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OfflineJackofSpades
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Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating *DELETED*
    #10732651 - 07/24/09 02:26 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Post deleted by JackofSpades

Reason for deletion: fuck it



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If you're frightened of dying and  you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth.


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Offlinelearningtofly
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: JackofSpades]
    #10732667 - 07/24/09 02:28 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

yes dude, vicodin + sex = no go. chill out


a friend of mine recently tried having sex on vicodin and said it was the dumbest idea cuz he couldnt feel anything and it was horrible

you'll be fine


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Offlinekriminalelement
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: JackofSpades]
    #10732669 - 07/24/09 02:28 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

It takes a fucking porn star to get an erection on vicodin. Don't sweat it. Wait a week until it's all out of your system.


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While there is a lower class, I am in it
While there is a criminal element, I am of it
While there is a soul in prison, I am not free.

Eugene V Debs


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OfflineJackofSpades
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: kriminalelement]
    #10732679 - 07/24/09 02:29 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

yeah the thing is like. I popped 1 1/2 around 2 maybe 3?

Then we had sex at like 12:45...I had just taken a motrin right before that too


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If you're frightened of dying and  you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth.


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OfflineDeltron3030
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: JackofSpades]
    #10732682 - 07/24/09 02:30 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Wait to gett off the bonerkillers...i mean painkillers.


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Offlinexeallos
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: JackofSpades]
    #10732693 - 07/24/09 02:31 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Yeah, keep off the alcohol too, you'll probably overdose from the pressure and end up with whiskey dick anyway :tongue:

Get back on a regular diet and exercise regimen and get all that crap out of your system, then you'll be in good shape to fulfill your destiny of pounding the neighbors hot ass into oblivion :rockon:


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Offline13eetleJuice
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: JackofSpades]
    #10732694 - 07/24/09 02:32 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

It's the droogs, mang! Don't worry about it.


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Offlinedwtk
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: Deltron3030]
    #10732701 - 07/24/09 02:33 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

yeap i had the same exact shit happen to me on OC.. no biggie


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OfflineJackofSpades
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: dwtk]
    #10732725 - 07/24/09 02:37 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

the only problem is she leaves the 13 of august....


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If you're frightened of dying and  you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth.


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OfflineTaco Chef
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: JackofSpades]
    #10732740 - 07/24/09 02:38 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

yohimbe is supposed to have the same effect as viagra.


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InvisibleAcidDropper420
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: Taco Chef]
    #10732747 - 07/24/09 02:40 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

ya for sure,opiates KILL sex drive,just ween off them and eat hearty before you get your fuck on.


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OfflinePreparationH
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: AcidDropper420]
    #10732772 - 07/24/09 02:44 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I had this same exact situation happen to me the first time I had sex with my current girl.  My problem was I had gotten condoms from a friend, durex actuallly, and they were too tight I could feel my pulse in my dick.  They were also so thick I couldnt feel shit, i lost that raging boner in less then 5 minutes.  I thought their was something wrong with me untill I told my friend "D" about it and he laughed and said "Yea it's because "P" has a small wang you need to use trojan ultra thins"  Been using them since with nooo problem :smile:


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OfflineJackofSpades
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: PreparationH]
    #10732791 - 07/24/09 02:46 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

New Question:


How Long Should I Wait?

She Leaves on the 13th????

goddamnit this blows...


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If you're frightened of dying and  you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth.


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OfflinePreparationH
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: JackofSpades]
    #10732801 - 07/24/09 02:48 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

where is she going, maybe i missed this part in the op.


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OfflinePlatinum
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: PreparationH]
    #10732807 - 07/24/09 02:49 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Opiates and sex is bitter sweet. When you can get it up, it's fuckin rock solid and you can go for a long time but at the drop of a dime you can go soft and that's that.

As long as your neighbor understands that, everything should be cool. She seems like a cool chick from how she acted when you couldn't perform to your standards. Just don't fuck up again, no pressure. I would rub one out before fucking her tho cuz if you go from losing it to a minuteman... no good. I'd beat it like an hour/hour and a half before.


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OfflineJackofSpades
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: PreparationH]
    #10732810 - 07/24/09 02:49 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

back to college.


--------------------
If you're frightened of dying and  you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth.


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InvisibleSwyfty Swyf
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: JackofSpades]
    #10732865 - 07/24/09 03:01 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Let's see some pics of those big titties!

Yeah dude, everyone's right.

It has everything to do with the vic's and nothing to do with your diet or surgery.

I can usually keep a hard-on, but busting a nut is impossible.

How did you try to pull off faking an orgasm?

