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Offlineelectrified1
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My Introspective shrooming dilema
    #11236069 - 10/12/09 09:17 PM (14 years, 5 months ago)

First off I haven't posted much on here, but ive grown for a while and have been all over this site millions of times searching and reading.

Ive tripped on shrooms a fair number of times. Id say probably 3 of those times put me in a pretty intense trip, ex. mind expansion, perception of life permenently changed, blah blah. Ive always been the type of person who is sensitive to drugs. I had previously smoked weed for the past 7 years almost everyday, but recently stopped and have only smoked once in the past 2 months. Ive always been facinated with psychadelics although ive never taken lsd and i dont think i want to. Ive tried salvia and dxm (which gave very interesting swirling hallucinations). But out of everything ive tried, psilocybin is beyond facinating.
I cant stop thinking about the distinctive unexplainable aliveness psilocybin brings. The slightest memories are like my mind is posessed with some kind of crazy life form. Just blows me away. I love the spirit it has to offer. I give psilocybin so much respect for what it is, not necessarily a recreational drug, but more of a learning tool.

My dilema im faced with, is side effects from tripping. I get extreme anxiety which seems to bring on some fear when tripping. I just have a problem with losing my ego and dont know how to deal with it. It seems it has always been like that. I dont ever truly enjoy the trip until I come down. This must seem crazy to a lot of people epsecially since I keep eating them. Its like I dont want to, but something keeps drawing me back to them. Its a love hate relationship. It seems like a lot of people just laugh and have a great time on shrooms, ive never really experienced that. Ive had trips where i was in a bedroom tripping, going around town tripping, in the woods tripping. The bedroom was prob the most uncomfortable, then the woods was prob the best away from the city and the people. Just with a friend. But ive always had a feeling of uneasyness that has kept me from fully enjoying my trips. Mabe this is normal, mabe not. Mabe its all just from not letting go of my ego. I want to be able to let go, I even tell myself to let go and try to, but theres always that anxiety, fear, uneasiness. Obviously its not so overwhelming, otherwise id never do shrooms again, but its enough to not enjoy the actually tripping part, just the introspective afterglow they bring.

What do you guys/girls think about this. Is it normal to enjoy the afterglow more than altered conciousness? Any tips or changes I might be able to do to allow me to fully give up my ego?

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Invisiblemarkofthebeast
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Registered: 10/28/07
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Re: My Introspective shrooming dilema [Re: electrified1]
    #11236124 - 10/12/09 09:22 PM (14 years, 5 months ago)

Whenever a trip starts to turn for the worse for me, I take a big hit of nitrous.

Always makes me instantly :awebig:


--------------------
They call me Mark

:penguinmonkey:




Edited by œȾȿȝȴɧʢǥ (ȏɟ/ȿɮ/ɷɖ 68:82 PM)

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Offlineelectrified1
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Re: My Introspective shrooming dilema [Re: markofthebeast]
    #11236204 - 10/12/09 09:32 PM (14 years, 5 months ago)

I was just thinkin mabe its time I just put shrooms away for good. My buddy just got a hold of a bunch of dmt. I figure if I can trip every night on dmt when sleeping, then whats 10 minutes of awake? I kno its way too intense to comprehend and nothing will ever prepare anyone for it.

Edited by electrified1 (10/12/09 09:33 PM)

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OfflineGratefulgroove
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Registered: 03/18/09
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Re: My Introspective shrooming dilema [Re: markofthebeast]
    #11236279 - 10/12/09 09:41 PM (14 years, 5 months ago)

never had the discipline to stick with it but i hear that getting into the habit of meditating helps a lot of people,

its said alot around here but a lower dose until your comfortable with a higher one :shrug: 

also agreed on the nitrous! bahahaha


--------------------
:sunny:Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right:sunny:

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Invisiblepo0dingles
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Re: My Introspective shrooming dilema [Re: Gratefulgroove]
    #11236324 - 10/12/09 09:47 PM (14 years, 5 months ago)

I'm in the same boat. I haven't pushed off yet. Still waiting.

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OfflineGratefulgroove
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Re: My Introspective shrooming dilema [Re: Gratefulgroove]
    #11236329 - 10/12/09 09:48 PM (14 years, 5 months ago)

idk dmts on a whole other dimension of tripping, It can be fun, frightening, and always intense, all at once sometimes.

I think if your afraid of losing your ego on shrooms, that might just get amplified through Deemsters

i can't tell you what you can and can't do but i wouldnt completly give up on mushrooms,
who knows though everyones got their own drug of choice


--------------------
:sunny:Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right:sunny:

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InvisibleShad0w
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Re: My Introspective shrooming dilema [Re: electrified1]
    #11237894 - 10/13/09 05:52 AM (14 years, 5 months ago)

How many times have you tripped?

What is your normal dosage?

