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OfflineJustin_c17
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Registered: 08/22/09
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Crying Mom
    #11326926 - 10/26/09 09:12 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Last night I stayed at my parents house because I drank too much and couldn't drive.

While I was in bed I heard sobbing from the floor below. I could instantly tell it was my Mom.

How do I bring this up? I know she has depression, but the sound of her crying made me sick at my stomach. I want to help her so bad that every time I think about it I get sick.

Can someone please help me? I am normally good at this stuff but now for some reason I don't know what to say or do. I really want her to at least be happier than she is now. Please help, thanks


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If anything typed above is about me participating in illegal activities it is either a joke or a lie. <img src="https://files.shroomery.org/smileys/w0ahhhhmahnnn.gif" alt=":w0ahhhhmahnnn:" title=":w0ahhhhmahnnn:"/>


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InvisibleSimplicitry
Just another mushroom lover
Male


Registered: 05/23/09
Posts: 1,070
Re: Crying Mom [Re: Justin_c17]
    #11326956 - 10/26/09 09:19 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Justin_c17 said:
Last night I stayed at my parents house because I drank too much and couldn't drive.

While I was in bed I heard sobbing from the floor below. I could instantly tell it was my Mom.

How do I bring this up? I know she has depression, but the sound of her crying made me sick at my stomach. I want to help her so bad that every time I think about it I get sick.

Can someone please help me? I am normally good at this stuff but now for some reason I don't know what to say or do. I really want her to at least be happier than she is now. Please help, thanks




I am really sorry to hear that. It's very unfortunate, and I really hope the best for you, and your mother. My advice would be to get together with your family, and all the people that genuinly care about her, and talk with her. Not in a way that makes her feel cornered, or upset. But, in a way that lets her know that you all love, and care for her, and want to see her happy.

Proffesional help is always the best idea. Depression is a sickness, and people often times have a physical illness (hormonal inbalance, or any other number of things) that make it so they truely cannot feel happiness. Therefore it is no different than any other illness, and is very worthy of medical attention.

Do you know what causes her depression are? Does she suffer from drug abuse or alcoholism?


--------------------

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants."

I think we should cut all the social parasites from their welfare checks. Then they will either find a means to support themselves or starve to death, either of wich is good for the economy and society.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

"Islam in a man is worse then rabies in a dog"


Edited by Simplicitry (10/26/09 10:30 PM)


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Offlinelines
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Re: Crying Mom [Re: Simplicitry]
    #11326998 - 10/26/09 09:26 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

IM not sure that professional help is the best idea, nmy mother committed suicide after taking antideppressant medication and antideppressants are said to sometimes increase the risk of suicide.

Is your mother happy with her marriage? Maybe she should get a divorce if she is not happy.

Maybe she needs to find a spiritual community to be a member of.

Whats her situation/situations?


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InvisiblePoid
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Re: Crying Mom [Re: Justin_c17]
    #11327201 - 10/26/09 09:58 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

I suggest yoga: Real-Yoga


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.


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InvisibleSimplicitry
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Re: Crying Mom [Re: lines]
    #11327457 - 10/26/09 10:29 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

lines said:
IM not sure that professional help is the best idea, nmy mother committed suicide after taking antideppressant medication and antideppressants are said to sometimes increase the risk of suicide.

Is your mother happy with her marriage? Maybe she should get a divorce if she is not happy.

Maybe she needs to find a spiritual community to be a member of.

Whats her situation/situations?




Sorry about your mother as well. That is really to bad. When I said professional help I didn't necessarily mean medication. I think that alot of medications for mental illness are very dangerous.

I think it would usually be good to be evaluated by a professional though to try, and determine if it is a physiological problem like a hormone imbalance, or if it has more to do with environment, in which case counseling or spiritual guidance would be very helpful.


--------------------

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants."

I think we should cut all the social parasites from their welfare checks. Then they will either find a means to support themselves or starve to death, either of wich is good for the economy and society.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

"Islam in a man is worse then rabies in a dog"


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InvisibleTODAY
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Registered: 09/25/03
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Re: Crying Mom [Re: Justin_c17]
    #11327920 - 10/26/09 11:27 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

You aren't the only one with this problem.  :hug:

I'm convinced my mother is a lost cause.  I try to avoid her as much as possible.  It is very hard to deal with somebody who has manic mood swings that go from highs to lows on a daily basis.  I don't know how bad your mom is, but try to help her understand that she should see a psychiatrist and get an evaluation, if it isn't a hormone or drug abuse issue (primary care doctor can do hormone tests).

Good luck.


--------------------

ca'rouse (k-rouz)
intr.v.
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.


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InvisibleCyanicist
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Registered: 10/08/09
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Re: Crying Mom [Re: TODAY]
    #11328579 - 10/27/09 01:05 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

My mom is the same way..... *sigh*

Someone already said it, but:  Does your mom have any addictions at all?  Like alcohol?  My mom has always drank, but went over the edge a year or two back.  Coinciding, of course, with heavier depression.

Are you close with your mom?  YOU should probably talk to her first - 1 on 1.  Don't drag too many people into this if there's no threat of suicide or anything like that... If nothing works or she gets worse, then you can think about getting others involved.  Just ask her what's bothering her and go from there.  Be there for her.  Help her out!  If there's one thing I know, it MEANS THE WORLD to a depressed person (once they realize they're depressed, anyway) when there is someone there WANTING to help them out.  Many depressed people feel alone... that they are somehow different or more messed-up than the rest of the world.  BE THERE FOR HER!  Go get 'em, Tiger.