Did you have some luke-warm yogurt laying around to throw on her back?


--------------------
If you build it they will shrug.
:shrug:


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OfflinePlatinum
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: Swyfty Swyf]
    #10732892 - 07/24/09 03:08 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I can orgasm w/o cumming. There's a soft spot kind of near your asshole, but a bit closer to your balls. In the grundle area, but closer to your poop chute. If you put pressure there it prevents ejaculation, and actually keeps you hard after you orgasm. It's pretty fuckin sweet. I usually do it when jerkin off so I don't hafta worry about the mess. You may get a couple drops of cum but it stops almost all of it.

As you get better at it, and you know the spot real well you can pretty much stop it all 100% if you time it right. You gotta put the pressure there before the cum starts to travel through the tubes. I don't know the science behind it, my guess would be you're putting pressure on one of the tubes that the cum travels through, preventing it from continuing to the urethra.

It's pretty fuckin sweet, and chicks dig it too.


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OfflinePlatinum
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: Platinum]
    #10732897 - 07/24/09 03:09 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

At first I was a bit embarassed to do it, I thought it was somehow gay or something. But once you get it, you're just like "wow, that's fuckin awesome"


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InvisibleSwyfty Swyf
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: Platinum]
    #10732951 - 07/24/09 03:19 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Dude, you're killing your fucking prostate with that slick trick.

You know you've a dickhole for a reason, Catdaddy, use it.

You're gonna fuck around and get yourself knocked up.


--------------------
If you build it they will shrug.
:shrug:


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Invisiblemarkofthebeast
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: Platinum]
    #10732953 - 07/24/09 03:19 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Platinum said:
I can orgasm w/o cumming. There's a soft spot kind of near your asshole, but a bit closer to your balls. In the grundle area, but closer to your poop chute. If you put pressure there it prevents ejaculation, and actually keeps you hard after you orgasm. It's pretty fuckin sweet. I usually do it when jerkin off so I don't hafta worry about the mess. You may get a couple drops of cum but it stops almost all of it.

As you get better at it, and you know the spot real well you can pretty much stop it all 100% if you time it right. You gotta put the pressure there before the cum starts to travel through the tubes. I don't know the science behind it, my guess would be you're putting pressure on one of the tubes that the cum travels through, preventing it from continuing to the urethra.

It's pretty fuckin sweet, and chicks dig it too.





I'm pretty sure that you would eventually get a juice overload from backing up the pipes like that. Where is it going to go? Back into your balls. Its probably not the healthiest thing to do to yourself, but i dont know the science behind it myself.


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They call me Mark

:penguinmonkey:




Edited by œȾȿȝȴɧʢǥ (ȏɟ/ȿɮ/ɷɖ 68:82 PM)


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Invisibleshadyy
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: JackofSpades]
    #10732959 - 07/24/09 03:20 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

dry smash that shit box


--------------------

ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13


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InvisibleCowgold
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: JackofSpades]
    #10732963 - 07/24/09 03:22 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

JackofSpades said:
Situation: My neighbor who I've been friends with since I moved here in 10th grade (entering second year of college now) is fucking gorgeous. Huge tits, flat stomach, perfect ass, blond hair, beautiful face. There has always been sexual shit between us but shes been dating another friend of mine for over 4 fucking years. However, all of that changed this summer when she tells me she has wanted to break up with him for a few months now and then comes onto me. Awesome. More than awesome. I've literally been in love with this girl since the day I saw her. Out personalities are nearly identical and she's like drop dead fucking hot.

So we spoon and don't do anything for 4 days because she hasn't broken up with him. Then she does it yesterday. Here's the problem. I got my wisdom teeth out 3 days ago.

But anyway I go over to her house last night, she's my neighbor, it couldn't be more perfect. And I start fingering her and making out with her. Then she says fuck me and me being me I'm like alright.


BAD Fucking mistake. We start having sex and immediately I knew it was a bad idea. It just felt like my dick wasn't working. I couldn't get into any rhythm when she was on top of me and I couldn't really feel any pleasure at all. She tells me to do her from behind and I start and its like horrible. I felt tired and out of stamina and I'm not really feeling anything. Keep in mind I'm not using a condom either. I start to go fucking soft and to save myself the embarrassment I just tell her I came.

She obviously knew I didn't and I was too humiliated to say anything so I just crawl into bed. She starts crying and so I have to say something and we start talking about it and I'm like IDK what the fuck happened to me. However, we talk about it and I'm like I think it has to do with the fact that I've had nothing to eat except vicodin and Popsicles for the past 3 days and had 4 wisdom teeth removed. I have no sex drive or stamina and the painkillers kill most feeling.

