So Thursday I decided to head up to the mountains in New Hampshire to get away from everyone and spend some time to myself. Got a nice spot at a campground on the water and set up my campsite. I had a sack with 5 grams dried cubes, and a few grams of sour diesel for the time.
I took the mushrooms at 1 in the afternoon and decided to go for a walk, while listening to tunes and coming up. I started feeling them within 15 minutes, when usually for me I'll feel them in an hour or so. So I knew I was in for a pretty potent trip already. I had some Anthony Green on while colors started to become more vibrant and the music started to sound distorted. While I was walking, there was this gigantic yellow butterfly that kept following me around, and I could just feel good vibes coming off of it. It was interesting. I sat down on a rock to smoke a bowl real quick and to observe what was going on around me. There looked to be some vines or weird worms pushing themselves out of the ground, and the trees started to melt. When I stood up, I was stumbling over myself so I decided it would be best to be at my campsite while coming up to avoid passing out in the sun and getting attacked by bugs. (which were also kind of tripping me out lol)
So I went back to my site and sat down in a chair and looked around again. There was a pattern over everything that looked like a 6 legged squid tentacle tessellating, and swirling over everything. The trees out in the distance were all moving in waves towards me and it started to get a little overwhelming for me. I started to feel a little sick so I went down to the water to calm down and try to yak, but I couldn't and wound up sitting on all fours staring at the ground moving while people in canoes were watching me from the pond haha.
I decided the bugs were tripping me out too much as I felt they were ALL OVER ME but I couldn't see any of them, so I decided to try and build a fire. I learned that tripping, and trying to build anything, like a fire, is next to impossible. Especially when all you are thinking about is how ego games work, and the fact that you almost seem 'required' to make a fire at a campground. While I was stumbling and trying to remember the method to get this thing going, there were 3 kids standing on a rock above me. I tried to say hi to them but I lost the ability to speak at this point and just gave up on the fire mainly because these kids, to me, knew that something was up and I was acting weird as fuck, and I felt kind of guilty being on drugs around little kids.
I went back into my tent where I laid down, and my entire world dissipated. I started freaking out because I realized I was all alone with nobody that I knew personally within 250 miles from me, and that all the people around me already didn't like me because I was from out of state, and had the best spot in the campground. I didn't know what to do, and at this point was the first time I ever heard audio hallucinations outside my tent. I heard everything from 40 kids yelling outside, to running water faucets, millions of bees, bells ringing, and even when people were talking it was all just "yerrgammerrgamerga" that I could understand. I decided to put some music on to change my mood. Deathcab for Cutie pretty much saved my trip and made me realize so much about myself. At one point I had what felt like gallons of tears coming out of my eyes because I was so happy I cried like I have never before.
After that point I wound up losing my ego and my body completely, and fell into my mind. Everything at that point which happened to me was all pretty personal stuff, but at one time I could sense what I felt was somebody else trying to talk to me telepathically. I never really understood what that feeling was like until now, but I just seemed to know that someone on the other side of the campground was talking to me. After coming back to reality stuffed the wrong way in my sleeping bag, I looked at the time and it was 6 in the afternoon. I left my tent and walked through the woods some more admiring the sheer beauty of nature and laughing to myself because my trip was still going pretty hardcore still. The trees out in the distance looked like a painting, and the sky was red with the tentacle pattern I mentioned earlier, but it looked gigantic and very scary.
I took a walk to the otherside of the campground, and tried to avoid convo with everyone because I just felt like I wouldn't be able to be social since my ego was still pretty shattered. I met up with this guy and his girlfriend who apparently were tripping on mescaline and mushrooms on one of the trails. It was kind of a spontaneous 'we knew that each other was on the same level' thing. They invited me back to their site where they were playing guitars and banging on drums, and had a great time conversing with fellow trippers
When I went back to my site, I was finally able to get the fire going, and look back on the notes I wrote in my journal while I was in my tent freaking out:
"Its very funny how primordial one can become while being alone in the woods with nothing but the fear on his back and a window to the sky. I never realized how many things there are to be afraid of, but here I am encountering them all. I never meant to make anyone feel sorry for all that I have displaced in reality, but how can you prove what my reality really is? I came here to feel free, but I also feel, free, alone, scared, sad, time, blissful, tired, and wanting to know whats going to happen to all of us in the end."
Theres alot more, but its so hard to understand what I wrote that day, so I'll have to figure out what it says sometime lol.
This was definitely the most intense trip I have ever had. I really recommend tripping outside, but always have a sitter with you. At some points I was afraid that something bad was going to happen to me, and I wasn't able to explain my condition if I needed to. A sitter would have been very useful at some points.
Realized this should have went in Trip Reports, but I forgot before I posted. Please move if needed.
-------------------- They call me Mark Edited by œȾȿȝȴɧʢǥ (ȏɟ/ȿɮ/ɷɖ 68:82 PM)
Edited by markofthebeast (07/12/09 11:50 AM)
|