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Anonymous #1

I never feel truely happy
    #11199523 - 10/07/09 12:04 PM (8 years, 12 days ago)

I have come to a point in my life where i feel like i can never be truly happy.  I went to see a shrink and he prescribed me SSRI's and i just threw away the script every time he gave me one.  Fuck those things, i don't wanna take them forever to feel "normal." I feel like i am an autonomous bot, i have no real feelings anymore.  School, come home and eat, go to work, come home and sometimes drink or smoke pot.  And its like that everyday.  I find it so hard to find a girl friend too.  I mean don't get me wrong i can go out to a bar and bring a girl back and get laid, but i want a girl friend.  Not some whore with skeletons in the closet i would have to deal with if i had a relationship.  I really want to quit my job at this pizza place because i don't like my co-workers. 

The only time i have found true happiness and meaning was while under the influence of LSD, and MDMA.  I just wish i could connect with other people, and myself like i can on drugs.  And i feel like the only way to be happy is with the drugs.  So i strive to be on drugs all the time.

I'm not a drug addict, i just find it hard on this planet to be happy with who i am and what i stand for.  I want to do something with my life, instead of enslaving myself into the capitalist machine.  But i have no choice, i have to work. 

Finding happiness in my life is a vicious cycle of highs and then heartbreaks.  I really want to just go into the woods with a girl the rest of my life and start a family.  I know that sounds really sketchy, but im just sick of all the bullshit that society throws in my face.  Its so depressing that im never going to amount to anything.


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OfflineSolemente
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Re: I never feel truely happy [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11199562 - 10/07/09 12:09 PM (8 years, 12 days ago)

Things will get better.


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Invisiblememes
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Re: I never feel truely happy [Re: Solemente]
    #11199587 - 10/07/09 12:15 PM (8 years, 12 days ago)

Stop looking for the "big picture" to make you happy.  You need to develope the ability to find true happiness in the smallest of things -- since there is never a shortage of those in your everyday life.

For example, yesterday I was having a mediocre afternoon until i walked to class and had three very happy things happen on the way:
-First of all, I noticed a GREAT cloud/sunset layout that just looked beeeeautiful!
-Second, I passed a perfectly proportioned tree
-Third, I saw two squirrels playing with a giant nut of some sort, throwing it back & forth and stealing it from each other.

It made my day!  They were so fun & cute!


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OfflineSmitington
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Re: I never feel truely happy [Re: memes]
    #11199664 - 10/07/09 12:30 PM (8 years, 12 days ago)

You gotta do what makes you happy too.  If you don't like where u work and your life right now, maybe it's cus you need to do something different with your life.  Maybe you should go to school, it will be hard to go and work at the same time, but when ur done you can atleast work at a place that challenges you that you enjoy, plus pays the bills and then some.  I used to feel kind of like you, I think I just realized that I'm never gonna find "the" job, I just gotta find something that I will semi enjoy instead of hate with a passion, we all need to work, then follow your dreams outside of work, do what really makes you happy after work or on the weekends, you need a good paying job to do some of that stuff, like travelling, visiting friends and family, buying drugs, u get the picture.


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InvisibleChronic7
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Re: I never feel truely happy [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11200652 - 10/07/09 03:20 PM (8 years, 12 days ago)

Happiness is what you are

Happiness does not exist anywhere in the world

You are happy on LSD & MDMA because you are no longer thinking about deriving happiness from the world, it is just coming from inside you


:peace:


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OfflinementalIMAGE
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Re: I never feel truely happy [Re: Chronic7]
    #11201132 - 10/07/09 04:49 PM (8 years, 12 days ago)

Start doing more shit.  How about instead of getting fucked up RIGHT after you get off work, go out for a bike ride or a long walk with some headphones.  Sit under a tree and watch the sunset.  Watch the squirrels and birds.

I've found during the multiple times of being jobless, the only real way to stay happy is to do something.  Stop thinking about being happy, and just.. be happy!  You're alive, so show it!


