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Why must all women have issues?
    #11202955 -

I'm dating this girl, and she's awesome.  Really chill, almost never have any problems at all - except when I bring up sex.  If I'm ever like "we need to have more sex", she freaks out on me.  She says it's degrading.

We've been dating for just over a month now, maybe a month and a half, and haven't fucked in probably 3 weeks now.  It's not degrading for me to bring it up, and I'm not even mad - I just want her to know how I feel.  I want this to work, and I really like her, and the only way that I can see myself being in a relationship is if I'm perfectly honest about everything.

Why do women make such a big deal out of fucking everything?

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11202985 -

She's being perfectly honest about how she feels about it as well. You sort of act like your opinion on sex is the right one and hers is the wrong one. Who are you to tell her she's making a big deal if she just doesn't wanna fuck like an animal?


--------------------
Imagination is the organ of meaning.

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11202995 -

She doesn't want to be with you.  It's obvious to everyone but you.

Together for six weeks, no sex for three.  Do you need a billboard?


--------------------
Coaster is an idiot...
[quote]Coaster said:
but i thnk everything thats pure is white?
[/quote]



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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: showme]
    #11203003 -

I assume when dating, sex is on the schedule multiple times a week.

If you're seeing someone daily or several times a week and you're not having sex weekly... but that's complete fail.

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: showme]
    #11203017 -

Let's be honest - 3 weeks is way too long.  I'm not talking about being an animal, but I would like to fuck at least once a week.  That is not unreasonable, and it's not like she doesn't like it.  And I'm not trying to be a huge dick.  The problem also isn't necessarily that we don't have sex.  The biggest problem is she seems to think just TALKING about it to be degrading to her somehow.

If I have an issue, I'm going to bring it up - I've been through a couple of super shitty relationships with terrible communication, and I'm not gonna let that happen again.

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: Hanky]
    #11203036 -

Hanky said:
She doesn't want to be with you.  It's obvious to everyone but you.

Together for six weeks, no sex for three.  Do you need a billboard?


This isn't the case though.  She's really stressing about school, and is on academic probation.  That's definitely part of it, and I understand that.  But we still hang out for at least a bit pretty much every day.  And she's definitely very into me, there's no doubt, believe me.

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11203056 -

She's not making a big deal out of fucking everything.


Just fucking you.


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!

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11203068 -

Shes a lesbian


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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: DeathCompany]
    #11203113 -

ask her why she isn't having sex with you?


--------------------
If there were no rewards to reap,No loving embrace to see me through
This tedious path I've chosen here,I certainly would've walked away by now.
Gonna wait it out.
If there were no desire to heal The damaged and broken met along
This tedious path I've chosen hereI certainly would've walked away by now.
And I still may ... (sigh) ... I still may.Be patient.
I must keep reminding myself of this.

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: DeathCompany]
    #11203128 -

Use your :facepalm:  Then your always be right...


--------------------
:Awesketch:

:cool: Fair is Fair :devil:

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: Brainiac]
    #11203144 -

Just stick it in her. Surprise!


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+1 Post ٩(̾๏̮̮̃̾๏̃̾)۶


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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: Hanky]
    #11203160 -

pwnasaurus said:
Hanky said:
She doesn't want to be with you.  It's obvious to everyone but you.

Together for six weeks, no sex for three.  Do you need a billboard?


This isn't the case though.  She's really stressing about school, and is on academic probation.  That's definitely part of it, and I understand that.  But we still hang out for at least a bit pretty much every day.  And she's definitely very into me, there's no doubt, believe me.



Denial, LOL.


Hanky said:
  It's obvious to everyone but you.





--------------------
Coaster is an idiot...
[quote]Coaster said:
but i thnk everything thats pure is white?
[/quote]



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. [Re: gzuf]
    #11203165 -

.


--------------------
.

Edited by AnonymousRabbit (05/19/22 12:55 AM)

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: gzuf]
    #11203167 -

This is my first thread ever to get more than like 5 responses.  You can always count on a thread about women + sex = lots of responses hahaha

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. [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11203180 -

.


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.

Edited by AnonymousRabbit (05/18/22 02:05 PM)

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. [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11203183 -

.

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: AnonymousRabbit]
    #11203191 -

supernovasky said:
But believe me, I know how bad it gets when you have to ask for sex. I used to do that a long time ago, when I was stuck in sexless relationships. I mean you gotta lay down the law man. Do things to turn her on, blatantly, and if she still doesn't respond, ditch her. It's not worth being stuck in a mutually exclusive relationship without sex, honestly.


