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OfflineAhimsa
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Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 1,817
Last seen: 2 months, 20 days
This is truth...
    #11332125 - 10/27/09 04:26 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Self Abandonment

To abandon is to leave behind what is in fact our responsibility.
Our well-being is our own responsibility.
When we make others responsible for our feelings, we feel abandonned when they don't take this responsibility.
As an adult only you can abandon yourself.
So how might we abandon ourself?


Judging Ourself

When we judge ourself with thoughts about us being small, unimportant, unworthy of love, incapable of self-defence, etc...
In the same way a small child feels abandoned when the parents are cruel, so our inner child feels abandoned when we judge ourself.
Self-judgement creates feelings of fear, hurt, etc...
What do we do next whit these painful feelings because of our self-judgement?


Ignoring Our Feelings

When we feel hurt, sad or fearful, what do we do?
Do we explore these feelings to discover what we are telling ourself or doing to cause them?
Or do we avoid them with addictive behaviour?

When we ignore our feelings and turn to addictive behaviour we again are abandoning ourself.
It is very common to project this self-abandonment onto others and feel abandoned by others.
Yet, the feeling of abandonment is caused by ourself.


Making Others Responsible For Us

Once we judge ourself and then ignore the pain we cause to ourself, it is likely we turn to others for the love we are not giving ourself.
Our inner child needs love. When we abandon ourself, our inner child turns to others for that love.
Because the inner child is desperately needy for love, it may become manipulative to get that love.
Either by becoming angry and abusive, or by becoming overly nice and compliant.
We have indeed handed our inner child away to others for care-taking, hoping they will give the love we need.
We become addicted to approval, attention or sex.

The more we make others responsible for giving the love or attention, the more the inner child feels abandoned.
Leading to more addictive behaviour to avoid the pain or our self-abandonment.


The Way Out

We start to pay attention to our feelings. Put the attention inwardly instead of outwardly.
We can notice what we are doing that is causing these painful feelings. What thoughts give rise to these feelings?
What we are thinking is not true and is not in our highest good!

We should ask ourself instead, "What is the truth here? What am i doing or saying to myself?"
Notice the difference in how we feel when we tell ourself the truth rather than judge ourself, ignore ourself and make others responsible for our feelings.


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OfflineSpiral11235
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Registered: 10/16/09
Posts: 34
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
Re: This is truth... [Re: Ahimsa]
    #11332148 - 10/27/09 04:31 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

This was a very nice read :smile:.

People really do throw all of their power away, blaming others and everything but themselves for their own problems.

If people wrote down all the things they didn't like about other people, and then changed those other people to themselves, they'd probably see some correlations..

Inner-work needs to come first :smile:


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OfflineBrainChemistry
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Registered: 06/20/07
Posts: 3,657
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Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
Re: This is truth... [Re: Ahimsa]
    #11332216 - 10/27/09 05:10 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

We should ask ourself instead, "What is the truth here? What am i doing or saying to myself?"




Really it does not even involve asking....it only involves seeing.

Stop and actually look at how what you are thinking, how you are behaving, what you are doing. Don't judge any of this. Don't say...this is good, that is bad. Simply stop and observe what you actually are.

When you see that....this thought gives rise to that feeling....and, this set of conditioning gives rise to that set of judgments, which cause you to behave in such and such way...such that you are unhappy...when you see how all of this is connected and actually understand it, then you will also see what you have to do to change.

Also.....people need to remember that this change may not be immediate. Deconstructing an entire life of bad habits and cultural conditioning isn't easy.


--------------------
Word to your mom.


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OfflineSpiral11235
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Registered: 10/16/09
Posts: 34
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
Re: This is truth... [Re: BrainChemistry]
    #11332341 - 10/27/09 05:38 PM (8 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

BrainChemistry said:
Quote:

We should ask ourself instead, "What is the truth here? What am i doing or saying to myself?"




Really it does not even involve asking....it only involves seeing.

Stop and actually look at how what you are thinking, how you are behaving, what you are doing. Don't judge any of this. Don't say...this is good, that is bad. Simply stop and observe what you actually are.

When you see that....this thought gives rise to that feeling....and, this set of conditioning gives rise to that set of judgments, which cause you to behave in such and such way...such that you are unhappy...when you see how all of this is connected and actually understand it, then you will also see what you have to do to change.

Also.....people need to remember that this change may not be immediate. Deconstructing an entire life of bad habits and cultural conditioning isn't easy.




These are good words. This has got me thinking.. deeper and deeper.


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