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Invisiblelivelovelaugho9
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Registered: 09/13/09
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Could it really be over? ( I couldn't think of a title sorry if it doesn't fit)
    #11262965 - 10/17/09 12:23 AM (8 years, 1 month ago)

My boyfriend and I used to trip together quite frequently. He was the first person I ever tripped with, the times we had where unforgettable.

Recently he took an eight of shrooms and had a "bad" trip. In he eyes he saw himself for what everyone else sees him, but it wasn't a good perception. He thought that everyone looks at him as a failure. It blows my mind because I don't see that in him. I might be bias though because I am his girlfriend and I focus on who he really is. I think it scared him a little and made him really depressed. He said he learned a lot from it and it was self discovering.

He told me he doesn't know if he wants to trip again because of it. I don't know what to think about it because I still want to have that experience with him. To me it's connecting on a whole different level. I don't want to lose that connection with him.

I wish it wouldn't have came on like this. Should i just let it go and accept the fact that he might not trip with me again? I don't want that. He's the only person I can trip with. I want to trip by myself, but I am to uncomfortable with it. I don't want to give up tripping either. Or do you think it's just a phase that he will break out of when he's happy again?

I'm just in a pickle.


--------------------
People say that what we're all seeking is a meaning for life. I don't
think that's what we're really seeking. I think what we're seeking is an
experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely
physical plane will have resonances within our own innermost being and
reality, so we can actually feel the rapture of being alive.:flowerchild:


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InvisibleRationalEgo
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Registered: 06/15/09
Posts: 2,071
Loc: Boston
Re: Could it really be over? ( I couldn't think of a title sorry if it doesn't fit) [Re: livelovelaugho9]
    #11263049 - 10/17/09 12:39 AM (8 years, 1 month ago)

Nice little Co-dependency trip you got going there. :smirk:


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Offlinedwtk
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Re: Could it really be over? ( I couldn't think of a title sorry if it doesn't fit) [Re: RationalEgo]
    #11263063 - 10/17/09 12:42 AM (8 years, 1 month ago)

just because he doesn't trip anymore, doesn't mean you can't. and its very possible he'll be fine in a few weeks and change his mind


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Invisibleniteowl
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Re: Could it really be over? ( I couldn't think of a title sorry if it doesn't fit) [Re: livelovelaugho9]
    #11263259 - 10/17/09 01:23 AM (8 years, 1 month ago)

Give him a few months to process the trip
I would bet that he eventually decides to trip again


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future


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OfflineSampaJasli
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Re: Could it really be over? ( I couldn't think of a title sorry if it doesn't fit) [Re: dwtk]
    #11263262 - 10/17/09 01:24 AM (8 years, 1 month ago)

niteowl took the words out of my mouth:

give him a few weeks / months. he'll probably want to trip again after the bad things he felt fade into a vague memory. i know that i've felt the same way after bad trips, but eventually the desire returned.


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Offlinedkamp18
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Re: Could it really be over? ( I couldn't think of a title sorry if it doesn't fit) [Re: SampaJasli]
    #11263276 - 10/17/09 01:28 AM (8 years, 1 month ago)

is it the "connection" you will miss.
or just being high that you will miss, because you are afraid you might feel obliged to stop getting high since he has too.


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InvisibleDahuiHeeNalu
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Re: Could it really be over? ( I couldn't think of a title sorry if it doesn't fit) [Re: dkamp18]
    #11263277 - 10/17/09 01:29 AM (8 years, 1 month ago)

He will change his mind...


--------------------
#IamKratom


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OfflineNeuron
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Re: Could it really be over? ( I couldn't think of a title sorry if it doesn't fit) [Re: niteowl]
    #11263290 - 10/17/09 01:33 AM (8 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

niteowl said:
Give him a few months to process the trip
I would bet that he eventually decides to trip again




I agree :smile:

I wish  my girl liked to trip.


--------------------


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Offlinekydelic
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Re: Could it really be over? ( I couldn't think of a title sorry if it doesn't fit) [Re: RationalEgo]
    #11263299 - 10/17/09 01:35 AM (8 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

I want to trip by myself, but I am to uncomfortable with it. I don't want to give up tripping either.




He can tripsit, but don't let his mood affect yours. Honestly though, the best route would be to talk over what he learned and what he felt and how you feel about it and all that mushy gushy crap to sort through it all and interpret what he learned in a better light. Respect what he has to say, and make she he respects what you have to say. Really, in one word: COMMUNICATION. Shit's essential for a successful relationship.

The other thing that can happen is time...I had a really difficult experience the last time I tripped (I did so very irresponsibly, with a girlfriend who was not too sympathetic and sober, and without the respect that these tools deserve) and it was almost 2 years ago. I was completely afraid to trip because of how negative and intense it was, the sorts of emotions it brought up (as well as all the chunks....oh God the chunks :lol:), everything. I had panic attacks for months afterward (classic flight-or-flight symptoms, pupil dilation (noticed from increased visual acuity), increased heartbeat, overwhelming anxiety), and just thinking about tripping scared the ever-living fuck out of me.

