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OfflineZenXi6
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Forgot what it is to be human.
    #10425948 - 05/30/09 04:29 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Last night, I decided to have a psych party with my friends.
I made tea for everyone, just a single cup each.. didn't expect to have dosed everyone to the extent that I did.

After about half an hour, I was already feeling the tentricles of the universe unleashing their grasp on my soul.

The thing is, my soul is not MINE.  Nobody actually has their own soul.  We are all one in this goope-lly universe.

I lost all sense of myself, could not comprehend any human emotion or interaction what so ever, every time I talked with people and tried to be  emotionally intelligent, I remembered that I had no idea what emotional intelligence was.

People freaked out.  The house went to chaos.  There was talk of calling an ambulance.  Blood, guts, vomit, shit.. everywhere.

Went to bed.... Bed was most confusing.

Everything is always good-bad all at once.  There is no good, nor no bad, there is just a constant flowing energy.  Good and bad are human constructs meant to keep us controlled, meant to keep us trapped in a world where social power structures are the definers of interaction.

Comprehension was beyond me, and still may be.. of regularity.  But fuck!  What is regularity?  Is that really what I want?  Is it really what we want?  Regularity comes with the stigma of being... a regular thing.  But it's not.  Perhaps regular is the wrong KIND of language.  Perhaps the language that we use has been slowly constructed in such a way, that our interaction and THOUGHT is controlled by its dimensions.

Orwell..  LOL.

The dimensions of language and communication, and therefore understanding and thought are the things warped by the psychedelic experience.
Our brains wiring is tapped into on a more connected level... and everything is at our fingertips.

I'm so confused.


Where am i?!


--------------------
We are the Divine Universe, Incarnate!

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Offlineovechkin57
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Re: Forgot what it is to be human. [Re: ZenXi6]
    #10425979 - 05/30/09 04:36 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

I lost all sense of myself, could not comprehend any human emotion or interaction what so ever, every time I talked with people and tried to be  emotionally intelligent, I remembered that I had no idea what emotional intelligence was.





Sounds like Ego Death...
do some research on ego death, or ego loss...

Interesting report, to say the least. Im sure many of us can relate...

Quote:

Comprehension was beyond me, and still may be.. of regularity.  But fuck!  What is regularity?  Is that really what I want?  Is it really what we want?  Regularity comes with the stigma of being... a regular thing.  But it's not.  Perhaps regular is the wrong KIND of language.  Perhaps the language that we use has been slowly constructed in such a way, that our interaction and THOUGHT is controlled by its dimensions.




Doesnt it suck to have to go back to reality? and face all the bullshit of this life...

I have had very similar revelations... everything is connected...


--------------------
"Words are but symbols for the relations of things to one another and to us; nowhere do they touch upon absolute truth."
-Friedrich Nietzsche

Everything in moderation... Including moderation...


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OfflineZenXi6
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Re: Forgot what it is to be human. [Re: ovechkin57]
    #10425995 - 05/30/09 04:41 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Everything is connected indeed.

You know what I keep realising of late though.. the further into the mind I venture.. the more I realise that reality is what we make it. 
Reality is like that always, it's just that your filter is turned up to full.  Learn new ways to let go.

As Leary said.  Turn on, Tune in, Drop out.

And I believe it probably was ego death.  I lost everything, I died.  Everything was everywhere all at once.  All things converged into everything.  I've read a lot about it, and I think that's where I went.


--------------------
We are the Divine Universe, Incarnate!

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Offlineovechkin57
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Re: Forgot what it is to be human. [Re: ZenXi6]
    #10426036 - 05/30/09 04:53 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Solid points...

How do you feel after your ego death? I havent looked at things the same since mine... i look at a lot with different perspectives... (for the better, IMO)...

"Turn on, tune in, drop out" is right...
And im always looking for ways become more spiritual, and to learn to let go, as you put it...