--------------------

We are always acting on what has just finished happening. It happened at least 1/30th of a second ago. We think we're in the present, but we aren't. The present we know is only a movie of the past.
Ken Kesey


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OfflinelillFish
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Re: I never feel truely happy [Re: mentalIMAGE]
    #11215300 - 10/09/09 03:05 PM (8 years, 10 days ago)

what really picks me up & takes my mind off of stress and life in general are my hobbies. I know exactly where you're coming from when you talk about the pressure of society... yes, It sucks.  I accept the fact that I will have to work and deal with idiot co-workers if I want to have food in the fridge, a roof over my head and a nice dependable car. 

like right now I'm sitting here watching last night's hockey game that i missed due to work. I'm thinking about all the stuff I want to grow now that I have my own house, like tomatoes, herbs, etc.
I'm not thinking about stressful stuff. Don't ever give up on yourself, you are still young. I went through a big changing when I was going through my 20-23rd years, woke up to a bunch of stuff. Are you going to go to back to school? Good luck!

I'd also like to add that being unhappy is just a simple, simple veil ... just a state of mind and it can change so easily.... just change the way you think, that's it. :smile:


Edited by lillFish (10/09/09 03:07 PM)


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InvisibleChronic7
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Re: I never feel truely happy [Re: mentalIMAGE]
    #11215323 - 10/09/09 03:08 PM (8 years, 10 days ago)

Quote:

mentalIMAGE said:
Start doing more shit.




This is to ignore the root problem of positing happiness at the end of 'doing' something

In this way happiness will never be attainable

:peace:


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Anonymous #2

Re: I never feel truly happy [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11216756 - 10/09/09 07:30 PM (8 years, 10 days ago)

I understand exactly how you feel. I went to a therapist and they kept putting me on meds, but I never took them. Its not like my life is terrible, I just feel like I can never be truly happy. I just want to escape. I know what you mean about wanting to live in the woods. I was just surprised how much your post related to how I am feeling. Sorry though, no advice on what to do about it.


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OfflinePowerTrip
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Re: I never feel truely happy [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #11216890 - 10/09/09 07:53 PM (8 years, 10 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I have come to a point in my life where i feel like i can never be truly happy.

I want to do something with my life, instead of enslaving myself into the capitalist machine.  But i have no choice, i have to work. 





There are always choices.  The ones that bring great rewards and happiness almost always entail some sacrifice.  If you could do anything right now, what would it be?  How could you do it right now?  What would you have to give up?

I went through a similar depressed period where my life felt meaningless.  To me, it was meaningless.  I'm giving up my job and perfectly stable life to pursue my dreams.  An easy decision when I really looked at the big picture.  Keep doing something I hate because it is easy and I'm comfortable, or give up my life of comfort in pursuit of my dreams.

Anyone can go to college.  You don't need any money, the loans are there.  Under the new laws the federal student loans only have to be repaid at a rate of 15% of your income post graduation, and they disappear after 40 years if you go to school for something that doesn't make any money.

Happiness in life comes from having the balls to go after what you want.  The same could be said of women.

On the subject of women: they won't bring you happiness.  Not permanently anyway.  Believing they will is going to set you up for disappointment down the road, and it sounds like that may have played some part in landing you in your current mindset.

Nothing against relationships, they are great.  I feel it is a sad outlook when you sum your entire life up to simply existing with a woman and children though.

Go change the world.


--------------------
I spit reality, instead of what you usually learn
and I refuse to be concerned with condescending advice
cause I'm the only motherfucker that can change my life


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Offlinetempingasashaman
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Re: I never feel truely happy [Re: memes]
    #11217075 - 10/09/09 08:38 PM (8 years, 9 days ago)

Quote:

meams said:
Stop looking for the "big picture" to make you happy.  You need to develope the ability to find true happiness in the smallest of things -- since there is never a shortage of those in your everyday life.

For example, yesterday I was having a mediocre afternoon until i walked to class and had three very happy things happen on the way:
-First of all, I noticed a GREAT cloud/sunset layout that just looked beeeeautiful!
-Second, I passed a perfectly proportioned tree
-Third, I saw two squirrels playing with a giant nut of some sort, throwing it back & forth and stealing it from each other.

It made my day!  They were so fun & cute!


Yeah man, this is an awesome post. Stop looking for things outside of yourself to make you happy, it's all internal.


--------------------
the greatest use of life is to spend it on something that will outlast it


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Invisibleshowme
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Re: I never feel truely happy [Re: tempingasashaman]
    #11218759 - 10/10/09 02:54 AM (8 years, 9 days ago)

I want to just go into the woods with you. You and me, we can live out the rest of our lives there, happy as can be, and create our own world. We can dabble in anything and everything. We can start a family together.

I want to. Everything you said just seems so familiar.

It don't think it will happen, though.


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Imagination is the organ of meaning.


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