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 Jamo   Registered: 07/21/09 Posts: 173 Last seen: 8 months, 14 days |
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Since that is my first post in this amazing community, I want to begin with a sincere hello to all. I apologize in advance for flawed language - my native language is German.
I've been reading a lot on the topic of autism and wrote an important term paper about it. In my social circle there are two people which are "suffering" (definitely flawed ^^) from Asperger's autism, none of them has had psychedelic experiences. In the paper I was theorizing about the possible nature of autism as a deviation of the brain's information filtering and postprocessing mechanisms. Psychedelic drugs are believed by many to unfold their effects by acting on these filtering mechanisms (which are of course still far from being understood completely). I would therefore appreciate it if there were any Asperger's autists on these boards that had psychedelic experiences (especially psilocybin, since its the one which I am most experienced with, besides LSA and Salvia) who are willing to report if they experienced it differently than non-autistic people (hard to tell anyway, but extremely different experiences could be recognized by comparing them to the "average" psychedelic experience). In case that post belongs to the psychedelic experience section, I apologize. Edited by Jamo (08/09/09 02:58 PM)
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Anonymous #1 |
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I have aspergers syndrom myself.
I feel that psychedelic drugs allow me to feel like a person without aspergers syndrom temporarily or atleast give me a feeling that mimics empathy.
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 Huehuecoyotl Fading Slowly   Registered: 06/13/04 Posts: 10,689 Loc: On the Border |
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I have symptoms of aspergers, in the past they were much more prominent. I feel that psychedelics make us more aware. As we become aware corrections can be made
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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csrpj no one's a stran  Registered: 11/06/08 Posts: 983 Loc: bay area, califo Last seen: 8 years, 9 months |
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interesting...
curious - for the last two posters and others, have you ever had molly?
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Huehuecoyotl Fading Slowly Registered: 06/13/04 Posts: 10,689 Loc: On the Border |
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One positive note about Asperger's. if a person with this disorder decides to learn something then they get damn good at whatever they decide to learn. One can always play to their strengths. I would seriously hesitate to call Asperger's a disability.
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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Asante Omnicyclion prophet  Registered: 02/06/02 Posts: 87,330 |
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A former friend of mine has Asperger's and used psychedelics.
During his two periods of psychedelics use his impulse control severely disrupted and he started to get more and more into delusional thinking and became more odd from the outside world's point of view. The last psychedelics session he took resulted in him locking himself into his bedroom, completely trashing the place screaming like a caveman at 4 AM, and then collapsing into a psychologically devastated state which lasted more than 12 hours after the psychedelics wore off. MDMA did much, much good for him. It was Good Medicine for him in the best sense of the word. Weed was like heroin to him, severe addiction and smoking himself so silly he got severe panic attacks with paranoia.. then when it wore off 45 min later him lighting up again. Weed enhanced his impulsiveness, oddness and self-destructive tendencies. If you got Asperger's, or know someone who does and has psychedelic interests, I from my limited experiences with an Aspergers sufferer would recommend against weed and psychedelics, but in strong favor of MDMA.
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Jamo Registered: 07/21/09 Posts: 173 Last seen: 8 months, 14 days |
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No, my interest in autism has nothing to do with me or my Asperger friends. I have tried not to sound like referring to Asperger's syndrom as a disability. But it is difficult to achieve that level of objectivity in a foreign language. I apologize. One of my Asperger friends has an ambitious hobby - learning about Germany's railway network. A few more years and he won't need any schedules anymore
 Thanks for the constructive responses. Interesting to read conflicting reports. Edited by Jamo (08/11/09 02:47 PM)
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doyoutrip Marijuana Enthus  Registered: 04/18/09 Posts: 661 Loc: Sunny D Last seen: 13 years, 10 months |
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Hmm it might to do with how prevalent the symptoms of Aspergers is within the individual.
Maybe it had to do with how well each person coped with stress/new environments This is definitely interesting and i hope to see more like it 
-------------------- "Going about niiinneettyy On the freeway choking Ain't no mystery to the weed we smokin'" "Started from weed, big smoke outs before you could exhale, blunt in your mouth"  
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sterbeklang w/e  Registered: 03/03/09 Posts: 824 Loc: Filthy Rock |
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Quote: OMFG, imagine if you could go to the psychiatrist and get a prescription for MDMA.... god, I would be there tomorrow. -------------------- 
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doyoutrip Marijuana Enthus Registered: 04/18/09 Posts: 661 Loc: Sunny D Last seen: 13 years, 10 months |
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Quote: Haha id develop every symptom i needed 
-------------------- "Going about niiinneettyy On the freeway choking Ain't no mystery to the weed we smokin'" "Started from weed, big smoke outs before you could exhale, blunt in your mouth"
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Peace.Love.Pedobea Stranger  Registered: 06/15/10 Posts: 12 Last seen: 11 years, 8 months |
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I apparently have aspurgers & ADHD, says the Doctors. I do not understand because I believe I feel empathy more than the average person, let alone aspie.
MDMA - tried this quite a few times, made me talk a lot and feel a lot smarter; but people seemed to enjoy chatting with me. Except the one time I had a religious discussion with my friend who was die-hard religious; he ended up throwing up and is now atheist :p. Psilocybin - First it was a great, quite silly experience. I acted quite weird and when everyone went to bed I was alone and spent hours researching and learning things I normally wouldn't care about. Although this didn't help me, while I was high - the month afterward I felt more happy, less depressed, and more social. LSD - I took too much, 5 sheets, started freaking out told my friend to lend me $20 for MDMA otherwise I'd get really depressed and probably kill myself. After I took the 3 hits of MDMA I don't remember much of the experience, although I hear I took my shirt off and layed down in the middle of the rave floor lol. Weed - I know there's two different kinds of weed, one which makes you sleepy and paranoid and one that makes you giggly and concentrated (indica & sativa???). When I get the sleepy paranoid kind I usually fall asleep and don't talk much, just listen to Pink Floyd or w/e. When I have the giggly concentrated kind I become very funny (in a good way; say my friends), and also noticed I can play Halo like wayyy better lol. Speed (amphetamine) - I feel perfected, my social skills are increased substantially.
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PsilocybinMike T.F.Y.Q.A  Registered: 02/18/08 Posts: 2,602 Last seen: 8 years, 1 month |
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http://www.hofmann.org/papers/fi
A guy named Gary Fischer's experiences with treating autistic/schizophrenic children with LSD in the 1960s before it was illegal. Pretty interesting. Quote: --------------------  baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p
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Peace.Love.Pedobea Stranger Registered: 06/15/10 Posts: 12 Last seen: 11 years, 8 months |
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That is quite interesting, thanks!
<3 ur sig <3
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The Mad Shroomer Madcap  Registered: 04/11/10 Posts: 595 Loc: Australia Last seen: 11 years, 7 months |
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Quote: Sounds like you're a well balanced dude, I'd get a second opinion on that diagnosis if I were you  @Jamo: your english is perfect. Better than many native english speakers I see on internet forums 
-------------------- ...and what exactly is a dream? And what exactly is a joke?
