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Erasing Personal History
    #10621962 -

When I read Journey to Ixtan by Carlos Castaneda originally, at the age of 15, I was impressed with one of the ideas presented. It was erasing personal history. Well, over the last few years I seem to have adopted Carlos's book as my personal Boy Scout manual...and to great effect no doubt. I have found myself able to effect personal change in nearly any area using the advice Carlos lays out so sensibly. Erasing personal history is a process where one realizes that just because one has established previous behavior pattern that one doesn't need to continue the pattern. There is often social pressure to repeat behaviors...even negative ones...because that is how others have come to define you. Back in the day I was a fairly serious alcoholic. I heard lecture after lecture from others about how bad this was. When I quit I was aghast that this made these same people uncomfortable because they no longer had me pigeon holed. This phenomenon nearly led me to divorce. Carlos was much more eloquent about the subject.
Quote:
Personal history must be constantly renewed by telling parents, relatives, and friends everything one does. On the other hand, for the warrior who has no
personal history, no explanations are needed; nobody is angry or disillusioned with his acts. And above all, no one pins him down with their thoughts and their expectations.


Lately I have decided to uproot and move away from where I have lived all of my life, and I am moving to strange place...oddly enough in the Sonoran desert where Carlos conceived all of this stuff. I find myself being forced to erase my personal history. I have spent the last several weeks getting rid of 23 years of accumulated possessions. This process alone has erased many of my own conceptions about what constitutes me and my life. Losing these things and getting my belongings down to just what is necessary (for a long trip in a car) to re settle 1800 miles away has made me understand that personal history is not just the societal definitions of the self. The societal definitions are perpetuated by the definitions that I have provided. So, in losing all of this stuff I have begun to lose attachments to who I think that I am.

The next step...which starts Monday morning is to leave my place of residence and settle in a place utterly strange surrounded by strangers. This offers me the chance to start over. It has the promise of allowing me to rebuild my self down to my most basic self image. The potential I see for self change is limitless. I can become whatever I can imagine. I only hope that I am up to meeting the challenge.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: Erasing Personal History [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #10621998 -

I am doing the same thing, only I am not moving. The situation I am in makes moving much harder than changing in place.

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Re: Erasing Personal History [Re: Tibetan]
    #10622017 -

I tried that too starting about 12 years ago, but it is a much more gradual process. Moving actually makes it easier, but it is a harder pill to swallow at the beginning. You can change your self definitions in place, and it is a great place to start when experimenting with change.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: Erasing Personal History [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #10622096 -

I have had a lot of change in the people I want in my life. Some people don't like it, that makes it harder.

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Re: Erasing Personal History [Re: Tibetan]
    #10622315 -

Wonderful, Huehuecoyotl. :heart:  I hope your journey is fulfilling.  I have romantic notions about the desert but probably would not last long there...bet you will though.


--------------------
“Strengthened by contemplation and study,
I will not fear my passions like a coward.
My body I will give to pleasures,
to diversions that I’ve dreamed of,
to the most daring erotic desires,
to the lustful impulses of my blood, without
any fear at all, for whenever I will—
and I will have the will, strengthened
as I’ll be with contemplation and study—
at the crucial moments I’ll recover
my spirit as was before: ascetic.”

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Re: Erasing Personal History [Re: Lion]
    #10622334 -

Thanks! Desert it may be, but I will have a roof, walls, and even electricity and hopefully broadband internet. I like to camp occasionally, but I ain't that hard core. My challenge is in going to a strange place...that it is in the Sonoran desert is just coincidence.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: Erasing Personal History [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #10622447 -

Don't smoke the toads.

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Re: Erasing Personal History [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #10622467 -

Huehuecoyotl said:
The next step...which starts Monday morning is to leave my place of residence and settle in a place utterly strange surrounded by strangers. This offers me the chance to start over. It has the promise of allowing me to rebuild my self down to my most basic self image. The potential I see for self change is limitless. I can become whatever I can imagine. I only hope that I am up to meeting the challenge.


