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Offlineclaraclairvoyant
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Can two unhappy people be happy together?
    #11411492 - 11/08/09 04:13 PM (8 years, 11 days ago)

Someone disagreed with me last night when I said that two unhappy people can not be happy in a relationship together. I've grown to strongly believe this. Maybe they can be happy for a while but it will only be filling a void in a sense and not last long. Both people will still be unhappy and the relationship could never really work. What do you honestly think?


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OfflineRipVanWinkle
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Re: Can two unhappy people be happy together? [Re: claraclairvoyant] * 1
    #11411501 - 11/08/09 04:15 PM (8 years, 11 days ago)

If both of the people are unhappy, but being together is the only thing that DOES make them happy, then yes.  It can work.

If they're just perpetually unhappy even when they're together, then no, they will never last and neither will anything else other than their own misery.


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Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.



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InvisibleStriplessRED

Registered: 09/05/07
Posts: 554
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Re: Can two unhappy people be happy together? [Re: claraclairvoyant]
    #11411503 - 11/08/09 04:16 PM (8 years, 11 days ago)

I think it would be hard for anyone to answer this unless they have been in this situation.
However, I believe that two unhappy could be happy together, but I'm being optimistic today.


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InvisibleSittingBull
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Re: Can two unhappy people be happy together? [Re: claraclairvoyant]
    #11411511 - 11/08/09 04:17 PM (8 years, 11 days ago)

Honestly, I agree with you.
two unhappy people = one unhappy relationship.
For a relationship to ever be really fulfilling for either party they both have to know how to make themselves happy before making the other person happy.


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InvisibleMisterMuscaria
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Re: Can two unhappy people be happy together? [Re: claraclairvoyant]
    #11411514 - 11/08/09 04:17 PM (8 years, 11 days ago)

It depends.
If they become a source of eachother's happyness they could really help each other.
If they are one more thing that drives the other person to further unhappyness, then no.


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Offlineclaraclairvoyant
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Re: Can two unhappy people be happy together? [Re: RipVanWinkle]
    #11411518 - 11/08/09 04:18 PM (8 years, 11 days ago)

Quote:

RipVanWinkle said:
If both of the people are unhappy, but being together is the only thing that DOES make them happy, then yes.  It can work.

.



That's the thing I'm having a problem with. I don't agree, I think that's a really bad reason for people to be together. :shrug:


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Invisiblepwnasaurus
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Re: Can two unhappy people be happy together? [Re: StriplessRED]
    #11411527 - 11/08/09 04:19 PM (8 years, 11 days ago)

Quote:

StriplessRED said:
I think it would be hard for anyone to answer this unless they have been in this situation.
However, I believe that two unhappy could be happy together, but I'm being optimistic today.




I guess it is POSSIBLE, but I would say pretty unlikely.

I know for myself, I have to be happy not in a relationship, and be completely happy with myself, before I can even start thinking about getting involved with someone.

I don't want to ever have to rely on someone else for my happiness.  That is a scary proposition, and leaves you extremely open for manipulation.


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Invisibledemiu5
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Re: Can two unhappy people be happy together? [Re: claraclairvoyant]
    #11411541 - 11/08/09 04:22 PM (8 years, 11 days ago)

Quote:

claraclairvoyant said:
Quote:

RipVanWinkle said:
If both of the people are unhappy, but being together is the only thing that DOES make them happy, then yes.  It can work.

.



That's the thing I'm having a problem with. I don't agree, I think that's a really bad reason for people to be together. :shrug:






i agree with this here and your original post


i'm from a divorced family and have had many friends with fucked up family units, both together and divorced.  healthy relationships stem from self loving and accepting people


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channel your inner Larry David


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Invisiblefrith
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Re: Can two unhappy people be happy together? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11411567 - 11/08/09 04:26 PM (8 years, 11 days ago)

i think two unhappy people can have a happy relationship. its not going to be the same type of happy that everyone else sees though.

anyone see that movie American Splendor?


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Invisibletiny_rabid_birds
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Re: Can two unhappy people be happy together? [Re: claraclairvoyant]
    #11411582 - 11/08/09 04:29 PM (8 years, 11 days ago)

i have trouble with the concept of "unhappy people".  the way you describe it, it goes beyond the average person who's unhappy from time to time.  you're talking about people who are unhappy at baseline.  i have trouble comprehending someone who is just perpetually unhappy, unless they're like clinically depressed.

i mean, if someone is consistently unhappy, they make changes, right?  maybe not.

i just can't seem to understand how someone could simply not be happy at baseline.


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OfflineSgtBob
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Re: Can two unhappy people be happy together? [Re: SittingBull]
    #11411587 - 11/08/09 04:30 PM (8 years, 11 days ago)

Quote:

claraclairvoyant said:
Quote:

RipVanWinkle said:
If both of the people are unhappy, but being together is the only thing that DOES make them happy, then yes.  It can work.

.



That's the thing I'm having a problem with. I don't agree, I think that's a really bad reason for people to be together. :shrug:




Quote:

SittingBull said:
For a relationship to ever be really fulfilling for either party they both have to know how to make THEMSELVES happy before making the other person happy.




to know others you must first know yourself


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Can the critics still deny that the geometry of matter is directly related to the harmonic interweaving of light itself? There is no substance, in the absolute sense. We live in a reality of un-reality; all is an illusion and the stuff that dreams are made of. Our physical world is nothing more than a resonating ball of light and shade."

"If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things through narrow chinks of his cavern."


