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OfflineMind Transcribing
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Six eyes and Self-sustaining lawn mowing - PART TWO - Seeking Advice!
    #11415870 - 11/09/09 02:40 AM (8 years, 1 month ago)

Please refer to PART TWO in this thread (The Fifth Post) if you have already read PART 1

Hi everyone, this will be my first post on the shroomery. It's fairly long, so I'm sorry if it becomes repetitive or boring. I've been reading these forums lately and they've struck me as particularly insightful. While every group has its bad apples, Ive found this board to be concentrated goodness for lack of a better description. Hope ya enjoy my trip report, because ultimately it's a futile attempt to describe the indescribable, and that is what makes it so mysterious and exciting for me.

After two surreal trips of adventure with my friends, I decided to do shrooms with my girlfriend. She hadn't tripped before, but I assured her there wasn't anything to fear. We've been long time smokers, and I was just getting into the psychedelic experience.

I planned two trips. I would go with my friends and then a week later share the rest of my shrooms with my girlfriend. I ended up getting sick before any of the trips took place, (just a cold) but I decided I would disregard my sickness in favor of reaching the bliss once more.

The night before my first trip I got a call from my friend. We talked for awhile and he casually mentioned bringing another person along with us, then he said later. I didn't really know this kid, I mean I had nothing against him, but I had this terrible feeling lingering that my buddy was changing things around at will without even talking to me. It left me feeling isolated and powerless.

After a lot of debate I called him and told him to have a great time and best of luck, but I wouldn't be joining him in the trip. It was a big decision for me, the first time in my life where I really started to branch off from my friends in favor of my girlfriend. My girlfriend never gave me trouble, or had situations like this where I was expected to suck it up or deal with any sort of discomfort. That was the friendship I wanted to cultivate, instead of the endless struggle that always seemed to subversively take place when I was around my pals.

I thought about my girlfriend and the choice I had just made. A lot of energy was pulsating through me, much of it being nervousness, and much of it being excitement. I didn't know where this new mindset would take me. I took some ambien and lay in my bed. After that I started thinking about who else we could bring to make the trip great. I flipped through all my friends in my head, deciding how to form the best "trip party".

It was at this point that something dawned on me. I was doing exactly what my friend had. Immediately after choosing my girlfriend, I had started making changes and disregarding how she felt. It didn%u2019t stem from a dislike of her, but a simple ignorance to her feelings. It may be obvious to most, but at this point I decided I would put her totally and unequivocally to the forefront of my life in every aspect for better or worse.

The next morning I was still sick. I could feel heat whenever I exhaled through my nose and had quite a headache; still I called my girlfriend and picked her up. I waved to her Dad who was mowing the lawn and drove off. We went to a clearing to do the shrooms. I was quite inexperienced (and still am) and because of this I didn't really believe in bad trips. While bad and good are probably labels, I was convinced that shrooms could produce nothing but euphoria.

I couldn't have eaten more than 2 grams with her, she probably had less. I had maybe 1.5 and 2.5 before that on separate trips, obviously low amounts each time. I couldn't grasp anything going wrong with these precautions.

I lost total track of time in this trip so I'm not going to bullshit and attempt to chronologically order it.

At the start, the anxiety was intense. At one point I put my head in my girlfriends lap because I felt as if I couldn'nt take the experience. It was weighing down upon me on all shoulders, but my girlfriend took care of me and it helped ease the nervousness.

Things started getting more chaotic. We were sitting in this clearing out in the woods. Overtime I became lost in the waves of thought crashing against my reality one after another. Me and my girlfriend got into some really deep conversations that I was never able to experience with my friends, who always seem to be intentionally distracting themselves from the mindfuck.

As we got deeper and deeper, talking about the concepts of personality, the possibility of our inability to comprehend a greater consciousness in the universe, and the loss of the self. I realized that I could not remember a time when I was sober. I guess I could physically remember it, but I couldn'tmentally picture what it was like.