Is there any specific recurring anxiety that comes up?

Have you ever tried to look at the anxiety and find out what it actually is?

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Offlineelectrified1
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Re: My Introspective shrooming dilema [Re: Shad0w]
    #11238115 - 10/13/09 07:39 AM (14 years, 5 months ago)

Ive eaten shrooms probably 10-15 times. Most of those have been beween .1 to 1.5 grams. The 3 times I really tripped I had eaten prob 3.5 grams. Most of my trips have given me the body high with the cev's and that level of trip.

The last time I tripped, was prob 5 months ago. It went somethin like this. Me and my friend were camping out in the woods for 3 days. We had found a cliff in the middle of the cascade mountains that was probably 200ft and 3 miles long only at the end of this cliff, was another cliff that met up with it so there was a small peninsula of land extending out. What im trying to say is that you can stand on that point and 270 degrees all  around you is cliff and a crazy view of hills and snow capped mountains. Just amazing. Anyway me and this friend were camping 2 miles from this cliff and we decided to hike there. About half way there i take out a bag of shrooms, pes hawaiian I had grown from a pf jar cased with peatmoss verm. and lime. I took out a small shroom which i later found out weighed .1 gram and ate it. We started walking and it probably hit me about 5 min before we reached the cliff. I felt a very strong body high. My vision had the crazy frame by frame thing, and I felt like I was trippin like crazy without the oev's. I remember feeling the uneasiness. This was prob. the best trip ive ever had. So we get to this cliff and im peaking and my friend is throwing rocks off, and i cant handle not walking. I decided to try to close my eyes and absorb everything that was going on...kinda meditate. I did feel much better and at ease, but I had to keep moving and couldnt just sit there with my eyes closed so it only lasted about 20 seconds. We are at the cliff for prob. 5 min at the most and i say we need to go back, because when we stopped walking i started getting a bunch of anxiety so we start walking back. Its like I have to be walking or doing something physical the whole time, or my trip starts getting too intense. It took us 2 hours to get back and when we did, i was still tripping. However when we were walking,  we would stop for a few and i would automatically start tripping harder. I came to the conclusion that adrenaline acutally blocks psilocybin. Both me and my buddy thought that we were down from the shrooms, then we would stop to rest, and feel the trip return again.

Ive tried to look at the anxiety to see what it is, but I just cant seem to put my finger on it. Thats why I just think it has to do with ego....but who knows i might just be wrong. Mabe its just me. I have had a lot of anxiety growing up. From school to other social situation like bars, and clubs. Even when I stopped smoking weed I got anxiety that lasted for 2 weeks. I couldnt sleep, couldnt eat, and when I did, id get a stomach ache. But I hear these widthdrawl effects are normal for long time smokers from what ive read. Anyway I think mabe the anxiety is just programed into my brain.

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Offlinemorierblackleaf
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Re: My Introspective shrooming dilema [Re: electrified1]
    #11239039 - 10/13/09 11:54 AM (14 years, 5 months ago)

Hey, I have a similar problem. I don't have a solution, but I have something that might help you like it has me.

I think of psychedelics as a tool, as well. Maybe its kind of paramasturbatory, but I think of them as a way to expand consciousness and a few times I've been experimenting with them, I had a kind of Gestalt experience that forever changed my perception in some way. This is why I continue to use this tool, even though I have some anxiety during the process.

But like you, I get the anxiety and need to move around, keep physically going. For me, I'm a little OCD, and losing control of myself like that is scary. I'm open to the experience, but I fight it all the way, which usually ruins the whole trip for me, until afterwards, like you, when I get that "I've still learned something," kind of feeling. If I can't lose myself in the trip, then I'm not really enjoying it, and I'm not really getting the most out of it.

So what I've taken to doing is one of two things. First, I may have a beer with the shrooms. Just one beer doesn't do much for me, but it keeps the anxiety and need to move at bay. I also feel more open to the experience if I've had a beer. I don't suggest drinking any more than one or two, though. Or, second, and more likely, I meditate just before or right after eating the goods. I have a few guided meditation tracks that work for me. If I listen to them when coming up it sets the whole mood for the experience -- calming and peaceful and self-aware.

Additionally, you may consider that you are caught in a self-perpetuating circle of anxiety. Maybe you now get anxious about getting anxious while tripping, and since during tripping a person it more susceptible to subliminal influences, you thereby make yourself anxious, and feed the anxiety with another anxiety-affirming experience? If anxiety is a problem outside of tripping, I would definitely consider that and take the advice given above ... if you start out small, you can get more experiences in less anxious environs, until you are comfortable to let go enough to enjoy the experience at higher doses.


--------------------
Warning: I am a pathological liar with delusions of grandeur, so anything I am likely to type is merely a formation of my mental instability and cannot be taken as fact.

That being said, :jointsmile:

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