If things don't change soon, then I definitely will.  It would suck though, because other than that, so far she's everything I'm looking for.  Oh well - if there's one thing I've learned from staying in shitty relationships, it's when to cut it off.

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: z_x_x_z]
    #11203196 -

Quote:
suck her toes and eat her asshole. PM Gumby for instructions.


Hahaha do it, surprise rimjob, that will get a reaction.

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: Chubba]
    #11203227 -

supernovasky said:
Gotta turn her on man.

Either you're failing, or someone else is succeeding, or both.


That's not even it though.  She gets turned on, and stops me before we fuck - sometimes I even get her pants off and finger her and shit too.  And she is wet as FUCK at this point, 150% ready to go.  At first she was giving me "not during the school week, makes me too tired for class, blah blah blah".  Wasn't a huge fan of that, but whatever, I can deal with it.  But after 3 sexless weekends, I'm starting to wonder....

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11203256 -

i don't understand why she'd feel degraded by you wanting to talk about sex :confused: that screams deep-seeded issues right there. either try to get her to talk about them, or move it along. i'm guessing this is going to be a huge fuckin can of worms, i hope you're ready. girls usually want to bang as bad as us dudes do, and the ones that don't have often had some seriously bad shit happen to them.

seriously, 3 dry weeks during the first month? wtf?

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. [Re: Hendostan]
    #11203262 -

.

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: z_x_x_z]
    #11203274 -

dr_gonz said:
:hi:


next!


exactly.

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: Hendostan]
    #11203307 -

I'm giving it one more week - this weekend is canadian Thanksgiving, and I'm going home for the weekend.  By next Sunday, if I have not had the best sex of my life, she's done.

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11203358 -

Sounds like she gets boned on the side.




I'd listen to hanky.

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11203388 -

Ya school should be no excuse for lack of sex.




If anything the amount of BS she goes through in school should INCREASE the sex.......take off a load..........


Why the fuck would a chick want to get all worked up and then leave herself hangin?




Sounds to me like shes trying as hard as possible not to let you get comfortable in the sex department.


She's probably got hopes for bigger and better, and you are just right now.........sorry chum.....

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11203475 -

Just use your hand...:facepalm:


--------------------
:Awesketch:

:cool: Fair is Fair :devil:

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. [Re: Brainiac]
    #11203576 -

.

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: z_x_x_z]
    #11203610 -

the sight of the blade had triggered bad memories...

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. [Re: Hendostan]
    #11203612 -

.

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11203636 -

pwnasaurus said:
supernovasky said:
But believe me, I know how bad it gets when you have to ask for sex. I used to do that a long time ago, when I was stuck in sexless relationships. I mean you gotta lay down the law man. Do things to turn her on, blatantly, and if she still doesn't respond, ditch her. It's not worth being stuck in a mutually exclusive relationship without sex, honestly.


If things don't change soon, then I definitely will.  It would suck though, because other than that, so far she's everything I'm looking for.  Oh well - if there's one thing I've learned from staying in shitty relationships, it's when to cut it off.


I'm curious as to what's in that giant bag in your avatar, looking like it contains some sort of powder...?


--------------------

"In the 60s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal...go figure."

Becoming human was not part of the plan...

I wish I could be as high as my tolerance-danlennon

Reality is a crutch for those that can't cope with drugs.

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: magikgrl]
    #11203648 -

MDA :smile:

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11203718 -

I say you put your foot down and get her to talk about...wait...Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving?!?


--------------------
"I reject your reality and substitute my own." - Adam Savage

Haikus are easy,
But sometimes they don't make sense.
Refrigerator.

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: AereolaBorialis]
    #11203723 -

AereolaBorialis said:
I say you put your foot down and get her to talk about...wait...Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving?!?


How aboot that


--------------------
:Awesketch:

:cool: Fair is Fair :devil:

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11203750 -

pwnasaurus said:
MDA :smile:


:thumbup:


--------------------

"In the 60s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal...go figure."

Becoming human was not part of the plan...

I wish I could be as high as my tolerance-danlennon

Reality is a crutch for those that can't cope with drugs.

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: z_x_x_z]
    #11204394 -

dr_gonz said:
Write "Back Door Beauty ? " on a napkin and slide it across the kitchen table tomorrow...