I felt as if I had been released from a state of bondage that I had been in my whole life. Everything I had been doing, my entire routine, seemed so trivial at that moment. I would get up, go to my girlfriends and got on the computer to play games while she watched tv. This would repeat itself every day, my girlfriend agreed and spoke with intelligence and insight that I had never heard from her before. I wondered if these understandings would be forgotten when the trip was over.

As the trip peaked I lost total contact with time. I could no longer remember what in the hell time was. I laughed uncontrollably at the humor in life. I kept saying "it's hilarious" while guffawing at the mild hallucinations I was having. At one point it looked as if my girlfriend had six eyes. I waved my hand through the dirt, and it felt like warm sand on a beach.

Through the laughter and euphoria tears began to come from my eyes. I was totally and absolutely overtaken by the beauty and hilarity within life. I began to feel as if I was my friend. Then I began to feel as if I was all human beings. I felt as if my personality was simply a concept that did not exist. This mental high was never achieved before and I was a bit blindsided by it. But so far everything had been going splendidly.

At some point, one of my other friends texted me freaking about me buying shrooms without letting him know. I was totally taken aback by this but managed to stuff it in the corner. This probably exasperated the fear and allowed it to grow over time. However it did not seem to play that big of an effect in hindsight, as I didn't give it too much thought.

Even with all this euphoria, there was a danger lingering. I could not tell what, but I had this feeling like a bad psychedelic wave was heading right towards us and we had to escape. I told my girlfriend, and we tried to get up. At this point we realized we could barely walk. I might have been able to walk out of the clearing, but I was so demoralized by the thought of my parents realizing I was tripping that I couldn%u2019t bring myself to go home.

Things plummeted like a rollercoaster into negative vibes and fear. While I tried to keep a cool head, the self-doubt overwhelmed me. I felt totally irresponsible for giving shrooms to my girlfriend. Negative thoughts clouded my mind and I wanted nothing more than to escape this feeling.

My girlfriend started to cry and mutter over and over "things were so good before". I knew it would end, even though I was paralyzed by my own arrogance and underestimation of shrooms. My girlfriend talked of killing herself to escape the pain.

There wasn't much I could do to help her. I tried to hold her in my arms and get us into some shade to relax until the trip ended, but she kept yelling and screaming that the shade was bad. She kept muttering that we had to escape, but I was totally convinced that going home would result in us getting caught. In her defense there was logic in her voice. I wanted to fall asleep under the shade, which she realized was impossible considering what we were going through. Nevertheless I insisted we attempt to do something to keep ourselves physically safe.

We finally went to the shade, and the negative thoughts still consumed us both. I tried to reach out and help her, but felt totally isolated and separate. She lay on the ground next to me, but I was curled up on the ground trying to reconcile with what was happening. At one point I looked at my cell phone and asked if it was god. I simply came to the conclusion that all of my hopes weighed on time causing the trip to end.

I was absolutely begging my cell phone to speed time up and end the pain. A clear thought did go through my head however, I told myself that it was just a terrible ride, and I had to endure it until it was over.
A truck pulled up next to us. My girlfriend thought it was the police and panicked. The owner of my development (who I am friends with, and also friends with his brother and family) emerged from the truck. I asked him if he was who he was, because his face was distorted and I couldn%u2019t really remember if he existed at all. He complied and told me he had some friends who took "the shroom". Then he agreed to drive me and my girlfriend home.

I felt anxious and nervous especially about my house, I asked him if he had anything to knock us out, but he said no. Despite all of this I felt a really happy and grateful vibe overcome me. I told my girlfriend "We're going to be ok; my friend is gonna save us!" She was still stuck in the panic and tried to escape, believing he was going to report us to the police. I grabbed my girlfriend, herded her toward his truck and told her jokes and did my best to remind her everything would be fine.

It's safe to say that while still under the effects, I was myself again at this point in the trip. My girlfriend was scared outta her mind, but I could never blame her considering it was her first time and she had a terrible guide (me).

