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 shroommachine
Stranger
 
Registered: 01/03/05
Posts: 1,202
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
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 Thinking about killing mysel 
#10917638 - 08/23/09 02:32 AM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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I've never really entertained the thought of suicide before, but everything in my life just fell apart in 1 really bad night. There is nothing in my future that is going to be anything less than awful.
If shit doesn't start to look up in the next few days, I think I'm just gonna escape the bullshit for good. I can't see a downside to killing myself, my family is already as upset as they can be, I'm facing jail time, maybe serious prison time, followed by a record with felonies. I'm on like family induced house arrest, and there isn't a damn thing I can do to improve my situation.
I'm not a suicidal type, I always found people who attempt suicide to be stupid. I don't understand how people can fail at something which is fairly simple, they only fail because they never intended to succeed.
It seems like I can either go on, be fucking miserable, be a burden to the people who used to care about me, or I can just get away from it all.
And I don't think it's wrong for me to do, It's my life, I have the freedom to end it as I see fit. I know it will upset my family, but they won't be much more upset than they already are, and in the end it will save them a lot of grief, worry, and money.
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And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk ...four times already this year and I used to be over by the window and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and its not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire.
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krypto2000
Unknown
Registered: 12/05/06
Posts: 11,579
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Why not got backpacking across the country?
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duster
psychadelicgardener
Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 1,190
Loc: ARIZONA,TRANSLVANIAA,ETC....
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
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Unfortunately the truth of ones own mortality as well as those around them always seem so far fetched. The second you are discovered dead it would tear apart all those that do care about you. It is a selfish act as in they would never know you would be willing to take it that far, even if you came close probaly wouldnt think about it but once you did. thats a whole new ball game beyond any comprehension. Imagine one of those family members you hate right now being dead in a car wreck tonight. Waking up with them dead and realizing what you haveto do to prepare their funeral, what to do with their property etc. You would do anything in the world to reverse time.
Stick through the miserable shit and move on. OR just kill yourself and put everyone in great pain in which in return they would have done anything to save you from killing yourself inorder to not endure the pain of you leaving their existence. It's pretty obvious.
Don't kill yourself.
pz.
oh and i think this is the smartest thing I Ever said whilst drunk. 
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Anonymous #1
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go ahead!
don't worry minds, it's very well obvious you're distressing for help
and if you where really going to kill yourself you wouldn't bother to tell thousands of people about it.
if you're going to waste the one life you may ever have that is you're choice but don't cry about it expecting some pity party from me.
think very well and hard about you're life, think about on how you're going to make it better, not taking the pussy's way out.
i have heard this B.S from over 100 people in my life and only about 20 of them did it.
are you looking for advice? cause if you are we can give you some.
but if you're just attracting attention you might as well do it.
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SprewellSleeve
Registered: 03/15/09
Posts: 6,321
Loc: USA
Last seen: 18 hours, 46 minutes
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Re: Thinking about killing mysel [Re: Anonymous #1]
#10917763 - 08/23/09 03:04 AM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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Don't do it, man.The people who care for you could get depressed and be badly effected, even if they don't get effected as you, you know the pain it would bring.It only happened yesterday or whenever.Just calm down.Living gives a chance to be happy again.No matter how long it takes, the past will be the past.Just try.If you're gonna die one day anyway, why do it this way?Devote your life to doing good things for other people whether in jail or not if it's so bad.Make use of your LIFE.
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Edited by SprewellSleeve (08/23/09 03:06 AM)
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krypto2000
Unknown
Registered: 12/05/06
Posts: 11,579
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Re: Thinking about killing mysel [Re: Anonymous #1]
#10917846 - 08/23/09 03:23 AM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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1 out of 5 odds seems pretty safe to me, lets egg him on 
Seriously though, if you've literally got nothing to live for in your current life, your family is worth abandoning and you're facing jail time why not say fuck it and go backpacking. You have no idea what you might discover, and all you need is... well, nothing, not even a backpack really. Hitch hike around, get odd jobs and/or beg for w/e little necessities you might need. You can always kill yourself later, but it's worth a shot. Death will always wait.
Edited by krypto2000 (08/23/09 03:23 AM)
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Thinking about killing mysel [Re: krypto2000]
#10917916 - 08/23/09 03:41 AM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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i am not egging him, i am just tired of all this "i am going to kill my self" pitch. i have heard it so much i don't even care anymore.
it gets soo old.
i don't want him to do it really, but forcing awkward situations is a really low way to go.
really, dude there is good things in life, you just got to find them.
so go backpacking.
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 Mufungo
Coming at ya
Registered: 04/03/07
Posts: 2,743
Loc: Knowhere
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If you'd like things to be different, if you'd like things to be better, then there are lots of ways to make that change.
Is it going to be easy? Probably not. But will it be worth it? There's only one way to find out.
If you'd like ideas on how to turn your life around and make it better, why not ask everyone?
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420_psychonaut
altered states
Registered: 08/21/09
Posts: 535
Loc: San antonio TX
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months
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Re: Thinking about killing mysel [Re: Mufungo]
#10917990 - 08/23/09 04:13 AM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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do u have any pets?dogs?my dog cured my depression best thing i ever did.
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     im what u might call a "pothead"  
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Triptonic
Registered: 04/23/08
Posts: 3,707
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Quote:
shroommachine said:
I've never really entertained the thought of suicide before, but everything in my life just fell apart in 1 really bad night. There is nothing in my future that is going to be anything less than awful.
If shit doesn't start to look up in the next few days, I think I'm just gonna escape the bullshit for good. I can't see a downside to killing myself, my family is already as upset as they can be, I'm facing jail time, maybe serious prison time, followed by a record with felonies. I'm on like family induced house arrest, and there isn't a damn thing I can do to improve my situation.