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classified Stranger Registered: 10/03/11 Posts: 14 Last seen: 12 years, 3 months |
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I have "aspergers", although my dad is a psychologist who also has it and knows that today's medical practices make things much much worse, so he withheld my diagnosis. But basically what somebody said about marijuana addiction looking similar to a heroin addict to the outside world. The reality is people like myself are trrriipping from birth and doing any psychedelics helps us in the long run in the same way meth or cocaine helps adhd, especially when used in social situations (only do it with good friends though to avoid a very negative experience). Basically we trip out even more which makes us act more like everyone else afterwards. Personally I probably used marijuana too much, only because at the time I did not understand the way people treated me and in the end used marijuana (because i knew it was relatively safe compared to alcohol)as a way to hide and escape from all the ignorant assholes that makes up most of our generation. I knew marijuana was a relatively safe drug long term and it was easily accessible without talking to idiotic doctors. I could seriously go on about this shit for days but i have a massive headache and basically just wanted to provide a little info to any younger aspies out there. Keep your head up, fuck bitchs, get money if ya wanna. do shrooms, manufacture lsd! peace
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PsilocybinMike T.F.Y.Q.A Registered: 02/18/08 Posts: 2,602 Last seen: 8 years, 1 month |
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ass burgers south park was funny
:edit: Not to take away from the seriousness of this research. It's an amazing thing and I wrote up a long post below! -------------------- baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p Edited by PsilocybinMike (11/16/11 02:41 AM)
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Aukikco Entity  Registered: 08/28/07 Posts: 41 Loc: 
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months |
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http://www.maps.org/media/update
Quote:
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cateyes Registered: 12/16/03 Posts: 2,754 |
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first off i need to point out i don't have asperger syndrome but i feel my own personal experience might be helpful in some way... i was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder eight years ago... around four to five years ago i became interested in reading books authored by psychiatrists who used primarily lsd(but also psilocybin) to treat patients with serious mental illnesses with great success... the one that stood out from the rest was stanislav grof(i've read just about all his books, fascinating man)... anyway, i made the decision to try this for myself... i returned to the shroomery to get back upto speed on cultivating, set up my gear in the basement and went to town... i kept this hidden from my wife because i didn't want to freak her out... first flush, i dried them out and during a saturday evening took about an eighth... i was worried i would begin to lose it and becomepsychotic or something but nothing could be further from the truth... i sat in my basement room listening to music... the come on was just like i remembered and the overall experience was quite beautiful... days later i noticed i had no depression or anxiety and had a high level of clarity and a sense of inner peace... this lasted for weeks and it was at this point i realized i no longer was experiencing period of hypo-mania... i still continued having the classic symptoms like hallucinations, delusions, paranoia to name a few but their occurrences decreased dramatically and when they did occur i understood the experience much better instead of falling down the rabbit hole... today i trip once maybe twice a month at most, i find that's all i need to help me keep an even keel...
with that said, i think someone with asperger syndrome could gain something from psilocybin but i would warn against over doing it... Kensho 
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Anonymous #1 |
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I have experienced the same thing with weed, severe addiction and paranoia.
As for psychedelics I can go into intense delusive states, especially with mushrooms and 2c-x but have had none of these problems with LSD, I think it makes me more normal. MDMA helped me to empathize as people who are naturally more empathic do.
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PsilocybinMike T.F.Y.Q.A Registered: 02/18/08 Posts: 2,602 Last seen: 8 years, 1 month |
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donate to maps
-------------------- baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p Edited by PsilocybinMike (11/17/11 09:02 AM)
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The Phleg Big Dick Chakra    Registered: 03/07/10 Posts: 14,473 Loc: Uncanny Valley |
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I shared obvious symptoms with aspergers, but have never been tested for it.
One thing is certain, I've changed, and I think I know what it takes. In this order of experiencing. 1. Cannabis - to show me my mind is fluid. 2. Psilocybe Mushrooms - to show me my mind can be altered. 3. Psilocybe Mushrooms (full ego loss) - to allow me to drastically alter my mind, wipe the slate clean and begin to rebuild the right way. 4. MDMA - to show me the love I posses and use this love to build my new self. My journey isn't complete, but I've come a hell of a long way. Gotta be careful with the weed though, as warned by a few posters above. Weed was pretty much used to introduce me to the idea of drugs and drugs affecting thoughts. Weed being fairly safe made it a great starter. Jumping straight into shrooms may be harsh on the mind. -------------------- You wanna get high? Drink tap water. --------------------  Edited by The Phleg (11/16/11 03:13 AM)
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Pacmanpth Stranger  Registered: 01/29/11 Posts: 583 Last seen: 11 years, 8 months |
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Quote: My exact experience as well. Had symptoms, although moreso hyper empathy than no empathy, reclusiveness, compulsive/obsessive behavior, social awkwardness, and language/speech issues. Psychedelics have helped me cure those almost entirely. Quote: Very much appreciate and agree with this. Proper setting and mental/physical health are important for these to be achieved effectively and safely. Edited by Pacmanpth (11/16/11 01:09 PM)
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xdefiance I'm going on an adventure  Registered: 09/29/10 Posts: 407 |
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Quote: LOL. I'm diagnosed with Aspergers. I can see my friend saying the same thing about me when I was in college.
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PsilocybinMike T.F.Y.Q.A Registered: 02/18/08 Posts: 2,602 Last seen: 8 years, 1 month |
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Quote: I was just re-reading some of these, this shit is really remarkable. Some of these kids were so beyond help to the point some of them were believed to likely be dying soon and this miracle LSD treatment saved some of these kids who had nothing left to lose. Check this out if you never have. Really good read. -------------------- baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p
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jtgr Stranger Registered: 04/23/12 Posts: 1 Last seen: 8 years, 22 days |
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Holy fucking omg.
Some of the posts in this thread made me like... I don't even know... I had to make an account to reply right away.. I have aspergers, or so the doctors say, I'm not sure.. I've been questioning everything lately, becoming more and more insane... The continuous loop of madness I like to call it. Drugs are my bestfriend. Any ol' kind.. And I did acid for the first time, and, well everything finally blew up.. I was doing stuff like dextromethorphan (robocaps), bombs, ampetamines, ect... prior to this, so I knew... But I never tried acid before, so obviously I did acid. I never have done it again, I'm completely insane now, to the point where 'mind over matter' is questioned, because physically it started to hurt. I need help, I'm very stuck. My story is so complex and long, I just need SOMEONE who will take their time to listen to me who understands and is like me who can possibly help me. Can someone please reply or message me? I really need answers. I wanna be okay. Please...
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WorldWideWInton Student  Registered: 03/12/09 Posts: 4,716 Loc: unknown |
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Quote:Quote: Same here -------------------- My past post are not necessarily reflections of my current opinions.
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drkkenny Explorer  Registered: 10/13/11 Posts: 1,440 Loc: Down a well Last seen: 5 years, 11 months |
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All my life I've been an outsider, a hermit, never really belonging anywhere but to my own mind... I have a mild form of aspergers syndrome (never diagnosed) & it has always been hard to get emotionally involved with others, but after DMT I have felt more confident in myself & not only that but actually curious about other people & striking up conversations with complete strangers.
It's like I had this box over my head my whole life & all of a sudden after smoking this substance it was removed & I could really be who I am. I don't even have anxiety anymore, why should I be scared after seeing the truth? the truth that most people will never see...we create our heaven or hell while we are here on Earth, if you think you are shy, you will be shy. I'm very much against "disorders" I believe if you control your thoughts you can change who you are & how you interact with the external world. I feel bad for people with OCD/social phobia etc etc because i know they are doing it to themselves to an extent. I'm now on a quest to help & heal others & enlighten their minds aswell as my own. The road is there you just have to go down it & roll with whatever happens. I have experimented with LSD, shrooms, ketamine, DXM, weed, alcohol, ecstasy, & that's pretty much it. They all helped me find myself in their own ways. I think psychedelics can help anyone with their problems, not including schizophrenics because of obvious reasons. -------------------- No More Stories Are Told Today, I'm Sorry They Washed Away // No More Stories, The World Is Grey, I'm Tired, Let's Wash Away. God 2 read 10932148 Unread messages
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Visionary Tools  Registered: 06/23/07 Posts: 7,953 Last seen: 1 year, 10 months |
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Quote: Take it from another "Aspie" as I have heard it euphemistically called that I hated MDMA, turned me into a motormouth, made me feel dirty like speed did, and despite not wanting to reach out and talk to strangers (and asking all of them where I could get some weed to calm down) I still fucking did it. I didn't feel "loved up" I was dancing constantly and felt like a twat. Now, I know someone with aspergers, and smoking weed for him was a bad idea, but he's a paranoid shizophrenic. Cannabis for me is something I'm using as a crutch, that helps me deal with life. Oh, I could deal with life without it, I just prefer how comfortable things are on it. I'm usually just chilled out and more inclined to have a laugh and I turn into an information sponge. Useful when in school. As for psychedelics, love them. I have partaken in mescaline, salvia and LSA. LSA made me feel the happiest I've ever been, but I suspect I overdosed as I puked on it. Mescaline left me feeling spiritually cleansed, and salvia? Salvia takes me into sideways world. Cactus helped me re-connect with the spiritual nature of the world around us. Because of this, I am a better individual than what I was, and a lot more secure in myself. -------------------- 
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Jamo Registered: 07/21/09 Posts: 173 Last seen: 8 months, 14 days |
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I just want to let everyone know that I am glad that this is still getting replies after such a long time
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Rabelais Stranger Registered: 09/18/12 Posts: 48 Last seen: 10 years, 7 months |
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note: Most instances of the word "it" in this post refer to mescaline and to a somewhat lesser extent, other psychedelics.