My friend and I laughed it up in the truck, and I kept thanking him for saving us. He had this estranged look on his face (probably because I could barely remember him and almost didn't get into the truck out of my excitement from forgetfulness).

When I finally got home, I didn't close his truck door correctly and it flew open. I laughed at the experience and apologized. Me and my girlfriend quietly approached my backyard when I realized my parents weren't even home. I felt totally uplifted. I had planned on taking xanax to end the trip, but decided against it because we were coming down and things were very mellow and relaxed. I felt as if I had survived hell and back.

After a short time at my house, we both felt totally relieved. I apologized for putting her through the ordeal and she insisted we were both responsible. We drove to her house, and her Dad was still mowing the lawn. I started to crack up from the absurdity of the situation. I later learned he stopped cutting after I left and continued in the afternoon. It was a hilarious turn of events.

My entire outlook on shrooms has been altered since that day. I had the best trip of my life and the worst all rolled into one. I realized that shrooms have good and bad parts, and regardless of whether we label experience or not, I can either have both or not trip at all. I came to the realization that shrooms aren't a toy to be fucked with and that I can't do them all day with no consequences. The idea of a "bad" trip seemed ludicrous until that point, and I really learned my lesson on that one.

The psychedelic experience is one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed. I felt paranoid and detached from shrooms in the aftermath of the trip (first couple weeks) but everything settled out and the euphoria and mental high I felt was absolutely reality-shattering. It was beautiful and hideous, clear and chaotic, surreal and terrifying, I was at one, and totally separated. I love shrooms and I can%u2019t wait to experience this journey again with proper moderation and caution.

Happy tripping guys


Edited by Mind Transcribing (11/30/09 09:02 AM)


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OfflinePsychonot2329
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Re: Six eyes and Self-sustaining lawn mowing - My trip report! (long) [Re: Mind Transcribing]
    #11416507 - 11/09/09 05:09 AM (8 years, 1 month ago)

Based on the information you've given, I'd recommend you abstain from psychedelics until you gain a bit of maturity. You make the reckless decision to trip after a night of doubts and breaks; you brought someone to their first trip while you had entered it with problems; you did it while ill; and you apparently lack information on the mushrooms (you thought they could only bring euphoria? Did you not do any research?)

I'm glad you learned lessons; but, as someone with extensive experiences,I urge you to wait for at least a few months. And go into the trips in a more organized fashion; with a goal in mind, with intention, and with a safety net (perhaps a sitter). And, most importantly, respect the mushroom and the psychedelic experience--do not rush into it, ever.


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OfflineMind Transcribing
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Re: Six eyes and Self-sustaining lawn mowing - My trip report! (long) [Re: Psychonot2329]
    #11419209 - 11/09/09 04:01 PM (8 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah I agree. I learned alot from my decision. I gained a deep respect for the shroom after that experience, but honest;y it's good that it happened this way. You are right about maturity and research, I am lacking in both. My trip drove me to these forums and to research and understand shrooms before I use them.

My arrogance and my ego got smashed by them, and it's a terrible thing that I haphazardly brought my girlfriend into the mix.

But that's the trip ya know, ya learn from experience. I made a lot of bad moves. I was stupid and immature (and still am) but my understanding of them had to start somewhere. Thanks to people like you I've cultivated a much better outlook on the drug and a much more realistic view of the consequences from abuse.

So all in all I'm glad I went through it. And thanks for your advice, I've been working for a while on some kind of shroom schedule containing a list of movies, songs, locations and other ways for me to keep myself occupied and keep the trip going. I've also relegated shrooms to a couple times a year. It's not as much moderation as it is a belief that they aren't to be toyed with. Maybe that makes it both.


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OfflineListening
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Re: Six eyes and Self-sustaining lawn mowing - My trip report! (long) [Re: Mind Transcribing]
    #11420361 - 11/09/09 06:57 PM (8 years, 1 month ago)

Just to contrast Psychonot2329's post, I'd say that it sounds like you have nothing to worry about for the long term. You're a deep thinker and you're not running away from your problems. Keep at it.