Hendostan said:
the sight of the blade had triggered bad memories...


dr_gonz said:
It's the name of a horse I used to own :crankey:


:rofl2:


--------------------

Synchronicity is an ever present reality
for those who have eyes to see.

Meditation is the dissolution of thoughts in Eternal awareness or Pure consciousness
without objectification, knowing without thinking, merging finitude in infinity.

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: lost in Ummagumma]
    #11204558 -

Women and sex is very complicated. I'm female, yet I'm definitely not the girly-girl. Growing up, I was buddies with the guys and that let me see a lot of girl behavior, psychology, and issues from an objective viewpoint.

Girls are usually introduced to sex as something for reproduction and something not to do. Sex, parents say, is wonderful if you're married/love someone, but it's bad when it's done too early or without proper protection. It can result in a child before you're ready to care for it. So sex already has a negative feel to it. You might have an unwanted kid if you have sex.

Girls are usually taught to not have sex unless they love someone or are married because of obvious consequences. Guys start asking girls (and sometimes pressuring) girls for sex in their teenage years and onwards. Girls usually go two ways with this. One, the girl remembers her mom's words and feels guilt, or shame, or disgust towards sex as a whole. These girls grow up with negative feelings towards sex. Or two, the girl gives in and indulges in "forbidden pleasures." These types turn out slutty.

Every girl knows at least one other girl who is a slut, who is a virgin, who got pregnant, who was a victim of sexual abuse. There's a LOT of negativity that surrounds girls and sex.

Messages tell us every day to have sex. Our instincts tell us to have sex. Yet our morals tell us not to. Our society says not to. If a girl enjoys sex, she's labeled as a whore or a slut. If she doesn't have any, she's a virgin or inexperienced. It can get quite overwhelming.

I'm not sure if I can help your personal problem, but I hope I served as insight into what many girls have to face. There are too many mixed messages and very few girls I know know how to get past that and just enjoy it with their partner.

Sex  is a part of life. We shouldn't be ashamed of it or closed minded about it because of old taboos.


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-

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: Dynoo]
    #11204651 -

She actually called me after the incident today and called me an asshole for saying I need sex more than once every 2-3 weeks.

Texts basically went like this:

Her: Blah blah blah, I know I've been busy, I'm sorry if you've been sexually frustrated.
Me: Ya, I definitely need sex more than once every 2 or 3 weeks.
Her: Wow, you're such an ass, I can't believe you would say that.
Me: I'm just trying to be honest and open.  We're in a relationship, and I want to talk about things to AVOID issues, not make more.

Then she calls me later, looking to get weed for her friend, which is fine, and then throws in "you're an asshole for saying that earlier".  All I was trying to do is make sure she knows I'm not OK with the amount of sex we're having, ie none.  I don't see where I went wrong.

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11204662 -

I'm not trying to be rude here, but you might want start getting yourself out of that relationship.


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-

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11204670 -

Dudue I am having the ame exact problem with my old lady right now. We just got into a big fight about this shit. I need to go to bed but I don't want to fight with her. Looks like I'm sleeping on the couch. All I wanted was some pussy.


--------------------
Money can't buy you love, but it can buy you drugs.

Try practicing safe sex and go fuck yourself!

AMU

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11204696 -

pwnasaurus said:
She actually called me after the incident today and called me an asshole for saying I need sex more than once every 2-3 weeks.

Texts basically went like this:

Her: Blah blah blah, I know I've been busy, I'm sorry if you've been sexually frustrated.
Me: Ya, I definitely need sex more than once every 2 or 3 weeks.
Her: Wow, you're such an ass, I can't believe you would say that.
Me: I'm just trying to be honest and open.  We're in a relationship, and I want to talk about things to AVOID issues, not make more.

Then she calls me later, looking to get weed for her friend, which is fine, and then throws in "you're an asshole for saying that earlier".  All I was trying to do is make sure she knows I'm not OK with the amount of sex we're having, ie none.  I don't see where I went wrong.



Dear god leave her

Unless she agrees to taking a mickey a few times a week. She wont remember or be conscious so how could she care. Win Win.

And I'm still going with lesbian. Maybe she doesn't quite know it yet herself. Definitely textbook unaware lesbian.

Ask her if shes gay when its private and shes REALLY high. See if shes cries or something.


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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: DeathCompany]
    #11204710 -

This thread is :facepalm:

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: Solemente]
    #11204734 -

She said she's been with a girl once before - and she gave her her first orgasm...

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11204823 -

Makes her too tired for class?

Dude, She's Just Not That Into You.

