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Registered: 11/07/09
Posts: 41
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
Salvia, Space cakes, Shrooms. On the beach. In the inner cosmos.
    #11415665 - 11/09/09 02:04 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Note: this was written in August within a couple days of the trip.

On Wednesday, I went to the beach. I went with the intention of learning everything about myself, about my biases, my fears, my aspirations, etc. I smoked salvia divinorum first; a light and faint giddiness was felt. I then ingested a highly potent marijuana cake. Following this, I took over 5.5 grams of extremely high quality psilocybin mushrooms (not cubensis).

After about 30 minutes of laying on the sand, the cake had already taken hold of me--I was numb and warm. Then at the 45 minute mark the mushrooms began to take off. The sky had turned green, and the sand spun in random patterns, while a "coating" of red, green, and blue fell over the sand. I got up and went over to the water and stood there for only a minute. I hurried back to my base location and fell down. For the next 2 hours or so I don't know what happened. A droning noise creeped up, and a black cloud came over. I entered a blackness, a nothingness never before experienced.

When I "woke up" I had become a bright energy orb, sailing through a fractal vortex, with wild turns and bright colors. I saw a white nothingness at the end of the vortex; images of the Buddha and words from the I-Ching came out at me. As I came within "inches" of the whiteness, I shot out of the vortex in reverse and, almost as if I were shot out of the atmosphere, I glided for a bit--overseeing hundreds of vortexes, all of them leading to the same white nothingness.

I then sailed through time. Memories of my childhood mixed freely with recent memories. I then began to glitch. I was caught up in a loop of eternity--my ego had been dissolved, I did not exist. The same images replayed over and over, and I was convinced I was going to be like that forever--and that death was impossible.

After 20 minutes of that loop, which felt like days, I got up and by my friends accounts--I fell again--and began punching the sand, cursing at it. At this time I had entered hell. Featureless, silhouettes of people...were killing each other, raping each other, and cannibalizing each other.

After another period of nothingness...everything was One. Everything was interconnected. Everyone was one race; I saw DNA--the double helix made up of people.

I ended up walking around and getting lost from my trip friend. After another two hours of "time travel" and glitches--I was back--kind of. I was relearning who I was. Thoughts stopped in my head--there was mostly only silence--with the exception of repetitions of "Who am I?" and "What?".

Getting home about 9 hours after the trip began (previously, I had only had trips lasting 5-6), I was still tripping, slightly. The walls were morphing, colors shot out of the white ceiling.

I am still in shock. The universe just behind our noses and between our ears is a spectacle we never appreciate and hardly understand. The universe within is bigger than us--more complicated and awe-inspiring than one can imagine.
The biggest lesson I learned Wednesday was forgiveness. I learned everything about myself--my fears, my biases, my insecurities, and my prejudices.

People come and debate about the gods--for what? Deep down we're just domesticated primates in an indifferent universe--and that's a very upsetting concept. To escape the existential glum, we turn to faith or some idealized spiritual concept that we have. Its not easy to embrace your freedom, responsibility, nor your abandonment on some dirt spec in the ever-expanding universe.
I think it's important that we become more honest with ourselves--and dump our gods in the trash. We know they're nonsense and only good for "feeling like I have meaning". We need to escape the subscription-to-zen life and actually live authentically. Reclaim our minds and stop following the big arrow of culture--which only leads civilizations down the road of degradation, war, impoverishment,the inauthentic, and death.

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Registered: 06/10/09
Posts: 321
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
Re: Salvia, Space cakes, Shrooms. On the beach. In the inner cosmos. [Re: Psychonot2329]
    #11424245 - 11/10/09 06:37 AM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Fucking 5-star trip report man!

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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics >> The Psychedelic Experience >> Trip Reports

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