Remember, you're a psychedelic warrior whether sober or high.

Good luck.


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OfflineMind Transcribing
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Re: Six eyes and Self-sustaining lawn mowing - My trip report! (long) [Re: Listening]
    #11553442 - 11/30/09 06:42 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

PART TWO

Thanks for the kind words. After my third trip I underwent two more out my naivety. This was a couple months ago, and I had thought setting would fix my problems. Things turned out pretty bad and I began to feel severe anxiety at the mere thought of doing shrooms.

There was anxiety to be had in cannabis too, apparently. I took the advice of Psychonot and abstained from anything higher than weed since my fifth trip. I smoked and attempted to observe the fear, the irrational anxiety. As time went on I felt I had made much progress. Many roots of my fears were discovered through cannabis, I would close my eyes and ride the vortex into the abyss.

Cannabis is obviously a mild psychedelic, but my experiences with shrooms had heightened the effects and the anxiety to such an extent that it changed my outlook on the drug completely. I started to meditate on weed not because I had a desire to follow spiritual guidelines, but simply because it allowed me to find some sort of center during a high.

One day I began to meditate while sober outside my college. It was a great experience, I felt as if I was melting into the ground. I watched the lights of the highway travel on and on, and let the sounds of cars take me over. I ran my fingers through the grass and asked "Why am I afraid to immerse into nature?".

I started to sing some incoherent songs, thinking "Why do I need to sing words? I can make my own songs damn it!" Some students walked by and laughed at me, but it didn't bother me. Part of me realized humility was something that could keep me grounded to the earth. Maybe the act of being humiliated was the essence of ego-loss? Is experiencing humility equivalent to understanding humility? Perhaps or perhaps not.

I was driving home and I felt as if God's love was everywhere. It's important to note that I was agnostic leaning towards atheist at this point, I didn't meditate on God's love or anything like that, it just came over me.

I heard a church bell while standing outside my girlfriends house, and while being total opposed to the catholic church and organized religion in general, it sounded totally sublime. For a small moment I recognized the inherent beauty in church bells without my perceived bias towards the church itself, I was able to appreciate it without my views filtering my experience. This lasted for a couple hours. Normally I could intellectually acknowledge they were nice, but I couldn't feel it.

I went out to eat with my girlfriend and was astonished at how much I absolutely loved everything. It was raining and I just stood there in total awe of the feeling of love being poured over me. When I looked strangers in the eyes I felt no fear or apprehension, but total love and understanding for them. Was all of this an illusion? Definitely a possibility, I don't know much about meditation, but I do know our subconscious has a powerful effect on our perception of reality.

The feeling departed after I left the buffet, and a little sinking feeling of hopelessness reclaimed the space love used to occupy. My fears were confirmed, this could not be forever. The event was burned into my memory and I made a point to write about it and never forget that the love was real to me and not a random state of mind.

I've never really meditated sober before this, so it felt great to actually have a reason to do it. Unfortunately I haven't meditated since then, but I am seriously considering working it into my daily life. I don't know why I haven't, but I think it's because I'm afraid I'll do it again without the same result, and the hopeless will grow even more powerful. I guess an irrational fear of the future is holding me back from experiencing that again, I will attempt to do this tomorrow without any judgments on what I should feel.

Now I am leaning towards a spiritual belief in God, but I recognize the importance of maintaining the possibility that there is none. I frankly believe both sides are needed to balance each other out and provide perspective, but I must hold on to that memory, it wasn't just a dream.

Smoking doesn't bother me at all at this point, while there is definitely anxiety, it's manageable and in a weird way I'm grateful for, because it gives me many chances to deal with drug-oriented anxiety in a relatively risk-free trip.

Still, weed "was no shrooms" and if anything they'd be heightened as well from my experiences. In fact, one of my many fears during my fifth trip were constant flashbacks to my third trip, which was my most spiritual trip, but ended in disaster. During the fifth trip I felt as if I didn't wanna reach that point, I didn't want reality to dissolve that much. I was fighting it the whole time, and I the indoors made me feel extremely claustrophobic.