Blessings


--------------------
"Words are but symbols for the relations of things to one another and to us; nowhere do they touch upon absolute truth."
-Friedrich Nietzsche

Everything in moderation... Including moderation...


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OfflineZenXi6
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Re: Forgot what it is to be human. [Re: ovechkin57]
    #10427259 - 05/30/09 09:42 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Psychedelics are working on rewiring my brain slowly over time.
In the months, years that trips have been endeavoured upon.. my mind has found antipodes beyond what I could've ever expected from such an electro-chemical jumble!

Well, beyond what I originally understood of the Universe.. anyway!

Such intensity from last night.. such complete and utter miscomprehension of what it is/was to be human.

(=  Wow.  Lovely  =)


--------------------
We are the Divine Universe, Incarnate!

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Offlineg00ru
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Re: Forgot what it is to be human. [Re: ZenXi6]
    #10428301 - 05/31/09 02:22 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Shrooms are weird.

Just remember not to lose touch with conventional reality.  It's just as valid as the reality you're describing, and not nearly as disturbing.


--------------------
check out my music!
drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss

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OfflineNoteworthy
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Re: Forgot what it is to be human. [Re: g00ru]
    #10428539 - 05/31/09 06:09 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

so.. was there actually Blood, guts, vomit, shit.. everywhere.
or was it imaginary?


--------------------

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InvisibleCognitive_Shift
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Re: Forgot what it is to be human. [Re: Noteworthy]
    #10428669 - 05/31/09 08:12 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Sounds like ego death.  Psych party?  Psychs are not a party drug to me, but hey what the hell!

When i get ego death i forget all the socially learned things like how we are supposed to act or talk.  I feel one, and just exist.


--------------------
L'enfer est plein de bonnes volontés et désirs

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OfflinePCHSurfer
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Re: Forgot what it is to be human. [Re: Cognitive_Shift]
    #10429158 - 05/31/09 11:16 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

Sounds like you through a killer party dude!

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OfflineBilly1111
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Re: Forgot what it is to be human. [Re: PCHSurfer]
    #10430589 - 05/31/09 03:59 PM (14 years, 9 months ago)

can i come to the next one!?


--------------------
"to be free of the opinion of others......to be free of the opinion of yourself............"

I have schizophrenia.All my post are lies written by one of my alter egos.Help search for a cure.


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OfflineZenXi6
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Re: Forgot what it is to be human. [Re: Billy1111]
    #10446195 - 06/03/09 06:53 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

haha, psych's aren't a party drug.. def not.. a psych party, i see, as a ritualistic gathering of like minds, I serve tea for everyone, create a setting and go from there =)!

There was not chaos everywhere really.  The cats had destroyed some paper, and that was about it.. but I get a bit OCD about cleanliness on shrooms..  damn order / chaos!

I'm actually not a big fan of convention.. and the more I realise, the more I know that the convention is a construct of a society gone MAD!  We must destroy it and rebuild it.. and through the other things I am doing, and starting to do, I will help this along..

I write/draw/ponder a lot.. try to keep my book on me at all times!
I realised the other day, that "responsibility" is a stringent, expected condition of our society... I think a lot of mental "issues" come down to people wanting to live in different ways, and not being allowed to.  Our society and culture, however broad it may seem, does NOT work for everyone, nor should it be expected to.
9-5er, rent, bills, white picket fence is NOT for everyone.  And i'm generalising there, I know society offers a lot more, but generally, there are certain expectations, certain supposed responsibilities put upon people... expected of all.. that shouldn't be.

Ranting now!  Mushrooms again last night.. went mad for a while there.  Lit the kettle on fire in the kitchen, it was lovely.  Danced in the rain in the street.. freaked out at shit.. mm


--------------------
We are the Divine Universe, Incarnate!

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OfflineGrav
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Re: Forgot what it is to be human. [Re: ZenXi6]
    #10446466 - 06/03/09 08:54 AM (14 years, 9 months ago)

mmm... dancing in the rain.

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