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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Food Network Personalities
#10760788 - 07/29/09 09:33 AM (14 years, 6 months ago) |
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Since this is a drug-related message board with a food section -- I know some of you fuckers like to get high and stare at the Food Network. So, I'm intrigued -- who are your favorite/least favorite (you can post why if you'd like).
Favorite: 1. Alton Brown (Good Eats)- At first I hated him. He's fucking nerdy, and talks all weird, and has horribly lame skits in his show. But it's just SOOOOO goddamn educational. Not only do I get to learn a food's history, full of interesting & fun facts, but he teaches me how to make something with it too -- badass.
2. Bobby Flay (throwdown & Boy meets Grill)- He's moderately entertaining, but always cooks the kind of shit I wanna sink my teeth into. On throwdown it's always a treat to see the difference between the traditional dish (his competitors), and the dish he prepares, which typically just a version you'd find in a 5-star restaraunt. Plus, his wife is hot 
3. Giada D'laurentes- 
Least Favorite: 1. Barefoot Contessa Lady- I just don't like the way she talks. It's too quiet/reserved/calm. She makes chron food & can throw a nice dinner party, but that's not for me (obviously, as I'm not in her target market).
2. Guy Fieri- This one really urks me. I like guy's personality, and I like the food he makes (mmmm guy food), but all his gawdy jewelry just makes me hate him. I still watch his shows, but I have to try really hard not to get distracted by all the unnecessary bling.
3. Rachel Ray- Too over the top for me. Her voice + Her verbage = my headache.
Favorite shows: -Iron Chef America: It's continual food preperation for nearly an hour. Definitely a stoner's dream show. -Throwdown with Bobby Flay: Entertaining! -Unwrapped: It's like Discovery's "How It's Made", but with food! -Good Eats: For when I want to actually learn something
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ShockValue
Because, ShockValue.


Registered: 11/18/08
Posts: 5,097
Loc: Tipping at windmills.
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Re: Food Network Personalities [Re: memes]
#10761016 - 07/29/09 10:33 AM (14 years, 6 months ago) |
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1: Good eats, or anything with Alton Brown (Feasting on Asphalt, etc). Quirky and fun + good lookin food. I make his pancake recipe almost every weekend. 2: Nigella Lawson. I don't care what she's making. I want to eat it. (I'd like to eat her food too.) 3: Mario Batali: Keeps it real and honest. I like that.
Legasse and Flay both annoy me. Rachel Ray annoys me too, but for some reason my brain is mis-wired and I think she's really attractive <shrug>
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- When we built temples to view the stars, we knew about all 2000 of them.
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jewunit
Brutal!

Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 34,264
Loc: Ohio
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Re: Food Network Personalities [Re: memes]
#10761401 - 07/29/09 11:58 AM (14 years, 6 months ago) |
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Alton Brown. Good Eats is the only show I watch on there now really. Obviously Giada's fucking hot but I have an internet connection so I don't have to watch her boring ass.
Almost everyone else is sucks. There are some okay people. Bobby Flay is a giant douche, Guy Fieri as well. That half homemade bitch is annoying, same with Rachel Ray.
And Unwrapped is fucking stupid. I don't see the value in that or How It's Made.
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Chespirito
Stranger



Registered: 02/13/09
Posts: 3,259
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Re: Food Network Personalities [Re: memes]
#10761627 - 07/29/09 12:40 PM (14 years, 6 months ago) |
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Honestly I dont find Giada sexy, maybe if her mouth wasn't past the point of being even comically over sized.
Alton Brown for food knowledge, though his cooking and recipes are subpar compared to the other hosts.
Mario Batali by a long shot for food, however they don't seem to show any of his shows anymore.
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legallyhomeless
mooch


Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 4,051
Loc: EZRA for the Refuge
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Re: Food Network Personalities [Re: Chespirito]
#10762403 - 07/29/09 03:00 PM (14 years, 5 months ago) |
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I hate that fake bitch Paula 'Yall.
HEY! Its me yall paulie dean. Dont yall just loooove me? MmmmmMmm thats good
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Madtowntripper
Sun-Beams out of Cucumbers



Registered: 03/06/03
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i like mario batali.
and alton brown.
and the iron chef host.
-------------------- After one comes, through contact with it's administrators, no longer to cherish greatly the law as a remedy in abuses, then the bottle becomes a sovereign means of direct action. If you cannot throw it at least you can always drink out of it. - Ernest Hemingway If it is life that you feel you are missing I can tell you where to find it. In the law courts, in business, in government. There is nothing occurring in the streets. Nothing but a dumbshow composed of the helpless and the impotent. -Cormac MacCarthy He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God. - Aeschylus
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soochi
Chef


Registered: 08/13/02
Posts: 2,420
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Re: Food Network Personalities [Re: memes]
#10770934 - 07/30/09 08:50 PM (14 years, 5 months ago) |
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You know Alton should really divorce himself from Food Tv and go on public broadcasting or HD channels. He's really the only thing I watch on that channel aside from reruns of the original Iron Chef. Food Network as a whole sucks major balls. They should just move all of their programming onto Lifetime, since they obviously think 90% of the people that watch their station are lonely housewives.
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jewunit
Brutal!

Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 34,264
Loc: Ohio
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Re: Food Network Personalities [Re: soochi]
#10771108 - 07/30/09 09:30 PM (14 years, 5 months ago) |
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Or lonely dudes with too much estrogen who make up for it with cheesy grilling.
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WorldWideWInton
Student



Registered: 03/12/09
Posts: 4,716
Loc: unknown
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Re: Food Network Personalities [Re: memes]
#10771689 - 07/30/09 11:28 PM (14 years, 5 months ago) |
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favs... rachel ray, idk why its embarissing alton brown
least favs... emeril, he once said that he invented putenesca sauce...
-------------------- My past post are not necessarily reflections of my current opinions.
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GabbaDj
BTH



Registered: 04/08/01
Posts: 19,679
Loc: By The Lake
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Re: Food Network Personalities [Re: memes]
#10771812 - 07/30/09 11:49 PM (14 years, 5 months ago) |
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1) Two Fat Ladies.
2) Diners Drive-ins and Dives... I LOVE it..
3) Malto Mario has got to be the best cooking live show ever.
-------------------- GabbaDj FAMM.ORG
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Shroomgobbler
Beginner


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Re: Food Network Personalities [Re: GabbaDj]
#10791945 - 08/03/09 12:33 PM (14 years, 5 months ago) |
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I can't stand pretty much the whole channel and its actors, mostly because I have to work in the industry. Now all the sudden everyone thinks they're a foodie, but most can't properly cook an over easy egg. The food network should have a disclaimer, warning people "If you like to cook, this channel is not what the restaraunt business is like. You don't get to make something new & 'cool' every day, be creative/artistic, or work at your own pace."
Thanks to the popularity of that channel, it seems the entire workforce is a bunch of losers who think putting dill & capers in potato salad makes up for things like, oh, not cooking the potatoes properly. No, they're not "al-dente" you idiot, they're fucking raw.
And high-end fine dining is but a slim margin of the industry, really just a niche, yet the food channel seems to have people convinced it's the only way to go. Where am I going to find good, solid cooks who still find pleasure in making food for the every-day Joe? They're exceedingly rare. Most Americans won't pay for duck confit, slow-cooked pork bellies or food garnished with micro greens and fancy-cut bell peppers... but thats the only kinda stuff people want to cook these days. Down with the Food Network!
Ok, rant over .
-------------------- Light the doobie till it glows like a ruby After which they couldn't find the villain like Scooby.
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ShockValue
Because, ShockValue.


Registered: 11/18/08
Posts: 5,097
Loc: Tipping at windmills.
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Are you suggesting that the food that Sandra Lee, Rachel Ray and Alton Brown make are "high-end" ? Not to mention shows line Diners, Drive Ins and Dives, etc..
I'll admit, there is some pretentious crap on that channel, but a few of the shows there have actually taught me a thing or 2 (like the value of being able to make a simple omlette)
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- When we built temples to view the stars, we knew about all 2000 of them.
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GabbaDj
BTH



Registered: 04/08/01
Posts: 19,679
Loc: By The Lake
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Re: Food Network Personalities [Re: ShockValue]
#10795513 - 08/03/09 10:08 PM (14 years, 5 months ago) |
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Anyone remember Two Fat Ladies?
-------------------- GabbaDj FAMM.ORG
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caphillkid
Coquus Boleti

Registered: 10/09/08
Posts: 4,666
Loc: Jet City
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Re: Food Network Personalities [Re: GabbaDj]
#10805657 - 08/05/09 02:34 PM (14 years, 5 months ago) |
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Most of the Food Networks stars are just there for show, like Giada and Sandra Lee. Notice how these two women almost never taste anything as they are cooking, which is about as unprofessional as it gets. Giada is the worst, she is there for her boobs, nothing more. She'll cook a dish, never taste at any of the steps along the way, and everytime she is like, "mmmm that is amazing." Most of the Food Networks celebs couldn't run a restaurant, let alone work the line. Food Network has a few legit chefs, like Flay, but most of the real talent can be found on PBS.
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