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Offline4SEEN
Dreamer

Registered: 09/05/09
Posts: 6
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Beware the Squid
    #11227465 - 10/11/09 05:52 PM (8 years, 7 days ago)

Greetings.
Long time lurker, first time poster here with a shroom-trip report.

Finally got my hands on an 1/8 of these magic beauties (p.cubensis).  I am an avid pot smoker and dabbled a bit with E, and this was my first shroom experience.

Ive been wanting to try this for a long time, did my research, and finally my day had come.  I woke up eager and excited that morning and made all the necessary preparations to fully enjoy my trip.

So I ate half the bag at 11am and walked to the park behind my house.  I was going to find a secluded area where I could trip in peace and draw and listen to music etc.

When I got to the park I realized some sort of event was going on as there were lots of people here.  I knew I didnt want to be anywhere near all these people so I kept walking hoping to find somewhere peaceful and quiet.  I started getting frustrated when I couldnt find such a place and I wasnt feeling psychedelic either.  So I said fuck this, scarfed down the rest of the bag and headed back to the safety of my own home.

The very instant I walked through my doorway, it hit me.  I could see waves of light, everything appeared to be pulsing and swirling.  I felt a little dizzy and nausea but couldnt help giggling at my predicament.  My cat greeted me at the door and it took me awhile to realize that this was in fact my cat.  I dont even know how to describe the way her fur appeared.

I quickly made my way to my bedroom, lights off, windows shut and just sat in the middle of my bed and watched as the visuals and thoughts took hold.  I was experiencing everything I had read about and it was very exhilarating.  Too exhilarating actually, to the point where it became overwhelming, and thats when the negative thoughts started kicking in.

Like so many others I started wondering if I took too much. I felt like I was losing control, losing my mind, and struggling to keep control only made it worse.  At one point I tried making myself gag hoping that I could puke these shrooms out and it will all go away.  That was a dumb idea of course.  I couldnt puke, so I went back to laying on my bed trying to ride it out.

I laid there watching the ceiling (I have a stucco type ceiling), suddenly every piece of stucco(?)turned into a tiny blinking eyeball. My entire ceiling was covered with trillions of tiny blinking eyes and they were all looking directly at me.  I was quite freaked out and had to close my own eyes.  This did not make things any better, because now i was having intense CEV.  For the most part it was just random geometric patterns racing through my mind.  I was surprised to realize just how much room there was inside my imagination.

The more I focused on these patterns in my head the more they seemed to connect with each other.  Soon enough it seemed as though these patterns were connected on a universal scale.  This was my moment of feeling connected with EVERYthing. Quite profound.

This profound feeling was soon replaced with sheer terror and vulnerability.  Out of these shapes and patterns I was seeing came this monstrous otherworldly squid type creature.  It was greenish/purplish/black and had seemingly infinite tentacles.  I felt like I needed to get away from this thing, that I needed to hide, but there was nothing I could do, it spotted me.  It had 1 eye, the kind of eye you might imagine when awakening your own third eye.  This thing spotted me and Ive never felt more scared in my life. I felt as though it could see right through my very soul, that it could see everything about my life, everything I love and hate.  It came towards me at impossible speed and stopped right in front of me.  It then plunged its infinite tentacles into my mind.  It was literally raping my mind.  I thought this is the end. Im going to die now. Then I heard something I'll never forget.

"Everything is okay"  Thats what I heard. I began repeating this to myself over and over, everything is ok.  It became my mantra.  At first it made absolutely no sense to me, but the more I said it, the more I started thinking about it logically.  The more I thought about it the more I believed it.  Everything truly is okay. Dieing is ok, having a bad trip is ok, all the mistakes ive made in life are ok. I am everything, and if everything is ok, then I AM OK.

This was the self-realization that I had been searching for. These words/thoughts gave me power. I felt able to control any situation, including being mind raped by some alien squid.  Im not sure how or what I did exactly but upon realizing this, it was like the squid had been exorcised from my mind and ceased to exist. 

I opened my eyes finally and instead of trippy/freaky visuals, everything I saw looked more beautiful than I've ever seen before.  I opened my window to let light in and everything was shining and sparkling and amazing. I found myself in a state that I can only describe as bliss as I stared out the window into the sky for at least an hour.  I knew I was coming down now and felt better than ever before and the feeling continued well into the next day.



Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed typing it.  This was indeed a bad trip but the outcome was definitely worth it.  Maybe not such a good idea tripping alone for my first time, but I really wanted this to be an introspective experience and I believe it was.  I'll never forget about the squid...


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Offlinesolstice
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Registered: 02/14/09
Posts: 2,003
Loc: Silly Cunt Valley
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
Re: Beware the Squid [Re: 4SEEN]
    #11227618 - 10/11/09 06:16 PM (8 years, 7 days ago)

Excellent report! Thanks for sharing.

If there is such a thing as a "shamanic experience of dying and being reborn ", this is it.

Never forget the lessons you learned during that trip, they hold deep value that were given to you for a purpose.

Peace.


--------------------
Man woke up in a world he did not understand and that is why he tries to interpret it - Carl Jung


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OfflineFrenchieWelli
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Registered: 09/02/08
Posts: 175
Loc: Gold Coast
Last seen: 9 months, 24 days
Re: Beware the Squid [Re: solstice]
    #11227642 - 10/11/09 06:20 PM (8 years, 7 days ago)

Welcome brother


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Offlinebatheinthefountain
ॐ ॐ ॐ
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Registered: 08/29/09
Posts: 1,273
Loc: Germany
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
Re: Beware the Squid [Re: FrenchieWelli]
    #11227831 - 10/11/09 06:50 PM (8 years, 7 days ago)

great report!
one of the first i really finished of this length!

I'll be dosing 2,5g my first trip... you think that would be enough?
1/8 ounce is about 3,5g, right?
so do you regret not have taking less? or was 3,5g ok?


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Offlinesolstice
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Registered: 02/14/09
Posts: 2,003
Loc: Silly Cunt Valley
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
Re: Beware the Squid [Re: batheinthefountain]
    #11227924 - 10/11/09 07:06 PM (8 years, 7 days ago)

Quote:

batheinthefountain said:
great report!
one of the first i really finished of this length!

I'll be dosing 2,5g my first trip... you think that would be enough?
1/8 ounce is about 3,5g, right?
so do you regret not have taking less? or was 3,5g ok?




Personally, for the first time I would suggest 2g.


--------------------
Man woke up in a world he did not understand and that is why he tries to interpret it - Carl Jung


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InvisibleKOPELANDIAA
Stranger

Registered: 11/17/01
Posts: 805
Loc: under a pine
Re: Beware the Squid [Re: solstice]
    #11227954 - 10/11/09 07:12 PM (8 years, 7 days ago)

yes, welcome ! :regularshroom:


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Offline4SEEN
Dreamer

Registered: 09/05/09
Posts: 6
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: Beware the Squid [Re: KOPELANDIAA]
    #11228135 - 10/11/09 07:40 PM (8 years, 7 days ago)

In retrospect, I think 1/8(3.5g) may have been a little too much for my first time, just a little. I was only going to eat half at first (1.75g) but I was not feeling anything after an hour so I decided to finish off the rest. It gave me the experience I needed and then some.  Next time I will be tripping with an experienced friend using her tea method, I will be sure to let you know how that goes :wink:

p sout


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