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OfflineMaverick
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This girl is fucking my life up. I need to leave this.
    #11190854 - 10/06/09 12:44 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

I'll start off by explaining yesterday and the day before.  The same girl as always, the girl I've been seeing for the past 6 months, we had sex twice in a day, one time was fine, the second we tried watching porn because we wanted to try something new (seeing that most of our problems have come from sexual issues, and one being that I look at porn, she was 'trying' to become more comfortable.)
Didn't work out, she got mad because I accidentally hit the wrong hole.  Sounds funny but seriously all hell broke loose and it was a miserable moment.  Okay, I've never had someone who can get a little hurt during sex and be like "oh fuck it, I'm done." and get up and leave the room until I met this girl.  Accidents happen, I don't get up and be like "god damnit" if I bend my dick on accident and it hurts like a fucking bitch.
We talked it out last night, and discussed things, and supposedly things were well, were better.  We did a lot of talking, two hours that were supposed to resolve things that were an issue.

Today I get there to help clean up her apartment she's moving out of and the first thing that happens is the argument over me looking at porn comes up, and all her insecurities come out again.  And apparently I'm at fault for them, apparently because I don't tell her or didn't try to tell her that she was as beautiful or more beautiful than the pornstars on the porno we watched, and apparently I think she's ugly, and am making her feel ugly because I looked at porn.
I'm tired of having insecurities shoved onto me, and I'm tired of being lead to believe that they are my fault, that I'm the cause to our relationship issues, when really as I step back I see that it's a lot more her than me, however I keep lying to myself and her and I keep blaming myself, I keep tearing myself down and dragging my own feelings through the dirt to try to make her feel better but because she had to 'tell me' it means nothing.

I think I need to leave Reno or something, I need to get away from this, I don't know why I find it so difficult to be like "fuck off" and walk out, instead I let myself get hurt.
It sucks because when I think about it, I am a little clueless to common sense things, I'm intelligent but I reask things to assure myself of what's going on so I don't make mistakes, she gets pissed because they're obvious questions, well to most people, but I'm assuring myself that's what needs to be done to avoid getting bitched out for doing something wrong.  Either way it feels like I'm gonna get bitched out...

She was screaming at a way at me "why don't you make me feel beautiful?!" like Screaming it at me with all her hatred.  I tell her she's beautiful all the time, but apparently not at the times she 'needs' to be told, so when I tell her it, it doesn't seem to really matter...

The road is on my mind, all I can think of is how wonderful it will be to be seeing the green trees rolling past me and the clouds above and the changing of the colors as the weeks progress.  I want to go to my gathering, I want things to be how they were before this.  I've Never had a relationship this difficult.  I made a serious mistake dating a girl who has two kids, because with two kids comes enough insecurities for three people all in one girl.
I'm a very passive person, so I don't respond well to anger, or to being put on the spot, I tend to clam up and can't find the words to say.  Apparently I don't care enough or I'd have something to say, according to her, when inside I'm feeling like everything is coming apart.  It's very frustrating being told that I need to be considerate of her, when there is no return consideration, even when I don't bring it up.  She considers me in small ways and stuff, but when it comes to tearing into me about making her insecure, she is more than happy to tell me how worthless I am.  The other day after the mistake in bed she told me she never wanted to 'fuck me again.'  Later that night things were supposedly resolved, today they again fell apart.  I'm more than glad never to be with this girl again, I just want my steam vac back so I can return it and not get charged $400 by u-haul.

I want to see the coast, to see nice people, people who appreciate my opinion and aren't self-centered.  This is becoming ridiculous.


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OfflineRocker232
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Registered: 10/17/08
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Re: This girl is fucking my life up. I need to leave this. [Re: Maverick]
    #11190867 - 10/06/09 12:46 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

Man I'm going to tell you, fuck porn. I have been trying to stop watching porn for the past 5 months, its impossible. I've been thinking about it and it really is "dirty". I don't know, maybe its my move towards a more spiritual lifestyle, but the stuff is poison. I'm beyond addicted to it, it sucks. You will appreciate sex more without it.


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With Allure I Look to the Sky With Awakened Eyes


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Invisibleelementswrath
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Re: This girl is fucking my life up. I need to leave this. [Re: Maverick]
    #11190876 - 10/06/09 12:48 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

women.
you can't live with them and you can't live without them.
that's why i turn to girlfriends only.
no serious shit.


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Offlinelazyfingers
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Re: This girl is fucking my life up. I need to leave this. [Re: elementswrath]
    #11190914 - 10/06/09 12:55 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

She's insecure, and porn is good, unless it is more like rape or animal abuse.

She sounds like a total loss, and kids, no way.


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OfflineFrost
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Re: This girl is fucking my life up. I need to leave this. [Re: lazyfingers]
    #11190933 - 10/06/09 12:59 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

So many girl problems on this message board, more than I've ever seen.


