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Anonymous #1

Lonely and miserable
    #11362964 - 11/01/09 04:16 PM (8 years, 19 days ago)

Its that time again. Friends just drift away. Live in another town, or just mind their own business. I don't remember when was the last time anyone called me, or especially called me to hang out. One of my friend staid in my city for one weekend, but he never called me, I found out later.
It seems that only friend I had was my GF, and that still didn't work out. She could be a great friend, if only she wouldn't be my ex.

I don't actually know how to find new friends also, just thinking about going out to actually find someone makes me feel miserable. People don't go out to find someone, people go out because they like going out. I like it too, but I just don't have anybody to go out with. If you go to clubs and places alone, people look at you with suspicious eye, like, why are you alone. Sometimes i go out to a bar, only to find a quick return home, because I feel uncomfortable just sitting or standing there all of my own, start a conversation with someone and fail. So I just grab a bottle and drink home, because buzz eases things, thoughts.

Every human connection I have or have had, is distanced away. So when i come home from school or work, I just sit and browse the internet, or paint something, trying to do something creative. But I can't be like this forever. Every time I read or hear how someone is going out or how great night they had, makes me feel jelaus.

Human connection is somehow essential for me. But not the feeling that you could just die and nobody would actually care.


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OfflineJustin_c17
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Registered: 08/22/09
Posts: 519
Loc: Georgia, U.S
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: Lonely and miserable [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11363024 - 11/01/09 04:23 PM (8 years, 19 days ago)

This is a lonely and miserable club. No telling how long the cycle could go on. Friends too far away to hang with, you feel too awkward to go out and meet people alone.

I'm with you. The advice I was given was when you go out by yourself don't think about what other people think about you. Just go out and stay out for awhile. Maybe when you go to stores and stuff talk to people in line, or if you buy a lot of books you can talk to the people in the same sections. Making new friends is only as hard as you make it(or so I have been told).


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If anything typed above is about me participating in illegal activities it is either a joke or a lie. <img src="https://files.shroomery.org/smileys/w0ahhhhmahnnn.gif" alt=":w0ahhhhmahnnn:" title=":w0ahhhhmahnnn:"/>


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Anonymous #2

Re: Lonely and miserable [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11363036 - 11/01/09 04:25 PM (8 years, 19 days ago)

i been there a million times before.

first, dont fall into the trap of drinking or getting high to feel better...thats a bad, bad lonely path.

second, dont spend your time at bars and clubs if you dont have anyone to go with. do something more constructive. something on par with taking a pottery class but not as gay. (i always thought fencing would be cool)

also, something that i've found myself doing in these situations is being defensive and unfriendly in these situations because i'm afraid people are judging me for being alone. make sure a smile isnt that far from your facial expressions, be extra friendly and spark conversations with people

GL

EDIT: also, remember that people arent judging you as much as you think they are. one thing i've found that helps with this is to not judge other people so much. by doing this it somehow helps you feel less judged and self conscious.


Edited by Anonymous (11/01/09 04:27 PM)


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OfflineOzekat
Cosmic Observer
Male


Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 186
Loc: Kentucky
Last seen: 4 years, 11 months
Re: Lonely and miserable [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #11373399 - 11/03/09 12:25 AM (8 years, 17 days ago)

Where do you live? http://www.sgi.org/ Look for one near you, bro.

I guarantee it will get you on your feet.


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Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.
- Chinese Proverb

:teleport:

:yinyang: Beauty & Simplicity


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OfflineSomnivore7
Psychonaut


Registered: 11/02/09
Posts: 190
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Re: Lonely and miserable [Re: Ozekat]
    #11373470 - 11/03/09 12:32 AM (8 years, 17 days ago)

Kill yourself?


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No one ever becomes what others thought they should have been.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Lonely and miserable [Re: Somnivore7]
    #11375062 - 11/03/09 09:06 AM (8 years, 17 days ago)

I have thought about that. I actually have unnatural urge to die, without any particular reason, not just loneliness. But I have never tried it and probably don't ever. I always live with the thought why kill yourself today, maybe just drag on for a week.
Once I came from a party, was drunk and somehow pissed, woke up in a deserted old building in the middle of nowhere -- I went there to cut my arterias, but luckily i didn't find my knife, thought I forgot it. At home i discovered I still had it. Lucky me. Had serious thoughts about cutting myself, and no-one would have knowns where I was.


Yesterday a funny thing happened. My ex invited me over, I spend the nigt (nothing overly sexual happened, we just hold each other) and today she told me she kind of dumped her crush. I wonder what it meant.


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OfflineHumility
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Re: Lonely and miserable [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11375081 - 11/03/09 09:14 AM (8 years, 17 days ago)

^

You're being fucking retarded, don't start that.

You know EXACTLY what it means and when things happen in life I've found it's never by accident or mistake, especially not things like that.