I realized that it was due to my not really healthy relationship with my then-girlfriend. It lasted just under a year longer from that trip, and I was disgustingly dependent on her for everything. Even after we broke up, we weren't completely apart, and the issues weren't resolved until I finally took the initiative and ended everything. The trip showed me that we weren't right for each other, in a very roundabout way, because of the cold way she treated me during my time of need. I'm sure a good few people who've had a difficult experience felt that need to have someone there to reassure them, for a simple touch or just a warm smile, it could've reversed the rest of the trip, but she flat-out refused me even any acknowledgment.

I am glad though, that this happened, because it made me realize that the cause of the stress and anxiety was the semitoxic relationship I was in, I just wouldn't accept what there was to be learned from the trip. Now, it's just under 2 years from then, I've been feeling ready to trip for some time now, however I've had difficulties in procuring the materials, leaving me ample time for reflection, to tie up loose ends, to instill the psychedelic mindset in my waking everyday consciousness, to truly appreciate nature and this wonderful Earth (just saying the word Earth, or contemplating any aspect of it, is enough to bring me to some rapture, to some ecstasy, to some true joy), to find confidence in myself, to do all the things I need to do to successfully probe my mind and whatever else may be waiting for me on the other side. So I find myself here, I have my little issues, we all do, we all deal with them in our own ways, but I have never been this happy, this confident, this content...my life has never been better. All my past comes together to form me, that single point of existence that is fully realized with the allies, and my future which lies ahead also rushes to join me, and in all this I've found what all seek. Beyond this all that I could ask for is knowledge, and that's all I strive for. I'm in the perfect relationship now, it's quite non-toxic and quite healthy. Even more so: I appreciate this big ball of dirt we lovingly call Home more than I ever imagined I could.


Take from my story and my scant experience what you will, but I think he needs to keep in mind that he needs to deal with and confront the issues (whether they are internal or external) that came up in the trip, obviously there is some deep-seated self-perception that is agonizing him. The other thing to keep in mind is that time heals not all, but some wounds, if he wishes to trip and explore some more or if he wishes to grow from his experience, rather than wither away from it, he has to confront his issues. If you care about each other and your relationship, communication is key, and this is a big deal to work through together. Good luck.


--------------------
http://flickr.com/photos/mycography - A collection of my fungal photography


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InvisibleDynoo
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Registered: 07/08/09
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Re: Could it really be over? ( I couldn't think of a title sorry if it doesn't fit) [Re: kydelic]
    #11263305 - 10/17/09 01:38 AM (8 years, 1 month ago)

I'm sure with a little time he'll come around to it again. Maybe he might have to see you have trips alone for a while for him to change his mind. But I believe once a couple trips together, they will always trip together at some other point in their life. I'm sure there will be a day where he's feeling pretty happy mentally and he'll take some with you. If he's kind of nervous about it, start him off at a low does, maybe 1.5g of shrooms and some weed to smoke.


--------------------
-


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Invisiblelivelovelaugho9
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Registered: 09/13/09
Posts: 362
Re: Could it really be over? ( I couldn't think of a title sorry if it doesn't fit) [Re: dkamp18]
    #11264585 - 10/17/09 11:27 AM (8 years, 1 month ago)

Thanks guys. I am hoping time will change it. We have talked about it multiple times over and over trying to analyze what happened. I do now think he is just scared he will fall back into that same trip which makes sense why he doesn't want to trip with me. When we trip he always makes sure I'm not falling into a bad trip and ensures me that it's okay, even if its just with an emotion.


kydelic your story was very helpful. It gives me hope that he will want to trip again. He is actually working on fixing the things that he realized, he is just having trouble. I am also sorry about that relationship that sounds horrible and unhealthy. I am glad you have a better loving girl now.

Quote:

dkamp18 said:
is it the "connection" you will miss.
or just being high that you will miss, because you are afraid you might feel obliged to stop getting high since he has too.




No, the high is not my concern. If it was than I wouldn't be uncomfortable dosing by myself. Connection on a trip level is way more profound than anything I have experienced.


--------------------
People say that what we're all seeking is a meaning for life. I don't
think that's what we're really seeking. I think what we're seeking is an
experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely
physical plane will have resonances within our own innermost being and
reality, so we can actually feel the rapture of being alive.:flowerchild:


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Invisibleblewmeanie
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Re: Could it really be over? ( I couldn't think of a title sorry if it doesn't fit) [Re: livelovelaugho9]
    #11264607 - 10/17/09 11:31 AM (8 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

livelovelaugho9 said:
I'm just in a pickle.



I like how this dude had an intensely traumatic experience, and you've managed to make it all about you.

Women:lol:


--------------------


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InvisibleRationalEgo
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Registered: 06/15/09
Posts: 2,071
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Re: Could it really be over? ( I couldn't think of a title sorry if it doesn't fit) [Re: blewmeanie]
    #11264641 - 10/17/09 11:40 AM (8 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

blewmeanie said:
Quote:

livelovelaugho9 said:
I'm just in a pickle.