Long story short we end up laughing it off and making out. I then finger her and give her a more than legit orgasm and because shes cool as shit shes just like whatever it makes sense I shouldn't have asked you to fuck me like this and we can do it when you normal.

The only problem is now when we have sex again theres going to be immense pressure on me. I literally have had 3 meals in 3 days (all being small things of pasta or soup) and I've taken a fair amount of vicodin. I also noticed that I was having a hard as shit time to jerk off the day before. So, I think I'm safe to assume the drugs, little food, and surgery have fucked my sexual/physical ability up, right?

I'm just worried because like this IS my dream girl, what can I do to make sure that next time we have sex its like how its supposed to be and what I'm used to..This girl has also done everything, nearly everything except like anal with her boyfriend so its kind of intimidating, especially after last night.

What should I do for next time? Just get drunk?





I have gotten away with faking a few times.  Vicoden definitely makes it difficult.  Just be straight up and tell her your shit doesn't work on opiates.


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Invisibleshadyy
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: Platinum]
    #10732966 - 07/24/09 03:22 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

and yeah you're prob not doing any good by blocking your cum from coming out
that is what you''re doing ya kno


--------------------

ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13


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InvisibleCowgold
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: Platinum]
    #10732983 - 07/24/09 03:25 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Platinum said:
I can orgasm w/o cumming. There's a soft spot kind of near your asshole, but a bit closer to your balls. In the grundle area, but closer to your poop chute. If you put pressure there it prevents ejaculation, and actually keeps you hard after you orgasm. It's pretty fuckin sweet. I usually do it when jerkin off so I don't hafta worry about the mess. You may get a couple drops of cum but it stops almost all of it.






I thought I was the only one.  :eek:


Wanna hangout?  :gayflag:


--------------------
"You might not be aware of this, but there are a lot of dickheads on the Internet." - D. Wong


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OfflinePreparationH
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: Cowgold]
    #10733024 - 07/24/09 03:31 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Cowgold said:
Quote:

Platinum said:
I can orgasm w/o cumming. There's a soft spot kind of near your asshole, but a bit closer to your balls. In the grundle area, but closer to your poop chute. If you put pressure there it prevents ejaculation, and actually keeps you hard after you orgasm. It's pretty fuckin sweet. I usually do it when jerkin off so I don't hafta worry about the mess. You may get a couple drops of cum but it stops almost all of it.






I thought I was the only one.  :eek:


Wanna hangout?  :gayflag:



dude that can not be good for you.


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Invisibleshadyy
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: Cowgold]
    #10733029 - 07/24/09 03:32 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

next time let it come out...
maybe it will be one huge load
lol that'd be a


--------------------

ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13


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InvisibleSwyfty Swyf
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: shadyy]
    #10733055 - 07/24/09 03:37 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

It'll probably have teeth and hair.

That nut's been incubating. :lol:


--------------------
If you build it they will shrug.
:shrug:


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OfflinePreparationH
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: Swyfty Swyf]
    #10733067 - 07/24/09 03:39 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

:lol:


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Invisibleshadyy
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: Swyfty Swyf]
    #10733087 - 07/24/09 03:44 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

lol hahahaah


--------------------

ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13


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InvisibleTYL3R
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: PreparationH]
    #10733090 - 07/24/09 03:44 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I've read it recirculates or recycles into your bloodstream or something...


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InvisibleCowgold
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: TYL3R]
    #10733115 - 07/24/09 03:48 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

My balls... 



...they just swell up real big.


--------------------
"You might not be aware of this, but there are a lot of dickheads on the Internet." - D. Wong


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Invisibledr_gonz

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. [Re: JackofSpades]
    #10733124 - 07/24/09 03:49 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

.


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OfflinePlatinum
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: dr_gonz]
    #10733136 - 07/24/09 03:51 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I heard it's actually good for you. Some group of people use that technique. And it's not like I stop it all the time. When I fuck I let it blow, and sometimes when I'm goin solo I let it go too.


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InvisibleCowgold
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: dr_gonz]
    #10733145 - 07/24/09 03:52 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

If she's already crying, just go ahead and blame it on her.  :rofl:


--------------------
"You might not be aware of this, but there are a lot of dickheads on the Internet." - D. Wong


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Invisibledr_gonz

Registered: 08/18/03
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. [Re: Cowgold]
    #10733150 - 07/24/09 03:53 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

.


