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After smoking enough weed to get myself into a relaxed state, I turn off my TV, turn my radio to the classical station and sit up in bed.
I cross my legs "indian style", and prepare for the "waves" of thoughts that will crash against my brain.
The familiar first wave comes. It's my "transitional wave". It's as if i've been walking around a pool in a circle all day long, and at this moment I stop, let the full force of the wave strike me, and attempt to stay grounded. Once the transitional phase between normal life and my period of spiritual oneness has passed I calm down.
Now i'm calm. I sit with my eyes half open and try to become aware of my body and my surroundings. I now see life from the viewpoint of my spirit. Now it feels like i'm almost sitting behind my body, looking at my face from the inside of my head. I feel my face relax. I feel the rest of me relax.
Now I wait........................
Then a "habit energy" wave comes at me in an attempt to stop me from meditating. I'm ready for it this time. So many times in the past that habit energy had caught me off guard, and before I knew it I was laying down or something without even realizing it. This time the habit energy will not knock me off concentration. I let that wave hit me, and I keep standing(metaphorically).
More habit energies come at me. I feel them sneak up on me, and try to catch me off guard by taking control of my brain from different angles. I can actually physically feel the thoughts coming to different parts of my brain. Since i've taken a step back, and since i'm seeing things from the viewpoint of my spirit, the habit energies have a much harder time taking me by surprise. I stay back and watch. I also make sure to think good thoughts about myself, and my day tomorrow.
The more I stand my ground, the more the habit energies come at me. Sometimes they knock me off my concentration, and I find myself slumped over and caught up in some stupid thought. Once I realize that they got me, I get right back to it, and keep on taking everything they can throw at me. The more attempts that I thwart, the stronger I get and the better I feel.
Now my body is starting with me. My back is saying "i'm tired of holding you up like this, and i'm ready to rest". This is when it gets a little tougher because I have my habit energies AND my body attempting to knock me down on my back.....literally. This is really my favorite part in a way, because it makes me feel terrific to be able to fight both at the same time.
When it gets close to the time when i'm going to stop, I make a concious decision that i'm going to take on one or two more waves and then i'm done. This point in the session is a lot like running on a treadmill, and telling yourself "ok 5 more minutes", and then when those five minutes are up, you do another five minutes. I take another wave.....BAM, it's hitting me hard, and making my pillow seem deliciously inviting. I feel wonderful once the wave has gone, and then I do it again.
Now i'm ready to finally go to sleep. I CONCIOUSLY decide that now is the time. That's right, my body is going to lay down on MY terms. I lay down, and then go to sleep. I feel great.
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