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OfflineCannabischarlie
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fucked up relationship with father, suburbian hell, and just being "different"
    #11263814 - 10/17/09 04:32 AM (8 years, 8 days ago)

i am not talking the kind where the dad is just a low life, or he beats you, or something along those lines.

im talking like the fact that he isnt a low life, or may be really successful, means he has an equal and opposite way of being a fucked up dad?

i could probably explain but let me just put it this way, even he acknowledges i am smarter than his daughters, one older and one younger (the older from a previous marriage and moved out here to get away from her mom, making less of a dad for me) and the younger one unfortunately she can do no wrong, yet she does wrong a lot. i am sure if he nurtured me in the same way he does her, or at least made things more equal, she wouldnt be spoiled and fucked up and i would at least be able to say that im not being held back because its blatant that neither of them appreciate what he does and they both now treat me like shit.

i wont say im perfect, but i cant imagine why he gets on my ass about things he is delusional about for example, i change my oil every 3000 miles. he goes out and checks the oil, on a car all he did was co sign on that i later paid off early, and its only a couple hundred past that 3,000. he says the oil is black. well if i go over a thousand miles, of course. i worked at uhaul and had to tell people diesel oil gets black after a mere 100 miles. we keep up on that shit.

now a lot of people do it every 5,000. i simply do it the 3,000 for piece of mind. even he admitted later thats when he does it. but dont be on my ass and come up with delusions shit just to paint me as irresponsible to have more reasons to gaslight me and be emotionally abusive (his shit drives me literally crazy and then he has room to treat me like shit) yet she blows up her car by not changing the oil for 15,000 fucking miles. prior to that i told her on a new leased car 8,000 is too much.

during another arguement, so he has ammuntion because he really knows dick about cars, i get yelled at for another delusion of his, a hose failed in my car that "i should have replaced." er, i snapped at him that it isnt even a replaceable part and he was making shit up.

it was under warranty. i had to fight them on it, as it was past a certain mileage but it was sort of a grey area. but it was a known defect, had happened before and the car was in 2 places that looked at it in the last 3 weeks, coincidently.

so i get a new engine for only 500 dollars, kind of one of those "shit was shitty and then somehow the shit DID turn to roses"

yet she blows up a car she doesnt even appreciate. it now sits in the garage and i have to have my car outside where i have to worry about windshield scraping while her dead fucked up car thats HER fault blocks it.

yeah, im 26, and need to get out of here soon. its pretty normal for people around here to move back in, stay at home with parents, etc. theres even a newspaper article that this phenomenon isnt isolated to me. however its not like im like some lowlife who never gets a job, etc, the fact of the matter is i am held to a higher standard and theres no denying that the things he says are simply things just to hurt me and of course i retaliate by doing the same.

if the economy wasnt shit, getting a job wouldnt be such a big deal. im good at that but its hard to keep shit and employers have very little loyalty towards employees. i got fired for being sick for four days, they got notice, they said they didnt. still, im back on unemployment and at least i have less bills. however my sister didnt go to four years of college and get a double major to sit on her ass for five months not looking for a job, she could find something GREAT, or at least have an excuse if she is looking that it hasnt happened yet. its just the fact that she gets to live rent free, on her own, while i get no "attaboys" and just a bunch of "ah shits."

the problem is she fucks up and fucks up and fucks up and nothing happens. i do know that it will end up making her not as strong of a person but at the same time, i gotta get out of here. the only issue is money. however its fucking irritating that she has so little responsibility and still cant even manage to do something as simple as going to go get her oil changed for whatever measly amount that is. dont even get me started on how i was a teenager wondering why my adult sister who decided to move here to get away from other :drama: give me about "being an adult" while her hypocritical ass just sponged until she got her shit together.



now im not saying my dads daughter  are total fuckups or anything like that, or that they havent been cool in the past, but those days are over, and the resentment is simply there to the point where i am unfortunately going to end up in the same vein as my oldest sister, michelle, who doesnt talk to patty. honestly i really dont talk to patty or have anything bad to say because she doesnt do anything to me, i like to keep things that way most of the time (basing things on how people treat me in almost all circumstances) but i really hate that it has to be that way, because i dont think thats good by any means, its just that it is what it is.

sorry for the rant, and i know because of the length and that this is simply an internet forum my writing here isnt great, but i would love to allow others to express there issues and get some happy happy group therapy going on here.

i think its good to flush things out. bottling things in just makes things shitty, i have learned that the hard way.

accepting things is the first start towards change. as soon as things stabilize and i get out of this rut, i wont look back, or try to make things work by staying here. that time has passed. i dont care what people say about "its cheaper to stay at home" well frankly i cant afford to stay here anymore, sanity doesnt have that kind of monetary price tag.

I also think suburban life can be fucked up in so many ways, and i think people only show the good and what they want to show. i think people who live in the suburbs, especially in higher end snooty areas as this (not Cherry Hills or Beverly Hills, but very well off) pay a price for living in these areas, that isnt about money if you know what i mean. it may seem nice that the money is good, but at what cost?

i think i would love to move to the city, be around real people, and lots of people probably feel the same way. sometimes a lot is lost in suburbia. it doesnt help that i am sort of a "different" person in such a community, but i notice that the being truly "different" is what makes me intriguing in some ways and is a breath of fresh air for people.


