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Anonymous #1

I really dislike being me...
    #10675326 - 07/14/09 03:31 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

So I came to this shocking realization a few days ago. And that is....I hate myself. Or at least...I really under appreciate myself. Its ironic that I had this realization after having the best 4 days of my life at Rothbury. I feel like I came back from the festival a changed person, and with a fresh state of mind. It was then that I realized I don't like who I am as a person.

I think its been sitting in my sub conscious for a long time, and I think its the reason for my social anxiety and self-consciousness.

The problem is...I'm not sure what to do about it. I love every body but myself. I like to hear people talk, I listen to their stories, and I love to be active and do stuff with friends. Even this past week I've spent probably 90% of my time out of my house with friends. But I'm constantly carrying around this feeling of self-loathing, and I couldn't identify it as that until now.

How can you make yourself like yourself?

Let me list some of the things I hate about myself:
-I space out often..space out of conversations or TV shows or whatever is going on
-I've been experiencing an extreme lack of creativity
-I feel like I just copy others behaviors and mannerisms to get by
-I don't think I'm an interesting person

The list goes on.

But its weird because in general I have a happy disposition. I'm pleasant and courteous to people, I'm even getting along great with a girlfriend at the moment. I don't have anything against anyone....I just don't like being me for some reason.

When I was younger I used to be quite nerdy. I played D&D, Magic the Gathering, watched Star Trek, played MMORPGs......Now I don't do any of that stuff anymore. I keep telling myself I've grown out of it....I feel like I need a new identity, and right now that identity is just drugs and live concerts....typical hippie. I dunno why, but i hate it.

How can I get over my self-loathing....? I want to be happy and confident with who I am.


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OfflineFraggin
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Re: I really dislike being me... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10675780 - 07/14/09 04:48 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
So I came to this shocking realization a few days ago. And that is....I hate myself. Or at least...I really under appreciate myself.





Congratulation, you've completed the most important step of self-realization/awakening/enlightenment. This is the first step to a journey of a thousand miles.

Quote:


I love every body but myself. I like to hear people talk, I listen to their stories, and I love to be active and do stuff with friends.




You may have a co-dependant personality. Your happiness requires the happiness of others. This is a horrible parasitic condition. Learn to rely on yourself for happiness (inside). Don't rely on external stimulus. This is one of the noble truths of buddhism.





How can you make yourself like yourself?
Quote:



Realization that every breath you take is a gift given to you by the creator that unconditionally loves you. Begin to think of the reasons you have to be thankful. Legs, a penis, a mouth, a tongue to communicate. Seriously. Focus on your breath. Take a breath. Thank the God in your heart for it and exhale, repeat. Do this a few hundred times and you will be so happy it will bring tears to your eyes.

Quote:


Let me list some of the things I hate about myself:




How about not. list the things that we/you should like about you instead.

Quote:


How can I get over my self-loathing....? I want to be happy and confident with who I am.




May I suggest a book that I feel has the power to change your life?
The title is called "Be Here Now" by Baba Ram Dass.

Read it with sincerity.


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Invisiblestereolab
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Registered: 06/08/09
Posts: 941
Loc: NY
Re: I really dislike being me... [Re: Fraggin]
    #10675820 - 07/14/09 04:57 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

You sound quite similar to where I was at a year ago.  I liked myself overall, but not that much, and I was aware of the things I disliked (minor depression sometimes, social anxiety around girls I liked, not really talkative around most people).  But then once I became more aware of that stuff and simply wanted to change and tried to focus on my positive aspects, I was able to get rid of most of my negatives.  I still space out all the time, but I never thought that was a bad thing.  It's just part of my personality and I actually like it.  Most people never STFU and stop to really think, spacing out is better than that.

Besides that though, regular exercise and a better diet helped a lot also.  Like you, I was nerdy as a child, but as I aged, I got more into music and drugs (mostly just psychedelics and pot).  I dunno, I think liking music a lot helped me too, because no matter how shitty my day might go, I can always just listen to music in the future.  Maybe look into developing new interests and hobbies or something like that.  Reading is always good because you can read about virtually anything.

So the key is optimism + desire to change + being healthy + being self-aware.  It takes time too, so I'd advise to be patient and try not to dwell on it.


--------------------
Space is
the Place
:aum:


Edited by stereolab (07/14/09 05:03 PM)


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Re: I really dislike being me... [Re: stereolab]
    #10676114 - 07/14/09 05:50 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

:thumbup:

Sage Advice


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