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InvisiblePoid
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Exclusive Romantic Relationships
    #11260787 - 10/16/09 05:45 PM (8 years, 9 days ago)

I will attempt at a general list of the pros and cons of exclusive romantic relationships:


Cons:
  • Obsession
  • Attachment
  • Jealousy
  • Causes some to become overly emotional at times
  • Often people involved in such a relationship depend on external powers for their own survival (e.g- they are financially dependent on their spouse)
  • Often times, aggressive and even violent behavior is exhibited by people involved in such a relationship

Pros:
  • Sexual satisfaction
  • Having a deep genuine connection with someone else
  • Having support emotionally, psychologically, financially, etc.
  • The pleasure of giving/receiving love
  • Having someone to trust




Obviously, in order to receive the benefits of an exclusive romantic relationship, it isn't necessary to be involved in one. Seeing as there are a good deal of potential "side effects" (i.e.- the cons) one who's involved in such a relationship risks experiencing, why would any individual willingly choose to enter into and/or remain in one? :justdontknow:


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: Exclusive Romantic Relationships [Re: Poid]
    #11260818 - 10/16/09 05:49 PM (8 years, 9 days ago)

Quote:

Poid said:
I will attempt at a general list of the pros and cons of exclusive romantic relationships:


Cons:
  • Obsession
  • Attachment
  • Jealousy
  • Causes some to become overly emotional at times
  • Often people involved in such a relationship depend on external powers for their own survival (e.g- they are financially dependent on their spouse)
  • Often times, aggressive and even violent behavior is exhibited by people involved in such a relationship

Pros:
  • Sexual satisfaction
  • Having a deep genuine connection with someone else
  • Having support emotionally, psychologically, financially, etc.
  • The pleasure of giving/receiving love
  • Having someone to trust




Obviously, in order to receive the benefits of an exclusive romantic relationship, it isn't necessary to be involved in one. Seeing as there are a good deal of potential "side effects" (i.e.- the cons) one who's involved in such a relationship risks experiencing, why would any individual willingly choose to enter into and/or remain in one? :justdontknow:




:leaving:


--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


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InvisiblePoid
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Re: Exclusive Romantic Relationships [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #11260821 - 10/16/09 05:50 PM (8 years, 9 days ago)

:confused:


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.


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OfflineAhimsa
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Re: Exclusive Romantic Relationships [Re: Poid]
    #11260847 - 10/16/09 05:53 PM (8 years, 9 days ago)

Someone said a solid relationship involves passion, intimacy and commitment.

So ther are seven possible bases upon which love or a relationship can be build.

Is the combination of all three not the best?



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OfflineTropism
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Re: Exclusive Romantic Relationships [Re: Poid]
    #11260866 - 10/16/09 05:56 PM (8 years, 9 days ago)

Quote:

why would any individual willingly choose to enter into and/or remain in one?



Quote:

Pros:
Sexual satisfaction
Having a deep genuine connection with someone else
Having support emotionally, psychologically, financially, etc.
The pleasure of giving/receiving love
Having someone to trust




There are plenty of negative effects to alot of drugs, but we still take them for the high. :wink:


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InvisiblePoid
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Re: Exclusive Romantic Relationships [Re: Tropism]
    #11260913 - 10/16/09 06:03 PM (8 years, 9 days ago)

Quote:

Ahimsa said:
Someone said a solid relationship involves passion, intimacy and commitment.



These things don't always end in a good way, and most relationships I've seen are pretty unstable.



Quote:

Tropism said:
Quote:

why would any individual willingly choose to enter into and/or remain in one?



Quote:

Pros:
Sexual satisfaction
Having a deep genuine connection with someone else
Having support emotionally, psychologically, financially, etc.
The pleasure of giving/receiving love
Having someone to trust




There are plenty of negative effects to alot of drugs, but we still take them for the high. :wink:



We take drugs knowing the possible negative side-effects because they give us a specific high that we cannot get any other way; it is possible to have a relationship with someone where none of the negative side effects are involved. :sadyes:


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.


