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OfflineAlmond Flour
...get off my lawn!
Male

Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 2 years, 29 days
......HPV nigga
    #11179157 - 10/04/09 10:40 AM (8 years, 19 days ago)

So I told my new girlfriend who has been pressing me for sex, that i may have HPV. The conversation included the following vocabulary

-Cock
-warts
-cancer
-cervical
-dying
-old lady
-incurable
-virus
-trial vaccine



..........think she will call back??? Please keep in mind that she was a virgin too :shrug:


--------------------
Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:


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InvisibleSwyfty Swyf
Shrugsy Shrugs


Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 7,081
Loc: North Alabama
Re: ......HPV nigga [Re: Almond Flour]
    #11179175 - 10/04/09 10:43 AM (8 years, 19 days ago)

Jesus no.

You're a filthy hippie.

That was honest of you for telling her though.

I would have fucked her and told her I was wearing a french tickler.  :borfase:


--------------------
If you build it they will shrug.
:shrug:


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Offlinefeifen

Registered: 10/18/08
Posts: 7,040
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: ......HPV nigga [Re: Almond Flour]
    #11179191 - 10/04/09 10:49 AM (8 years, 19 days ago)

Ever heard of getting tested? It's pretty helpful.


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OfflineGumbyM
Fishnologist
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 06/13/01
Posts: 26,647
Loc: BRICK CITY!
Last seen: 1 month, 17 days
Re: ......HPV nigga [Re: Swyfty Swyf]
    #11179199 - 10/04/09 10:51 AM (8 years, 19 days ago)

Why don't you go get tested? If you do have it ask them what strain you have so you can know if it's the kind that causes cancer, makes girls infertile, causes warts, or does absolutely nothing.

I found out recently that the married chick has HPV. Not just HPV, but the strain that causes girls to get cervical cancer. That extinguished the tiny bit of desire I still had to fuck her.


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OfflineAlmond Flour
...get off my lawn!
Male

Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 2 years, 29 days
Re: ......HPV nigga [Re: Swyfty Swyf]
    #11179203 - 10/04/09 10:52 AM (8 years, 19 days ago)

And before your minds conjure up images of my cock covered in warts......when i was 16 after I lost my virginity to this girl (who so happened to let a 22 yr old fuck her when she was 14 :facepalm:), I noticed extremely small red bumps on my cock a few months later. I went to an STD specialist, and she said she didnt know what they were. She thought maybe it was a small rash from jacking off or something. She left it alone and said if they got bigger, to come see her.

While at my regular doctor for a check up, I decided to ask again being the hypochondriac i am. He said it was HPV and decided to spray the area of my cock with liquid nitrogen! (He also called in a hot nurse who was a medical student to observe :lol:)

My cock is fine, I have nothing on it, but apparently I may have the virus.

and as for getting tested.....its almost impossible to test for it in males. Its easy for girls cause they just have to have a pap smear or whatever it is.


--------------------
Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:


Edited by Almond Flour (10/04/09 10:55 AM)


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OfflineNastyDHL
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/04/08
Posts: 3,584
Loc: New England
Last seen: 28 days, 8 hours
Re: ......HPV nigga [Re: Almond Flour]
    #11179208 - 10/04/09 10:53 AM (8 years, 19 days ago)

yeah dude, get tested

so what are you gonna do from here?


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Offlinefeifen

Registered: 10/18/08
Posts: 7,040
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: ......HPV nigga [Re: Almond Flour]
    #11179214 - 10/04/09 10:55 AM (8 years, 19 days ago)

How about you get tested and THEN come back to tell us.

It's good to know...


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OfflineAlmond Flour
...get off my lawn!
Male

Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 2 years, 29 days
Re: ......HPV nigga [Re: feifen]
    #11179218 - 10/04/09 10:55 AM (8 years, 19 days ago)

Quote:

feifen said:
How about you get tested and THEN come back to tell us.

It's good to know...



Once again, its almost impossible to test for in males, unless your cock shows signs of warts or rash


--------------------
Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:


Edited by Almond Flour (10/04/09 10:56 AM)


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OfflineI AM SWIM
doin' thangs
 User Gallery


Registered: 12/24/08
Posts: 9,695
Loc: Feels Changsta Man
Last seen: 5 years, 4 months
Re: ......HPV nigga [Re: Almond Flour]
    #11179224 - 10/04/09 10:57 AM (8 years, 19 days ago)

Man that sucks :frown:

Why can't they test for it in males?


