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Anonymous #1

G/f Addicted to OC.
    #11224622 - 10/11/09 02:57 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

I'm going to keep this short. So I have been dating this girl for 5 months. It has been an amazing time, I am so in love with her... I have never felt this way about someone and I never thought someone could be so right for me. Otherwise, I don't think I would care as much as I do if she wasn't so unique and amazing. It has been a bit of a rocky relationship mostly in that there were a lot of behavioral things I had to put up with. Mostly unreliability, selfishness, and mood swings were the biggest things. Other than those things we have the best time together, I can feel that she really loves me, and I want to spend my life with her.

Of course it just can't be that simple... I found out two days ago why. Shes addicted to OC and she has a $3000.00 a month habit (2 80's a day), in which she works tons of hours as a nurse and she also sells on the side to support this insane habit. I am worried about her health and about our future. I am wondering what can I really do? I have never done OC and while I am very accepting of drugs, those are mostly psychedelics. I don't know that much about OC just what I've read. I read on how to help her detox, what I didn't find was how to cope with this on my end and what I should really do. The part of me that hopes wants to help and stick around for her no matter what. The hopeless part of me wants to tell her parents about the problem, and walk away. Just thinking about this made me cry harder than I ever have in my whole life. I have dealt with a father who was an alcoholic, and a mentor who I lost to addiction. I just don't want to lose another person to addiction, it really saddens me. I really love her. So I would like answers geared more towards how to help deal with it, rather than run. I honestly don't think I can run away from her no matter how hard I try.


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InvisibleMufungo
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Re: G/f Addicted to OC. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11224680 - 10/11/09 03:12 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

What does she say about OC and her addiction and what she wants? Is she content not to change for the time being?


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Anonymous #1

Re: G/f Addicted to OC. [Re: Mufungo]
    #11224696 - 10/11/09 03:15 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

She wound up telling me because she was very distant for two days and I wanted to know what was up, thats when she told me she was detoxing and about her problem. She told me she wants to quit and to believe in her. I do believe in her but I am semi pessimistic when it comes to opiates. I am not sure if she can do it without professional help.


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InvisibleMufungo
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Re: G/f Addicted to OC. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11224748 - 10/11/09 03:32 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

It seems she values her own autonomy to sort it out herself, so let her. She might fail, she might not.

So are you saying that the dilemma for you is to wonder whether under the circumstances you should stay or should you go?

If so, what's important to you about staying under the circumstances?

And what's important to you about leaving under the circumstances?


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Anonymous #1

Re: G/f Addicted to OC. [Re: Mufungo]
    #11224762 - 10/11/09 03:38 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

I just want to know ways to help me deal with this, because I don't think I can leave her to deal on her own. On the other hand I think it could be easier for me to shut her out and let it take its course. That is the selfish way and though I am selfish once again I care about her so much that I would take a bullet for her. :frown:


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InvisibleMufungo
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Re: G/f Addicted to OC. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11224799 - 10/11/09 03:59 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

To help you deal with it, first it helps to know specifically what the issue is and what you both want. I'll assume from what you said that you have already decided that under the circumstances you'll stay with her and you now want to know some options of what you could do next...

The first person I'd ask about what you could do next is her. Ask her if she wants you involved at all in her detox or wants you involved in any of her OC business or whether she'd prefer you to stay on the sidelines. She's kept it from you thus far, so it's unclear to me from what you've said whether she wants you to do anything other than what you've already been doing.

If she doesn't want your direct help, then you might want to consider whether you are happy to not help and let her deal with it alone or whether you feel some sort of obligation to impose yourself in helping her.. Sometimes just being there with her, letting her know that you love her, having fun, taking her mind off of the OC, and all of that can be a great help for her.

If she does want your help, then ask her what sort of help she wants from you. When she tells you, ask her how specifically would she like you to help in that way. Get as much info as you can from her. If she doesn't know how you could help her, then you could make some sort of agreement between you to keep communicating what you're each thinking and feeling as you go.

Most important is to keep doing stuff that doesn't directly relate to her problem with OC. So you'll both have things other than OC to talk to each other about..


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OfflinePowerTrip
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Re: G/f Addicted to OC. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11224926 - 10/11/09 05:01 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

I went through this with a girl I dated.  I thought she was perfect at the time too, despite the fact that she had all of the same flaws as your girl (unreliable, selfish, mood swings).  Ultimately her selfishness and drug habit made it impossible for us to stay together.  I wanted to help her with it.  I tried desperately but I found it was hopeless.  It just turned into her hiding it from me and lying about it.  She would be unable to even stand up straight and would swear she hadn't taken anything.

I hope things work out better for you.  I had to accept the old adage that people cannot be helped unless they want to be.


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I spit reality, instead of what you usually learn
and I refuse to be concerned with condescending advice
cause I'm the only motherfucker that can change my life


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OfflineAlmond Flour
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Re: G/f Addicted to OC. [Re: PowerTrip]
    #11225738 - 10/11/09 11:52 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

Quote:

PowerTrip said:
I went through this with a girl I dated.  I thought she was perfect at the time too, despite the fact that she had all of the same flaws as your girl (unreliable, selfish, mood swings).  Ultimately her selfishness and drug habit made it impossible for us to stay together.  I wanted to help her with it.  I tried desperately but I found it was hopeless.  It just turned into her hiding it from me and lying about it.  She would be unable to even stand up straight and would swear she hadn't taken anything.