Now get your lonely, sad ass back into a relationship with your old friend with the vag and once you stable out (make it quick) start making NEW friends.  The both of you should go hang out with each others' friend circles, and as someone else here mentioned, if you have few friends start making new ones by way of doing activities with other people.

I tend to be more happy alone, but I too have found that I need to start expanding my social circles and reconnecting with old friends.  Be smart and safe m8.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Lonely and miserable [Re: Humility]
    #11375118 - 11/03/09 09:33 AM (8 years, 17 days ago)

Quote:

Humility said:
^

You're being fucking retarded, don't start that.

You know EXACTLY what it means and when things happen in life I've found it's never by accident or mistake, especially not things like that.

Now get your lonely, sad ass back into a relationship with your old friend with the vag and once you stable out (make it quick) start making NEW friends.  The both of you should go hang out with each others' friend circles, and as someone else here mentioned, if you have few friends start making new ones by way of doing activities with other people.

I tend to be more happy alone, but I too have found that I need to start expanding my social circles and reconnecting with old friends.  Be smart and safe m8.





EXACTLY?  Actually I don't know that exactly, what it means. She has other exes, with whom she hangs out with. And we have been broke-up before.


But I so enjoyed being with her, holding her, it was a good feeling, I wish i could do it more often.
Anyway, I red that relationships that don't have much circle of friends surrounding them, tend to last less. There comes a point when both parties get bored. Like Vonnegut said: In the old times, relationships were better, because there were larger families, that meant that both parties had lots of new people to talk with. Women share their women stuff, nagiing etc, and men can drink beer.
When there is not much circle of friends, there comes a point when there is lack of freshness and people may find each other uninteresting.


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Invisiblerod
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Registered: 06/29/05
Posts: 3,727
Re: Lonely and miserable [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11387597 - 11/04/09 10:52 PM (8 years, 15 days ago)

Hey dude, I know it sounds like the same shit about life getting better, but it will people.
Life is good, when you go out alone no one is judging you its just yourself thinking that
singles are everywhere.

The key is not to give up. Every day is a new adventure, new people to meet.

Do this for the next few days, every stranger you meet just say hello.
Most will say hello back, and just keep meeting and enjoying life.

I tried to kill myself in 1986. Fuck thank God I did not succeed,
there would have been so many people and fun times I would not have had.

I look forward to waking up and breathing a new breath, and meeting
new people and having new times.

Good luck dudes.
Rodney


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Anonymous #3

Re: Lonely and miserable [Re: rod]
    #11388668 - 11/05/09 02:46 AM (8 years, 15 days ago)

Don't worry about distance of any sort. Flow through life. Experience everyone individually. You are an individual.

Don't bother with worry, fear, regret, hurt, loneliness. You are in control of your life and your mind.

There is no reason to ever conform to the know everyone, befriend all mentality. See your mind as a jar, every time you meet someone, it's a gem dropped in the jar. A connection to a greater web, a difference made, a ripple in the pond.


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Invisible4bin
Sofa Gazer


Registered: 02/23/05
Posts: 122
Loc: 46 & 2
Re: Lonely and miserable [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #11395184 - 11/06/09 02:00 AM (8 years, 14 days ago)

Hey man, sorry to hear about how you're feeling. I've totally been there.

First piece of advice, stop the "just-end-it-all" thoughts as soon as you notice them creeping in. It isn't worth it. Back in the way way long ago, I let the thought take hold, rammed my car into a tree at a retardedly high speed, and will forever live with a serious neck injury. What you're feeling will totally pass - instead of giving up, convert that angst into the drive you need to change your situation.

Second piece of advice. Let me start by saying - I know this might seem like a total nerd move, but it really seems to work. Start posting up at the pub with a book you really like and just sit there, sip a drink slowly, and read. People will look at you, but 90% of the time they're just trying to see what you're reading.

Without fail, I always had a cool person start chatting with me, and I almost always ended up with at least a really great conversation. In a couple instances, I ended up with a serious friend.

Reading at a pub is not so strange really, but people will take a look at what you're reading. If they notice you're reading something they like, they'll want to strike up a conversation. The best part is that you're guaranteed to have something to talk about.

Sorry if the advice is totally lame-o - I just hope you find a way to connect with folks and start feeling better. Trust me, if you hold on and wait it out, it will pass - not that it makes the waiting any easier. Peace man.


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I grow legal edibles only. Fresh Shiitake are the bee's knees - like, straight from the fridge.


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Invisiblerebus_minus
Registered: 05/15/09
Posts: 667
Re: Lonely and miserable [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11395310 - 11/06/09 02:33 AM (8 years, 14 days ago)

Valleys and peaks you know. It will get better again.

Just hang in there and do your best. Suddenly spring is here.

Friends come and go.


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