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InvisibleOrgoneConclusion
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I wanna be a Taoist Master!
    #11369701 - 11/02/09 04:22 PM (8 years, 16 days ago)

Aspiring model pleasures Taoist Master
By Lester Haines

2nd November 2009 13:10 GMT

A Hong Kong model, whose career was evidently not going too well, was told by her agent that he happened to know a Taoist Mao Shan master with the power to grant her success - providing she had ritual sex with him.

Unfortunately, the guru in question was actually 55-year-old truck driver Au Yeung Kwok-fu, and the unnamed 19-year-old succeeded only in getting pregnant during nine encounters involving oral sex and intercourse.

According to the South China Morning Post, the teenager's agency boss "brought up the topic of changing her luck during a phone conversation" in April 2007, and suggested she meet the master for an intimate consultation

She explained: "Because we belonged to the entertainment business, the ritual involved oral sex, sexual intercourse and burning incense. This was a sort of Mao Shan style."

The first ritual took place shortly after at a house in North Point, where Au Yeung "asked the model to follow him into a room, where he asked her to remove her clothes". With the agent and a friend also on hand to monitor proceedings, Au Yeung "then used fu - written talismans - to mark her body".

Au Yeung then got his kit off, requested oral sex, and had full sex with the model during the fifteen-minute rendezvous. She noted that the master had rather generously not asked for payment for his services, but she gave him HK$200 for his trouble anyway.

She later became worried about the possibility of getting in the family way, and rang Au Yeung, who assured her he "had the supernatural power to keep me from getting pregnant".

He didn't, and eight further rituals resulted in the poor girl up the duff and Au Yeung hauled before the beak this week on nine counts of "procuring unlawful sexual acts by false pretences".

The defendant pleaded not guilty to the charges, but since his victim aborted the pregnancy and DNA tests linked the foetus back to its father, it's likely that his days as a Mao Shan practitioner are at an end.

The aspiring clotheshorse told the court she'd "never suspected the credibility of the ceremony", and admitted: "I believed he could help me change the luck in my career."


The name Kwok Fu should have tipped her off right there. :yesnod:


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InvisibleChronic7
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Re: I wanna be a Taoist Master! [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #11369742 - 11/02/09 04:27 PM (8 years, 16 days ago)

Quote:

OrgoneConclusion said:
"This was a sort of Mao Shan style."





'sort of'

:rofl:


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Offlinesamossa
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Registered: 09/22/09
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Re: I wanna be a Taoist Master! [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #11369751 - 11/02/09 04:28 PM (8 years, 16 days ago)

OK, now I think I have officially seen everything...


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InvisibleOrgoneConclusion
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Re: I wanna be a Taoist Master! [Re: Chronic7]
    #11369773 - 11/02/09 04:29 PM (8 years, 16 days ago)

I will be practicing that line for next Saturday night. :naughty:


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: I wanna be a Taoist Master! [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #11369778 - 11/02/09 04:30 PM (8 years, 16 days ago)

Too bad he didn't get away with it. She deserves a Darwin award.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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InvisibleOrgoneConclusion
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Re: I wanna be a Taoist Master! [Re: samossa]
    #11369781 - 11/02/09 04:30 PM (8 years, 16 days ago)

He learned that trick from Swami Kriyananda who learned it from...


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Offlineandrewss
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Re: I wanna be a Taoist Master! [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #11369807 - 11/02/09 04:33 PM (8 years, 16 days ago)

:lol:


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InvisibleOrgoneConclusion
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Re: I wanna be a Taoist Master! [Re: Icelander]
    #11369809 - 11/02/09 04:33 PM (8 years, 16 days ago)

Quote:

Icelander said:
Too bad he didn't get away with it. She deserves a Darwin award.




I have bestowed many such 'blessings'. "Here is your man-tra, baby!"


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InvisibleChronic7
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Re: I wanna be a Taoist Master! [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #11369812 - 11/02/09 04:34 PM (8 years, 16 days ago)

My friend recently told me his new pickup technique
Approaching a girl, then claiming to be into tantric sex
Hes such a 'false guru'
All you can do is laugh really...

When he busts after the usual 30 seconds, she wont buy into it for much longer...


:peace:


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Edited by Chronic7 (11/02/09 04:57 PM)


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: I wanna be a Taoist Master! [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #11369933 - 11/02/09 04:51 PM (8 years, 16 days ago)

Quote:

OrgoneConclusion said:
He learned that trick from Swami Kriyananda who learned it from...




Boo!


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Offlinesimc
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Re: I wanna be a Taoist Master! [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #11371290 - 11/02/09 07:43 PM (8 years, 16 days ago)

The real Taoist masters claim to be able to deflect typhoons and to be able to have spirits take possession of their bodies and deliver speeches to the audience in the temple.


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: I wanna be a Taoist Master! [Re: simc]
    #11371370 - 11/02/09 07:56 PM (8 years, 16 days ago)

Jesus can kick their asses.:satansmoking:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: I wanna be a Taoist Master! [Re: simc]
    #11371382 - 11/02/09 07:58 PM (8 years, 16 days ago)

Quote:

simc said:
The real Taoist masters claim to be able to deflect typhoons and to be able to have spirits take possession of their bodies and deliver speeches to the audience in the temple.




NO.  A real Taoist would pay my electric bill and not get proud.  Pay it Bitch!  I mean thank you Tao man...WTF late fee you suck.  Quit making promises you can't deliver like possession of your body.  Tao Man stay away from my house I will kick your flipping promising you know what.


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Offlinedeff
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Re: I wanna be a Taoist Master! [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #11371392 - 11/02/09 08:00 PM (8 years, 16 days ago)

^ bad experience with a taoist master?


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InvisibleBand of Gypsys
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Re: I wanna be a Taoist Master! [Re: simc]
    #11371408 - 11/02/09 08:02 PM (8 years, 16 days ago)

Quote:

simc said:
have spirits take possession of their bodies and deliver speeches to the audience in the temple.




Why would spirits want to deliver speeches? :confused:


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: I wanna be a Taoist Master! [Re: Band of Gypsys]
    #11371416 - 11/02/09 08:03 PM (8 years, 16 days ago)

To get paid silly.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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InvisibleOrgoneConclusion
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Re: I wanna be a Taoist Master! [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #11371477 - 11/02/09 08:09 PM (8 years, 16 days ago)

A real Taoist Master would make me some nice whole-wheat taost with jam.


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OfflineMr.Al
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Re: I wanna be a Taoist Master! [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #11371518 - 11/02/09 08:13 PM (8 years, 16 days ago)

He is no master.

Fifteen minutes is pathetic.

I can go for hours.


The Taoist techniques for sex do work real well.


You should try them O.C.  They work a whole lot better than the pills that gullible people buy...:lol:


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: I wanna be a Taoist Master! [Re: Icelander]
    #11371564 - 11/02/09 08:19 PM (8 years, 16 days ago)

Quote:

Icelander said:
To get paid silly.




Pay my electric bill it's getting cold Master.


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InvisibleOrgoneConclusion
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Re: I wanna be a Taoist Master! [Re: Mr.Al]
    #11371616 - 11/02/09 08:27 PM (8 years, 16 days ago)

Two popsicle sticks and masking tape is my method.


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