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Offlinewalkingeyeball
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Registered: 09/14/09
Posts: 236
Loc: SLC, UT
Last seen: 2 years, 22 days
Dark place I can't get to
    #11273058 - 10/18/09 08:59 PM (8 years, 6 days ago)

I have a gap between my emotional self and my physical self. I am able to recognize emotions...happiness, fear, sadness, etc...but I feel like I cannot express them. There's a dam of feelings being blocked by this darkness. I don't know how to show the light into this void. It seems like the more I unconsciously resist their existence the more the negative energy feeds off of this. I am an optimistic person at heart, but sometimes I think I push away all other emotions to remain happy on the outside and pretend to be happy on the inside. This impenetrable barrier is making it impossible to properly heal myself and I think it's slowly but surely affecting my health. I cannot cry for the life of me. Whenever I feel tears coming on, I try to release them, but they dwindle back up inside me, allowing this darkness to grow. This is causing me to be an emotional rollercoaster. Can anyone offer any advice? :frown:


--------------------
"We come from the stars
We have no ships
We travel from mind to mind
As you open your heart
We enter your body
As you open your heart
We enter your imagination
As you open your heart
We enter your dreams "


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OfflineSmitington
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Registered: 08/10/09
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Re: Dark place I can't get to [Re: walkingeyeball]
    #11273163 - 10/18/09 09:17 PM (8 years, 6 days ago)

The fact that you try to block out negativity to remain positive is not a bad thing.  You just need to remember that life is about good vibes and making sure the whole world has them.  Don't let negativity control you.  Try to be positive.  The easiest way to be positive is to help other people or try to take yourself out of the situation to see what would be best for the people and the world around you.  You can be positive man, and your great feelings will come back.  These negative feelings are natural, but they are designed to make you feel bad about something, so that you will be focused on making things right in the world.  All of this is pretty general, both of our posts are, if you want to go into more detail about your life and family I'de be happy to try to help.


--------------------


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InvisibleBand of Gypsys
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Registered: 10/04/09
Posts: 788
Loc: Mountains on the Moon
Re: Dark place I can't get to [Re: walkingeyeball]
    #11273180 - 10/18/09 09:21 PM (8 years, 6 days ago)

Let go of everything. I had a similar problem and It seems like it hurts to let go of the dark things, but holding on to them is worse. The only things that hurt are what you won't let go of.:laugh:

Easier said than done.


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InvisibleMiddlemanM
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Registered: 07/12/99
Posts: 7,843
Re: Dark place I can't get to [Re: Band of Gypsys]
    #11273222 - 10/18/09 09:28 PM (8 years, 6 days ago)

What does 'letting go' mean? Not thinking about it? How does one stop thinking about it?


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InvisibleBand of Gypsys
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Registered: 10/04/09
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Re: Dark place I can't get to [Re: Middleman]
    #11273279 - 10/18/09 09:39 PM (8 years, 6 days ago)

It is hard to explain because I don't fully understand it myself. Letting go is not repressing it. Like when OP says she can't cry. It seems like she wants to cry but stops it.

I think repressing is the best word. Don't repress emotions. I don't feel something because I don't want to feel like that. You have to feel it and let it out.


Edited by Band of Gypsys (10/18/09 11:14 PM)


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Invisiblec0sm0nauttM
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Re: Dark place I can't get to [Re: walkingeyeball]
    #11273534 - 10/18/09 10:31 PM (8 years, 6 days ago)

First off, I'm pretty sure waking is a girl, considering she chose the girl option above her avatar.

I know what you mean when you refer to these emotional blockages. Do you ever dream of being in a water park? Or of a hidden room you dare not enter? 

I think the majority of us humans have these blockages. The heart and the mind are not in sync. I was able to cry a few weeks ago. It was weird, I just thought about the struggle this life encompasses and let a little out, and it felt good.


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OfflinejivJaN
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Re: Dark place I can't get to [Re: walkingeyeball]
    #11275433 - 10/19/09 03:40 AM (8 years, 5 days ago)

Quote:

I cannot cry for the life of me. Whenever I feel tears coming on, I try to release them, but they dwindle back up inside me, allowing this darkness to grow.




Why do you want to cry ?
What is making you sad ?


--------------------



---------------------

All my posts in this forum are strictly fictional.
They are derived from an acute mental illness , from which i am forced to lie compulsively.
I have never induced any kind of mind altering substance in my life  and i have no intentions whatsoever of doing anything illegal.
If I have ever suggested such a thing it would have most likely been , due to my personality disorder and i probably do not remember it at all..