I almost threw up after going into my girlfriends bedroom because of how small it was. It was also painted with a dark purple that made it feel like an enclosed box of the abyss, like purgatory if there is such a thing. It's unsettling to be in that room to this day for me.

I grew very close to my girlfriend, but began to isolate myself more and more from my friends. I didn't have an urge to spend time with them. My views on psychedelics felt very distant and I didn't believe many were out there who took them seriously enough. During this period my ego grew a bit, which seems to always happen to me when I'm subjected to social isolation. I started to look down on my friends and see them as "just wanting to get fucked up".

I did my best to keep myself in check and maintain respect and love for them, but it seemed that my thoughts were judging them based off of archaic images that were no longer applicable. They had changed with time, but being isolated I would never know who they truly were, I could only slander my concepts of their past selves.

I don't remember how this got started, I think I texted one of them on ambien one night. We talked for a little bit and he invited me to smoke with him and another friend I had lost touch with for a while. I decided it was time to come outta isolation and test the waters.

We smoked and walked around. Things were pretty fun, I had some interesting concepts to share with them, and we had many views in common. I did my best to be open about feeling anxiety and tell the truth of what I was experiencing, which is a lot easier said than done.

At one point I felt disconnected from the conversation, and began to think that my friends were intentionally stonewalling me. This could have been caused by a number of factors, but something that stuck out was my smoking method. I inhale as much as possible with the mouth, then push it down with my lungs as long as I can for maximum effect (I'm a lightweight as well).

Now, the cannabis was in no way to blame for my disconnection, but I began to think about how high I was. I tried to watch myself and what was happening. I realized I was actually under the effects of heavy paranoia, and that's why i had seemingly accepted the notion that my friends were conspiring to leave me out of the conversation. I told them about it and we got a good laugh out of it.

They talked me into driving them to Tacho Bell, and I felt kinda nervous about it, but did it anyway. It was a bad trip, because I didn't know how to get there without directions. I refuse to drive under anything stronger than cannabis, but I try to keep that to a minimum as well because I don't like endangering peoples lives. Still, I'm a hypocrite for doing it at all.

I asked my friend about meditation, he had done shrooms thirty times and replied that he does it all time. He went over the different forms of meditation he uses. Part of me was happy for him, but the other part felt threatened that he was diminishing me in some way. I had tripped five times with mixed results, and it seems that being the only one who experienced anything resembling "ego-death" had done nothing more than to inflate my ego. I also have always tried to maintain my individual self without succumbing to influence around my friends, which usually results in much unneeded stress.

I felt confused and a little depressed a the end, my ego was a bit shot. In my world I was a terrible driver, a terrible person, and not nearly as spiritually advanced as I had once entertained. My friends invited me to camp out with them on black Friday, so I said why not.

I was a bit unsure at first. After driving around for a while I almost asked them to take me home. There was a wall between us. I was in the backseat and felt as if there wasn't a way to communicate with them. I stayed and smoked, things started to feel better. The anxiety came in, but I waved it off playfully and analyzed myself. I started to talk a lot more with my two friends, and did my best not to get caught in a specific conversation with only one of them, because I knew how it felt to be excluded.

The conversations became abundant, and I felt my social abilities return in small fragments. The "nowness" of the experience was apparent in every breath, and I tried to go with the flow instead of being distracted by petty thoughts of isolation or fear or insecurity. We went to a store where I bought a hat for the winter without any influence from my friends, it felt nice to make a conscious decision on my own amidst all the group mentality.

After going to mall, I bought a jacket that suited my tastes. My friends told me that I looked good in it along with the hat multiple times, I didn't feel any paranoia about these comments (the weed was long worn off by now it should be noted). In fact, I felt pretty happy overall, like I had been able to connect with my friends while retaining some sort of identity. I played around with the idea that we are totally affected by everyone we encounter, so maybe I wasn't the same person around them that I was alone, or when I was with my girlfriend. It seemed to make sense at the time.