As someone who has been diagnosed by assloads of doctors as having asperger's syndrome, and as someone who uses more psychedelics than anyone I know (Except for my uncle the amateur ayahuascero. Never mind, he probably has an account here), I would have to say they are a very, very good thing. Especially mescaline. After I finish tripping on mescaline, I feel like a normal person for the next two weeks, without any form of autism whatsoever. During the trip itself I usually will experience intense empathy for everyone everywhere everywhen (like, levels of empathy that would make Fred Rogers say "For fuck's sake, nobody can care that much!"), but instead of my empathy going back to 5% of what's typical, it stays 100% typical for two weeks. Also seemed to permanently kill my anxiety, and will suppress my unipolar depression for about two weeks. I would wager that the psychedelic experience differs subjectively in autistic people compared to regulars, though the psychedelic experience is of course something that is primarily discussed in subjective terms, making it a bit of a moot point since it differs for everyone. It feels less spiritual for me typically than most trip reports I've read (but then I'm one of those smug atheists you've heard all about), and I think it also typically feels a lot more cinematic to me, like I'm inside a movie or tv show, except I'm not doing anything interesting. On mescaline alone it's got a sci-fi/fantasy vibe to it. If I take adderall, weed, and a grab bag of nootropics with it, the tv show will always be Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! This is the first genuinely effective treatment for autism I have ever taken. Anecdotally speaking. If you give your little Rainman a pound of powdered peruvian torch flesh and they end up even more autistic, it ain't my fault. You'll be able to tell they're more autistic when they start flying, in case you were wondering. Full disclosure: In addition to aspergers I have left temporal epilepsy which has left me with a touch of brain damage after dozens of concussions. IQ, memory, and perception are unaffected, but it might hypothetically affect how I trip, I guess. Unfortunately my epilepsy medication is levetiracetam, a drug also used to treat HPPD. It sours every psychedelic you mix it with and will turn the mellowest trip into introspective hell. For this reason I always skip it when I trip and will have a few temazepam instead. My neurologist says that's ok given temazepam's longish half-life and the fact that I've only ever reacted well to it. Edited by Rabelais (09/18/12 10:47 AM)
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Allyander Master of the Bed Chamber  Registered: 01/08/13 Posts: 54 Last seen: 10 years, 11 months |
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swim was diagnosed with asperger's, social anxiety, and depression when swim was 15 and was prescribed 20mg of lexapro for two years. swim fiddled around with weed in highschool but not too much. swim loved alcohol throughout highschool though because it dumbed him down and helped him sleep. But he got way too into alcohol, as he does with everything he enjoys, and started distilling moonshine in his basement at age 17. By the time he made it to his freshman year in college, he had just recently picked up a weed habit, and within two weeks, he started buying half ounces every two days and selling. within a month of his freshman year (no prior drug use other than pot and alcohol) he tried just about every drug other than heroin, crack, and meth. sometime within the first semester he started growing mushrooms in his dorm room, and frequently experimenting with xanax, psilocybin and lsd. Shortly after second semester began, he got in trouble with his parents because the drug use was consuming him. It wasnt anywhere near addiction, but he was soooo interested in drugs, especially mushrooms, that it became noticable. He hates how he has no control over his obsession with things that interest him, and therefore he finds drugs somewhat dangerous. On the otherhand, mdma didnt affect his disorder much, and caused raging depression and delusion for each few days after use. However lsd and psilocybin both made him feel normal for once, and every one of his friends enjoyed him so much. All of the sudden, he was normal, and everyone else that was tripping was wierd. He could take three hits of acid and make so many friends. Weeks after, he could tell that anxiety and depression were relieved greatly. He can agree with the statement that weed was like heroin. Got waaayyy too into it. Its great fun but an eighth a day got him carried away.
-------------------- 
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WorldWideWInton Student Registered: 03/12/09 Posts: 4,716 Loc: unknown |
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Quote: I have aspies and once I came to terms with the fact that it is out of my control and accepted not as a "disorder" or "disease" but as a different way my brain works that has helped me excel academically and in many other areas of life. I see it as an advantage. I have a photographic memory, used to be picture perfect but due to drug use it has become fuzzy, still comes in handy when taking tests in school its like I am reading the answers out of the pic of the text book I have in my head instead of recalling information other ways. Ive also noticed I can think my way out of depression/anxiety. My mind works in a linear/logical fashion. Whether what I am thinking is actually logical or not, as long as I can think of a way that it is logical I can convince myself of anything. Learn to use the aspies to your advantage. dont work against it. And if anything else, wait a few months, in the DSM V aspergers is not going to be in it... So your going to be cured in no time. -------------------- My past post are not necessarily reflections of my current opinions.
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The Phleg Big Dick Chakra Registered: 03/07/10 Posts: 14,473 Loc: Uncanny Valley |
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That was inspirational.
-------------------- You wanna get high? Drink tap water. --------------------
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shroomburgers Stranger Registered: 02/06/13 Posts: 1 Last seen: 11 years, 2 months |
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Quote: You're telling me. As a 19 year old who has had the diagnosis for 7 years, some of these posts are quite empowering. My first shroom trip is coming up on it's one year anniversary and I can honestly say that I have no regrets. It's as if shrooms opened my eyes and allowed my consciousness to expand and recognize the consequences of my actions where I haven't taken much notice before. I always knew that Asperger's was bad, but I honestly never made the connection to the real world. Yes, individuals had trouble in conversing in others, but to what extent? Through my first-hand accounts, I could truly realize the extent of my disability (which I choose not to have labeled on my record.) There's more to the story, but some friends are here to blaze it up so I must get going. I'm just thankful that I am not the only one who feels this "enlightenment" and strives to improve as an individual.
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saynin Stranger Registered: 02/10/13 Posts: 1 Last seen: 11 years, 2 months |
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I am 23 years old and have strong reasons to believe I'm somewhere on the autistic spectrum, more likely near the asperger zone. I've always been kind of a recluse; always found it difficult to connect with others, but at the same time finding it somehow pointless -I still don't fully know if I really enjoy things from my own personal window, or is it an unconscious way of dealing with my incapacity of getting out of my shell. One thing I know for sure is I've always somehow felt I was different. This sense of self awareness, being somehow in tune with one's own reality has always been there, and I guess it would be one of the most important reasons why I so happily indulged in drug use.
