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Offlinechrispc
Durban, SouthAfrica (Soon)

Registered: 08/05/02
Posts: 254
Loc: London, UK
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
Choose Life?
    #1131206 - 12/11/02 08:45 AM (14 years, 5 months ago)

Not sure what forum this kind of post belongs in so...

The more and more the months role by, the more the more the years role by. I have this voice in the back of my head saying in that Trainspotting fashion, "Choose Life." Quit the mind bending drugs and move on, you have had your fun. What do we class as mind bending? Hmmmm tricky. I would probably allow for E's to be taken perhaps once twice a year on special occasions. The odd spliff, a nice drink down the pub.

I think my mistake has been, and also my mental state rest's on this: Is the fact that I keep using psychedelics to force my ego out of myself. I think I'm actually learning something from this. In reality I learn f**k all. No thats actually not true. I think that psychedelics have taught me where I stand in life and thats no where. Nothing really matters, going on my new found faith of Buddhism this seems to fit in. Although with out the drugs. It's like the total perspective vortex in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. In this I mean psychedelics can put you in perspective of your life. However, to keep on doing this is crazy for me. I seemed to drift ever closer to insanity each time. It's time to choose life I think. I regularly attend meditation on thursdays at my local Buddhist centre. Sometimes I can come out of there after a long session and have a really good perspective on things and thats with out psychedelics. I think to myself why do I drift back to psychedelics when clearly this is the way to go now. My answer to that is I simply don't know. This is only psychedelics mind. I think I can get away with the usual stuff socially. I don't go out much raving, pubbing, so when I do I like to make the most of it.

Why am I typing this? I don't know, but it feels better that someone has read and heard this. I wonder how many of you are in similar situations? Or have even been in this train of thought multiple times, like I have.

Would be interesting to read your thoughts.


--------------------
"We are what we think.
All that we are arises with our
thoughts."

- Buddha in the Dhammapada -

ChrisC


Edited by chrispc (12/11/02 08:53 AM)


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Invisiblelittlestan
 User Gallery
Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 12/09/02
Posts: 23
Loc: Canada
You already have! [Re: chrispc]
    #1131256 - 12/11/02 09:41 AM (14 years, 5 months ago)

Hi Crispc,

If I may add my own opinion concerning your dilemma;

I believe you already have chosen life! You have taken on a very positive lifestyle(becoming Buddhist, regularly attending meditation, etc.) and aware of the lure of drugs and the effect thereof. Hence your conservative attitude on taking various psychedelia.

You have also shown much maturity, mainly in that you realize that taking said psychedelia will expand perceptions and outlooks on life, and not degrade such outlooks and perceptions.

I, in full honesty, believe that you are a prime example of someone who seeks life, but doesn't realize you are standing in the middle of it! You mix mind altering/expanding drugs with your outlook on life and are confused. Why? You do yourself more harm than good this way. Believe you are living your life to the fullest just by waking up and breathing the air around you, and see for yourself!

I'll leave off by saying that this probably won't be an answer of any kind to you (which it wasn't intended to be, merely my own opinion) but I hope it helps.

Remember, insanity is only a state of mind, not a reality!

Much love, Littlestan


--------------------


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InvisibleDreaMaTrix
Shaman I am

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 02/11/02
Posts: 3,125
Loc: Falling into place
Re: Choose Life? [Re: chrispc]
    #1131558 - 12/11/02 12:32 PM (14 years, 5 months ago)

Anyone can talk the talk, not everyone can walk the walk :wink:

DOn't dwell on things too much, the Earth is a fun place.

http://www.wf.net/~aardvark/ee/essays/wise_use.htm

http://www.wf.net/~aardvark/ee/essays/essay08.htm

http://www.wf.net/~aardvark/ee/essays/essay04.htm

If you're looking to find the key to the Universe, I have some bad news and some good news. The bad news is---there is no key to the Universe. The good news is--it has been left unlocked.

Good luck


 


--------------------





"We are the one's we have been waiting for" - Hopi saying


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Offlineesin
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Registered: 11/21/01
Posts: 1,275
Loc: Lysergia
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
Re: Choose Life? [Re: chrispc]
    #1131762 - 12/11/02 08:19 AM (14 years, 5 months ago)

I never experienced what you are talking about so i'm not in position to give you definite help.

However seems to me if you feel psychedelics are not the way to go to clarify what burdens you then they sure aren't.

Feeling this, why do you drift into using again?

A personal experience: At some point in my life i started seeing that THC was kind of making me lazy, anti-social, careless about my psysical appearance, and most of all making me have no other objectives in life but to smoke. I guess i was to young to be smoking pot.

All in one: Smoking everyday was not the way to go for me.
I would think about this mostly while high but than when i was sober i had the urge to smoke again as if i didn't remember my previous insights...Is this what's happening to you?

If it is, when you start thinking again about tripping try to remember your previous thoughts/ insights about this.
I tried associating the thought of wanting hash to the thoughts that hash wasn't my life. And it worked. I quit for maybe a year which gave me time to grow up a bit and learn how to use it responsibly...

Well, we're not talking about similar drugs nor similar 'life resolutions' but this might help anyways!

Good Luck  :smile:
 


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InvisibleSenor_Doobie
Snake Pit Champion
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Registered: 08/12/99
Posts: 22,678
Loc: Trump Train
Re: Choose Life? [Re: esin]
    #1132197 - 12/11/02 11:48 AM (14 years, 5 months ago)

" would think about this mostly while high but than when i was sober i had the urge to smoke again as if i didn't remember my previous insights"

I was caught in that cycle for a long time. Now I only smoke occasionally.


--------------------
"America: Fuck yeah!" -- Alexthegreat

“Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. The real extent of this state of misinformation is known only to those who are in situations to confront facts within their knowledge with the lies of the day.”  -- Thomas Jefferson

The greatest sin of mankind is ignorance.

The press takes [Trump] literally, but not seriously; his supporters take him seriously, but not literally. --Salena Zeto (9/23/16)


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Offlinechrispc
Durban, SouthAfrica (Soon)

Registered: 08/05/02
Posts: 254
Loc: London, UK
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
Re: Choose Life? [Re: esin]
    #1133961 - 12/12/02 03:05 AM (14 years, 5 months ago)

In reply to:

If it is, when you start thinking again about tripping try to remember your previous thoughts/ insights about this.
I tried associating the thought of wanting hash to the thoughts that hash wasn't my life. And it worked. I quit for maybe a year which gave me time to grow up a bit and learn how to use it responsibly...




By jove I think his hit the nail on the head. Thanks.


--------------------
"We are what we think.
All that we are arises with our
thoughts."

- Buddha in the Dhammapada -

ChrisC


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