Edited by Poid (10/17/11 10:28 PM)


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OfflineAhimsa
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Re: Exclusive Romantic Relationships [Re: Poid]
    #11260950 - 10/16/09 06:08 PM (8 years, 9 days ago)

Quote:

...and most relationships I've seen are pretty unstable.




Isn't a proper connection within ourself with our feelings a key element for any relationship to be stable?


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OfflineTrippinNinjaBuddha
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Re: Exclusive Romantic Relationships [Re: Tropism]
    #11260992 - 10/16/09 06:13 PM (8 years, 9 days ago)

An exclusive romantic relationship is a voluntary undertaking in which both parties agree to certain terms in order to learn and experience.

You could say that right now, you are in an exclusive relationship with your life - your past, your body, your habits, your relationships, etc.

Could you gain benefits of this life while also experiencing other lives simultaneously and consciously?  Yes (and I'm not saying that they're not happening simultaneously, only not within this consciousness.)  However, you choose to engage only in this one to fully undertake THIS journey and learn THESE lessons.

Yeah?


--------------------
Jumped in a river, what did I see?
Black eyed angels swimming with me
Moon full of stars and astral cars, all the figures I used to see
All my lovers were there with me
All my past and all my futures
We went to heaven in a little rowboat
There was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt


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InvisiblePoid
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Re: Exclusive Romantic Relationships [Re: TrippinNinjaBuddha]
    #11261072 - 10/16/09 06:23 PM (8 years, 9 days ago)

Quote:

Ahimsa said:
Quote:

...and most relationships I've seen are pretty unstable.




Isn't a proper connection within ourself with our feelings a key element for any relationship to be stable?


I'd say so, yes.

Did you have a point, or were you just adding?



Quote:

TrippinNinjaBuddha said:
An exclusive romantic relationship is a voluntary undertaking in which Formula: 0 agree to certain terms in order to learn and experience.

You could say that right now, you are in an exclusive relationship with Formula: 1


If you say that there are two parties, then why do you also say that you can have an exclusive relationship with yourself? Are you considering a person's past, body, habits, and relationships to be separate individual parties that one agrees with and has an exclusive romantic relationship with?

Really, I was just talking about exclusive romantic relationships regarding male/female, male/male, and female/female pairs. :shrug:



Quote:

TrippinNinjaBuddha said:
Could you gain benefits of this life while also experiencing other lives simultaneously and consciously?


You could gain the usual benefits of an exclusive romantic relationship without risking experiencing any of the cons if you find the right partner(s).



Quote:

TrippinNinjaBuddha said:
Yes (and I'm not saying that they're not happening simultaneously, only not within this consciousness.)


What's not happening simultaneously? :confused:

What do you mean by "within this consciousness"?



Quote:

TrippinNinjaBuddha said:
However, you choose to engage only in this one to fully undertake THIS journey and learn THESE lessons.


Huh? :confused:



Quote:

TrippinNinjaBuddha said:
Yeah?


:lol:, no.


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.


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OfflineAhimsa
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Re: Exclusive Romantic Relationships [Re: Poid]
    #11261103 - 10/16/09 06:29 PM (8 years, 9 days ago)

Quote:

Did you have a point, or were you just adding?




Just making a remark to add to the subject.


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InvisiblePoid
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Re: Exclusive Romantic Relationships [Re: Ahimsa]
    #11261354 - 10/16/09 07:15 PM (8 years, 9 days ago)

Quote:

Ahimsa said:
Quote:

Did you have a point, or were you just adding?




Just making a remark to add to the subject.



That's what I thought. :thumbup:


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.


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InvisibleMufungo
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Re: Exclusive Romantic Relationships [Re: Poid]
    #11263074 - 10/17/09 12:44 AM (8 years, 8 days ago)

Quote:

Poid said:

These things don't always end up good, and most relationships I've seen are pretty unstable.