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InvisibleShroomismM
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Re: Dark place I can't get to [Re: Middleman]
    #11275450 - 10/19/09 03:50 AM (8 years, 5 days ago)

Quote:

Middleman said:
What does 'letting go' mean? Not thinking about it? How does one stop thinking about it?




I like to think I have a lot of experience in this field. I had some pretty severe emotional blockages for a while, walls I constructed in my psyche myself, to "protect me" from harm. This was a double whammy in that I was effectively blocking out emotions as well as repressing old ones that needed to be resolved, alienating myself and the people around me. Everything just got bottled up all the rage, anger, frustration, stress, hatred, and combined into a deadly cocktail of volatile and destructive emotions. Even caused me to become like a psychic sponge and soak up extras of these energies just floating around. Building up in my body.

"Letting go" means just that - letting go of those energies, releasing them.

Simply trying to block the energies will only cause them to become inflamed and exaggerated, they must be dealt with and released or they will just continue to linger with you, like an untreated wound it will fester and become worse. The more you embrace it the more it consumes you. Such is the nature of the dark energy.

I find the key is neutrality. Positivity is good and all, but only in moderation. I find that in general, the more neutral I keep my thoughts, the more balanced I feel.
With positivity comes negativity, as positivity implies a duality. In a duality mode of thought it is easy to become fragmented, and biased..
and this is where blockages occur. The two sides are literally like at war with each other,
With neutrality, the positive and negative are part of the whole, different movements from the same source. Situations are observed with more clarity.

"Letting go" implies a releasing of pent up negative energy. Clearing out the dark matter in all the areas where it is causing blockages in your energy centers.
There are a wide variety of methods people use to accomplish this from every different culture.. some focus more on the physical aspect some more on the mental/spiritual, but the trifecta is the physical body combined with the mental/spiritual clearing at the same time. Practices such as Tai Chi, Qi Gong, So-Ham and many other things are very good for this.. like guided meditations with the physical movements accompanying the associated mental thought and learning the language of the body, bringing the body, mind, and soul into perfect alignment, and making affirmations to yourself such as you are Light, etc.

Then there are actual like guided meditation where someone can guide you through the process of entering a deep meditation and going through all the energy centers, visualizing ultraviolet light coming through and literally clearing out and blasting away all the junk. Blasting from above, clearing away, sending it down to the violet flame below, where it is consumed and transmuted from whence it came.

Stuff like that.
Love love love


--------------------


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InvisibleBand of Gypsys
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Registered: 10/04/09
Posts: 788
Loc: Mountains on the Moon
Re: Dark place I can't get to [Re: Shroomism]
    #11276044 - 10/19/09 10:23 AM (8 years, 5 days ago)

Quote:

Shroomism said:
I like to think I have a lot of experience in this field. I had some pretty severe emotional blockages for a while, walls I constructed in my psyche myself, to "protect me" from harm. This was a double whammy in that I was effectively blocking out emotions as well as repressing old ones that needed to be resolved, alienating myself and the people around me. Everything just got bottled up all the rage, anger, frustration, stress, hatred, and combined into a deadly cocktail of volatile and destructive emotions. Even caused me to become like a psychic sponge and soak up extras of these energies just floating around. Building up in my body.

"Letting go" means just that - letting go of those energies, releasing them.






This is part of what has happened to me. I absorbed other people's crap. This crap was stuff I didn't like and I thought it was me so I buried it. I encountered a lot of this crap on mushroom journeys. I finally figured out it was not my crap and I needed to let go of it. I have my own crap to let go of, too.

Any time I feel something unpleasant I have the urge to shut it off. That is not good. You should be empty and the energy should flow freely through you.


--------------------
S o m e  T e x t


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OfflineDiaboleros
Devil's spawn


Registered: 07/20/08
Posts: 1,856
Last seen: 5 months, 13 days
Re: Dark place I can't get to [Re: Band of Gypsys]
    #11276699 - 10/19/09 01:36 PM (8 years, 5 days ago)

Being an emotional rollercoaster is normal, after a while you'll get used to the ride. It's just that before you simply weren't normal, emotionless, not riding anything at all..