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11204830 -

pwnasaurus said:
She said she's been with a girl once before - and she gave her her first orgasm...



Lol definitely a closet lesbian. I would really ask her.

Why do you want to deal with this.


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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: DeathCompany]
    #11204892 -

Better luck next time  :ugly:


--------------------
Bufotenine Yopo/Cebil Info | Guide to Hunting/Using Fly Agarics
Good Drug Books
PCPiHKAL|Rhodium

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: Entropymancer]
    #11204919 -

Yeah all these people saying shes not into you don't know what they are talking about. If shes spending time with you and says she loves you but does not want to have sex she is obviously confused. Sadly yes Ive seen it before she is most likely a lesbian. I have also heard the sex is degrading line before. Have a serious conversation about it with her. And as much as you don't want to believe it she is not going to change. Not unless she has some drastic experiences in the next 5 to 10 years.


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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: DeathCompany]
    #11204927 -

Dude, I've been wondering about this myself lately.  Refer to my threads in the past 6 months that I've made (the ones about the girl), you'll see the issues she's got are insane.  Insecurities that she dumped on me.  She finally called me and realized how shitty she had been treating me.  I didn't rub it in however...


--------------------
OP is now RP!  Read about it here!


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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: Maverick]
    #11204960 -

Yeah, guys she's definitely into me.  We have a great time when we hang out, with or without friends.  No drama, no bullshit, and NO SEX.  I'm gonna have a good talk with her tomorrow - and hopefully some good fucking too!

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11204978 -

have you ever considered she may have been sexually abused? or something like that

basically telling her she needs to get in line and put out more is not exactly the most considerate thing


--------------------
MY HAIR IS A BIRD 
YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11204988 -

I'd hate to be a negative voice, but it sounds like you do need to have a talk, but it probably wont end in fucking.

If you can't turn her on and you can't figure out what's really going on in her mind, you have problems. Problems which will need painful resolutions.

People who are butterfly stages of love fuck like madmen, they will miss their responsibilities just to get a fucking taste of that euphoria.

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: the bizzle]
    #11205007 -

the bizzle said:
have you ever considered she may have been sexually abused? or something like that

basically telling her she needs to get in line and put out more is not exactly the most considerate thing


Yeah, something is obviously up that she hasn't communicated with you yet. Perhaps abuse.

I understand that you have needs to be met, I'm a guy too. But in all honesty, if she feels she's being 'pushed'--it won't increase your chances of getting any. Besides, even if she does agree to have sex, it probably won't be that enjoyable since it won't be what she truly wants.

Shitty situation man, I've def been there.


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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: the bizzle]
    #11205009 -

It's definitely possible - she used to be be addicted to coke and X, and quit it all over a year ago.

I just do not have good luck.  My last ex was raped while on coke in grade 8, and had a ton of baggage.  But she was so hot...

Well, I'm gonna try and get a straight answer tomorrow.

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11205016 -

pwnasaurus said:
It's definitely possible - she used to be be addicted to coke and X, and quit it all over a year ago.

I just do not have good luck.  My last ex was raped while on coke in grade 8, and had a ton of baggage.  But she was so hot...

Well, I'm gonna try and get a straight answer tomorrow.


are you wearing lipstick in your avatar?


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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: Neuron]
    #11205037 -

Sometimes I wonder if the women I've been seeing was sexually abused.  I know she was abused, sometimes she hints at it, I think she has been sexually abused.  Someone should get rid of her old man (who's really her step-dad anyway).  I'll give you 5 dolla, love you long time.


--------------------
OP is now RP!  Read about it here!


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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: Neuron]
    #11205040 -

Lol I'm assuming that was a joke, but I'll answer anyways: nope - played trombone for 7 years, and as such have massive lips (they get permanently inflamed).

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11205056 -

pwnasaurus said:
Yeah, guys she's definitely into me.  We have a great time when we hang out, with or without friends.  No drama, no bullshit, and NO SEX.  I'm gonna have a good talk with her tomorrow - and hopefully some good fucking too!




I don't know why I did not see this before. This is textbook child molestation. Lets just assume she is cause I'm pretty damn sure I'm right on this one.



This is your only chance of hooking up with her on a regular basis. That is if the only problem is shes been taken advantage of.

Ask her if she had an bad sexual experiences as a child. Like Uncle joe touched her. I almost guarantee you something like this happened. It could have happened sooner as well. If it was recent then you have a higher chance of changing her. If she says yes which she probably will(unless its too hard for her to admit) tell her you would never do anything to hurt her or against her will. You don't want to have sex for your own pleasure but for both of you to enjoy.