Just to be clear, I never tried too many different drugs. Alcohol was probably the first, with my first beers around age 11, flirting with tequila and whisky for the first time around 13, and a proud collection of empty bottles of every single liquor money could buy in my hometown at 16. It was right before I started emptying a bottle every weekend that I was shown the genetic predisposition to addiction by my father's own drinking problem, his self medication for a bipolar disorder that was misdiagnosed as depression for a long time after he lost his job (he once told me that before he lost his job, he had the longest manic period of his life which lasted a little longer than a year, and getting fired was the big blow that started to take him down to his longest period of depression, which may explain the diagnosis). BUT, alcohol was there, it made the pain go away, it made it easier to talk to people, often making an asshole out of myself, rarely regretting it. Although I almost died of an alcohol poisoning at age 16, I kept drinking. To this day, a single drop of alcohol in my blood urges me to drink more. Still young, I tried different kinds of chemical stuff, like paint solvent, aerosol sprays that were definitely not made to be inhaled, cough syrups... Never really abused them, although there has been a short period of time where my drink-drug buddy and I enjoyed a few too often doing cold sprays. Mostly it was fun. The few times I drank cough syrup (I actually don't know if we have the same chemical compounds in our cough syrup here, mine was pseudoephedrine I think) I had this extreme focus and urge to write, mainly bullshit stuff. The paint solvent was hardcore stuff though, really fucks you up, a complete loss of senses and awareness, consciousness becomes one big fuzzy ball hanging around, and as you come down you clearly feel the damage it causes. Millions of children living in the street around the world are using this stuff. I've grown in a town where they roam around. It's pretty terrible to see how fucked up they are. Don't do this kind of stupid stuff. I was stupid back then. Oh yeah, and I had an adventure with salvia for a while. Can't really say if I liked it or not -too weird to be quantified. And finally -before introducing the hero- I did shrooms once -well, actually philosopher's stones. Now, I know they're supposed to be less visual and more intellectual, but when you take double the recommended dose, the smurfs will appear to you my friend. The hallucinations were not mind blowing, but the experience itself was perception shifting in itself. I really liked doing them. It's been 5 years since, haven't done it again. But I've been meditating on the subject deeply, and I put an enormous amount of faith in them. I'm waiting for the right time to take a second trip with real psilocybin shrooms, and hopefully it will be worth the wait for self growth. As to the reason why I still don't feel completely ready.... WEED !!! Ahhh, that evil, evil, evil beautiful lady. That good old tittie hanging from a hook (I'm not always good with metaphors, you know). Weed has been my drug of choice ever since the first time I got high at 17. I'm not gonna dive in stories, cause there are so many of them. Instead, I'm gonna try and sum my life since I've started smoking it : -high school : doing it on weekends, sometimes during weeks, sometimes not doing it for longer periods. At the time, I wasn't smoking any potent bud, but still it made everything much more intense. First sparkles of consciousness expansion as I become interested in how the brain jumps from one subject to another at incredible rate. -first year of college : one important thing that happened is that I moved to a different country to study, so I found myself a bit isolated. That, added to my natural inability to connect and increasing interest in weed made me lose interest in going to classes. Real anti social behavior at the time. First experiences with potent buds. A short but intense binge that becomes my first real glimpse on the limitless possibilities of experiencing the world. Becoming more and more fascinated with my own experience. -second year of college : that's the year that defined everything. It is during this year that I became a daily and lonely smoker. It was the beginning of living both in heaven and hell. I was in a constant state of looking for the inner beauty of everything, in amazement of the world, with an unquenchable thirst for knowledge about everything but especially the human mind, the cosmos and psychedelics; at the same time I was anxious, experiencing loneliness not as a chosen state but one I'm determined to, feeling losing my grasp on my smoking habit, irresponsible, sometimes paranoid, sometimes even on the verge of losing my sense of reality (I've had a brief conversation with God in which he sent me a sign by making something in my room fall to prove me I was going insane). I've had a few bad trips on weed during the period, all of which would cause a normal human being to quit. But I kept doing it, and I loved the shit out of it, and at the same time my inner voice was begging me to quit, and sometimes it too admitted this shit was awesome... I kept doing it, and the more I did, the more I felt I was in tune with the universe, allowing myself a great intuitive understanding of the big plan, seeing through the bullshit that makes everyday life blurry, out of touch with beauty and harmony. I kept doing it, and as time went by, I've placed myself in orbit, where I can watch everything happening on the planet, and if I want I can zoom in with my super telescope, but my communication gear doesn't seem to work properly. Okay, to be a little more specific, the MAIN thing it did to me, and made me fall in love with it, is that I gained access to my brain's data storage room like I never did before. I become some kind of film editor in my own brain, toying with an overwhelming amount of memories from all stages of life, making and breaking connections at will, absorbing every information available on every synapse to shape and build every possible story about my own life, or that of life itself. I feel like my unconscious thought processes become somehow conscious. Today, I'm once again at the cross roads, where I've stood time and time again during these past years. I know absolutely unequivocally well that weed is causing me more harm than I benefit from it. I've made great progress in re-evaluating my social perspective on life (I actually needed to pause active life for a few years to do so), and weed stands today between me and the new life I'd like to step into. I simply cannot stand the idea of going a few days without smoking -mainly because I need to fill all the spare time I have with something else, and one of the big damages weed caused is that it becomes the motivation in itself to do other interesting things, so when you take it out everything else seems a little pointless. So I'm still struggling to break the cycle, get my life going, applying all these great insights weed allowed me to gain for a very expensive price nevertheless. It's far from being easy, but the other way is wasting the rest of my life in this state of passive wondering, and I don't want that. So... In one sentence? Uh.. In my case, weed changed my life - it made me an omnipotent being devoid of willpower As the preacher said, "I could write shorter speeches but once I start I'm too lazy to stop" (wink wink Lincoln)
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KGB Is Go Сталкер  Registered: 09/09/10 Posts: 322 Loc: VIC 
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months |
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Quote: Well written and interesting post - one I felt I could relate to (same age; suspicions about autistic tendencies; some of the weed experience, though not as intense; and that desire to step into a new life) - I hope you stick around to contribute more to the forum (though that's probably not conducive to the new life you desire. Anyhoo...). Particularly intriguing was that bit about the telescopic sight, somewhat at the cost of comms. I think I can relate to that too. It's an effect of disconnecting (to an extent - the 'orbit' part) and 'living in your head', yeah? This passive wondering... I've been trying to escape that state of being too. I actually enjoy it - it's comfortable and interesting - but when it comes to engaging with other people (which we inevitably have to do) it becomes problematic. I've been addressing it logically, whereby: if my activity and being is concentrated in my head, then I need to take some action to shift it. This action has taken the form of exercise, principally. You weren't exactly asking for advice, but if you're not already doing this (exercising) then I recommend it. It'll help get you out of your head, with this passive wondering, and to become more active and engaged with your body. It should motivate you to get out more and also smoke less week (because you don't want to compromise your fitness goals which you know are ultimately more important). It may also help with the social communication part, if there's any anxiety there at least. No response for the OP, sorry. I've not had any psychological diagnoses so I won't comment. --------------------
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SMPSNtheserious Puppy strangler  Registered: 01/12/13 Posts: 28 Last seen: 10 years, 8 months |
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I have a bit of aspergers myself. I'd like to add that although we can talk out of line at times (causing people to find us annoying and reach out less), all in all I think we have extra ability to speak our minds contrary to the public eye (correct me if I'm wrong), and can hyperfocus, giving us an edge at learning things of interest.
My drug experiences are as follows: LSD: Increased confidence, energy flow, and all in all tastefulness with my creativity. I've become more paranoid about life due to negative self-judging sometimes thinking that the chemical changes are what causes me to tweak out with anxiety. Probably all in my head, but I'd like to hear if you have a similar experience. Weed: Temporary increase in creativity/energy flow (great learning tool), either riding a wave of anxiety until I reach relaxation or sedating me, depending on the strain. Also can be demotivational as I'm plateuing, but hey it makes for a good sleep aid. Mushrooms: Increase in sociability and positive attitude, def. gonna continue this. DMT: Increase in self awareness, almost from a third person view, caused me to notice strange coincidences having to do with the flow of life itself, definitely calming to have this view. However the idea of blasting off scares the piss out of me so I haven't broken all the way through yet :p I may have gotten off the topic of aspergers, but just felt like sharing my experiences and wonder if this has anything to do with the condition. -------------------- You're on the right path, but are you paving it fast enough?
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Allyander Master of the Bed Chamber Registered: 01/08/13 Posts: 54 Last seen: 10 years, 11 months |
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Having asperger's, I can write down what's on my mind better than the average person of my age and intellect. But good lord, i don't care if it is my best friend or someone i don't know, i cannot get in an arguement or a debate or even talk about something im not interested in without feeling completely out of the conversation and as if the conversation isn't going well. Just a comment on that.
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4mati0n Stranger Registered: 10/19/13 Posts: 2 Last seen: 10 years, 5 months |
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being an Aspie i just HAD to make an account to post a comment, im on here from yesterday's "trip" on LSD. SKIP TO BOTTOM FOR LSD REPORT. wanted to write a short bit, every aspie is different, as every human is unique!
