Quote:

---

NastyDHL said:
You should always be nicer to people man.  All you need is love...after some psychedelic experiences I really do believe that a lack of love is the cause of all our internal problems.  The internal problems manifest their way into the external world through our irrational attempts at compensation.

Patience is a virtue.  It's tough to be patient.  But when you try to be compassionate, and try to see why other people do the "stupid" things they do, and you are patient with their behavior because it is caused by silly human irrationality and selfishness, not only will you be much much happier and less stressed, but you will have a great effect on other people.  Unwavering patience has a crazy way of making other people question their actions/beliefs. 

If someone does something and would normally expect you to get pissed or at the least sight loudly, and you just greet them with a look of patient understanding, you give that other person a huge boost.  Many people get so overwhelmed and stressed out in our society, just minor things like someone in front you fumbling the checkbook at the check-out line at the grocery store can set you off and stress you out.  People can really sense that negativity.

The next time you are frustrated/in a hurry you should try to be understanding and patient.  Imagine how an old woman, who prepares herself up to be defensive and pissed because she's taking a long time at the check-out counter, would feel when all of a sudden she realizes there is not someone impatiently tapping their foot or breathing or sighing heavily behind her, but there is someone who greets her with a smile and a sense of acceptance for her lack of perfectness, someone who understands and OK's her situation instead of wishing she had behaved more compliantly with your own selfish desires (to get the fuck out of the way already).

You should always be nicer to people dude.  But not fake nice, or tolerant, like the other dude said, but kind.  Don't pretend to not be pissed or annoyed or frustrated when you are.  Instead, cultivate patience and compassion for others, so you no longer force your selfish expectations on them.  It's a tough world man, and people could always use a hug and some love, to break them out of their cycles of worry, stress, anxiety.

---

Quote:

---

alternatereality said:
Well there's a big difference between being intelligent and condescending.

You shouldn't have to shut your mouth to make people like you. You can be intelligent and cynical and sarcastic and still be charming. It seems like the problem is just that you come off as a jerk.

---

Oh come on love I don't come off as a jerk do I?

So last night I went out with some quasi-friends, social acquaintances, really.  I was talking to the ex gf and she was going out and I figured I'd tag along and blow more of my money at the bar

Anyways, the people who were there I usually butt heads with quite a bit, I even met the boyfriend of a girl who I've...well, I've not gotten along with her at all, ever.  She's definitely one of the people that I have been a jerk to, but she totally deserved it.  Anyways, got along with her boyfriend just fine, and everybody else was easy enough to get along with too.

I think what helped was that everybody was keeping things light.  It's so much easier to be nice when there isn't a debate raging.

Thanks for the thoughts all!

Quote:

---

I think I used to be a much 'nicer' person, but then the cynical part of me thinks that I probably just didn't know what a bunch of fucking idiots everybody is about everything

---