The healing process can take a number of years This is not going to happen over night or in a month or two. Its a very serious problem that is set in a persons mind that cannot be easily changed. You need to understand this is no longer you fucking her its about changing her life and helping her understand its ok. Ive learned much about this in a number of psychology classes and have had speakers come in and talk about it. There is no quick fix. IF you really want to be with her and she is that important to you, work through it. Getting a therapist for you and her will be the best course of action.


I have seen this so many fucking times. Good luck if you want to stick with it and once again (if she has been raped) this is not something that she can easily change, Might not even be worth it, regardless of the reason for your problem.


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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: DeathCompany]
    #11205058 -

Ahh you guys got to it before I did.


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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: DeathCompany]
    #11205064 -

DeathCompany said:
pwnasaurus said:
Yeah, guys she's definitely into me.  We have a great time when we hang out, with or without friends.  No drama, no bullshit, and NO SEX.  I'm gonna have a good talk with her tomorrow - and hopefully some good fucking too!




I don't know why I did not see this before. This is textbook child molestation. Lets just assume she is cause I'm pretty damn sure I'm right on this one.



This is your only chance of hooking up with her on a regular basis. That is if the only problem is shes been taken advantage of.

Ask her if she had an bad sexual experiences as a child. Like Uncle joe touched her. I almost guarantee you something like this happened. It could have happened sooner as well. If it was recent then you have a higher chance of changing her. If she says yes which she probably will(unless its too hard for her to admit) tell her you would never do anything to hurt her or against her will. You don't want to have sex for your own pleasure but for both of you to enjoy.


The healing process can take a number of years This is not going to happen over night or in a month or two. Its a very serious problem that is set in a persons mind that cannot be easily changed. You need to understand this is no longer you fucking her its about changing her life and helping her understand its ok. Ive learned much about this in a number of psychology classes and have had speakers come in and talk about it. There is no quick fix. IF you really want to be with her and she is that important to you, work through it. Getting a therapist for you and her will be the best course of action.


I have seen this so many fucking times. Good luck if you want to stick with it and once again (if she has been raped) this is not something that she can easily change, Might not even be worth it, regardless of the reason for your problem.


Mind explaining how this is "textbook"? Seems like a popular term to throw around these days, but it seems like it could be a number of other things as well. Maybe you're stuck in a schema?

EDIT: Whatever, it doesn't really matter. OP should ask her tomorrow anyways. I'm fucking tired, and gotta be at school for 14 hours tomorrow. Later guys.


--------------------

Edited by Neuron (10/08/09 12:46 AM)

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: Neuron]
    #11205087 -

LOl I guess I could have used another term.

Anyways I got a good 5 friends who this has happened to. My older brothers gf and most importantly my mother as well. So i know a number of people who had bad childhood experiences.They all have the same problems. Everything he has said about her thus far points towards it.:shrug: And yea they are all still fucked up. Except for my mom. But she used to be real bad. in fact one of the reasons my dad left my mom was because she would not sleep with him.:lol:

Edited by DeathCompany (10/08/09 12:49 AM)

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: Chubba]
    #11209345 -

Figured I'd update you guys on the situation, if anyone gives a shit.

So she said we could hang out tonight - we've both been pretty busy with school, and haven't had alone time really lately, so we were planning on chilling and talking about the whole issue.

I called her about 10 min ago, just finished my brutal day: class 9:30-10:30, work 10:30-4:30, lab 4:30-6:30.  I'm beat, and all I wanted to do was head over there, hang out, cuddle, talk... well she's hanging out with her roommate from last year, and is having a 'girls night' with them and a couple more chicks.

I've about had enough of this shit.  I'm all about spending time with friends - fuck I do it all the time.  But once every week or two I'd like to have some one-on-one time.  Literally just a couple hours a week.  And she won't even give me the time of day.

Time to tell her peace - it's my bud's b-day today, and to hell if I'm not getting laid when we go out tonight!

Edited by pwnasaurus (10/08/09 05:00 PM)

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11209362 -

that's the spirit! :highfive:

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. [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #11209364 -

.

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Re: Why must all women have issues? [Re: z_x_x_z]
    #11209383 -

I plan to - right after this nap.  I am devoid of energy right now.  Peace Shroomery.  Imma check this thread when I wake up :mushroom2:

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