I'm not a suicidal type, I always found people who attempt suicide to be stupid. I don't understand how people can fail at something which is fairly simple, they only fail because they never intended to succeed.
It seems like I can either go on, be fucking miserable, be a burden to the people who used to care about me, or I can just get away from it all.
And I don't think it's wrong for me to do, It's my life, I have the freedom to end it as I see fit. I know it will upset my family, but they won't be much more upset than they already are, and in the end it will save them a lot of grief, worry, and money.
Maybe you should talk to a counselor dude. I have been in some pretty low parts of my life before where it seemed like my life wouldn't get any better but trust me your life will get better man. Don't put any thoughts in your head like that. More people care about you than you think.  me if you need to. I'm good at listening man. Just don't even think about suicide think about how you can make things better. Sorry I'm rambling cuz I'm fucked up on Opiates. But seriously me before doing anything stupid. I will listen to you dude!!!! My buddy committed suicide and I only wish he woulda talked to me before he did. I probably could have helped him out.
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
420_psychonaut said:
do u have any pets?dogs?my dog cured my depression best thing i ever did.
actually yeah, and dogs give you this kind of love that is true.
they don't care much about who you are, boring,stupid,ugly or what ever, as long as you don't hurt them and take care of them they will always love you.
i feel like cuddling my dog now.
my dog helps me through the worst.
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Triptonic
Registered: 04/23/08
Posts: 3,707
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Re: Thinking about killing mysel [Re: Anonymous #1]
#10918031 - 08/23/09 04:28 AM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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^^^^^^^^^^^^solid adivice right there.
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ManianFH
living in perverty
Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 14,997
Last seen: 8 hours, 23 minutes
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Re: Thinking about killing mysel [Re: Triptonic]
#10918335 - 08/23/09 07:35 AM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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first off, maybe you should take advantage of the suicide hotline that whiskeyclone has posted at the top of this forum. They might have some helpful advice that can help you see things from a more productive (to yourself) perspective.
1-800-273-8255
Suicide is a scary thought. I think in the end, regardless of the decisions you've made that have gotten you in your current situation, you always have the ability to begin making better decisions for your life. Even though the next 5 years of your life may be difficult as a result of your recent problems, or however long, you can use that time to work hard and make sure the rest of your life is enjoyable. Killing yourself eliminates this possibility, which is why it seems counter productive... Feeling good, feels much better than feeling nothing, any time, anywhere.
I think you should seriously consider talking with someone who can listen to your situation and help give you some insightful advice or ideas on how to approach it in a way that will begin moving your life forward. Make that call man.
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notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "
ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
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shroommachine
Stranger
Registered: 01/03/05
Posts: 1,202
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
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Re: Thinking about killing mysel [Re: ManianFH]
#10920609 - 08/23/09 03:18 PM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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I have a pet kitten, but everytime he comes to play or just lay down, I get even more depressed. As I'm in school to be a teacher, a felony conviction will mean I have wasted the last 3 years of my life, and there is no positive outlook after that.
I simply refuse to live as a burden to the people I care about.
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And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk ...four times already this year and I used to be over by the window and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and its not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire.
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shadyy
aHhahhHA
Registered: 09/08/08
Posts: 21,330
Loc: winchestertonfieldville i...
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wasn't this posted in anonymous ?
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ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13
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Triptonic
Registered: 04/23/08
Posts: 3,707
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Quote:
shroommachine said:
I have a pet kitten, but everytime he comes to play or just lay down, I get even more depressed. As I'm in school to be a teacher, a felony conviction will mean I have wasted the last 3 years of my life, and there is no positive outlook after that.
I simply refuse to live as a burden to the people I care about.
Get another degree.
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Anonymous #1
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Quote:
shroommachine said:
I have a pet kitten, but everytime he comes to play or just lay down, I get even more depressed. As I'm in school to be a teacher, a felony conviction will mean I have wasted the last 3 years of my life, and there is no positive outlook after that.
I simply refuse to live as a burden to the people I care about.
so you would rather end you're whole life than 3 years of it?
that doesn't make sense.
but it could ruin you're chance for being a teacher, what did you do anyways?
life can always get better, just think about how.
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Nova
Registered: 10/16/02
Posts: 1,365
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
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Quote:
shroommachine said:
but everything in my life just fell apart in 1 really bad night.
Well if it turned so far south in just one day, imagine what a couple of good days in the future would do.
If nothing else, stick around to fight against the injustice that was done to you (i'm assuming a drug conviction) and end the nonsense that is prohibition. Millions of people have suffered desperately, as you are now, because someone else thinks they know what's best for you and your body, and will RUIN your life in order to teach you that.
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Mr.Al
Alphabet soup
Registered: 05/27/07
Posts: 5,388
Loc: N.S.A. D.C.
Last seen: 3 months, 17 days
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Tell people you are suicidal.
Avoid jail time.
Be stuck in a loony bin for a little while.
Get out of crazy house and resume your life.
Maintain a low profile.
Sometimes the best family isn't your biological one.
Find people that enjoy your company and lifestyle.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Thinking about killing mysel [Re: krypto2000]
#10923305 - 08/23/09 09:59 PM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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if this is a sex offense or murder ur life will only get worst.
if its not i like this idea
Quote:
krypto2000 said:
Why not got backpacking across the country?
or this
Quote:
Mr.Al said:
Tell people you are suicidal.
Avoid jail time.
Be stuck in a loony bin for a little while.
Get out of crazy house and resume your life.
Maintain a low profile.
Sometimes the best family isn't your biological one.
Find people that enjoy your company and lifestyle.
Edited by Anonymous (08/23/09 10:01 PM)
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