24 Years old. Substance History: -Dextroamphetamine/Amphetamine (Adderall) 17 y\o -Oxycodone/Acetaminophen (Percocet) 18 y\o -Hydrocodone/Acetaminophen (Vicodin) 19-20 y\o -ethanol C2H5OH (Liquor/Beer) 20 y\o -Alprazolam (Xanax) 20 y\o -THC (Cannabis) 21 y\o -Diazepam (Valium) 23 y\o -Lorazepam (Ativan) 23 y\o -Psilocybin/Psilocin (Mushrooms) 24 y\o -Lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD) 24 y\o Discovered all these substances in this order. Started smoking Cannabis when i was 21, after a beer binge for a few months (6 pack a day, let to a 12 pack a day...and im 5'6" weigh 125 lbs...) and really having troubles(work\relationships\fami The Cannabis was helping with bits of empathy and other emotions i can't recall experiencing for the first time, it was mostly helping me with appetite and just appreciating some very rudimentary things in life, stuff i should of known by the time i was a kid... like that plants grow because of sunshine, thats a no brainer, but up until that point it was never that important to me...just started to appreciate things a LITTLE more... outdoors became just more pleasant, wasn't so much of a grouch....ect... at this point i thought THC was THE thing for me, and i felt so relived, instantly quit smoking, and started vaporizing to be health conscious, still use it to this day, very healing plant for many different things!, anyway. But with cannabis comes tolerance, a ceiling....or the end of some kind of road, albeit a empty sack or the very temporary like effects of THC wear off. 22, Went to a Psychotherapist, told me i was close on the autism spectrum, not exerting enough symptoms to be an Aspie...At the time i still just, FELT different, weather it was aspergers or whatever it didn't matter, just knew i was different, always feeling like id just piss everyone off, no matter my approach to social behavior, over analyzing everyone's emotions without connecting their body language first. The THC had me so one foot out the door at times...it almost made everything worse, all my problems became so clear and apparent, as far as changing them, id need some help. 23, started experimenting (never more than one a day, never mixed together.) With benzo's like xanax, ativan, valium.... i thought these helped so amazingly, but just another fail....just led to small addiction, side effects, withdraw. once again, wears off anyways. Im smart enough to know this isnt the answer. 24, the same person that first hinted me of aspergers when i was 22, handed me 2.5grams of some decent strength mushrooms one day. Made some mushie tea, i became a child for a few hours, rediscovering life like a small child with innocence, emotion, empathy, imagination... quite an experience... def trippy...bought an OZ of mushrooms the next day (28g) of POTENT shrooms, i was hooked on this mystery of an experience in a dream like world... Experimented successfully with different sized doses and experiences. All very positive, learned a lot about myself, and every time i could just tell, I WAS DIFFERENT, couldn't of been more clear, the thought of someone telling me "what i have" made me just laugh, what do they know? what a book told them, but in my heart i knew what was going on, i could feel it... But when i came to being sober... still had my negative traits back....still hard to change...change what tho?.. Few Weeks later... ----------LSD EXPERINCE----------- A good friend for years, very experienced tripper, gets me a few hits of LSD on white on white blotter paper, just little white squares wrapped in foil....too creepy, ive let TV, movies, the news....all that fear in loathing shit get to my head...thinking this will be some face melting, visual, kaleidoscope of horror or happiness..... everyone either explains a very positive or negative exp...just like mushrooms too though...and i love those, this chemical is too undeniable for me to try, its molecular structure is too close to Psilocybin/Psilocin for me NOT to try...i knew i had to be in the right mindset to or else id freak(not really, just thought so at the time. at a low dose such as half\one tab, the worse you'll experience is crying, might be good for you anyways)....next day, fuck it. going in. If i was Naive enough to think putting a gun to my head to solve my problems, why not put a gun to what i think is "reality" and shatter it. took a half tab for safety, dont want a 250ug first trip on accident. my friend told me 1 is fun and 2 is amazing, considering his tolerance, i figured 1 would be enough. 30 mins in, i feel, something, not high, not trippin, but i could tell it was coming, but not strong enough to break threshold. took the other half tab. 30 mins later, i was there. Normally, when i "trip" taking mushrooms, i feel almost transported to a dream like version of the world i live in now. So i was expecting that feeling, LSD also being a psychedelic (so is cannabis, but its nothing like shrooms...) the stimulated senses started coming in, i could see better, more depth, hear better, taste better... rather than 'rediscovering' all those things. Even simple math and numbers became more understood (than clouded with shrooms) my brain had felt like it was operating at full capacity, perfectly, not overloaded. Problem solving, and multitasking became easier. suddenly i realized, i just felt... "normal" that normal ive been trying to compare myself to with everyone else that doesn't have aspergers... instantly become emotional, start realizing all the things im really doing wrong and i FINALLY have an insight on how i can fix it....and during the trip, i have an increased bout of confidence, not OVER confidence that i achieve from alcohol(followed by a million negative other things) I feel like i have the power to change myself, first starts with just apologizing, that in itself was helping so much. later the sadness was replace with rejoice as im so hopeful that i found the perfect thing to help me, i become so curious an ambitious to go outside, see what happens when i come in contact with the one thing i fear all the time, the public. The thought of me coming down off this, perplexed me.... i didn't feel high or trippin....just like, i was normal, but that in itself to me....was quite the trip, i was finally able to enjoy myself while around others in a public place.... i quickly ordered some food, walked across the st, anxiously wondering how my new found social abilities will work out... knowing my pupils are blasted wide open, normally im so paranoid about my eyes even being red or someone knowing that im high...this does not bother me one bit, in fact my eye contact is off the charts, and i don't even give a damn what anyone thinks...about my eyes, or what i took. All i know is that i was able to keep my head up, speak for myself, stand up for myself, not let others opinions take to my heart. later i ate, watched some movies and relaxed with my girlfriend the rest of the night, nothing trippy or twitchy, was able to just relax and be myself, was amazing, fell asleep just fine, woke up feeling great, now typing this. I really hope this can help at least just ONE person.....sorry for the long post, but if you're anything like me, itl intrigue you... you'll read the whole thing, then wonder, Is LSD right for me?.... Yes, get in the mindset of wanting to help yourself, not cause you're bored, and take a light dose, whats the worse that could happen? not feel anything?...
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The Phleg Big Dick Chakra Registered: 03/07/10 Posts: 14,473 Loc: Uncanny Valley |
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Wonderful post!
Welcome to the shroomery!  Keep on spinning, man. -------------------- You wanna get high? Drink tap water. --------------------
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KGB Is Go Сталкер Registered: 09/09/10 Posts: 322 Loc: VIC 
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months |
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4mati0n, interesting read. Thanks for sharing.
I can definitely relate to the mindset/abilities brought on in the psychedelic state as feeling normal. That was a really strong feeling for me when I first started smoking weed and I get the same feeling when on LSD too. --------------------
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4mati0n Stranger Registered: 10/19/13 Posts: 2 Last seen: 10 years, 5 months |
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thank you friends! the fact i wrote that the next morning, i later on was worried i was just on some kind of high, like a placebo, but after going to work the next few days, i can tell im just a lot more relaxed, social anxiety has been toned down significantly, one of my biggest problems was eye contact....now i feel like my eyes are one of my most powerfull tools, like im scanning peoples faces and i can read body language vs attitude and make much better social connections, less ackwardness, and piss off a lot less people (saying the wrong things and the wrong time)
ive been doing small doses at work, 1\4 to 1\2 a tab....not sure of the strength of my tabs, but just one (whole tab) has me trippin with almost visuals (see trip report for more details) just that amount, i can tell its 'working' by my heightened sense of sound, i dont seem to have much pupil dilation, and i can just handle people well....like they normally would, not like my asshole self... feels good man. im hoping to take two tabs soon to further experince what LSD has to offer. i also seem to not get as much visuals on shrooms too, as compaired to my girl on the same dose as me, i have a visual learning disorder, that have anything to do with it? seems like when i focus and WANT the visuals or a trippy time, it seems to take a little effect, but no kaleidoscope.... Edited by 4mati0n (10/21/13 09:57 AM)
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The Phleg Big Dick Chakra Registered: 03/07/10 Posts: 14,473 Loc: Uncanny Valley |
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Don't go too fast on the eye contact. It takes time to get used to someone else staring deep into your own soul.