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This section of the signature line has been intentionally left blank.

  we could all use a little more sunshine.

:shrug: yeah, she's funny and somewhat interesting.  not a beauty queen, but not bad lookin.  i'd feel quite honored to fuck janine garofalo.
-tiny_rabid_birds


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Invisiblejewunit
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Re: fucked up relationship with father, suburbian hell, and just being "different" [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #11263865 - 10/17/09 04:57 AM (8 years, 8 days ago)

I'm sorry I can't resist.

Are your sisters hot?


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InvisibleAmericanPsycho
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Re: fucked up relationship with father, suburbian hell, and just being "different" [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #11264390 - 10/17/09 10:17 AM (8 years, 8 days ago)



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Offlinemodestmyco
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Re: fucked up relationship with father, suburbian hell, and just being "different" [Re: AmericanPsycho]
    #11264471 - 10/17/09 10:51 AM (8 years, 8 days ago)

get the little clear stickers that you write the mileage on and a sharpie marker, appease dad for $5 and change the oil at your own leisure :smile:


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InvisibleRationalEgo
Principium Individuationis

Registered: 06/15/09
Posts: 2,071
Loc: Boston
Re: fucked up relationship with father, suburbian hell, and just being "different" [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #11264533 - 10/17/09 11:11 AM (8 years, 8 days ago)

Your Father shoulda kicked you out on the street at 16, like mine did. Made me the man I am today. The only problem with suburbia is that most parents keep their kids sheltered and at home for way too long, then they are stunted and have difficulty dealing with the harsh realities of the world.

That's probably why most of y'all turned to drugs. :shrug:


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OfflineTrev86
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Registered: 02/10/09
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Re: fucked up relationship with father, suburbian hell, and just being "different" [Re: RationalEgo]
    #11264675 - 10/17/09 11:50 AM (8 years, 8 days ago)

Quote:

RationalEgo said:
Your Father shoulda kicked you out on the street at 16, like mine did. Made me the man I am today. The only problem with suburbia is that most parents keep their kids sheltered and at home for way too long, then they are stunted and have difficulty dealing with the harsh realities of the world.

That's probably why most of y'all turned to drugs. :shrug:





^^ douchebag  ^^


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OfflineMaverick
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Re: fucked up relationship with father, suburbian hell, and just being "different" [Re: Trev86]
    #11264723 - 10/17/09 12:05 PM (8 years, 8 days ago)

My parents were great, I was just an unappreciative little fuck.  I think it takes just as much of a man to admit that as growing up when you're 16.  One comes with time, one's forced on you.  It comes eventually.  I moved out when I was 18 and had to move back home after a year.  :p  Hehe.

You should do a roadtrip or something, get some time away, doesn't even have to be that far away, just somewhere you've Never been before, where you can get your mind off things, and bring a friend with you, especially if you do decide to go far.  Whenever I'm on a roadtrip I usually go a state or two away.  Haven't ventured further yet but someday...
It's a good way to get away, get your head cleared, find new dreams, and just get back to yourself.  It's nice to be able to be yourself as a happy person.


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OfflineRocker232
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Registered: 10/17/08
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Re: fucked up relationship with father, suburbian hell, and just being "different" [Re: RationalEgo]
    #11264803 - 10/17/09 12:28 PM (8 years, 8 days ago)

Quote:

RationalEgo said:
Your Father shoulda kicked you out on the street at 16, like mine did. Made me the man I am today. The only problem with suburbia is that most parents keep their kids sheltered and at home for way too long, then they are stunted and have difficulty dealing with the harsh realities of the world.

That's probably why most of y'all turned to drugs. :shrug:




Sorry we're not as cool as you. Let me go OD on Heroin.


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With Allure I Look to the Sky With Awakened Eyes


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InvisibleMisterMuscaria
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Re: fucked up relationship with father, suburbian hell, and just being "different" [Re: RationalEgo]
    #11265015 - 10/17/09 01:14 PM (8 years, 8 days ago)

I can kinda relate. I moved back into my parent's house after being homeless for a couple of years. I'm moving back out in the winter though.

Quote:

RationalEgo said:
Your Father shoulda kicked you out on the street at 16, like mine did. Made me the man I am today. The only problem with suburbia is that most parents keep their kids sheltered and at home for way too long, then they are stunted and have difficulty dealing with the harsh realities of the world.

That's probably why most of y'all turned to drugs. :shrug:



I don't see how it's anyone's fault that there parents didn't kick them out when they were 16 and I don't see how you pointing this out does anything to help the Op's cause or sense of self-worth.


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InvisibleRationalEgo
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Registered: 06/15/09
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Re: fucked up relationship with father, suburbian hell, and just being "different" [Re: Rocker232]
    #11266678 - 10/17/09 06:46 PM (8 years, 7 days ago)

Quote:

Rocker232 said:
Quote:

RationalEgo said:
Your Father shoulda kicked you out on the street at 16, like mine did. Made me the man I am today. The only problem with suburbia is that most parents keep their kids sheltered and at home for way too long, then they are stunted and have difficulty dealing with the harsh realities of the world.