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OfflinePlatinum
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: Cowgold]
    #10733166 - 07/24/09 03:55 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Cowgold said:
If she's already crying, just go ahead and blame it on her.  :rofl:




:lol: sounds like a plan right there!


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OfflinePreparationH
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: dr_gonz]
    #10733171 - 07/24/09 03:55 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

this thread made my younger brother laugh harder than i've seen him laugh in years lol.


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OfflineMichiaelJackson
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: dr_gonz]
    #10733186 - 07/24/09 03:57 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Two solutions.

1. learn to eat pussy.
2. viagra.


--------------------
Wanna hear something depressing? One out of four Shroomerites wants to lock me in a government cage for using a substance they don't like.

Hard to believe, right? Read it for yourself:

http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/7874721#Post7874721


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OfflineJackofSpades
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: PreparationH]
    #10733189 - 07/24/09 03:57 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I suppose some good came out of it?


--------------------
If you're frightened of dying and  you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth.


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OfflinePreparationH
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: JackofSpades]
    #10733198 - 07/24/09 03:58 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

na, nothing came that day. LOL jk but seriously what swyfty said made us rofldacter


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OfflinePlatinum
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: JackofSpades]
    #10733222 - 07/24/09 04:03 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

JackofSpades said:
I suppose some good came out of it?




Don't you read? He faked it.


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OfflinePreparationH
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: Platinum]
    #10733241 - 07/24/09 04:04 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Platinum said:
Quote:

JackofSpades said:
I suppose some good came out of it?




Don't you read? He faked it.



LOL!? dont you read!? he's the OP. talking about how we laughed at this. FAILURE. :lol:

:kingtard:


Edited by PreparationH (07/24/09 04:04 PM)


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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: PreparationH]
    #10733270 - 07/24/09 04:07 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

:facepalm:

Apparently not.


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Offlinelaserpig
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: PreparationH]
    #10733275 - 07/24/09 04:09 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Didn't read anything but the OP but anyway this doesn't even sound like a bad situation. Your "excuse" is completely legitemate, it sounds like she understands that, and it sounds like everything is fine. Just chill out and get your health/energy back up -- I doubt she's going to evaporate away in the next week.


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OfflinePreparationH
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: Platinum]
    #10733285 - 07/24/09 04:10 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Platinum said:
:facepalm:

Apparently not.



all good lol


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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: laserpig]
    #10733288 - 07/24/09 04:11 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

laserpig said:
Didn't read anything but the OP but anyway this doesn't even sound like a bad situation. Your "excuse" is completely legitemate, it sounds like she understands that, and it sounds like everything is fine. Just chill out and get your health/energy back up -- I doubt she's going to evaporate away in the next week.





I'm gunna come steal her, watch the fuck out. I'm known for this.


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OfflineJackofSpades
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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: laserpig]
    #10733462 - 07/24/09 04:44 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

when should we have sex again. i just ate like a real meal 20 minutes ago for the first time in 3 days...think monday sounds like a good day?


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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: JackofSpades]
    #10733478 - 07/24/09 04:45 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

whenever you get a boner and it sticks around for a while. ya know?


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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: JackofSpades]
    #10733486 - 07/24/09 04:47 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

JackofSpades said:
when should we have sex again. i just ate like a real meal 20 minutes ago for the first time in 3 days...think monday sounds like a good day?



Don't even worry about it. If you feel good enough and have the opportunity then go for it, if not then don't.


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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: laserpig]
    #10733498 - 07/24/09 04:49 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

laserpig said:
Quote:

JackofSpades said:
when should we have sex again. i just ate like a real meal 20 minutes ago for the first time in 3 days...think monday sounds like a good day?



Don't even worry about it. If you feel good enough and have the opportunity then go for it, if not then don't.



yeah i think you'll know when are you ready, young samurai.


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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: JackofSpades]
    #10733522 - 07/24/09 04:54 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

dude u fucked the girl of ur dreams
doggystyle no less 
:doggystyle: :doggystyle: :doggystyle: :doggystyle: :doggystyle: :doggystyle: :doggystyle: :doggystyle:
so id say that was very successful
next time it will b 100x better
congrats on ur new notch 2 teh belt
:rockon:


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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: Swyfty Swyf]
    #10733530 - 07/24/09 04:56 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Happens to the best of us dude. Dont worry about it,  keep at it and dry smash her :doggystyle:


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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: JackofSpades]
    #10733579 - 07/24/09 05:07 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

JackofSpades said:
when should we have sex again. i just ate like a real meal 20 minutes ago for the first time in 3 days...think monday sounds like a good day?





dam dont make it such a BIG DEAL. maybe thats why your penor is soft.
dude i had an experience kind of like this in highschool.