 But yeah, eye contact is like a gateway into another plane of reality. I used to be completely awful at eye contact, I'd never maintain for longer than an entire second. It's been a couple years since then, and I've come a long way even though I never thought it would be possible. Take small steps and keep at it, but don't try too hard. -------------------- You wanna get high? Drink tap water. --------------------
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KGB Is Go Сталкер Registered: 09/09/10 Posts: 322 Loc: VIC
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months |
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Quote: Not sure how often you're doing it at work but I don't think tripping regularly is recommended (or any drug for that matter) - you don't want to be relying on the drug, or adversely affect your day-to-day consciousness. With LSD, I'm pretty sure tolerance only finally settles after almost a month. That's generally the highest frequency with which I would trip - monthly. A meditation exercise might be a better approach than LSD at work (just my opinion...). Perhaps someone else could comment on this. I can relate to feeling better with the social connections (but only while under the influence). For me, I think it's the clarity of LSD which just reduces much of the apprehension, hesitation and resistance I usually have in speaking with people. I tend to feel a lot more certain and clear about what I'm feeling and in my ability to express it with someone else. I'm very non-visual with my trips. Especially LSD - never had anything in my 3 trips so far (max dose = 2 tabs). I had a couple of really interesting - but very fleeting - visual experiences on my highest shroom dose (still not very high); I'd like to try to recreate that. I'm not sure what a visual learning disorder actually means but I guess you're less visually oriented, compared to the 'norm'. If that's the case, then yes I think that would come into play during a psychedelic experience. I think it's the same case for me. I would actually like to attempt to activate visual centres more under the influence of psychedelics, in effort to make them more prone to use during ordinary states of consciousness. --------------------
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Ianneman Stranger Registered: 01/18/14 Posts: 1 Last seen: 10 years, 2 months |
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I have been diagnosed with Asperger's and I took LSD for the first time last night. It has completely changed the way I view life.
For 6 years my parents have supported me and paid for an education that I didn't bother with, the only thing I ever did was try to satisfy my short-term cravings (whether it was to play games, work out, sex, food) without ever thinking of my responsibility, how other people might possibly feel. I convinced a girl who wasn't right for me to stay here when she could have moved to her home country just so I could feel happy and personally and sexually validated. I escaped my OWN responsibility for my life, my education, a job, my parents and the care of people around me by having her move in with me. I convinced myself I was responsible and a good person but I was as always just using her to escape from what I needed to be working on, using her to feel validated myself. When she moved back to her home country to be with someone else I as always felt like the victim and felt abused after all the effort I had put into her, which was really for myself. For 6 years I have lived like this without feeling guilty, feeling a victim of a society I never felt I belonged to and yesterday evening it ALL hit me at once. At first I was immensely scared and sad as all the responsibility of the past SIX years hit me in the space of fifteen minutes. I confessed everything to my parents and shattered this whole shitty construction I've built up for myself. I am a more than intelligent enough person and I am responsible for so much more than I've ever committed myself to, but now it seems laughably easy considering how lazy and cowardly I've been. A full day for me used to be doing some cardio, going to the store and cleaning my home. Then I was impressed with myself. Good lord almighty those are like the BASICS. Without LSD I would never have realised this and never have saved myself. When I go out into the market I look at people now and I can SEE them THINKING. I still have no idea what goes on in their heads but now they are actual people to me with their own worries, lives, thoughts, history. Everybody is a unique universe of their own and I've just considered them obstacles, objects, parts of a society I felt burdened by but that I am now happy to live a full life in. Wow. Edited by Ianneman (01/18/14 07:12 AM)
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Icyus KavitārkikasiṃHa  Registered: 11/07/13 Posts: 3,502 Loc: Inbetween. Last seen: 8 years, 3 months |
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I had a sense of autism... I felt this a limit sinse I was so leftminded and apathic at times.. shamansim ans psycadellica helped me come in touch with my rightbrain and femininity.. becoming in a sense, bipolar.. but capable of controlling my mindset as to the shamanism.. I need only focus myself to become creative or calculating..
-------------------- And thus begins the reverse-fusing of our one-dimentional understanding, and adds ever-expanding perspectives, in depth and number; splitting our perception, and in so doing, seemingly irrationally, creates yet more one-ness, with all that ever was, is and will ever be, streching across the infinite, inunderstood concept of everything, percievable and not.
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Anonymous #2 |
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I have asperger's and I can share a little bit about my experiences with a few different psychadelic substances:
1.)Weed- At first, weed seemed to negate all the effects of my asperger's. Either that, or it made the people who I was "partaking" with less aware of my condition. I felt more comfortable in social groups and less afraid to speak my mind. I do still "check out" often and bring the conversation back to my own topics (which is a common trait of aspies). After several years of use, I began having trouble with anxiety and panic attacks (another symptom common with aspies). This became more manageable by cutting down on my consumption and working with my therapist to learn coping skills with anxiety. 2.)Mushrooms- What a demon..... My first experience was lovely. Colors seemed brighter, everything seemeed strange and funny, and I could laugh non-stop for hours. Every experience after that was HELL. I became hyper-aware of my aspie traits. I became EXTREMELY paranoid and anxious to the point of making myself sick. Even on extremely low doses I found myself "traveling" and the trip was very uncomfortable. Aspies often get overwhelmed by too much stimulation and Mushrooms was WAAAAAAYYYYYY too much stimulation for me to handle. On a bad trip, I couldn't look anyone in the face. I couldn't put sentances together. I would see screaming faces coming at me that werent' there. Strange (seemingly random) patterns appreared to be engraved on every surface (even my skin!). Some trips hit me so hard that I would collapse (even though I was on a VERY low dose). I didn't want to be around anyone, and if I was around anyone, they had to speak slowly and softly to me otherwise I felt very afraid. I do not recommend mushrooms for Aspies unless you intend to tackle your darkest inner demons. 3.)MDMA- LOVE LOVE LOVE! MDMA stopped all the constant mental filtering I have to do on a minute-by-minute basis. I am able to connect with people on a deep and meaningful level without having to constantly self-monitor. I don't feel awkward in a room filled with strangers (this is almost UNHEARD of amongst aspies). The only negative effects I feel come in the 2-3 days after coming down. The depletion of serotonin after the come-down is rough.... If you struggle with depression, make sure your meds are well controlled. I highly recommend taking some 5HTP and B-12 vitamins when you feel yourself coming down. It will help cushion the fall. Continiue to take them for the next couple of days to help bring your brain chemistry back to normal. Watch your mood! I don't recommend doing MDMA more than once a month (even less if possible) simply because of the physical toll of the come-down.Oh! and don't forget to stay hydrated  I hope this helps! Be responsible, do your research, and have fun!
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PsychoKinesiS Alien Resources Manager Registered: 08/05/11 Posts: 1,444 Last seen: 7 years, 1 month |
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I have undiagnosed aspergers and I've found that ecstasy has tremendous benefits for my aspergers and lsd makes it even worse. When I'm on ecstasy, all my social barriers are lifted, I make friends, al my OCD goes away, and all my stress goes away. When I'm on LSD, I have even more social barriers than before, I cannot even think straight should I be given the chance to socialize, I feel fear, I go even deeper into my obsessive activities, and I don't make friends - sometimes I even lose them. It is said that lsd brings out latent mental disorders, so this probably isn't the one for me - I might be going back to ecstasy.
Edited by PsychoKinesiS (05/28/14 06:29 AM)
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ThorAxe1 Cunning Linguist  Registered: 08/09/08 Posts: 306 Loc: Southwest NJ Last seen: 1 year, 7 months |
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I have yet to be professionally diagnosed, but I feel like I have done enough research to at least have a reasonable suspicion that I may have aspergers/autism.
