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Durban, SouthAfrica (Soon)

Registered: 08/05/02
Posts: 254
Loc: London, UK
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
Choose Life?
    #1131204 - 12/11/02 08:44 AM (15 years, 5 months ago)

The more and more the months role by, the more the more the years role by. I have this voice in the back of my head saying in that Trainspotting fashion, "Choose Life." Quit the mind bending drugs and move on, you have had your fun. What do we class as mind bending? Hmmmm tricky. I would probably allow for E's to be taken perhaps once twice a year on special occasions. The odd spliff, a nice drink down the pub.

I think my mistake has been, and also my mental state rest's on this: Is the fact that I keep using psychedelics to force my ego out of myself. I think I'm actually learning something from this. In reality I learn f**k all. No thats actually not true. I think that psychedelics have taught me where I stand in life and thats no where. Nothing really matters, going on my new found faith of Buddhism this seems to fit in. Although with out the drugs. It's like the total perspective vortex in Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. In this I mean psychedelics can put you in perspective of your life. However, to keep on doing this is crazy for me. I seemed to drift ever closer to insanity each time. It's time to choose life I think. I regularly attend meditation on thursdays at my local Buddhist centre. Sometimes I can come out of there after a long session and have a really good perspective on things and thats with out psychedelics. I think to myself why do I drift back to psychedelics when clearly this is the way to go now. My answer to that is I simply don't know. This is only psychedelics mind. I think I can get away with the usual stuff socially. I don't go out much raving, pubbing, so when I do I like to make the most of it.

Why am I typing this? I don't know, but it feels better that someone has read and heard this. I wonder how many of you are in similar situations? Or have even been in this train of thought multiple times, like I have.

Would be interesting to read your thoughts.

"We are what we think.
All that we are arises with our

- Buddha in the Dhammapada -


Edited by chrispc (12/11/02 08:52 AM)

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Registered: 08/25/01
Posts: 889
Loc: George "I love Hitler" Bu...
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Re: Choose Life? [Re: chrispc]
    #1131355 - 12/11/02 10:58 AM (15 years, 5 months ago)

Nice thoughtfull post...

I have had similar debates with myself. For me it comes in context to people I know who are "heads" who as they get older have decided they have done enough psycadelics. I wonder if it is not just a fear thing mostly. I see that they are very attatched to their current versions of reality and have fear about losing those attatchments. It seems almost contradictory to what psycadelics teach in some way. Then I just wonder if it's not just me tyring to escape something about this temporal world in my use of psycadelics....

It's confusing and full of SOUL eh?.......

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

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up till dawn

Registered: 10/31/02
Posts: 290
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
Re: Choose Life? [Re: upupup]
    #1131391 - 12/11/02 11:20 AM (15 years, 5 months ago)

'to each their own'

this is what you are seeing. everybody is different, perhaps you have utilized the gift of 3rd eye sight that psychedelics brings.

i have had the exact same reaction to rolling, i believe that ive done it enogh, that i know where its going to take me each time, so the desire is pretty much null, perhaps on occasions like new years... anyhow, for the people that treat the psychedelic as a tool, you actually learn enough up to a point where if you did keep going further, like you said, insanity could set in...i also don't think you should throw it all away. we do have a tendency to 'slip' in views or become destracted. just keep it on the back burner is what i would do.

we are only capable of taking in so much, biologically/mentally speaking.

you already have the edge on humanity i believe, so as you partake in your buddist study, you take it with you.... i to have nearly decided that the way of the buddah is best suited for me.

choosing life is part of the living cycle that most people do strive for. i don't believe nobody want to be a crackhead and go through life bouncing around like an unstable molecule. sadly tho, alot of people do see drugs as a weekly or even daily recreation.

Edited by ribbit (12/11/02 11:21 AM)

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Carpal Tunnel
Registered: 08/30/99
Posts: 6,481
Loc: n. e. OH, USSA
Last seen: 3 months, 9 days
Re: Choose Life? [Re: chrispc]
    #1131479 - 12/11/02 12:02 PM (15 years, 5 months ago)

tim leary once said: just say "no, thank you" to drugs, because jast saying "no!" is so... republican
there's nothing wrong with taking a little break from using...
whether the break is a week, a month, a year, a decade... or even the rest of this lifetime...
if approached properly, psychedelics drugs can (occasionally, with luck & grace) give the seeker a "kensho", a glimpse or a taste of the enlightenment experience...
one of the problems with drug-mediated satori is that one may end up thinking that it is the drug itself that "causes" the experience... and (as in the 10 oxherding pictures) there is always the problem of bringing the knowledge won back into the world ("returning to the marketplace with bliss-bestowing hands") --- how do we integrate this experience into the world of "chopping wood and carrying water"???
the buddhist magazine tricycle ( www.tricycle.org ) had an issue several years ago focused on "buddhism and psychedelics" which could be a useful read for you...
& psychiatrist stanslav grof published a book on guiding distressed folks through a "spiritual crisis" --- and i am sure there is a website titled something like "spiritual emergency network", whick has some pointers, as well as ways to connect with, helping professionals who may have more than a clue as to what you are going through...
as for what to do, here and now...
well, advice is free... but...
here goes anyways:
take a break from mindbenders...
consider establishing a "discipline" (be it meditation practice, prayer, daily martial arts, "dedicated" readings, whatever works for you...)
cultivate lovingkindness (for yourself and for your fellow beings)...
take good care of your body, of your mind, of your spirit...
be very well

old enough to know better
not old enough to care

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 User Gallery

Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 5 years, 4 months
Re: Choose Life? [Re: chrispc]
    #1131797 - 12/11/02 08:38 AM (15 years, 5 months ago)

I've experienced that dilemma many times before.

I always look at it in terms of achieving a goal. Like I'm on a path. This path has no rules and boundaries which I can consciously comprehend and manipulate, so whenever I think about it seriously it seems foolish to think I need psychedelics to carry me down this path.
I think its good to realize there is no 'routines' you should have to follow to be happy in life. It's all about epxeriencing peaces of time. Psychedelics are just another piece of the big puzzle.

I still think they serve a purpose for me creatively, so i will keep doing them. When they start to just get in the way of things, I will stop doing them. (if that ever happens.)

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Reality Hacker

Registered: 07/28/02
Posts: 3,599
Loc: Traped in a shell.
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
Re: Choose Life? [Re: chrispc]
    #1132517 - 12/11/02 01:52 PM (15 years, 5 months ago)

I think that just as long as you have your 3rd eye open, your path will be a good one.

:smirk: :wink: :grin:

What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know,
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection,
Is it all you want it to be?

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I'm so fly.

Registered: 10/07/02
Posts: 44,410
Re: Choose Life? [Re: chrispc]
    #1132858 - 12/11/02 04:10 PM (15 years, 5 months ago)

all i can say is trainspotting 0wnz...drugs are good too...fuck life

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General Interest >> Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology

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