i was introduced to my bestfriends friend at school one day.
and she was cute as shit, beyond my league.
well we became friends, but i never even imagined this chick liking me.

well i had a class with her a year later, my confidence was a little better this year.
idk what it was but word began circulating that this fine ass friend of mine was digging me.
needless to say i was stoked beyond comprehension.

she invited me over one morning before school. so of course i came
nervous as hell, making it a big fuckin deal.
we laid on her bed and her cat jumped up by my shoulder, so this dime piece reaches over and acts like shes about to grab the cat, and she takes me by surprise and we start makin out.

well fuckin a week later, she comes to my house and we start making out on my bed, basically fucking, and my 2 best friends are like 5 feet away. they leave and she stays, gets naked, and i just get nervous as hell and couldnt even complete the task! it was BS!!! i was so turned on but my dick wouldnt get hard. I was just extremely nervous because she was well out of my league. (or so i thought)

so just like you, i fingered her and all that good stuff. but i made up for the loss the following week :bananabang:


--------------------


Edited by visions (07/24/09 05:08 PM)


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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: visions]
    #10733588 - 07/24/09 05:10 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

cool. I need to learn to stop giving a fuck about stuff...


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If you're frightened of dying and  you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth.


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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: visions]
    #10733593 - 07/24/09 05:11 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

He's probably dropped his nuts.  So, I'm thinking the problem is obviously opiates.  :tarantino:


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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: Swyfty Swyf]
    #10733599 - 07/24/09 05:14 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

you shouldn't have fucked her just yet . should have kept her wanting to the breaking point. At wich time you'd have a penis again .


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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: JackofSpades]
    #10733686 - 07/24/09 05:31 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

dude, don't sweat it too much... she obviously digs you, and if this really is the girl of your dreams, she definitely understood your situation... opiates are a real bitch... but judging my own experience with wisdom teeth, i would say you might even be able to go for it on sunday... just don't put too much pressure on yourself...


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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: JackofSpades]
    #10733778 - 07/24/09 05:50 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Obviously the opiates. Just dont take any for a few hours before fucking her.


She cried lol.


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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: DeathCompany]
    #10733884 - 07/24/09 06:05 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

ive had such terrible sex that it made a girl cry...if i ever become a comedian that would be a great line...maybe re-phrased but it honestly is fucking hilarious if you think about it


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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: JackofSpades]
    #10733892 - 07/24/09 06:05 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

quite so.


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Invisibledr_gonz

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. [Re: JackofSpades]
    #10733893 - 07/24/09 06:06 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

.


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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: dr_gonz]
    #10733905 - 07/24/09 06:08 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

cant believe that hasn't been asked yet.

Next question, have you tried dry smashing her shitbox?


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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: JackofSpades]
    #10734011 - 07/24/09 06:29 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

JackofSpades said:
ive had such terrible sex that it made a girl cry...if i ever become a comedian that would be a great line...maybe re-phrased but it honestly is fucking hilarious if you think about it



my friend, that is a story worth having :thumbup:


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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: Swyfty Swyf]
    #10734024 - 07/24/09 06:32 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

OP:  Try some erectile dysfunction pills.

Seriously, I know you can get it up all the time normally.  I can too.  But I have no qualms about eating some Cialis before a huge first date, because I get fucking nervous too.  And with that shit, it is a guaranteed fucking rock-hard boner.  It's like an insurance policy on your mind fucking with your dick.

I get them free from a friend who's a drug rep, but I'm sure you can find them someplace

Hell, go take them from your Grandpa.


--------------------
After one comes, through contact with it's administrators, no longer to cherish greatly the law as a remedy in abuses, then the bottle becomes a sovereign means of direct action.  If you cannot throw it at least you can always drink out of it.  - Ernest Hemingway

If it is life that you feel you are missing I can tell you where to find it.  In the law courts, in business, in government.  There is nothing occurring in the streets. Nothing but a dumbshow composed of the helpless and the impotent.    -Cormac MacCarthy

He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.  - Aeschylus


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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: JackofSpades]
    #10734084 - 07/24/09 06:43 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

show her your O face
O! o! O!!


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Re: Holy Fucking Shit That Was Humiliating [Re: JackofSpades]
    #10734141 - 07/24/09 06:54 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

JackofSpades said:
ive had such terrible sex that it made a girl cry...if i ever become a comedian that would be a great line...maybe re-phrased but it honestly is fucking hilarious if you think about it



that is funny, but she was probably crying because she felt unattractive or something dumb like that as a result of you going softy.


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