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“I have lived on the lip of insanity, wanting to know reasons, knocking on a door. It opens.
I've been knocking from the inside.” - Rumi

“The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of starstuff.” - Carl Sagan


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OfflineSolemente
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Re: This girl is fucking my life up. I need to leave this. [Re: lazyfingers]
    #11190944 - 10/06/09 01:01 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

I only read the first paragraph but it very clear that you need to find a new girl.


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Offlinepmb
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Re: This girl is fucking my life up. I need to leave this. [Re: Solemente]
    #11190995 - 10/06/09 01:09 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

Girls are always scheming and causing problems. They always gotta have conflict.


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Don't smell the flowers, They're an evil drug to make you lose your mind


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InvisiblePenguarky Tunguin
f n o r d
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Re: This girl is fucking my life up. I need to leave this. [Re: pmb]
    #11191143 - 10/06/09 01:48 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

true


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Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.


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OfflineMaverick
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Re: This girl is fucking my life up. I need to leave this. [Re: Penguarky Tunguin]
    #11191173 - 10/06/09 01:56 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

It just hurts you know, I wanted it to work, I tried and worked so hard, but because I'm supposedly inconsiderate, I keep making mistakes like not knowing how to answer things when she says things that seem awkward to me.  She doesn't really tell me what's on her mind and expects me to know and make her feel better, to reduce her insecurities because I made them.  I didn't truly make them, I escalated them, but they existed far longer than I've been around in her life.  She has stretch marks she's ashamed of, I don't have a problem with them (she's had two kids, it happens), she's not a fucking model but she's not ugly by any means, to me she's gorgeous, so it pisses me off that I have to reassure her exactly when she wants to be reassured.  Do the times I tell her that she's beautiful while we're lying next to each other looking into each others eyes mean nothing?  Is it only about this fucking porn situation?  What the fuck.


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InvisibleRobMarley420
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Re: This girl is fucking my life up. I need to leave this. [Re: Maverick]
    #11192515 - 10/06/09 11:34 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

Sounds like a crazy bitch to me....

You might be better off without her. Find a chick that likes to watch porn. :doggystyle:


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OfflineCannabischarlie
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Registered: 11/28/05
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Re: This girl is fucking my life up. I need to leave this. [Re: Maverick]
    #11192528 - 10/06/09 11:37 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

can you space this out?

its very long and i want to be able to take in what you are saying but you fail to realize that on a screen vs a piece of paper its hard to read and people wont take in what you are saying.

i more or less cant read the whole thing but it seems that you are just too comfortable with her and she is so insecure, and self centered, and realizes that you are just going to keep coming back, keep saying "yes dear".

maybe you ARE looking at porn because you just want a way out, or want to get away from whatever vanilla sex you are having or are percieved as having.

she wants the girlfriend/boyfriend thing and wants to play games. wants you to be as miserable as she is or thinks she is.

start going out and trying to find someone else. if you do, its sort of like being in a job that you hate, that you need but are looking for something better. then just jump ship like you would said job. always worked for me in the job situation and you deserve to be happy :shrug:


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This section of the signature line has been intentionally left blank.

  we could all use a little more sunshine.

:shrug: yeah, she's funny and somewhat interesting.  not a beauty queen, but not bad lookin.  i'd feel quite honored to fuck janine garofalo.
-tiny_rabid_birds


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Offlinecitricacidx
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Re: This girl is fucking my life up. I need to leave this. [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #11192534 - 10/06/09 11:39 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

She seems to be the insecure-iest. best thing to do is hit it and quit it.


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: This girl is fucking my life up. I need to leave this. [Re: Maverick]
    #11192535 - 10/06/09 11:39 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

Wow, you definitely need to dump her.  That girl doesn't sound very loving at all.  In fact she sounds like a hateful, expectant, entitled bitch. 

Sorry dude.  But do yourself a favor...you don't deserve that negativity she is pushing on you. 

As for the "in the wrong hole" sex thing, HOLY SHIT, I would have just giggled.  Don't ever have sex with anyone who can't lighten up about sex!


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OfflineCannabischarlie
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Re: This girl is fucking my life up. I need to leave this. [Re: Maverick]
    #11192558 - 10/06/09 11:46 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

Quote:

DRTMaverick said:
It just hurts you know, I wanted it to work, I tried and worked so hard, but because I'm supposedly inconsiderate, I keep making mistakes like not knowing how to answer things when she says things that seem awkward to me.





she wants you to feel awkward, and shes just into too much drama, and you dont need to be sucked into it. no matter what you do you are just trying to fix an old car that costs more than its worth instead of just upgrading or getting a car that may cost more now but wont leave you pissed off ALL THE TIME.

move on, just do whatever works for you as far as meeting women, and dont try to take her feelings into consideration because she doesnt really care about yours. if she does, you will probably find as you move on she will either try to get you back in her life, or not, either way, if she says anything just say that you feel that you make her miserable and theres other fish in the sea.

if she calls you selfish, she is calling the kettle black


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This section of the signature line has been intentionally left blank.

  we could all use a little more sunshine.