--------------------


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OfflineSayWhat
Native Shaman
Male

Registered: 07/03/09
Posts: 140
Loc: Cerebral desolate abyss
Last seen: 7 years, 18 days
Re: ......HPV nigga [Re: Almond Flour]
    #11179231 - 10/04/09 10:58 AM (8 years, 19 days ago)

Your body can fight off hpv on its own.

It only takes a year or two. You are probably fine.


--------------------
Look at all the happy creatures dancing  on the lawn.

Sending me free spores is welcomed and encouraged.


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OfflineI AM SWIM
doin' thangs
 User Gallery


Registered: 12/24/08
Posts: 9,695
Loc: Feels Changsta Man
Last seen: 5 years, 4 months
Re: ......HPV nigga [Re: I AM SWIM]
    #11179252 - 10/04/09 11:03 AM (8 years, 19 days ago)

maybe ayahuasca may help :shrug:


--------------------


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Invisiblememes
Blessed


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,673
Loc: In a Tree
Re: ......HPV nigga [Re: SayWhat]
    #11179254 - 10/04/09 11:03 AM (8 years, 19 days ago)

Tea - check out "mulluscum".  It's a bacterial infection you (can) get from sex that shows up as small red bumps that disappear once they're treated (in your case, being frozen off).

I got it a while back cuz of some chick I fucked on a rooftop, and I had to scrub my pelvic region OBSCENELY hard in order to pop/get rid of them.

Maybe that's what you have - instead of HPV :shrug:


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OfflineAlmond Flour
...get off my lawn!
Male

Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 2 years, 29 days
Re: ......HPV nigga [Re: SayWhat]
    #11179256 - 10/04/09 11:03 AM (8 years, 19 days ago)

Quote:

SayWhat said:
Your body can fight off hpv on its own.

It only takes a year or two. You are probably fine.





I know im fine.....its the females im worried about


--------------------
Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:


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OfflineAlmond Flour
...get off my lawn!
Male

Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 2 years, 29 days
Re: ......HPV nigga [Re: I AM SWIM]
    #11179265 - 10/04/09 11:04 AM (8 years, 19 days ago)

Quote:

I AM SWIM said:
maybe ayahuasca may help :shrug:





a powerful mindbending psychedelic curing my HPV?

.........TO THE AMAZON  :vineclimb:


--------------------
Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:


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InvisibleSwyfty Swyf
Shrugsy Shrugs


Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 7,081
Loc: North Alabama
Re: ......HPV nigga [Re: Almond Flour]
    #11179283 - 10/04/09 11:08 AM (8 years, 19 days ago)

Haha, it's Fireball Mario!


--------------------
If you build it they will shrug.
:shrug:


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Invisibledr_gonz

Registered: 08/18/03
Posts: 44,645
Re: ......HPV nigga [Re: Almond Flour]
    #11179285 - 10/04/09 11:08 AM (8 years, 19 days ago)

It's most likely out of your system completely now


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OfflineAlmond Flour
...get off my lawn!
Male

Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 2 years, 29 days
Re: ......HPV nigga [Re: dr_gonz]
    #11179300 - 10/04/09 11:11 AM (8 years, 19 days ago)

Guys I know all this. Its part of the reason im posting this in the Pub and not the anonymous forum :lol:

Like I said, the point of the thread is to ask if she will call me back :sad: She was really cool. God this is awkward

......Im gonna make sure I scare the shit out of my kids one day with scare tactics and an exaggeration of STDS that would make you think sex is playing Russian roulette with 4 bullets in the chamber :onfire:


--------------------
Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:


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Invisiblememes
Blessed


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,673
Loc: In a Tree
Re: ......HPV nigga [Re: Almond Flour]
    #11179306 - 10/04/09 11:12 AM (8 years, 19 days ago)

You don't want to date a virgin anyways - they're fucking crazy.


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OfflineAlmond Flour
...get off my lawn!
Male

Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 2 years, 29 days
Re: ......HPV nigga [Re: memes]
    #11179319 - 10/04/09 11:14 AM (8 years, 19 days ago)

Im gonna go listen to Elliot smith  :goodmorning:


--------------------
Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church" :morningtoke:


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Offlinefeifen

Registered: 10/18/08
Posts: 7,040
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: ......HPV nigga [Re: Almond Flour]
    #11179326 - 10/04/09 11:16 AM (8 years, 19 days ago)

You probably don't want to date a virgin anyways.

But yeah, who knows if she will.

Girls are nuts


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