentation
    #11428492 - 11/10/09 07:36 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Hey Guys,

So here's the story:

When I was 16, I attempted to import a wrist-support slingshot into Australia through eBay from the UK (judge me if you must, but shooting shit is fun, especially when you're that age). After they sent me 2 or 3 normal slingshots (for free, mind you, semi WIN) I got a bit crankey and demanded them to send me the wrist support one which I ordered. So they obliged, and a couple of weeks later I got my notice by my front door to pick up my package from the Post Office. So I ran down, excitedasfuck, to have the clerk behind the counter smugly hand me a thin brown envelope from Australian. Federal. Fucking. Customs.

This letter self-righteously notified me that slingshots with wrist-supports were prohibited weapons in Australia and that they had confiscated/"impounded it under the Crown" for destruction at a later date if I failed to provide sufficient warrant/license permitting me to own one.

It then went on to say something along the lines of: "please contact Officer Richard Chiese on _____  _____ to explain yourself, you worthless guilty piece of shit, you're so fucked", and I think (it was a few years ago, my memory's a bit hazy) it said that they'd sort out my punishment at their discretion and that I could face court or be fined.

So I rang this guy up, told him my age, told him I only wanted it for a bit of adolescent fun, eg shooting bottles in my backyard etc, but he wouldn't have a bar of it, he seemed American "cops" cop/DEA-like in his universal approach, treating me like a middle-aged terrorist who had just attempted to import a high-powered weapon they were going to use to assassinate the PM :rolleyes: This guy sounded like he wanted to put me before a judge, so he could put another gold fucking star next to his name on the whiteboard across the office and win a bucketload of contraband to take home and use at his own leisure in the Federal Customs Fucks' annual "who can fuck over the most citizens" competition.

Anyway, my Dad overheard me talking to this Fuck, pleading my case, and told me to hang up immediately. He got this guy's number off me and rang him later, after giving me his obligatory paternal lecture on why one shouldn't commit federal offences, use slingshots etc. However, he did make the latter point as a matter of course, because he too, had a slingshot when he was a kid and he understood.
Mum said using slingshots was immature. I told her that that was pretty damn ironic seeing as you have to be over 18 to purchase them in Australia :smirk:

Dad can have a way with words when he wants to, so he sorted the MotherFucker out, even though I didn't want him to. I was 16, invincible, and could "fight my own battles":rolleyes:. I think I would've copped it hardcore from that Customs Pig if Dad hadn't've stepped in for me.


So, after all this shit, would I be right in saying that my details are on the Federal Customs database, and that everything I import from hereonin (haven't imported anything since) will be scrutinised, opened and checked?

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Invisiblefastfred
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Registered: 05/17/04
Posts: 6,899
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Re: Importation Lamentation [Re: seeker28]
    #11474497 - 11/17/09 03:05 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Australia is now officially the gheyest country on the planet.

If I had my own country I would invade you and beat the shit out of you lilly pussies.  Later I would free you from your oppressive government of course.

Can't even own a slingshot?  What a bunch of babies.  I suppose they make you get a note from your mommy if you want to play with yourself.


-FF

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