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Registered: 02/26/01
Posts: 9,134
He who pies
    #1076482 - 11/22/02 11:56 AM (15 years, 8 months ago)

On February 4, 1998, Belgian anarchist Noel Godin cemented forever his place as a legend in the worldwide struggle against evil and oppression. Godin masterminded the flawlessly executed Bill Gates pie ambush in Brussels, with at least four cream pies pummeling the Microsoft chairman directly in the face as he entered a government building to attend a formal reception with Flemish dignitaries. The sight of the world's richest man smothered in whipped goo, looking just like one of those fat, haughty high-society ladies caught in the crossfire of the Three Stooges, was many a subversive's dream vision brought deliciously to life.

Although this was the first of his pastry onslaughts ever to achieve mass notoriety in the United States, Godin has been throwing pies at the rich and pompous for nearly thirty years in Europe, where he is renowned as "L'Entarteur" ("he who pies"). Godin happily labels himself a terrorist -- a "comical terrorist" -- and he carries with him the requisite radical ideology and set of unconditional demands: "Everything is awful around us, so let's try to have fun," he says.

"I flan people in the spirit of the abusive letters the Dadaists sent to worthless celebrities," Godin said. "The aim is always to denounce them in some way. I do not want to slide into facile sensationalism. Every victim has to be thoroughly justified."

Which brings us to Bill Gates. The software emperor has occupied a place of honor on Godin's wish list for some time, and L'Entarteur offered the following explanation when the Netly News asked why Gates deserved the humiliation of a sugary sortie:

"Because in a way he is the master of the world, and then because he's offering his intelligence, his sharpened imagination and his power to the governments and to the world as it is today -- that is to say gloomy, unjust and nauseating," Godin said. "He could have been a utopist, but he prefers being the lackey of the establishment. His power is effective and bigger than that of the leaders of the governments, who are only many-colored servants. So Bill Gates was at the top of our lists of victims. The attack against him is symbolic, it's against hierarchical power itself."

As Gates entered the elegant Le Concert Noble for his meeting, Godin's squad let fly with a total of 25 pies. Godin reports that four pies hit the victim right in the kisser. Gates's body guards were too stunned to even draw their weapons. With his glasses opaque and half-cocked, and creamy white filling sputtering from his lips, the crustfallen CEO was whisked away to a private room by his disheveled entourage. He soon emerged spic and span, with a shaky smile failing to mask his obvious indignation.

Godin says that the first five seconds after a pie attack can lay bare the victim's true inner character, according to his or her reaction. "Accurately delivered, a cream pie is an uncannily precise barometer of human nature," he has noted.

For example, film director Jean-Luc Godard sportingly laughed it off after Godin creamed him, going so far as to defend the pieman from being banned for life from the Cannes Film Festival. On the other hand, Godin's arch nemesis, philosopher Bernard-Henri Levy, has responded to several pie assaults by hitting Godin in the face -- with his fists.

And what depths of Gates's personality did his reaction reveal? One news report stated that Gates stood paralyzed immediately after getting plastered, blank and emotionless, "as if bolted to the ground." Godin expressed disappointment at Gates's lack of any discernible human emotion with a face full of pie, musing that "He had a kind of promotional smile that became a kind of smile made of sand..."

It wasn't until he got nice and cleaned up that Gates came up with some attempt at witticism, in a quip possibly scripted by his handlers. "The worst part was that the pies were not very tasty," he said. (Ho, ho, ho... that's funny, Bill, because the worst part about Microsoft is that your software is not very good.)


Don't worry, B. Caapi

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Re: He who pies [Re: Xlea321]
    #1076496 - 11/22/02 12:08 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

thats just funny


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Re: He who pies [Re: Xlea321]
    #1076594 - 11/22/02 12:43 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

In reply to:

looking just like one of those fat, haughty high-society ladies caught in the crossfire of the Three Stooges

Bill Gates was quoted as saying "Well ! I NEVER ! "


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Re: He who pies [Re: Xlea321]
    #1077442 - 11/22/02 06:51 PM (15 years, 8 months ago)

In reply to:

The worst part was that the pies were not very tasty," he said. Ho, ho, ho... that's funny, Bill, because the worst part about Microsoft is that your software is not very good.

thats funny. i've never heard of this guy, but he sure beats a sniper

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