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OfflineJackofSpades
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Registered: 03/01/09
Posts: 2,897
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
Confession To Make
    #11311082 - 10/24/09 12:44 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

I have literally no self-confidence around people.

I just read other people emotions and base myself off of them rather than doing and feeling things for myself.

I believe this is because my Dad was an alcoholic and I have co-dependency tendencies.


It sucks. I'm entirely powerless over this problem.

Just felt like sharing.


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If you're frightened of dying and  you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth.


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InvisibleHiei
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Registered: 01/23/08
Posts: 2,626
Re: Confession To Make [Re: JackofSpades]
    #11311114 - 10/24/09 12:50 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

have you tried something to gain some self-confidence?


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InvisibleMOTH
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,390
Loc: In the jungle
Re: Confession To Make [Re: JackofSpades]
    #11311131 - 10/24/09 12:52 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Thanks for sharing...but I gotta ask and probe deeper:

Do you work out?  Exercise?  I am a fragile anti-social mess unless I sweat my butt off at least once a day. 

Working out gives me confidence so I thought it might be a good suggestion to offer you too.


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OfflineJackofSpades
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Registered: 03/01/09
Posts: 2,897
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
Re: Confession To Make [Re: MOTH]
    #11311152 - 10/24/09 12:54 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

yeah. I'm actually fairly athletic. I was playing lacrosse in college up until this semester.

Its more fear of being judged or rejected for what I say. Like I said, alot of this comes from my home life. Uncertainty of how people will respond to what you say. As a result, I read other people to see if its "okay" for me to say things.

I'm getting over it and working hard at it but it sucks.


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If you're frightened of dying and  you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth.


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OfflineRocker232
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Registered: 10/17/08
Posts: 6,631
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
Re: Confession To Make [Re: JackofSpades]
    #11311166 - 10/24/09 12:58 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

JackofSpades said:
yeah. I'm actually fairly athletic. I was playing lacrosse in college up until this semester.

Its more fear of being judged or rejected for what I say. Like I said, alot of this comes from my home life. Uncertainty of how people will respond to what you say. As a result, I read other people to see if its "okay" for me to say things.

I'm getting over it and working hard at it but it sucks.




Do you smoke weed? Drink?

I feel the former increases the problem while the latter makes it better. I don't drink often, but I feel it would do me good to have a drink every once in awhile. I'm cool with my body, my only self esteem problems stem from having a stutter at times.


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With Allure I Look to the Sky With Awakened Eyes


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OfflineDutch-Master2890
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Registered: 08/19/09
Posts: 377
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: Confession To Make [Re: MOTH]
    #11311172 - 10/24/09 12:59 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

i hear you man i dont have the confidence that i actually show sometimes ill just put up a front but on the inside i always feel everyones lookin at me judgin me and shit idk why because i was a pretty popular kid in school i was friends with everyone but ive always felt everyones always judgin me i have anxiety problems i guess but a xanax bar solves that

but yeah workin out helps i love stayin in shape it makes you feel healthier and even better when girls ask if you been workin out


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OfflineRocker232
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Registered: 10/17/08
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Re: Confession To Make [Re: Dutch-Master2890]
    #11311186 - 10/24/09 01:00 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

Meditate too man. IMO its a much better route than eating Xanax (they do work, I use them myself at times, but they are a band-aid, not a cure).


--------------------
With Allure I Look to the Sky With Awakened Eyes


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InvisibleMOTH
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,390
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Re: Confession To Make [Re: JackofSpades]
    #11311190 - 10/24/09 01:01 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

I hear you...sorry you're dealing with that right now. 

I like to do something fairly absurd quite often so that way it desensitizes me to judgment.  Just throw caution to the wind and act the fool...it feels really great. 

Keep in mind that other people cannot judge or reject you if you don't judge or reject your Self!


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InvisiblePapaverS
Madmin Emeritus?


Registered: 06/01/02
Posts: 26,880
Loc: Radio Free Tibet!
Re: Confession To Make [Re: JackofSpades]
    #11311193 - 10/24/09 01:01 PM (7 years, 11 months ago)

People can change themselves (or, more accurately they can build-up lacking areas, and deflate overdeveloped areas, of their personality), but it takes time and discipline. The first step is recognition, and the rest is an arduous lifelong process...

On the other hand, one can always look at a perceived deficit in a positive way. Maybe something good can come of it. Quiet observation is a skill many great writers have had. Mimicry is a good skill for an actor. Maybe there's something useful there. Like the guitarist, Adrian Belew, once said, "If you've got a broken guitar pickup go with it; make it part of your music!"


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