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Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 2,807
Loc: Northland, New Zealand. Flag
Last seen: 1 month, 5 days
Black Mysticism
    #11237673 - 10/13/09 04:56 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

I just slipped into a gas station and lost $23 over the counter, now I’m perceiving reality from a nicotine satisfied smoke hazed couch position. The opportunity to hold fast to un-for filed infantile desires, to strangle some life out the restlessness is gone, replaced by an empty knowledge of failure, and the dread of knowing that I may as well chain smoke until I puke.  Consuming movie images and sounds of emotions, love, pain, loss and cigarettes, foolishly in my mind my grief for loss of women and children merges with grief for loss of cigarettes and drugs. My mind begins to form love letters to cigarettes, ha! I know that my letters would serve a higher cause if I were to abstain, but my daemon entices me to serve Saturn, so here my letters insist on reverence to the holiness of failure. My intention was to serve a God of love, knowledge and humanity – Odin. The weird sisters see fit that hel stirs my soul, I relate to writhing serpents, bound wolves. It is best for me to loaf in a dark lonely room, it is not easy, it is not happy but it is fate. I am a fool and maybe a clown, this cigarette is no soft woman’s breast, no mothers nurturing, no fathers wisdom, is this what my soul craves, do my gods need entertainment? Insane laughter burst forth from my maw.

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Registered: 08/09/08
Posts: 4,245
Last seen: 4 years, 9 months
Re: Black Mysticism [Re: usulpsychonaut]
    #11237729 - 10/13/09 05:49 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Are we allowed to ask you questions oh dark one ?




All my posts in this forum are strictly fictional.
They are derived from an acute mental illness , from which i am forced to lie compulsively.
I have never induced any kind of mind altering substance in my life  and i have no intentions whatsoever of doing anything illegal.
If I have ever suggested such a thing it would have most likely been , due to my personality disorder and i probably do not remember it at all..

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Registered: 10/13/04
Posts: 236
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
Re: Black Mysticism [Re: usulpsychonaut]
    #11237761 - 10/13/09 06:25 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

oh the valhalla crumbles...

i don't really know about you, there in the exact opposite side of this planet, but I've just been roaming and the most curious thing made my journey worthwhile, at least for a day... I saw her, the girl that waits, bored to death, for the sour nickel that through her body shall redeem the need for yet more time and space to walk through. A sleeping beauty, a pure mystery... not from disney, or grim, but from Malta Isles (check it pse). And she smiled... at my portrait of her soul.

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Registered: 05/19/08
Posts: 10,297
Loc: NY
Re: Black Mysticism [Re: usulpsychonaut]
    #11238678 - 10/13/09 12:38 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Is what's wrong what your doing, or perhaps how you view what your doing?

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Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 2,807
Loc: Northland, New Zealand. Flag
Last seen: 1 month, 5 days
Re: Black Mysticism [Re: usulpsychonaut]
    #11258160 - 10/16/09 08:27 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Sorrow and woe, from the core of my being and pressing on my heart. Echo, I will absently stay as shallow, vain and superficial as I can be. In ancient times I was a slave, whipped and beaten into usefulness. Scorned and used, beaten and killed, a sacrifice to nature’s bestial order. Useful to god manifested in the material realm in the form of breeds’ superior. In modern times I have been granted freedom. Merciful energy’s permeate random societies. West appears to be the origin of the softness, while west rabidly insists on making amends. Deluded idiots tell false tales of joy and abundance, as if the ethics of masters apply to slaves. Nature expresses herself in technology. Modern times are nature’s technological order. The absurd notion occurs that I could fail with dignity, but with dignity intact I have not failed. The best thing to do is inhale allot of stinking tobacco smoke into my body so that I can feel damaged and sick. I love the softness but I am still a slave, addicted to her sounds soothing my soul from stereos, the constant distraction of multiple tabs in my web browser clicking from screen to screen and filling my life with nothing, the endless supply of movies that dull my awareness of time passing. Wealthy, healthy smiling psychopaths sold me their books. I paid for the lie that I could have a personality and be a wonderful person, so I close my eyes to visualise me attracting abundance through service and there I am weary and cold.

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Not spiritual at all.
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Registered: 09/16/06
Posts: 19,753
Re: Black Mysticism [Re: usulpsychonaut]
    #11259113 - 10/16/09 12:51 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)



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Advocatus Diaboli

Registered: 07/12/99
Posts: 7,945
Re: Black Mysticism [Re: usulpsychonaut]
    #11259164 - 10/16/09 01:00 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

This thread has been closed.

This forum is for the discussion of Mystical and Paranormal subjects. If you wish to spam prose, go start a blog.

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