Home | Community | Message Board


RVF Garden Supply
Please support our sponsors.

Community >> Physical and Mental Well-Being

Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Original Seeds Store Shop: Cannabis Seeds

Jump to first unread post. Pages: 1
Offlineunsui888
Embodied

Registered: 10/11/08
Posts: 1,135
Loc: ca
Last seen: 5 days, 20 hours
No Motivation Leading to Relapse
    #11217984 - 10/09/09 11:52 PM (8 years, 12 days ago)

so first off i'll give you a little brief history. i have been addicted to opiates for the past 4 years with heroin IV being my main choice these past 2 years, but i attempted sobriety back in july of last year by being put on suboxone maintenance. as soon as i was off the subx i relapsed and fell right back into the same path as before. then the beg. of this year i was placed on suboxone again for an extended period of time. i went 6 1/2 months clean, but relapsed about 3 weeks ago and this past weekend. i am 21 years of age, very skinny, in college, studying addiction and psychology, don't work out, try and eat as healthy as possible, etc. i am also a inspiring producer/DJ and music is pretty much my life.

i find myself having no motivation to do the things i set out for myself to do. activities i tell myself i'm going to do include: meditation, eat healthy, eat a lot more frequently to gain weight, work out in a minor fashion, study, and learn the piano. i cannot find any motivation whatsoever in order to accomplish these things. i find myself wasting away the day behind a computer screen instead of cooking a meal, or working out, or even making music which is my main love! all i say to myself is "oh i'll do it later" and then procrastinate like never before. i mean i have always procrastinated, but now i am way worse when i told myself i would do the opposite! i don't even have any motives to leave my house much as i have no "real" friends up here away from home in college. and my college town is known for its partying, which i can't really even be apart of while in recovery.

i do smoke weed everyday, but try to keep it to when i DJ or produce music, or before bed. besides quitting weed, where can i find the motivation that resides inside the depths of my soul?!!! not even DMT has sparked motivation in life for me...and psychedelics always used to do that! i find myself thinking about heroin a lot more lately and acting out on those thoughts. i think when i have the veins available for it i am so fixated upon the drug, but when my veins are shot i can really stop and have motivation to occupy myself with other things. this can't be my only incentive though! HELP!!!

ps - i know only myself can pull me out of this rut...


--------------------
"a note for asses: what is very convincing, is not necessarily true - it is merely convincing"

primus------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------mama didn't raise no fool


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Invisibleshowme
Stranger
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/24/09
Posts: 1,782
Re: No Motivation Leading to Relapse [Re: unsui888]
    #11218718 - 10/10/09 02:44 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

fuck, I'm sorry, your second paragraph sounds like me.

maybe some advice given to you on this thread might muster up some insipiration in you to push yourself. maybe not.

I'm sorry I can't help you. I really am. I'm sorry this post is  useless, but I'm still typing it.

I guess I am just here because I am in some ways where you are, and I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry, because it sucks. Even if I don't have to be.

You could... get rid of your computer. If you finally decide it is ENOUGH and are ready to take drastic measures. Like tell someone you trust to hide it for you until you think you've got your act together.

Good luck to the both of us. Take it easy.


--------------------
Imagination is the organ of meaning.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlineunsui888
Embodied

Registered: 10/11/08
Posts: 1,135
Loc: ca
Last seen: 5 days, 20 hours
Re: No Motivation Leading to Relapse [Re: showme]
    #11223494 - 10/10/09 11:46 PM (8 years, 11 days ago)

yeah i knew others could relate. i just don't know what's causing this...i don't even have any motivation to cook myself a delicious dinner and i have the resources to do so.

i did however start studying today, but that's only because my exam is in 2 days. i also have a book report i have not started that is due in 3 days. i ALWAYS procrastinate due to lack of motivation and it doesn't matter what the fuck it is. i'll tell myself i'm going to cook dinner at 7 or so, then 8, then 9, then by the time it's 11 i just wait for midnight to go to bed. smoking marijuana used to be effective in eating, but now i just smoke and sit stoned w/ my stomach growling...

i guess i should change this thread title to "WHY THE FUCK DO I NOT HAVE THE MOTIVATION TO EAT?!!!!"


--------------------
"a note for asses: what is very convincing, is not necessarily true - it is merely convincing"

primus------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------mama didn't raise no fool


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinestereolabster
Stranger
Registered: 03/14/09
Posts: 26
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
Re: No Motivation Leading to Relapse [Re: unsui888]
    #11223882 - 10/11/09 12:48 AM (8 years, 11 days ago)

I've struggled with this all my life.  I hate to break this to you but you will have to quit weed and develop some spirituality so that you can draw on something bigger than yourself.  I wish this wasn't true but a lifetime of struggling against this has taught me otherwise.  Good luck and let me know how things go for you...seriously!


