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Without willingness you will not heal your wounded core. Be willing to feel, understand and take full responsibility for all of your feelings. Become aware how you create them with your thoughts, beliefs and actions.
Willingness means you are ready for help from others who bring love through to you. It means to face your fears and stop hiding from yourself, stop being in denial about the pain you are in. It means being ready to learn to love.
There is a big difference between feeling pain and learning from it. Take responsibility for your pain and feelings or be stuck with it for ever.
Why cry over spilled milk? Because your pain is telling you that you are off track in your thinking and behaviour. When you put a lid on your pain, you put a lid on your joy. You choose to live an emotionally stunted life.
Pain is your inner child telling you are not acting in your highest good. It tells you to stop thinking or doing what is causing the pain. If you don't give it attention, you will just continue to do so. You will then develop unhealthy mechanisms for not feeling the emotional pain, such as addictions or manipulations.
Ask yourself this. When you want to compulsively act out in any way, what are you feeling? Are you turning to addictions to distract you from painful feelings? Are you willing to open to learn or instead block these feelings with addictions?
Feeling your suppressed emotional pain may be scary. You can handle it. Your fear is based on beliefs about pain obtained in childhood. It is no longer true now that you are an adult.