I like how this dude had an intensely traumatic experience, and you've managed to make it all about you.

Women:lol:





Yea, her boyfriend REALLY must mean a lot to her. :rolleyes:

This kind of attitude is so typical is not even funny.


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Invisibleniteowl
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Re: Could it really be over? ( I couldn't think of a title sorry if it doesn't fit) [Re: blewmeanie]
    #11264703 - 10/17/09 12:00 PM (8 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

blewmeanie said:
Quote:

livelovelaugho9 said:
I'm just in a pickle.



I like how this dude had an intensely traumatic experience, and you've managed to make it all about you.

Women:lol:




:ilold:


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future


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OfflineDrShroomkenstein
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Re: Could it really be over? ( I couldn't think of a title sorry if it doesn't fit) [Re: livelovelaugho9]
    #11264757 - 10/17/09 12:15 PM (8 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

livelovelaugho9 said:
My boyfriend and I used to trip together quite frequently. He was the first person I ever tripped with, the times we had where unforgettable.

Recently he took an eight of shrooms and had a "bad" trip. In he eyes he saw himself for what everyone else sees him, but it wasn't a good perception. He thought that everyone looks at him as a failure. It blows my mind because I don't see that in him. I might be bias though because I am his girlfriend and I focus on who he really is. I think it scared him a little and made him really depressed. He said he learned a lot from it and it was self discovering.

He told me he doesn't know if he wants to trip again because of it. I don't know what to think about it because I still want to have that experience with him. To me it's connecting on a whole different level. I don't want to lose that connection with him.

I wish it wouldn't have came on like this. Should i just let it go and accept the fact that he might not trip with me again? I don't want that. He's the only person I can trip with. I want to trip by myself, but I am to uncomfortable with it. I don't want to give up tripping either. Or do you think it's just a phase that he will break out of when he's happy again?

I'm just in a pickle.




That's the problem that most people don't realize exists, is that tripping isn't just a window into the universe but a window into yourself, If you have any doubts about your self worth you will see it when your trippin, it's the same with any drug really but with shrooms,lsd etc... its amplified, give em time, boost em up he'll be ok


--------------------
Take two of these and call me in the morning, and GET OFF MY LAWN!!


Edited by DrShroomkenstein (10/17/09 12:27 PM)


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Invisiblelivelovelaugho9
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Registered: 09/13/09
Posts: 362
Re: Could it really be over? ( I couldn't think of a title sorry if it doesn't fit) [Re: niteowl]
    #11264770 - 10/17/09 12:18 PM (8 years, 1 month ago)

Sorry if I sound selfish.. I wasn't meaning too.


--------------------
People say that what we're all seeking is a meaning for life. I don't
think that's what we're really seeking. I think what we're seeking is an
experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely
physical plane will have resonances within our own innermost being and
reality, so we can actually feel the rapture of being alive.:flowerchild:


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Invisibleniteowl
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Re: Could it really be over? ( I couldn't think of a title sorry if it doesn't fit) [Re: livelovelaugho9]
    #11264791 - 10/17/09 12:25 PM (8 years, 1 month ago)

I didn't think you were being selfish
I just thought blew's reply was funny


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future


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Invisiblelivelovelaugho9
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Female


Registered: 09/13/09
Posts: 362
Re: Could it really be over? ( I couldn't think of a title sorry if it doesn't fit) [Re: niteowl]
    #11264805 - 10/17/09 12:28 PM (8 years, 1 month ago)

Thanks, it made me think for a second. I don''t want to be know like that. That's all.


--------------------
People say that what we're all seeking is a meaning for life. I don't
think that's what we're really seeking. I think what we're seeking is an
experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely
physical plane will have resonances within our own innermost being and
reality, so we can actually feel the rapture of being alive.:flowerchild:


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InvisibleMisterMuscaria
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Re: Could it really be over? ( I couldn't think of a title sorry if it doesn't fit) [Re: livelovelaugho9]
    #11264989 - 10/17/09 01:09 PM (8 years, 1 month ago)

In every relationship/friendship one person will enjoy tripping more than the other. How often has he tripped before?


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Offlinewalkingeyeball
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Re: Could it really be over? ( I couldn't think of a title sorry if it doesn't fit) [Re: livelovelaugho9]
    #11265035 - 10/17/09 01:16 PM (8 years, 1 month ago)

I think bad trips are a necessary part of the psychedelic experience...I mean, everyone is prone to having at least one. You learn a lot from yourself and a lot about the power of the drug you're taking. I'm sure the time will come when he will continue to trip, everything is always changing :smile: Just let him know to not live in fear of the mushroom, for the mushroom can sense his fear :smile:


--------------------
"We come from the stars
We have no ships
We travel from mind to mind
As you open your heart
We enter your body
As you open your heart
We enter your imagination
As you open your heart
We enter your dreams "


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