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlineusulpsychonaut
Satanist
Male


Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 2,788
Loc: Northland, New Zealand. Flag
Last seen: 5 hours, 10 minutes
Re: No Motivation Leading to Relapse [Re: unsui888]
    #11227655 - 10/11/09 06:21 PM (8 years, 10 days ago)

I am right where you are. I give up. There is no way I can achieve anything. The path of failure is impossible to grasp. If I could get rid of my hopes and dreams then I would not feel so much pain, but I have to fail so ambitions always surface and torment me. I hope that somewhere in time there is an answer, some gold to be found in my black pit of despair, but then many people are just doomed, flawed and crushed. Faith that there might be some redemption to be found in focusing on the negative has to falter, to allow the sorrow to reach it's peaks and to inspire suicidal fantasy's. The loneliness really eats me, I feel I would like interaction with others who suffer. It is hard for me to relate to motivated achieving people.


--------------------
Hitler is beyond your conception to judge or criticize.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinestereolabster
Stranger
Registered: 03/14/09
Posts: 26
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
Re: No Motivation Leading to Relapse [Re: usulpsychonaut]
    #11229302 - 10/11/09 10:28 PM (8 years, 10 days ago)

Feel free to pm me if you need someone to talk to.  I am well acquainted with failure and despondancy even though on the surface this may not be apparent all the time.  For what it's worth, you are a great writer! You put together a very descriptive succinct post, no small achievement around these parts.....


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Offlinesadspacemonkey
!universe!
Female User Gallery


Registered: 11/01/06
Posts: 376
Last seen: 7 months, 25 days
Re: No Motivation Leading to Relapse [Re: stereolabster]
    #11260243 - 10/16/09 04:12 PM (8 years, 5 days ago)

I probably shouldn't be giving anyone advice as I am currently in a similar mode... But here's my two cents .. 

I would focus on one thing at a time...I've found pulling myself out of a pit starts with taking care of physical needs so you have the strength to tackle everything else. Make sure you eat well everyday. Really push yourself to make that dinner. Set a time for yourself and stick to it, if that helps. Taking a break from smoking may also help. It's not easy but it's worth a try.

It sounds like you're very isolated. If you can find others who are interested in making music, cooking, etc, you can be a great help to each other. Maybe try starting a club or strike up conversations with others who look like they share your interests. I've found the more socially isolated I am the more I get addicted to screens, as you say. And if people aren't your cup of tea right now, try a connection with nature... Go hiking, get a pet. Anything to get you connected to life

Finally, I would look deep into these current fears. It sounds like you're attached to your dreams
and fear failure. I apologize if I'm totally off. What's your real reason behind what you do? If making music is fun for you, then there should be no motivation needed. Have faith in yourself and what you do. This is something I am struggling with too...Just letting things flow naturally and happily instead of stressing over shoulds and shouldn'ts... You said it got worse when you decided to take a stand against procrastination... Maybe that's what threw things off a bit, leaving you to wrestle with a shadow. Throw the whole concept of procrastination out the window and just do what you need to do and what you like to do in the moment, trying not to take it all so seriously.

Another idea... Use weed as motivation? Don't smoke till after you cook that meal or write that paper. Then you'll have extra reason to kick your own ass. 

I hope that helps! Best of luck! <3


--------------------

"I can't be told by anyone how to live. If I said to the minister 'Move from your home' he would think I was mad." Bushman : Botswana


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineMushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs
Female User Gallery Arcade Champion: Squirrel Soccer


Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 1 month, 16 days
Re: No Motivation Leading to Relapse [Re: unsui888]
    #11264546 - 10/17/09 11:14 AM (8 years, 5 days ago)

Well, you could start by not looking at motivations outside yourself, such as DMT, eating healthy, music, etc. You just seem to be complicating things for yourself by convincing yourself you have no motivation, as if it already should be there, and since it isn't there there's nothing you can do about it.
Besides, it is quite obvious that you have some motivation since you made this thread and expressed your intention to change something in your life. But just like with anything else, if you don't use it you lose it, which means that in order to raise your motivation you'll have to practice it.
A good start would be to simply start thinking a lot more about why you want to change, without feeling frustrated of guilty about where you are right now because this will you even emptier and exhausted than you were before.


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Jump to top. Pages: 1

Original Seeds Store Shop: Cannabis Seeds

Community >> Physical and Mental Well-Being

Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* I have no motivation at all. Anonymous 1,355 15 04/13/08 10:40 PM
by token matt
* My Exercise, Motivation, Ass-Kicking-As-Required Thread
( 1 2 all )
MOTH 3,267 26 06/03/04 03:16 AM
by Strumpling
* No motivation daba 1,584 17 05/27/08 08:37 PM
by ChiefGreenLeaf
* Serious issues with Motivation KillerBjt 762 13 04/06/09 11:57 PM
by sterbeklang
* Lack of social motivation Mushie_Man 1,192 11 06/16/05 02:27 AM
by nitroguy
* Methods for inceasing motivation
( 1 2 all )
navyseals101 2,112 20 08/02/07 02:54 PM
by mick
* Motivation and Processing speed navyseals101 874 5 01/14/08 05:42 AM
by Sacrebleu
* motivation joe Biggs 444 5 10/04/09 11:22 AM
by mozhual

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: CherryBom, boO, Rose, yogabunny, Jokeshopbeard, CookieCrumbs, Memories
1,076 topic views. 1 members, 12 guests and 1 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Toggle Favorite | Print Topic | Stats ]
Search this thread:

Please support our sponsors.

Copyright 1997-2017 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.037 seconds spending 0.006 seconds on 20 queries.