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Anonymous #1

im slicing open my arm and pouring baking soda on it
    #11211787 - 10/09/09 12:44 AM (8 years, 11 days ago)

i reverted back to my teenage highschool bullshit of cutting. i havent done this shit for over a year. BLAH


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InvisibleCameron
Too Many Words
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Registered: 10/31/07
Posts: 4,437
Loc: Canada
Re: im slicing open my arm and pouring baking soda on it [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11211839 - 10/09/09 12:50 AM (8 years, 11 days ago)

What prompted the relapse?


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Anonymous #2

Re: im slicing open my arm and pouring baking soda on it [Re: Cameron]
    #11211871 - 10/09/09 12:54 AM (8 years, 11 days ago)

Not OK


Edited by Anonymous (10/09/09 02:16 AM)


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OfflineOrgasmicBanana
aka "PICO"
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Re: im slicing open my arm and pouring baking soda on it [Re: Cameron]
    #11211904 - 10/09/09 12:59 AM (8 years, 11 days ago)

bah there goes my anonymity there you go shroomery hah


Edited by OrgasmicBanana (10/09/09 01:00 AM)


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OfflineOrgasmicBanana
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Re: im slicing open my arm and pouring baking soda on it [Re: OrgasmicBanana]
    #11211931 - 10/09/09 01:03 AM (8 years, 11 days ago)

whatever. its a stupid story.. stupid. just the surface


Edited by OrgasmicBanana (10/09/09 01:22 AM)


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OfflineOrgasmicBanana
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Re: im slicing open my arm and pouring baking soda on it [Re: OrgasmicBanana]
    #11211954 - 10/09/09 01:06 AM (8 years, 11 days ago)

plus my anxiety is so out of control i cant get to sleep until 2 or 2am and then i wake up at 6 in a panic and cant sleep, crash sometime during my college classes and this week ive just been crying i cant take it. i broke my netbook 20 days after i bought it. i cant program worth shit either i suck ass everyone else in there knows c++ though he teaches python it just sucks


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OfflineOrgasmicBanana
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Re: im slicing open my arm and pouring baking soda on it [Re: OrgasmicBanana]
    #11211975 - 10/09/09 01:11 AM (8 years, 11 days ago)

i guess its just nothing. its me. when things are terrible i just want to destroy myself


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InvisibleCameron
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Re: im slicing open my arm and pouring baking soda on it [Re: OrgasmicBanana]
    #11212169 - 10/09/09 01:41 AM (8 years, 11 days ago)

Sometimes, when I find I'm dwelling on my mistakes and insecurities, I like to make a list. Just start typing everything you're happy about and grateful for. I'll do a few of my own:

I woke up in good health today, in a warm bed, with food in my fridge, clothes in my drawers, and family members I love in the next room.

I live in one of the freest, most comfortable places in the world, with opportunities the vast majority would give nearly anything for.

I'm only 20, and in all likelihood I have fifty years of health ahead of me.

What other people think of me is much less important than what I think of myself.

I can pee standing up!
:tongue:

---


And breathe. Deep breaths, from the belly. Concentrate on the air flowing in, filling your lungs -- your chest steadily rising, reaching a peak. Think about every amazing bodily process that makes that possible. It's baffling and comforting and something I don't stop to appreciate often enough.

I sincerely hope you feel better, OB. And laugh instead of hurting yourself. :heart:


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Re: im slicing open my arm and pouring baking soda on it [Re: Cameron]
    #11212243 - 10/09/09 01:56 AM (8 years, 11 days ago)

but i CANT pee standing up :emocry:

hahaaaa jk.
i guess its a good idea but i wish i was normal sometimes. now everyones gonna ask me why im not in new york and what happened to my arm


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InvisibleMufungo
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Re: im slicing open my arm and pouring baking soda on it [Re: OrgasmicBanana]
    #11212257 - 10/09/09 01:58 AM (8 years, 11 days ago)

I don't know if my words will help your situation but I know the feeling and things will get better again eventually. I get the sense that you've probably got a great strength deep down that you haven't utilised for some time, so what do you think about digging down and accessing it again. Ignore the tormentors, they're not worth the time, their opinions are worthless and they really can't hurt you, no matter what they said. Turn your back on it all and make a new start. And when things are better, now how do you want to look back on how you handled those terrible things? With style, with grace, with natural strength, or with humour? Cause 20 years from now, all of this will matter very little... In the meantime give yourself a break, let go, smile in celebration and acknowledgement of your memory now forgetting those people completely. All the best to you...

:peace:


--------------------


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Re: im slicing open my arm and pouring baking soda on it [Re: Mufungo]
    #11216388 - 10/09/09 06:08 PM (8 years, 10 days ago)

no what was said was exactly correct. gratitude does not involve self pity, and self pity comes from taking one thing too seriously. i should give things the significance they truly have and be happy for what i do have.
i know cutting never makes things better, i learn it over and over hah.
i got attacked by a cat last night too, and now its hella infected ima havta roll up my sleeves for some doctor now haha

my professor says they can only keep you in an institution for 72 hours though :thumbup:


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