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: Crying Mom [Re: Justin_c17]
    #11330963 - 10/27/09 01:20 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Justin_c17 said:
Last night I stayed at my parents house because I drank too much and couldn't drive.

While I was in bed I heard sobbing from the floor below. I could instantly tell it was my Mom.

How do I bring this up? I know she has depression, but the sound of her crying made me sick at my stomach. I want to help her so bad that every time I think about it I get sick.

Can someone please help me? I am normally good at this stuff but now for some reason I don't know what to say or do. I really want her to at least be happier than she is now. Please help, thanks





If it was my mom, I would take some time aside to sit with her, and say, "Mom, If you are ever upset and need to talk, please know that you can talk to me about it." 

Depending on your relationship with her, you could let her know that you heard her crying and are concerned and want to help anyway you can. 

When my mom cries, I get emotional myself, so I can understand how you feel.  :heart:


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Invisiblerebus_minus
Registered: 05/15/09
Posts: 667
Re: Crying Mom [Re: Justin_c17]
    #11331951 - 10/27/09 04:03 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

First of all, I would never get a whole group together and corner her about something this personal.

Be around more. Offer to help her out a little bit if her life is very busy.

Send her an email where you describe what she has meant in your life to remind her of the good times that made everything worthwhile. Make her understand that you are grateful and that you genuinely care about her welfare.

Maybe you could ask her some questions about her life and about how she feels. Mothers often have a tendency to take on the martyr role, and then blind themselves from their own issues. So they worry constantly and this becomes a habit. Suddenly when the kids grow up, they are left with themselves and their own issues, but are not able to confront them. So the questions should relate to her inner life somehow to make her turn in on herself and settle back into herself.

Just don't ask her a general question and expect her to spill it all out by herself. The questions must be more specific, but not probing. It is very hard to open up a can of worms inside.

Not sure if this helps, but I tried my best.

Metta.


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InvisibleCyanicist
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Re: Crying Mom [Re: rebus_minus]
    #11335797 - 10/28/09 01:42 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

rebus_minus said:
Mothers often have a tendency to take on the martyr role, and then blind themselves from their own issues. So they worry constantly and this becomes a habit. Suddenly when the kids grow up, they are left with themselves and their own issues, but are not able to confront them. So the questions should relate to her inner life somehow to make her turn in on herself and settle back into herself.




Exactly.  Every word.


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OfflineTodcasil
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Re: Crying Mom [Re: MOTH]
    #11335961 - 10/28/09 02:24 AM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

MOTH said:
Quote:

Justin_c17 said:
Last night I stayed at my parents house because I drank too much and couldn't drive.

While I was in bed I heard sobbing from the floor below. I could instantly tell it was my Mom.

How do I bring this up? I know she has depression, but the sound of her crying made me sick at my stomach. I want to help her so bad that every time I think about it I get sick.

Can someone please help me? I am normally good at this stuff but now for some reason I don't know what to say or do. I really want her to at least be happier than she is now. Please help, thanks





If it was my mom, I would take some time aside to sit with her, and say, "Mom, If you are ever upset and need to talk, please know that you can talk to me about it." 

Depending on your relationship with her, you could let her know that you heard her crying and are concerned and want to help anyway you can. 

When my mom cries, I get emotional myself, so I can understand how you feel.  :heart:




I could not have said it better :thumbup:

Stress your need for her to feel as loved from you as you feel from her, over tea... then find out what is going on!  I wish with all of my being fiber that I had a mother crying downstairs form me, but alas, all I will have now are phantoms and memories :heart:

Love your mother so incredibly much that she thinks somethings up or that you want something :wink:  then just let her know that you want to help her feel better :heart:


--------------------
Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.


~Casil



:cactus:


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OfflineJustin_c17
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Registered: 08/22/09
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Re: Crying Mom [Re: Todcasil]
    #11340626 - 10/28/09 08:02 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Thanks everyone.


--------------------
If anything typed above is about me participating in illegal activities it is either a joke or a lie. <img src="https://files.shroomery.org/smileys/w0ahhhhmahnnn.gif" alt=":w0ahhhhmahnnn:" title=":w0ahhhhmahnnn:"/>


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Invisiblemagikgrl
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Re: Crying Mom [Re: Justin_c17]
    #11340702 - 10/28/09 08:16 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

It sucks to be in this club. :sad:


--------------------

"In the 60s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal...go figure."

Becoming human was not part of the plan...

I wish I could be as high as my tolerance-danlennon

Reality is a crutch for those that can't cope with drugs.


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OfflineDarkestone
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Re: Crying Mom [Re: magikgrl]
    #11341518 - 10/28/09 10:26 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Yes.  As a mother myself (who has suffered from severe depression)  I would like to add that NOTHING in this human world makes me feel better than when my son puts his arms around me and smiles up at me.

It would be like a light to my soul when I felt like ending it all. (several times) 

My depression was so bad at times that I would think of my kids and it wouldn't help.  I would have thoughts like "well, if i was gone they could find a new, better mommy, and they would be better off in the long run."  I felt like a poison to my family at these times.

Then my boy would come in and do something funny or be concerned with my crying "Oh, mommy...OK?  What happened baby?"  Literally a gift from God.  I would hold him and feel much better.  The depression wasn't Gone, but I felt better.

What finally ended my downward spiral for good though, was realizing that God was seeking me and opening myself up to him enough to let him in.

Sounds Corny but that's my experience.  Just my .02

If she is around today, and believes in God at all, have her check the link in my sig. 

It changes every day and today's happens to be very uplifting.:biggrin:

PLR
~Darke:rose:


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