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InvisibleChronic7
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Re: Dark place I can't get to [Re: walkingeyeball]
    #11276835 - 10/19/09 01:57 PM (8 years, 5 days ago)

Quote:

walkingeyeball said:
I have a gap between my emotional self and my physical self. I am able to recognize emotions...happiness, fear, sadness, etc...but I feel like I cannot express them. There's a dam of feelings being blocked by this darkness. I don't know how to show the light into this void. It seems like the more I unconsciously resist their existence the more the negative energy feeds off of this. I am an optimistic person at heart, but sometimes I think I push away all other emotions to remain happy on the outside and pretend to be happy on the inside. This impenetrable barrier is making it impossible to properly heal myself and I think it's slowly but surely affecting my health. I cannot cry for the life of me. Whenever I feel tears coming on, I try to release them, but they dwindle back up inside me, allowing this darkness to grow. This is causing me to be an emotional rollercoaster. Can anyone offer any advice? :frown:




I was going through something similar over a year ago, rest assured you are growing, its part of a beautiful process...
I remember around that time i wanted to cry but for the life of me i just could not cry
Later on i was lying in bed gradually letting go of everything then having a blissfull experience, during this experience the tears just came pouring out by themself

At first i thought i wanted to cry tears of sadness to let it out, but really it was tears of joy that wanted to come out!



The best thing you can do to release these feelings is don't try too hard to release them, as thats just more attachment to them

If you see a block, rather than try to release it remove it or move through it, welcome it instead, allow it space to grow & express
Dont try to remove it, because to try to remove it is to energize it further...

In this type of observing & allowing, your doing less & less, becoming less & less attached more & more open
Your liberating yourself from the veils



You have to come to know that its only mental stuff
You yourself can not be harmed by any of it...

Really, to face these things all that's needed is the strong conviction & courage that I can come to no harm by facing them, so 'Bring It On!'

This is what really brings about Buddhahood, BRING IT ON!

:peace:


--------------------
________________________________


Edited by Chronic7 (10/19/09 02:05 PM)


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Offlinewalkingeyeball
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Female


Registered: 09/14/09
Posts: 236
Loc: SLC, UT
Last seen: 2 years, 22 days
Re: Dark place I can't get to [Re: Band of Gypsys]
    #11276924 - 10/19/09 02:11 PM (8 years, 5 days ago)

Quote:

Band of Gypsys said:

I think repressing is the best word. Don't repress emotions. I don't feel something because I don't want to feel like that. You have to feel it and let it out.




I know that repression is the exact thing I'm doing, consciously or not. It's hard to break these habits, because you begin to feel accustomed to blocking them out and it becomes the "norm." I will try to allow my emotions to flow free.

Quote:

c0sm0nautt said:

I know what you mean when you refer to these emotional blockages. Do you ever dream of being in a water park? Or of a hidden room you dare not enter?

I think the majority of us humans have these blockages. The heart and the mind are not in sync.




Sometimes I dream of feeling trapped. I feel in general that my dreams lack a certain emotional aspect to them. Like, I can witness something very traumatic but am unphased or I don't explore my environment in depth...stuff like that. I don't know your take on chakras or anything, but I meditate on them and can feel their activity in my body. Right now I believe I'm working on opening my heart, to allow it to synch with my mind or the 'one' mind or however you like to put it. Every day I feel more love for all and almost like the dam is beginning to crack to allow all to be balanced.

Quote:

jivJaN said:

Why do you want to cry ?
What is making you sad ?




Well I couldn't tell you why I want to cry...sometimes I feel overwhelmed by a lot of things and it would be only natural to allow those feelings to flow. I'm an empath...I absorb the emotions of everyone around me and when someone is radiating grief, I feel the tears welling up, but they don't come. It makes me feel artificial in a sense; like I'm some sort of robot. Not to mention the pain I get repressing these things. When I hit a low I hit rock bottom...

Quote:

Shroomism said:

I find the key is neutrality. Positivity is good and all, but only in moderation. I find that in general, the more neutral I keep my thoughts, the more balanced I feel.




This makes a lot of sense to me! I have been working on staying neutral and for the most part it works. Everything in moderation. I will continue to work on keeping that balance, thank you :smile: I will look into the practices you recommended. I think physical activity in general will help stir up those blockages (:


--------------------
"We come from the stars
We have no ships
We travel from mind to mind
As you open your heart
We enter your body
As you open your heart
We enter your imagination
As you open your heart
We enter your dreams "


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Offlinewalkingeyeball
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Female


Registered: 09/14/09
Posts: 236
Loc: SLC, UT
Last seen: 2 years, 22 days
Re: Dark place I can't get to [Re: Chronic7]
    #11276958 - 10/19/09 02:16 PM (8 years, 5 days ago)

Facing my demons is exactly what I need to do. Your words lift my spirit, thank you :smile:


--------------------
"We come from the stars
We have no ships
We travel from mind to mind
As you open your heart
We enter your body
As you open your heart
We enter your imagination
As you open your heart
We enter your dreams "


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Offlinelines
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Re: Dark place I can't get to [Re: walkingeyeball]
    #11286710 - 10/20/09 09:13 PM (8 years, 4 days ago)

Dont try to feel emotions or fcus on anything psychological, dont analyze yourself. Just exercise more and forget about stuff. Eventually emotions will happen naturaly


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OfflinejivJaN
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Re: Dark place I can't get to [Re: walkingeyeball]
    #11286821 - 10/20/09 09:28 PM (8 years, 4 days ago)

Quote:

Well I couldn't tell you why I want to cry...sometimes I feel overwhelmed by a lot of things and it would be only natural to allow those feelings to flow. I'm an empath...I absorb the emotions of everyone around me and when someone is radiating grief, I feel the tears welling up, but they don't come. It makes me feel artificial in a sense; like I'm some sort of robot. Not to mention the pain I get repressing these things. When I hit a low I hit rock bottom...




Dont absorb them
be unswayed by them.

sometimes being unemotional is a very wise choice.

why would you want someones garbage ?
if you can emphatically feel it.. that must mean that they release it..
and then.. you absorb it.. and hold on to it ?
its like saying : Here.. let me carry your bag of bricks !

its a nice thing to do.. but everybody has a shit ton of heavy bricks ,they would gladly let YOU hold on to..

you dont have to battle your demons..
you dont have to do any of that shit..

you just need to stop feeling guilty...and appreciate yourself.

you like grief ?
you like pain ?
here you go !

thats what it will be like as long as you feel sorry for yourself and others.
it isnt natural.. and the catalyst keeps coming your way until you figure out the message.


--------------------



---------------------

All my posts in this forum are strictly fictional.
They are derived from an acute mental illness , from which i am forced to lie compulsively.
I have never induced any kind of mind altering substance in my life  and i have no intentions whatsoever of doing anything illegal.
If I have ever suggested such a thing it would have most likely been , due to my personality disorder and i probably do not remember it at all..


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OfflineTeamAmerica
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Re: Dark place I can't get to [Re: walkingeyeball]
    #11290619 - 10/21/09 10:05 AM (8 years, 3 days ago)

Take yourself back to childhood...do you have any memories? Or memories of feelings that you miss now? Try to remember the love you once felt, and realize that it's not too far away.


Your thoughts alone can not save you from the darkness you feel, and your thoughts are probably controlled by it anyways. Let go of what you think "is" do not look, just see. You create yourself and your reality, what is outside of you is controlled by what is inside of you.

See yourself as the innocence and vulnerability that you are, and love yourself. Once you love yourself,  love everything.


:yoda2:


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InvisibleBand of Gypsys
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Registered: 10/04/09
Posts: 788
Loc: Mountains on the Moon
Re: Dark place I can't get to [Re: walkingeyeball]
    #11291220 - 10/21/09 12:59 PM (8 years, 3 days ago)

Quote:

walkingeyeball said:
Facing my demons is exactly what I need to do. Your words lift my spirit, thank you :smile:




Facing your demons is fun! :laugh:

Or just rewarding.


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OfflineY-mindsamurai
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Registered: 12/15/09
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Re: Dark place I can't get to [Re: Band of Gypsys]
    #11678405 - 12/19/09 01:07 AM (7 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Band of Gypsys said:
Quote:

walkingeyeball said:
Facing my demons is exactly what I need to do. Your words lift my spirit, thank you :smile:




Facing your demons is fun! :laugh:

Or just rewarding.




well you make it fun. sometimes i suspect maybe we are only here to face said demons. and once again only because it's just that - fun.  does that make everything a joke?


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InvisibleAlteredAgain
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Re: Dark place I can't get to [Re: TeamAmerica]
    #11679312 - 12/19/09 08:16 AM (7 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

TeamAmerica said:
Take yourself back to childhood...do you have any memories? Or memories of feelings that you miss now? Try to remember the love you once felt, and realize that it's not too far away.




This.


--------------------


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InvisibleLucid_Euphoria
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Posts: 1,045
Loc: Flip Side
Re: Dark place I can't get to [Re: AlteredAgain]
    #11683312 - 12/19/09 11:11 PM (7 years, 9 months ago)

Without darkness, there can be no light.


--------------------
PAN CYAN & AZURE FOR TRADE

"If ignorance is bliss, THEN KNOCK THE SMILE OFF MY FACE!" - Zach de la Rocha

"Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather!" -Bill Hicks-


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