:shrug: yeah, she's funny and somewhat interesting.  not a beauty queen, but not bad lookin.  i'd feel quite honored to fuck janine garofalo.
-tiny_rabid_birds


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InvisibleFoURtWeNTy420
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Re: This girl is fucking my life up. I need to leave this. [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #11192563 - 10/06/09 11:47 AM (8 years, 12 days ago)

thanks cannabis charlies,

hey i think u should stop looking at porn, ohman i said it....maybe u are insecure and watch porn...and she doesnt want to be with somebody who in her view 'defaces u and hers sexuality, becuase she wants to be intimate with u and only u and also feeel that same way back. im sure she probably feels u are being intimate with the porn u a re watching.


which i bet she thinks ur fucking weird as shit for watching porn so inceessiantly to where u are unableto be turned on by a real humanbeing.'


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I support drug testing, which drug should i test today?


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OfflineCannabischarlie
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Re: This girl is fucking my life up. I need to leave this. [Re: FoURtWeNTy420]
    #11193762 - 10/06/09 03:23 PM (8 years, 12 days ago)

i was kind of thinking that too, i couldnt tell whether he is bored by her and is watching porn as an alternative or if he just likes porn a lot, but on the same token, if he is watching a bunch of porn and it bothers her, why doesnt he just do it with her?

or tell her that he just needs some more excitement?

has it become boring? if so, find other things to do besides sex. i dont think thats too hard? :shrug:


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This section of the signature line has been intentionally left blank.

  we could all use a little more sunshine.

:shrug: yeah, she's funny and somewhat interesting.  not a beauty queen, but not bad lookin.  i'd feel quite honored to fuck janine garofalo.
-tiny_rabid_birds


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
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Re: This girl is fucking my life up. I need to leave this. [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #11193843 - 10/06/09 03:35 PM (8 years, 12 days ago)

the porn isnt the issue, it's her self esteem, he could never watch a porn
again and I'll guarantee there's going to be an issue of him looking at
some girl or some girl looking at him or any number of other things

it's her insecurities that are the issue


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OfflineRadar
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Re: This girl is fucking my life up. I need to leave this. [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #11193862 - 10/06/09 03:37 PM (8 years, 12 days ago)

There's NOTHING  wrong with looking at porn , just like there's nothing wrong with taking drugs  - as long as the activity doesn't become an obsession.  If its enjoyable continue to do  it. Just like anything else.

If she doesn't find it enjoyable do not watch it around her or with her.

HOWEVER

You need to break up with her. NOW .  TOO much stress and drama.  Unless you like that - some people do.  Sounds like she does.

Can you imagine being married to her??? Forever??? Its a loooong life for that type of shit. LOOOONG. And to quote John Gardner "choices exclude".  If you choose to be with her you are choosing not to be with all the other cool chill chicks out there.


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We have not even to risk the adventure alone, for the heroes of all time have gone before us — the labyrinth is thoroughly known. We have only to follow the thread of the hero path, and where we had thought to find an abomination, we shall find a god; where we had thought to slay another, we shall slay ourselves; where we had thought to travel outward, we shall come to the center of our own existence. And where we had thought to be alone, we shall be with all the world.


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OfflineCannabischarlie
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Re: This girl is fucking my life up. I need to leave this. [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #11193902 - 10/06/09 03:44 PM (8 years, 12 days ago)

Quote:

Prisoner#1 said:
the porn isnt the issue, it's her self esteem, he could never watch a porn
again and I'll guarantee there's going to be an issue of him looking at
some girl or some girl looking at him or any number of other things

it's her insecurities that are the issue





i know that much, but is there some other reason that he watches it, could it be the insecurities she has makes him run into the arms of porn, which at the very least means hes not cheating on her, etc, its just videos after all.

i think he should find someone else and really just leave her with her insecurities.


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This section of the signature line has been intentionally left blank.

  we could all use a little more sunshine.

:shrug: yeah, she's funny and somewhat interesting.  not a beauty queen, but not bad lookin.  i'd feel quite honored to fuck janine garofalo.
-tiny_rabid_birds


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Offline2Cents
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Re: This girl is fucking my life up. I need to leave this. [Re: Cannabischarlie]
    #11193932 - 10/06/09 03:48 PM (8 years, 12 days ago)

all my life I have been in dysfunctional relationships and dude it suuuuuucks! you have to get the fuck away from that chick. best of luck.


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Long live the Shroomery!!!


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