Near the end of this adventure, after talking with my friends all night and into the morning, I came to a realization. While I was sad that my philosophical ideas weren't always explored by my friends, I was very quick to dismiss their own in our conversations. I seemed much too eager to launch my own theories at them. I started to listen intently to what they had to say, and did my best to give them the respect they deserved, the group felt very connected to me after this had happened.

I remarked to them on my ego, telling them that while I may be capable of deep thought, I'm very close minded to other people's beliefs. It seemed so obvious at that point in time, like none other before. My friend later said that I was giving off negative vibes and being a little down on myself, it wasn't just me then! I laughed a little and agreed with him. I told him I needed to get my shit together on my own, and was aware of my state.

They offered me shrooms, but I had to say no, because I couldn't afford to mess up my mentality anymore. When I did them, it would be prepared for, there would be a sitter, and I would go as introspective as possible.

It was a fascinating night, I gained a new respect for my friends and felt that they each had strokes of genius embedded in their consciousness.

I took a vyvanse (like adderall) to get some essays done tonight. I used to take it daily, but quit in favor of owning the drug, instead of the other way around. Now I just keep it around for special occasions when I have a big workload.

I was writing a short essay for my college, and I suddenly realized how lucky I am. I realized that even though I had many problems with college, it was an incredibly fun experience that I was becoming numb to. I had a lot of fun writing this short little paper, that I viewed as boring work before! College isn't perfect, but there was so much worse I could personally be doing right now, like working a job that didn't stimulate me intellectually in anyway. College forced me to actually apply myself, educate myself, and do works of writing that I'd never consider if I didn't attend. I feel really grateful towards my family and all they've paid for to make my life as comfortable as possible.

As I write this and come-down I know waves will recede, but that doesn't mean I can't be aware of the cycle. I feel at peace and ready to do shrooms again. I will take my time in preparation of setting, safety, state of mind, and a good sitter.

I need to thank the Shroomery for all the information and help you have given me. The advice of this forum has been absolutely invaluable to me, and there's so much more to learn, knowledge and experience wise.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading! If you have any suggestions about the setting and the plans of my trip, or anything else, PLEASE CHIME IN! I could use some constructive advice. I'll do my best to reply to any comments made in this thread to gain a better understanding of shrooms. Happy trippin


:goodluck:


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Edited by Mind Transcribing (11/30/09 09:01 AM)


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OfflineAldebaran
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Re: Six eyes and Self-sustaining lawn mowing - My trip report! (long) [Re: Mind Transcribing]
    #11556634 - 11/30/09 06:59 PM (8 years, 12 days ago)

Hmmm. Lots of stuff to think about here - it sounds like you are questioning your whole life as much as your mushroom experiences. I don't know why I typed out such a long response, I'm in a funny mood today.

Anyway, apart from a lack of research, I don't think you did anything particularly wrong on the mushroom trip with your girlfriend. However, you can't really expect to be a great guide if you only have limited experience yourself, so perhaps your girlfriend got a little more than she bargained for! 2g hardly sounds excessive (assuming they were cubensis mushrooms) and a clearing in the woods sounds like a reasonable place to trip. The important thing is to stay physically safe, so the decision to stay in the shade and not wander off is sensible. You are obviously willing to learn from your experiences, so don't be too hard on yourself about being immature. If you were that immature, you wouldn't be bothering to post something like this report - it demonstrates self-awareness and a willingness to learn.

Don't get too hung up about making sure that your trips are always euphoric and happy. There's simply no way to guarantee that a trip will be uniformly positive. You say the experience was like a rollercoaster - that's part of the idea. Nobody should get on a rollercoaster if they don't want to be tipped upside down on a ride they cannot control. Psychedelics don't really take you 'up' or 'down' - they take you sideways. They are strange. A little bit of anxiety or nervousness is not a bad thing before you take shrooms - it's a recognition that you are embarking upon a journey using a powerful drug. It adds to the drama and excitement. However, once you have taken them, just try to relax, maintain a sense of humour, don't try to control every aspect of the experience (you can't) and surrender yourself to the mushroom!