I am 21 years old. I had my first psychedelic experience with psilocybin when I was 17. I found it to be a remarkable tool for self-discovery, in the sense that it gave me this ability to understand pure objective truth about myself. I have never been harsher on myself as a person than in the midst of a psychedelic experience. From age 17 until now I have experimented with all manner of psychedelic tryptamines and phenethylamines. I found the phenethylamines were not nearly as therapeutic as the more classic tryptamines. It wasn't until just very recently, however, that I had discovered an absolute miracle treatment. I think that there is something very special about 4-aco-dmt. After my first experiment with this substance (7/10/14), I knew that I needed to chase this phenomenon that I had experienced. For the next 3 days after that I had kept a consistent regiment of 4-aco-dmt, and I felt like it was really doing some amazing things upstairs. I found myself in a sort of state where I was rethinking my entire life. Now of course I am sure this is how a lot of people have felt on psychedelics. But because I had been taking it daily (sometimes twice daily), the more typical psychedelic effects had mostly gone and it felt like I had broken through to some other spectrum of effects. Rather than sitting and gazing at amazing geometric patterns, I was harnessing the vibrational energy that I was feeling. Pacing my house, keeping a train of productive thought, writing down ideas and plans. Cleaning/reorganizing the house. Talking to god and thanking the universe for everything there is. I have been more productive in the past 4 days than I have in the past 4 YEARS. I found myself communicating with elegance, where for as long as I can remember I have struggled tremendously with communicating on a very basic level. I hope to further study the effects of consistent ingestion of such substances (4-aco-dmt in particular though). I believe that quite possibly the effects we associate with ingestion of psychedelics is a sort of transitional phase between normal-state consciousness and this amazing state that I had been in for the past 4 days. I really can't describe it well enough. It felt absolutely magical. Like I could accomplish absolutely anything. And not in an egotistical sense, but in that I felt like I had the ambition and drive and love and forethought to really organize everything around me better than I ever have been able to. That's something I have always really struggled with in the past. Being motivated to even do anything. The problems I encounter whilst sober are really hard to deal with as far as maintaining focus and motivation toward a given goal. Interacting with people, comprehending social situations, having the will to do anything are all things I really struggle with in my sober state.
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Icyus KavitārkikasiṃHa Registered: 11/07/13 Posts: 3,502 Loc: Inbetween. Last seen: 8 years, 3 months |
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I have an understanding that the (in my expereance) autism I have got manifests as a selfdefensive mechanism when I am not completly open with the self.
Psychedellics made me open myself to myself, and all my burried emotions, in this process making me able to emphazise and feel the feelings of others.. making me a rather good communicator at times.. Due to this, any 'symptoms' of that autism is no longer present, even though I am rather a weird person, one simply cant put their finger on what that is.. -------------------- And thus begins the reverse-fusing of our one-dimentional understanding, and adds ever-expanding perspectives, in depth and number; splitting our perception, and in so doing, seemingly irrationally, creates yet more one-ness, with all that ever was, is and will ever be, streching across the infinite, inunderstood concept of everything, percievable and not.
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ThorAxe1 Cunning Linguist Registered: 08/09/08 Posts: 306 Loc: Southwest NJ Last seen: 1 year, 7 months |
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Quote: I have similar sentiments. Though for me with most other psychedelics the grasp on empathy, connection to other people and overall sense of well-being never really stuck past the initial psychedelic effects. This is my second day off of the 4-day daily 4-aco-dmt regiment and I have definitely maintained most of the well-being aspect. I am still able to communicate 1000% better than normally. The only thing that has changed really is the energy and motivation thing. That's what I struggle with the most, really. Both because of motivation, but also because of self-doubt and the lack of the feeling that I can tackle anything that I want to do given the right internal/external organization. My experience of this past week has lead me to develop a theory that the psychedelic effects of such substances are symptoms of the crossing of a threshold. Kind of like a mid-state between normal consciousness and this enhanced consciousness I have experienced. I have read a lot about Terence McKenna's ideas about the stoned ape theory involving the evolution of visual acuity and critical thinking with the introduction of psilocybin mushrooms into the diet. I definitely think that long-term built-up doses of psychedelics accumulated in the blood does some really amazing things.
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Palmer Eldritch Stranger Registered: 10/28/14 Posts: 1 Last seen: 9 years, 5 months |
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Hi guys,
I really enjoyed reading this and wanted to make an account to throw my thoughts onto the chain, just in case someone else Googles their way to this post. I'm 32 years old, I have some kind of autism spectrum disorder. I was diagnosed in my 20s after fucking up my (rather cushy and easy) life yet again due to anxiety, emotional instability, lack of agency and poor executive function. At this time, it's been two or three years since I've been in the care of a psychologist. I self-medicate like a fiend. I smoke pot compulsively, I eat (supposed) MDMA, I snort coke and I have been getting compulsively shitty drunk, too. The more anxious, isolated or doomed I am feeling on any given day, the more likely I am to raid my little inventory of drugs for something. I also use really good moods as another excuse to turn up. I've mostly sworn off pharmaceuticals. My experiments with Adderall were a complete fucking disaster, making me twice as arrogant and obsessive, not to mention paranoid, with an even more fucked up sleep cycle. Even moderate doses of benzos get me disinhibited enough to be more likely to say or do something that generates negative attention. Not conducive to my mission of stealth. SSRIs made me not recognize myself (did break me out of the brief period of punching myself in the face during anxious fits, though) and I think I only took them for a month. Bupropion dulled my anxiety a bit, but I stopped taking it after I broke down crying and told my roommate that I wanted to kill myself. Those of you who are referring to Aspergers as an advantage, you could be correct in a manner of speaking, but you would have to be really lucky in terms of your environment in order for it to manifest as an overall advantage. Many times, I've allowed myself the hubris of thinking that I've finally turned a corner and can let my guard down, express myself and relax around people. That's never going to be the case. "Compensating" for autism involves hiding the nervousness and alienness of my facial expressions, the tension in my body and the abstractness of my mind when I am around people. I've been to lots of high points in terms of interpersonal comfort over the years, but I'm always just a few mood swings, anxious episodes or bad decisions away from being cast back out into solitary, tortured reflection. I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news, it's just that the only productive way to think about coping with autism is existential. One doesn't triumph over the symptoms and then walk away from the scene. That massive disclaimer was necessary because I've been lonely, anxious and depressed lately. However, I had lived in that state of mind uninterrupted until I first tripped on LSD about 10 years ago. I found myself following a blueprint to reconstruct love for myself. I was able to almost literally "zoom out" of the first person experiences of trauma and frustration that I was obsessing over and start thinking about my limitless, effortless talents. The therapeutic effects lasted for weeks, possibly months, after that first trip. I've taken acid dozens of times since then, and on a much smaller scale I almost always have similar experiences. The dominant attribute of the trip is wonder at the spectacular complexities of human life. Another thing that worked wonders was homemade ayahuasca. One time, a DMT trip that involved the strongest batch I ever brewed of the potion took me to a completely internal place (after projectile vomiting all over someone's living room and "passing out" face down on their couch) where I had an hours-long discussion with a hyper-rational, authoritative voice that encouraged me to solve my problems and believe in myself. I remembered almost everything when I sobered up, and to this day I still live by some of the insights I gained from that. To be honest, shrooms have been really euphoric and helpful at times but have also caused me to turn into a frightening psychotic mess more than once. I blame the events of the trip more than the drug itself, but it's really not in the same category in terms of theraputic value. I've avoided most of the more serious consequences of drug experimentation/addiction, but this most recent bout with apathy and heedlessness might be leading me into my Infinite Jest moment after all. I might still get out of my head and stay out long enough to make a lasting impact somewhere. If I had some LSD, I would listen to some music, feel all of this fear and tension slowly dissolve out of my body, and later shake my head ruefully about how depressed I had been a few days prior.
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cr00kie Stranger Registered: 02/17/15 Posts: 1 Last seen: 9 years, 1 month |
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SOO.