That's probably why most of y'all turned to drugs. :shrug:




Sorry we're not as cool as you. Let me go OD on Heroin.




Kinda missed my point there. Hint: it's not about 'being cool' its about taking responsibility for oneself. But sure, go OD on Heroin, I couldn't give a shit if you did.


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InvisibleRationalEgo
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Re: fucked up relationship with father, suburbian hell, and just being "different" [Re: Trev86]
    #11266720 - 10/17/09 06:52 PM (8 years, 7 days ago)

Quote:

Trev86 said:
Quote:

RationalEgo said:
Your Father shoulda kicked you out on the street at 16, like mine did. Made me the man I am today. The only problem with suburbia is that most parents keep their kids sheltered and at home for way too long, then they are stunted and have difficulty dealing with the harsh realities of the world.

That's probably why most of y'all turned to drugs. :shrug:





^^ douchebag  ^^




Let me guess, you live in your momma's basement?


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Invisiblejewunit
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Re: fucked up relationship with father, suburbian hell, and just being "different" [Re: RationalEgo]
    #11266749 - 10/17/09 06:56 PM (8 years, 7 days ago)

Quote:

RationalEgo said:
Your Father shoulda kicked you out on the street at 16, like mine did. Made me the man I am today. The only problem with suburbia is that most parents keep their kids sheltered and at home for way too long, then they are stunted and have difficulty dealing with the harsh realities of the world.

That's probably why most of y'all turned to drugs. :shrug:




I'da kicked your pretentious ass out before you were sixteen.
You don't sound like much of a man though, so I don't think your statement really carries much weight.


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InvisibleRationalEgo
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Re: fucked up relationship with father, suburbian hell, and just being "different" [Re: jewunit]
    #11266797 - 10/17/09 07:02 PM (8 years, 7 days ago)

Quote:

jewunit said:
Quote:

RationalEgo said:
Your Father shoulda kicked you out on the street at 16, like mine did. Made me the man I am today. The only problem with suburbia is that most parents keep their kids sheltered and at home for way too long, then they are stunted and have difficulty dealing with the harsh realities of the world.

That's probably why most of y'all turned to drugs. :shrug:




I'da kicked your pretentious ass out before you were sixteen.
You don't sound like much of a man though, so I don't think your statement really carries much weight.




Care to elaborate on those thoughts? Or are you merely being emotive and reactionary with your insults?


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Invisiblejewunit
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Re: fucked up relationship with father, suburbian hell, and just being "different" [Re: RationalEgo]
    #11266815 - 10/17/09 07:04 PM (8 years, 7 days ago)

I assumed since you were making baseless assumptions it would be cool if I did too.


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InvisibleRationalEgo
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Re: fucked up relationship with father, suburbian hell, and just being "different" [Re: jewunit]
    #11266838 - 10/17/09 07:08 PM (8 years, 7 days ago)

Quote:

jewunit said:
I assumed since you were making baseless assumptions it would be cool if I did too.




Please, point out my baseless assumptions oh cool one.


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Invisiblejewunit
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Re: fucked up relationship with father, suburbian hell, and just being "different" [Re: RationalEgo]
    #11266841 - 10/17/09 07:09 PM (8 years, 7 days ago)

Maybe I missed it but I don't recall him saying anything about living in suburbia or turning to drugs.


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InvisibleSalomon
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Re: fucked up relationship with father, suburbian hell, and just being "different" [Re: jewunit]
    #11266854 - 10/17/09 07:11 PM (8 years, 7 days ago)

:seriousbusiness:


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EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT



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InvisibleRationalEgo
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Re: fucked up relationship with father, suburbian hell, and just being "different" [Re: jewunit]
    #11266868 - 10/17/09 07:14 PM (8 years, 7 days ago)

Quote:

jewunit said:
Maybe I missed it but I don't recall him saying anything about living in suburbia or turning to drugs.




I did not say he turned to drugs and yes you did miss the part where he commented about life in suburbia.

Do you need some reading lessons?


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Invisiblejewunit
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Re: fucked up relationship with father, suburbian hell, and just being "different" [Re: RationalEgo]
    #11266881 - 10/17/09 07:16 PM (8 years, 7 days ago)

Yup I missed it. No I don't need reading glasses.

Why'd you bring up people turning to drugs?
Why'd your dad boot you when you were 16?


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InvisibleRationalEgo
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Re: fucked up relationship with father, suburbian hell, and just being "different" [Re: jewunit]
    #11266903 - 10/17/09 07:20 PM (8 years, 7 days ago)

Quote:

jewunit said:
Yup I missed it. No I don't need reading glasses.

Why'd you bring up people turning to drugs?
Why'd your dad boot you when you were 16?




I brought it up because it is widespread in suburban culture, especially among 18-25 yr olds that still live at home with Mom and Dad.

My father kicked me out because I stood up to his constant tyranny of domestic abuse.


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