Probably because the people doing the relating were unstable. Relationships are nothing without the people who are doing the relating to one another. :shrug:


--------------------


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OfflineTheBalance
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Re: Exclusive Romantic Relationships [Re: Poid]
    #11264771 - 10/17/09 12:19 PM (8 years, 8 days ago)

Quote:

...why would any individual willingly choose to enter into and/or remain in one?




You know, cause we seek connection on a deeper level.
We trust too much.
We look past obvious warning signs.
We are intoxicated by the closeness.

Then she steals your weed and straight face lies to you about it.
Then she wants to borrow money.
Then she starts subtly manipulating you and playing energy/head/power games.
Then as if schooled in the art, she attacks you with ever increasing intensity of low blows.

Then she feeds on you.

We enter unaware and we learn.  We learn not to waste.  We learn when to open.  We learn to protect ourselves.

We learn to judge more discerningly.


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OfflineJrea
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Re: Exclusive Romantic Relationships [Re: TheBalance]
    #11264804 - 10/17/09 12:28 PM (8 years, 8 days ago)

there are SOOOO many more cons, at least for me right now.  :nonono:


--------------------
ツ♥☮impulse☮♥ツ

★☆ one body one mind one soul one life one chance to ʞɔnɟ it all up☆★


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InvisibleBand of Gypsys
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Re: Exclusive Romantic Relationships [Re: Mufungo]
    #11264859 - 10/17/09 12:40 PM (8 years, 8 days ago)

Quote:

Mufungo said:
Relationships are nothing without the people who are doing the relating to one another. :shrug:




Will you be my guru?


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OfflineMushroomTrip
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Re: Exclusive Romantic Relationships [Re: Poid]
    #11264917 - 10/17/09 12:53 PM (8 years, 8 days ago)

Quote:

why would any individual willingly choose to enter into and/or remain in one? :justdontknow:




Um, because this is what they want?
None of the cons you presented apply only to exclusive relationships, nor are they a certain side effect of them, so I really don't know where you're going with all that. In the same manner, the pros presented by you can happen in all kinds of relationships, not only in exclusive relationships.
What exactly makes you think that people wouldn't choose to be in an exclusive relationship when they already know what will happen, and what makes you think that you know how things will go for all those people? :lol:
Seriously, your post sounds like you ran out of ideas (if you ever had any) and you're just trying to find an already commonly found topic here on the Shroomery.

Quote:

You could gain the usual benefits of an exclusive romantic relationship without risking experiencing any of the cons if you find the right partner(s).




Care to elaborate?
The only way you can avoid all those cons is to simply not feel them, not feed yourself into them, which can happen at any time without having to leave the exclusive relationship. People aren't miserable because of their life situation, whatever that might be, but because they probably don't know how to handle their emotions and create a pleasant experience for themselves.


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


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InvisiblePoid
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Re: Exclusive Romantic Relationships [Re: MushroomTrip]
    #11265232 - 10/17/09 01:53 PM (8 years, 8 days ago)

Quote:

Mufungo said:
Quote:

Poid said:

These things don't always end up good, and most relationships I've seen are pretty unstable.






Probably because the people doing the relating were unstable.


Most, if not all exclusive romantic relationships end up this way. I know this doesn't necessarily happen, but from my personal vantage point, couples who don't end up like this are the exception to the rule.



Quote:

TheBalance said:
Quote:

...why would any individual willingly choose to enter into and/or remain in one?


You know, cause we seek connection on a deeper level.



Not everyone seeks connection on a deeper level, but people who do do not have to involve themselves in an exclusive romantic relationship where there are many risks.



Quote:

TheBalance said:
We trust too much.


This is an over-generalization, but I guess it's true that many people put a great deal of trust in others; it isn't necessary to be involved in an exclusive romantic relationship to have someone you can trust.



Quote:

TheBalance said:
We are intoxicated by the closeness.


Again, you can have this closeness with an individual who you are not engaged in an exclusive romantic relationship with.



Quote:

TheBalance said:
Then she steals your weed and straight face lies to you about it.
Then she wants to borrow money.
Then she starts subtly manipulating you and playing energy/head/power games.
Then as if schooled in the art, she attacks you with ever increasing intensity of low blows.


