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The Loving Adult on the other hand is the expression of the spirit of love and compassion.
One knows how to nurture and protect ourself, and love others without controling them. One knows how to set inner boundaries against us harming ourself with addictive behaviour and self-abandonment. One knows how to set loving limits against harming or being harmed by others.
Because we may never have had a role model showing us, we don't know how to take loving care of ourself in the face of anger, blame or judgement. So now we need a healing process that creates a loving adult! Until the process of developing a loving adult, the wounded self is in charge. (controling others/our own feelings)
There are two reasons why the wounded self will open up to learning:
- we are in a lot of pain because our 'protections' aren't working - we remember we are here to learn about love kindness
Either way, or we hit rock bottom and shift our intent, or we listen to our feelings and get the message!
Really, LOVE is in a win-win situation... ... and it's showing its teeth!