Stay safe, but don't fight the effects even when they are unpleasant and overwhelming. Have faith that you can deal with whatever you have to face within your trip. Don't feel bitter about a bad experience - treat it as a challenge that you overcame. Even during a difficult experience, you may find that as the trip peaks and becomes a bit less intense, you start to enjoy yourself again. Trips are not 'good' or 'bad' - they contain a wide variety of emotional states. Don't feel guilty that your girlfriend was scared. You didn't abandon her and she has to take responsibility for her own decision to trip. Realising that "things were so good before" may be a beneficial wake-up call - the experience may help her to appreciate how good your relationship and life in general is. Appreciating your current life now is a lot better than realizing, years later, that you took your happiness for granted when you were young.

Take some time to read some mushroom experience reports both here and at Erowid - both good and bad experiences. You will read some accounts and think - I had a bad time, but it wasn't as bad as this guy! Personally, I find reading accounts of difficult experiences helps to deal with my own - I am more accepting of going with the flow, don't take the trip too seriously, and try not to fight the effects.

You mention that you felt "not nearly as spiritually advanced as I had once entertained". All the thoughts you are having sound like a normal, intelligent  person questioning life, themselves and the people they know. If you are particularly interested in philosophical ideas, more than your friends, try reading a good introduction to the subject, such as Philosophy - The Basics by Nigel Warburton. The main idea of philosophy is thinking clearly, not learning facts. Pondering abstract ideas can help put your own life in perspective. That's assuming you aren't already studying the subject at college! Also, it's possible your college library might have interesting books on the Philosophy of Mind - covering topics such as What is Consciousness? How does the brain create mental experience? Can machines think? and so on. It often reads like science fiction, but a lot is based on science fact, brain experiments and so on. Psychedelic experience gives you a good window into these kind of topics.

You are right that college is a good opportunity, and as you say, there are a lot worse things you could be doing right now. Take the opportunity to have fun and experiment with shrooms, but don't forget why you're at college in the first place. If you find that the weed, the mushrooms or anything else is affecting your ability to work, give it a rest for a while. And I seriously advise you to avoid driving under the influence of any drug - weed, alcohol, prescription meds that say "do not drive" on the packet. Even if you can control your vehicle OK, an accident may occur that isn't your fault (say a child  appears from nowhere and makes a crater in your windshield) and it will make for a very traumatic experience far worse than any mushroom trip, especially if the police suspect that you are "on something".

As for your friends, try and accept them for who they are. If you expect people to be all-round great guys with no character flaws, you will almost always be  disappointed. Also, don't listen to what strangers tell you on message boards. I am quite, quite insane. :nut:


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I wrote that, but I meant something else


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OfflineMind Transcribing
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Re: Six eyes and Self-sustaining lawn mowing - PART TWO - Seeking Advice! [Re: Mind Transcribing]
    #11648361 - 12/14/09 02:01 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Well I've been taking it slow and this big break from mushrooms has really helped. My anxiety is pretty faded now and rarely comes up, and when it does I can usually find out where the source is and deal with it.

I was sitting around in my house and decided to rake some leaves for my parents, gave me some positive vibes, and then I got to thinking about my bad trip. I realized that if it wasn't for my bad trip, I woulden't have found the shroomery!

I woulden't have done all this research and read hundreds of trip reports and be motivated to meditate on my problems! I'd still be totally blind to the power of shrooms and isolated from this community, it hit me that the bad trip was one of the best possible outcomes. My understanding of shrooms has really expanded ten fold and there's a helluva lot more to learn.

Things really are looking up latley, so I think I'm almost ready to brave the waters again.

You're right about the driving Ald, there's really too much to risk and I don't wanna be responsible for sombodys death. I've basically been doing everything else you said before I read your post, trying to let go and not fight what's happening, much easier said than done  :penguindog:


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