Since i wasn't sure how to post i just replied to a comment. i was diagnosed aspie when i was 14 (i'm nearly 21 now) and i fucking loved finding this thread. this is amazing. and i'm happy to see i'm not the first, nor the only one curious about this and others experiences. so. while i've never done LSD, i have done a great deal of pharmaceuticals and shrooms. the pharmaceutical experiences varied drastically. very drastically lol. i live in wa and am an MMJ patient and i find cannabis to be the best daily treatment with psilocybin as a bi-yearly treatment. pharms - klonopin, dextromethorphan, adderall, vyvanse, ritalin, percocet klonopin - i took this one before school. i believe it was a 5/10mg. i do not recall the first four hours of the school day, the remainder is a black fuzzy splotch in my memory. dextromethorphan - about 40mg? dont recall. this made me very anxious in a familiar way. smoked lots of cigs, no noted paranoia, i did lots of talking to myself in my head. adderall - 28mg i became an info sponge like another member noted on cannabis, i used this regularly. i became a cleaning/organizational machine, i get a lot of things done, i tend to color-code things etc. i rearranged my entire room, closet, and did eighteen billion loads of laundry folding them. normal person behavior maybe? hahhaha vyvanse - 30mg (not sure of exactness, was the mid dosage pill) a lot like adderall, less tweaky feeling and more mild/calming/soothing. i had ultimate clarity, and i was a lot more collected than on adderall. ritalin/methylin - 100-120mg - this was an interesting one. i cocooned up on the couch with a few ages of paper, about eight pens and a movie playing. i drew for about 8 hours. the first hour and a half was the movie and then the remaining 6 and a half hours were the movie beginning song looped on the play screen. i drew three pictures in incredible detail that i'd never been able to accomplish, i used all of the pens, and each stroke felt like it was perfectly calculated. percocet - 30mg - i used this frequently, for recreation. it often made me creative, highly empathetic, and very very loving. things i dont typically feel on a day to day basis with the exception of creativity. i suffered no withdrawals or withdrawal like symptoms after stopping use abruptly after four months of abusing it regularly. psilocybin(1st trip out of many), i felt was an incredible experience each time i dabbled into that other world where i was finally an unflawed human. everything felt 3-d, and the colors were absolutely brilliant. i smiled the whole time, had a deep mind-talk with the face that fell out of my ceiling, saw my fingers stretch to 8in long to grasp the bowl piece, and as another comment-er stated I also suffered virtually no depression or anxiety for about a month or so afterwards. i try and do them every so often for this very reason. my first sativa experience was terrible though. i was so stoned out of my gourd i got lost in costco, my very first time i ever being in costco. i was 13 or 14 at this time, and i kept smoking bowl after bowl because i wasn't feeling stoned and then before you know it i'm going to get deodorant in costco and all the lights are getting intensely bright and all the sounds are bouncing around in my head. cacophony is very suiting in regards as to how it all sounded. it was a very uncomfortable experience and at this time i didn't know there was a difference between sativa and indica, nor had i realized that what i smoked was sativa, i thought it had been laced weed for years until someone pointed out that smokers with low tolerances who smoke a lot of sativa at once will suffer symptoms that mirrored mine to a T. lol that got long. also i'd love to hear others correspondences (or just from other people who were "diagnosed" with aspergers) via e-mail at skeetskeetmofukka@yahoo.com please title it "shroomery" so i can search infrequently and find it since i get a lot of junk emails. thanks!
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catterpillar Stranger Registered: 02/24/14 Posts: 58 Last seen: 7 years, 11 months |
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I have a friend who is fairly high on the autism spectrum. They were using meth and heroin regularly (though not addicted) to cope with various things. Anyway due to legal issues they had to stop using. Turns out however that shrooms don't show up on the drug tests. So I gave them some to experiment with.
Anyway they had previously taken various psychedelics, including shrooms, but never had any kind of hallucinations or visuals. Apparently not hallucinating is common in autistic people. So my friend basically took very large amounts of the ones I gave them. First time 2 full handfuls and after that 2 or 3 handfuls at a time. This resulted in them having their first closed-eye visuals ever. It also resulted in their autism traits deepening in a way they found pleasant. They also at one stage purged for the first time. A few weeks on and they seem to have decided not to go back to other drugs. They are also becoming more autistic, but this I suspect is related to a lot of current life factors and possibly age.
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Chesire-C Stranger Registered: 12/05/16 Posts: 1 Last seen: 7 years, 4 months |
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This is interesting. I have started to doubt I might have some level of Asperger syndrome. Especially it has been difficult to start working like grown ups and focus and some social situations are difficult like eye contact. Im also really passionate of things that Im interested in. Anyway.. I took mushrooms when I was in Indonesia surfing a few years ago. I was laying at a beach with my friends and had a nice trip after all (the beginning was a bit.. i had to just let go and then it was allright). After the trip I felt really connected to everybody and had no trouble at all meeting all kinds of people, it was great. I really enjoyed the connected feeling. I think that the effect lasted for afew months. I have also tried to find other ways like meditating to feel good. But I believe that mushrooms really can help Aspergers syndrome. Although I dont have any diagnose so basically Im just guessing and talking about my own assumptions.. I havent took any psychedelics since but I would like to. Also Im interested if there are more and more studies about it.
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Alyssa consecrated woman ✝️  Registered: 11/25/14 Posts: 1,531 Last seen: 2 months, 11 days |
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I've been diagnosed with Asperger's. Use of psychedelics in heroic doses (Terence's phrase for stupendously large amounts) has enlightened me. I used to live in a shell reality, now I see the divine truth of life and the universe. I don't think I ever would have gotten there without starting from the Asperger's reality, which taught me logic and reason as it is similar to thinking like a computer.
-------------------- I'm Alyssa. I'm consecrated to the Immaculate Heart. I don't want her to have to look at adultery to save my privileged living cells, so please keep it PG-13.
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Crashexx Stranger Registered: 10/08/21 Posts: 9 Last seen: 1 year, 2 months |
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Very interesting read, thanks to all for sharing. Fascinating how perception and terminology have changed within 10 years.
Self diagnosed ASD, 41 yo. Funny reading about weed = heroin, hits a little close to home. I think I use it to dampen the anxiety, currently every day, and when I decided to try one day without it I quickly ended up crying because something in my kitchen was smelling bad. Before my diagnosis I just thought of myself as weird. Depression and anxiety almost made me kill myself during my teen years, luckily drugs were there and made me curious enough to want to try them all before I die. (I never tried them all, but also I stayed alive and learned to cope with my weirdness in creative ways) Shrooms were a life saver - first experience with 16. They were mean as heck, in a pranky sort of way, forcing me to face my fears, and then sorted my brain so well. No more anxiety, no more depression. I settled, stopped taking drugs, had a child, fast forward: my relationship to child's father is not really what it should be - us ASD'ers are prone to ending up in abusive relationships. Depression and anxiety creep back and I am having a hard time remaining functional. Teenage child does some interwebz research and suggests microdosing mushrooms. Guess what, they do the trick - at first I just become more relaxed and functional. And then, they are mean as heck yet again, in a subversive and well-meaning kind of way, initiating a process that eventually gets me out of the relationship and back to who I used to be: open-minded, curious, enjoying the experience of my life. And realizing it was ASD all along: the problems with eye contact, social anxiety, odd movement, executive dysfunction, hyperlexia ... list goes on. It's a lot of mind-blowing stuff to realize, and the last years have been quite the trip. Any fellow neurodivergent folk in here who would like to exchange experiences?
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ashfiken TotalCrazyasshole Registered: 09/06/06 Posts: 3,198 Loc: SCranton Last seen: 17 hours, 48 minutes |
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First of all bless you and your trip thru life I'm so glad you found this place, and have found stability thru conscientious research and use of mushrooms to re center yourself and your mind.
My wife is jusy high anxiety w panic attacks, mostly from trauma but i think she is jus high strung kinda gal anyway. Quite different from your lifelong issue but the same in many ways I'm sure. We have began over the past year to treat her anxiety with psyches. She had a terrible car accident about 3 months ago and before that we had gone MONTHS without a panic attack, still anxiety but no attack. Now since the wreck they have came about again, esp during her time of month. Anyway the accident was in the rain, so now when she has to drive to work in the rain it's a guaranteed panic attack. I'm hoping to pick up some micro dosing soon to start her back. Hopefully onto more recovery as we had gotten up to stronger doses particularly of lsd, that she could handle and use to both enjoy herself and at times be brutalized by the things it unlocks. Not sure why I shared all this but it feels good always hearing others who have learned to maintain and recover from emotional and physical damage incurred from any and all the things humans get beaten down by before they can find the power they had in themselves all along. Cheers Ps anybody who knows of other at home help for someone with anxiety driving in the rain lemme know -------------------- hmm... "I'm naked and fearless... And my fear is naked." "life isn't worth living without the threat of death" "I got my plans in a ziploc bag, let's see how unproductive we can be" "nobody lives their lives fully except for bull fighters" My Trade List Edited by ashfiken (10/11/21 05:46 PM)
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