It worked for me, sure it was difficult but so worth it!

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Re: Erasing Personal History [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #10622592 -

Huehuecoyotl said:
Thanks! Desert it may be, but I will have a roof, walls, and even electricity and hopefully broadband internet. I like to camp occasionally, but I ain't that hard core. My challenge is in going to a strange place...that it is in the Sonoran desert is just coincidence.

True, the amenities will be good, but it's still a locale that can get really hot during the day and really freaking cold at night.  Definitely a tough place to live.  Not trying to dampen your enthusiasm (doubt I could anyway :wink: ), just saying it will indeed be a challenge and an adventure.


--------------------
“Strengthened by contemplation and study,
I will not fear my passions like a coward.
My body I will give to pleasures,
to diversions that I’ve dreamed of,
to the most daring erotic desires,
to the lustful impulses of my blood, without
any fear at all, for whenever I will—
and I will have the will, strengthened
as I’ll be with contemplation and study—
at the crucial moments I’ll recover
my spirit as was before: ascetic.”

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Re: Erasing Personal History [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #10622807 -

Excellent, I love this.

I'm doing something similar.  Leaving my job and my apartment to wander around New Zealand for a year and meet all new people.  Just me and strangers in a strange land.  I'll come back but not before having abandoned all the roles I've been embodying for the last however many years.  I like that I don't know who I'll be.

Walk on brother. :heart:


--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:

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Re: Erasing Personal History [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #10623106 -

After reading the first book by Carlos, I set out on a quest to find the Don.  What I mostly found were people that were tired of the ugly American tearing up the countryside looking for a magical guru.  Counter-culture icons along with their admirers had laid waste to the chances that anyone would find the Don.  On my next trip I went way south into the mountains where the well fed dare not go. It was a life altering experience, and I hope you have the same chance.  :peace:

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Re: Erasing Personal History [Re: C.M. Mann]
    #10623304 -

I have already found my master and guru. That person is myself. I am capable of setting enough challenges for myself without someone else needing to do it...lol. I don't need to find don Juan. At the end of the road I am only looking to find myself.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: Erasing Personal History [Re: WhiskeyClone]
    #10623319 -

WhiskeyClone said:
Excellent, I love this.

I'm doing something similar.  Leaving my job and my apartment to wander around New Zealand for a year and meet all new people.  Just me and strangers in a strange land.  I'll come back but not before having abandoned all the roles I've been embodying for the last however many years.  I like that I don't know who I'll be.

Walk on brother. :heart:


New Zealand is an awesome sounding place, and your plan sounds great! I am glad that there are others with the courage to grab what they want without society dictating to them too much. You have definitely started to transcend your programming.

Letting the experience transform you is a good idea. My approach is that after I abandon my roles that I build new ones with purpose and planning. Sort of like how an artist uses canvas and paint...you start with a blank canvas...plan the image...then paint it with precision. Except the painting is my life.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: Erasing Personal History [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #10623574 -

i find it amazing how the pressure to act 'like oneself' can prevent people from growing. I know it happens to me sometimes.. i feel like making some big change in behavior would appear, in the eyes of society, like i dont really have any behavior and thus are unpredictable and unreliable in conviction. But .. give it some time.. and the new you is the new you


--------------------

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Re: Erasing Personal History [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #10623605 -

Thanks for posting that dude. :thumbup:

We're planning on moving to a place we decided to move to simply because it just felt like we would really appreciate living there. Its about a year away and it coincides with a lot of other stuff that we'll be involved with, career-wise and so forth, and looking forward to it and everything that is associated with it while enjoying the present moment together really helps to motivate oneself and think in a much more cognitive, enjoyable, productive way. My memory is even improving, not being hindered in the slightest by you know what. :lol: Anyways, I guess I'd just suggest to keep a mindful eye on, in the midst of all that change in your sense of identity, the aspects and reasons why you really enjoy being here, what really appeals to you and interests you, and that you don't let go of all that too, because being fully immersed in experiencing reality in this moment is one hell of an opportunity that needs to be fully seized. :grin:

Personally, I've only began to read some Carlos Castaneda, to help learn a new language... It must have been interesting for you to have made use of them to such an extent because it really seems like there is some quality stuff in there. :smile:


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you
:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:

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Re: Erasing Personal History [Re: Noteworthy]
    #10623704 -

Noteworthy said:
i find it amazing how the pressure to act 'like oneself' can prevent people from growing. I know it happens to me sometimes.. i feel like making some big change in behavior would appear, in the eyes of society, like i dont really have any behavior and thus are unpredictable and unreliable in conviction. But .. give it some time.. and the new you is the new you


It happens all of the time. When I announced my intentions to leave my parents got offended, and everyone else acts like I am going to die. My children are the only exceptions. They are all excited about it. In their eyes I am establishing a forward base for their future western invasion...lol. I have welcomed anyone in my life to come see me in my new locale, but I have a strong feeling that my kids will be the only ones who follow through. For the last 10 years my spiritual explorations have really influenced my child rearing so that now that they all adults they understand what I am doing and why. It will be eassy to not assume old roles with people who I do encounter from this time as the location will be different and the old role will not have to be enforced.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: Erasing Personal History [Re: fireworks_god]
    #10623712 -

fireworks_god said:
Thanks for posting that dude. :thumbup:

We're planning on moving to a place we decided to move to simply because it just felt like we would really appreciate living there. Its about a year away and it coincides with a lot of other stuff that we'll be involved with, career-wise and so forth, and looking forward to it and everything that is associated with it while enjoying the present moment together really helps to motivate oneself and think in a much more cognitive, enjoyable, productive way. My memory is even improving, not being hindered in the slightest by you know what. :lol: Anyways, I guess I'd just suggest to keep a mindful eye on, in the midst of all that change in your sense of identity, the aspects and reasons why you really enjoy being here, what really appeals to you and interests you, and that you don't let go of all that too, because being fully immersed in experiencing reality in this moment is one hell of an opportunity that needs to be fully seized. :grin:

Personally, I've only began to read some Carlos Castaneda, to help learn a new language... It must have been interesting for you to have made use of them to such an extent because it really seems like there is some quality stuff in there. :smile:


Good luck with your move. It is good to have adventures that challenge ones sense of self. You wouldn't want to be too solid about that as I feel that it inhibits change. As far as my identity goes I am learning that it is purely imaginary. It can be whatever you want or need it to be. Many people feel challenged by change, but change is the default situation. The trick is to be sober and stable through endless change.

I hope you enjoy Castaneda. It may not give you the inspiration that I got from it because when I first read it I was badly in need of direction. To most people it is a mixed bag, but what is there is fully worthwhile.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: Erasing Personal History [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #10625195 -

"There is often social pressure to repeat behaviors...even negative ones...because that is how others have come to define you. Back in the day I was a fairly serious alcoholic. I heard lecture after lecture from others about how bad this was. When I quit I was aghast that this made these same people uncomfortable because they no longer had me pigeon holed. This phenomenon nearly led me to divorce."

That's pretty fucked up that your wife nearly divorced you because you were trying to help yourself out. Many people face this social pressure to repeat familiar behaviors, and I won't lie, I've been guilty of this sometimes, too. You just have to not give a fuck, and just do/act in whichever way you enjoy. I think moving to a desert is kind of extreme to achieve this end, and there's a possibility that it won't even help you, because your problems usually follow you wherever you go.


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.

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Re: Erasing Personal History [Re: Poid]
    #10625307 -

because your problems usually follow you wherever you go.

That's why he's currently redefining "you". :wink:


--------------------
Let's get the fuck out of here.

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Re: Erasing Personal History [Re: Bernackums]
    #10625450 -

But the 'he' who is doing the redefining will still have his problems wherever he goes, that's why I don't think it's necessary to move to a desert in order to redefine yourself. But to each his own, if he thinks that this is what he ought to do (and I'm sure he's put a lot of thought into), who am I to say he's wrong? :shrug:


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.

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