These are some of the "cons" I was talking about; you can have all the "pros" of an exclusive romantic relationship without risking experiencing the cons.



Quote:

TheBalance said:
We enter unaware and we learn.  We learn not to waste.  We learn when to open.  We learn to protect ourselves.

We learn to judge more discerningly.


I personally choose to not have to learn this lesson hands on. :sadyes:



Quote:

Jrea said:
there are SOOOO many more cons, at least for me right now.  :nonono:


Then why don't you just leave? :strokebeard:



Quote:

MushroomTrip said:
Quote:

why would any individual willingly choose to enter into and/or remain in one? :justdontknow:




Um, because this is what they want?



Yes, this is one reason.



Quote:

MushroomTrip said:
None of the cons you presented apply only to exclusive relationships...


I know.



Quote:

MushroomTrip said:
...nor are they a certain side effect of them, so I really don't know where you're going with all that.


I'm not making over-generalizations, I'm just speaking about my experiences thus far in terms of my exposure to exclusive romantic relationships.



Quote:

MushroomTrip said:
In the same manner, the pros presented by you can happen in all kinds of relationships, not only in exclusive relationships.


I know.



Quote:

MushroomTrip said:
What exactly makes you think that people wouldn't choose to be in an exclusive relationship when they already know what will happen...


Absolutely nothing at all, I never made this claim! :lol:



Quote:

MushroomTrip said:
...and what makes you think that you know how things will go for all those people? :lol:


Absolutely nothing at all; again, I'm not making over-generalizations here, I'm just speaking from my own personal experience. :shrug:



Quote:

MushroomTrip said:
Seriously, your post sounds like you ran out of ideas (if you ever had any) and you're just trying to find an already commonly found topic here on the Shroomery.


I do have ideas, I guess. :shrug:

You're saying that my posts sound like I'm trying to find an already commonly found topic here? :confused:



Quote:

MushroomTrip said:
Quote:

You could gain the usual benefits of an exclusive romantic relationship without risking experiencing any of the cons if you find the right partner(s).




Care to elaborate?
The only way you can avoid all those cons is to simply not feel them, not feed yourself into them, which can happen at any time without having to leave the exclusive relationship.


It's like surfing in an area where there is a relatively high risk of being a victim of a shark attack--why would anyone even bother? :justdontknow:



Quote:

MushroomTrip said:
People aren't miserable because of their life situation, whatever that might be, but because they probably don't know how to handle their emotions and create a pleasant experience for themselves.


Totally agree! :heartpump:


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.


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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Exclusive Romantic Relationships [Re: Poid]
    #11267463 - 10/17/09 09:07 PM (8 years, 8 days ago)

People for the most part enter into exclusive relationships out of fear. I've done it and so has everyone I've known.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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InvisibleMufungo
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Re: Exclusive Romantic Relationships [Re: Poid]
    #11268203 - 10/17/09 11:30 PM (8 years, 7 days ago)

Quote:

Poid said:
Quote:

Mufungo said:
Quote:

Poid said:

These things don't always end up good, and most relationships I've seen are pretty unstable.






Probably because the people doing the relating were unstable.




Most, if not all exclusive romantic relationships end up this way. I know this doesn't necessarily happen, but from my personal vantage point, couples who don't end up like this are the exception to the rule.





There is no rule. It's called a massive generalisation by Poid. Your observations say more about you and the way you view the world from your vantage point, than it does about exclusive romantic relationships.


--------------------


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InvisibleMufungo
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Re: Exclusive Romantic Relationships [Re: Icelander]
    #11268234 - 10/17/09 11:34 PM (8 years, 7 days ago)

Quote:

Icelander said:
People for the most part enter into exclusive relationships out of fear. I've done it and so has everyone I've known.




How do you know everyone you know entered into an exclusive relationship out of fear? Did you do a poll? Or is it just another one of your generalisations based on your how you chose to view their relationships interpreted through your own fear.


--------------------


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