I hope things work out better for you.  I had to accept the old adage that people cannot be helped unless they want to be.



+1


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Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:


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OfflineGinseng1
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Re: G/f Addicted to OC. [Re: Almond Flour]
    #11226471 - 10/11/09 02:46 PM (8 years, 12 days ago)

Yes.  You cannot help those that aren't willing to help themselves.


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Flowing through beginningless time since time without beginning...


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OfflineLbDub
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Re: G/f Addicted to OC. [Re: Ginseng1]
    #11240552 - 10/13/09 06:21 PM (8 years, 10 days ago)

I believe if you told her parents about her problem she'd feel very betrayed and would have a hard time forgiving you.

Seriously, if she wanted her parents to know, they'd know. She wanted you to know and she obviously has enough trust in you to tell you without having to worry about who else you're going to tell.

Sounds like your girl is atleast an addict with her job/finances in line etc. She doesn't sound like a junkie. Try to help her.. don't try to force her into rehab or tell her parents. If you and your girl can't work something out with her addiction you can always leave.. or accept that she's a drug addict and continue your relationship while being supportive of her trying to stop.

Have a serious talk with her and ask her if she would be willing to get on a Suboxone plan. If she says no she is definitely not serious about quitting(unless she wanted to go through withdrawals cold turkey, and I don't see that being very likely).


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Offlinedummy
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Re: G/f Addicted to OC. [Re: LbDub]
    #11241623 - 10/13/09 09:08 PM (8 years, 10 days ago)

run and never look back. selfish? unreliable? mood swings? $3000/mo opiate addiction? she maybe a great girl, but you can do better than this. try to think about what a future with a person like this will be like.

i really don't mean to offend, this is just what i think


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People never seem to know what they least suspect is coming next.


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OfflineOzekat
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Re: G/f Addicted to OC. [Re: dummy]
    #11243507 - 10/14/09 02:01 AM (8 years, 9 days ago)

Dude, go camping with her for 2 weeks.  That will really tell you whats up.

Of course, no drugs.


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Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.
- Chinese Proverb

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OfflineAmber_Glow
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Re: G/f Addicted to OC. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11245137 - 10/14/09 12:38 PM (8 years, 9 days ago)

Tell her she needs to go to rehab or you are leaving her.  You need to help push her into wanting to help herself.  Leaving her might be the kindest thing you can do to help her.


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Re: G/f Addicted to OC. [Re: Amber_Glow]
    #11251118 - 10/15/09 07:11 AM (8 years, 8 days ago)

Its hard to go through that I have seen many friends go through the same thing. :frown:


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OfflineGulfripper
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Re: G/f Addicted to OC. [Re: Effed]
    #11262042 - 10/16/09 09:06 PM (8 years, 7 days ago)

Well I can lend some advice here. OC's ar eone hell of an addicting drug I know because I got wrapped up in it. It starts out cool everybody around is doing it and you say what the hell. Everyone at my work was hooked (not good I used to climb cell towers) and my main friend that I had was a long user of it. Next thing I knew I was using oxys to get up, to get motivated, to do anything. That's when it bit me and became a huge problem and it happens very very quick. After about a year of use I got help. Bupenorphine is a great drug for opiate addiction from what I understand its fairly expensive I didn't pay for mine being an veteran. If she really wants help shell get it and Paying 400 a month for some suboxone/bupenorphine ain't shit compared to a 3000 dollar  a month habit. Being a nurse you should definitely help her get clean. I had a friend who's mom was an RN great job but she was stealing morphine to support a habit and then got caught. It would be a waste for your girlfriend to lose a job, certification, and pretty much her degree once her cert gets revoked. I'm pretty Sir they would also frown if she failed for opiates. 3 days to get clean for a piss may sound easy but it is definitely harder than you think. Honestly even if you decide you want out and her habit is to bad you should probably do what you can to help her, if you turn your back and something goes wrong it will be hard to forgive yourself. good luck man if you got any question feel free to ask and if she gets on bupe dont stay on it to long it cant produce w/d's though fairly easy to get over with a taper and not anything compared to opiate w/d.


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Offlinegozo
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Re: G/f Addicted to OC. [Re: Gulfripper]
    #11265279 - 10/17/09 02:00 PM (8 years, 6 days ago)

did not know so many people were addicted to oc. my friend recently got locked up for five months because of probation violation because he was railing oc's every day. The only way I think he quit was by being locked up


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OfflineLbDub
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Re: G/f Addicted to OC. [Re: gozo]
    #11288902 - 10/21/09 01:05 AM (8 years, 3 days ago)

OP any updates??


Quote:

gozo said:
did not know so many people were addicted to oc. my friend recently got locked up for five months because of probation violation because he was railing oc's every day. The only way I think he quit was by being locked up





Watch this, pretty fucking sobering.

http://current.com/groups/vanguard-the-oxycontin-express/


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