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Offlineclaraclairvoyant
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Re: Can two unhappy people be happy together? [Re: frith]
    #11411598 - 11/08/09 04:32 PM (8 years, 11 days ago)

It's interesting reading everyone's opinions, there's obviously not a "right" or "wrong" answer.

Quote:

frith said:
i think two unhappy people can have a happy relationship. its not going to be the same type of happy that everyone else sees though.

anyone see that movie American Splendor?




No, I'd like to though.


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OfflineSgtBob
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Re: Can two unhappy people be happy together? [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
    #11411600 - 11/08/09 04:32 PM (8 years, 11 days ago)

Quote:

tiny_rabid_birds said:
i have trouble with the concept of "unhappy people".  the way you describe it, it goes beyond the average person who's unhappy from time to time.  you're talking about people who are unhappy at baseline.  i have trouble comprehending someone who is just perpetually unhappy, unless they're like clinically depressed.

i mean, if someone is consistently unhappy, they make changes, right?  maybe not.

i just can't seem to understand how someone could simply not be happy at baseline.




some people are unfortunately subconsciously addicted to unhappiness and chaos. Usually a product of the environment in which they grew up.


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Can the critics still deny that the geometry of matter is directly related to the harmonic interweaving of light itself? There is no substance, in the absolute sense. We live in a reality of un-reality; all is an illusion and the stuff that dreams are made of. Our physical world is nothing more than a resonating ball of light and shade."

"If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things through narrow chinks of his cavern."


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InvisibleEpilson Lyrae
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Re: Can two unhappy people be happy together? [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
    #11411605 - 11/08/09 04:33 PM (8 years, 11 days ago)

I know it can be tough to be in a relationship when one person is unhappy to the point where it makes the other unhappy. Then it's like someone said above; it's time to make a change.
dealing with someone who is clinically depressed and won't acknowledge it is a bitch.


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"Freedom is something that dies unless it's used." H.T.
I've come to believe that the heart is the filter of the enlightened mind. Epilson Lyrae


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Offlineclaraclairvoyant
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Re: Can two unhappy people be happy together? [Re: SgtBob]
    #11411626 - 11/08/09 04:37 PM (8 years, 11 days ago)

Quote:

SgtBob said:
Quote:

tiny_rabid_birds said:
i have trouble with the concept of "unhappy people".  the way you describe it, it goes beyond the average person who's unhappy from time to time.  you're talking about people who are unhappy at baseline.  i have trouble comprehending someone who is just perpetually unhappy, unless they're like clinically depressed.

i mean, if someone is consistently unhappy, they make changes, right?  maybe not.

i just can't seem to understand how someone could simply not be happy at baseline.




some people are unfortunately subconsciously addicted to unhappiness and chaos. Usually a product of the environment in which they grew up.



Well said, maybe not addicted to it but it's like it is all that they know. This doesn't apply to me but I know someone just like that.

I agree with a lot of other points you guys are making, I've always thought that someone should find a strong sense of inner happiness instead of depending on someone else for it. I don't consider myself really unhappy, I'm just not thrilled with my life at the moment. Jus sayin'


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OfflineSgtBob
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Re: Can two unhappy people be happy together? [Re: Epilson Lyrae]
    #11411633 - 11/08/09 04:38 PM (8 years, 11 days ago)

Ya but more frustrating is someone who acknowledges it and just makes excuses to continue being a crazy psychotic depressed individual.


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Can the critics still deny that the geometry of matter is directly related to the harmonic interweaving of light itself? There is no substance, in the absolute sense. We live in a reality of un-reality; all is an illusion and the stuff that dreams are made of. Our physical world is nothing more than a resonating ball of light and shade."

"If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things through narrow chinks of his cavern."


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Invisibletiny_rabid_birds
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Re: Can two unhappy people be happy together? [Re: claraclairvoyant]
    #11411646 - 11/08/09 04:40 PM (8 years, 11 days ago)

to me there's a huge difference with being unhappy where you currently are in life versus just plain unhappy.  the just plain unhappy is what confuses me.


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Offlineclaraclairvoyant
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Re: Can two unhappy people be happy together? [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
    #11411661 - 11/08/09 04:43 PM (8 years, 11 days ago)

Quote:

tiny_rabid_birds said:
to me there's a huge difference with being unhappy where you currently are in life versus just plain unhappy.  the just plain unhappy is what confuses me.



agreed. but like sgtbob was saying, i think plain unhappiness really just stems from a poor childhood. that's not always the case though, a lot of people can overcome that.


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OfflineSgtBob
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Re: Can two unhappy people be happy together? [Re: claraclairvoyant]
    #11411683 - 11/08/09 04:46 PM (8 years, 11 days ago)

I think everyone has the ability to overcome, and to be happy. Really what it comes down to is flippin on that happy switch in your head. Perception is a strong tool.


--------------------
Can the critics still deny that the geometry of matter is directly related to the harmonic interweaving of light itself? There is no substance, in the absolute sense. We live in a reality of un-reality; all is an illusion and the stuff that dreams are made of. Our physical world is nothing more than a resonating ball of light and shade."

"If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things through narrow chinks of his cavern."


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Invisiblefrith
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Re: Can two unhappy people be happy together? [Re: claraclairvoyant]
    #11411838 - 11/08/09 05:14 PM (8 years, 11 days ago)

Quote:

claraclairvoyant said:
No, I'd like to though.




Harvey Pekar and his wife seem like they are the most miserable people on earth. they got married on the 3rd date and have been together for 20 years.

misery loves company... sometimes.


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